So my girlfriend is going into the military and she leaves on July 24 and will be gone for nine months for training. I want to stay together because I love her and I have no problem waiting for her, but she told me she just wants to be friends while she is gone and resume dating when she gets back. I told her I would be completely faithful while she was gone, then she asked me what is she wasn't faithful. I don't know what to do, I love her, but she is pushing me away because of this. Our relationship is perfectly fine besides this entire thing. What should I do? I know a few people will be funny, but I'd like at least a few serious replies as well. Thanks :-/ She is 18 and I am 21 if this helps at all.
I plan on writing to her as much as possible, but she doesn't want to stay together while she is gone. Do you think I should just end it now and be friends..?
I plan on writing to her as much as possible, but she doesn't want to stay together while she is gone. Do you think I should just end it now and be friends..?LordsLoss
Yes, definitely. She will be going away and does not want to stay together that is the sign. You might want to write a little bit two her while she is in duty still in case when she comes back she is single. If you are really attracted to this girl that might give you an opening.
I have a rather untraditional view on love and all that jazz. You can sleep with other people and it won't be cheating on them, but you should only do so if it's ok with her (which from you post that seems to be the case)
Love isn't about the duration it's about quality, there is nothing wrong with looking for better.
I guess I'll end it when I see her next, this is the hardest thing I've had to do because she is my first love and my first well everything. It sucks because I have six months of training for police academy starting in June and I wanted her to still be with me so well we could support each other. Guess life doesn't really work out as planned.
I guess I'll end it when I see her next, this is the hardest thing I've had to do because she is my first love and my first well everything. It sucks because I have six months of training for police academy starting in June and I wanted her to still be with me so well we could support each other. Guess life doesn't really work out as planned. LordsLoss
So my girlfriend is going into the military and she leaves on July 24 and will be gone for nine months for training. I want to stay together because I love her and I have no problem waiting for her, but she told me she just wants to be friends while she is gone and resume dating when she gets back. I told her I would be completely faithful while she was gone, then she asked me what is she wasn't faithful. I don't know what to do, I love her, but she is pushing me away because of this. Our relationship is perfectly fine besides this entire thing. What should I do? I know a few people will be funny, but I'd like at least a few serious replies as well. Thanks :-/ She is 18 and I am 21 if this helps at all. LordsLoss
It may hurt to hear this, but she isn't into you anymore. What she is trying to tell you is that she is gonna be bangin other military dudes while she is in the military. I know it's hard, but you need to move on man. Try goin out with friends a lot and getting drunk and banging skanks. It seems to help me when Im in a rough spot in life.
I'm going to be blunt. Long distance relationships very very rarely work. I'm not going to tell you what to do, that's up to you. I'm just voicing my opinion based on personal experience. Maybe things will be different with you but I'd advice you to keep it in the back of your head atleast.
I have a rather untraditional view on love and all that jazz. You can sleep with other people and it won't be cheating on them, but you should only do so if it's ok with her (which from you post that seems to be the case)
Love isn't about the duration it's about quality, there is nothing wrong with looking for better.
toast_burner
Well love does not exist but you are right people should be able to sleep with whoever they want without being labeled.
I kind of like the bluntness of random users over the Internet. Did OT actually help with a problem? Haha I guess the hardest part is just saying goodbye. Thanks guys and gals.
hate to say it man..but she is moving on...if by some chance she wants to get back with you afterwards that's great..but as of now..she is looking for freedom from you...time to look for other options...
Whatever you decide is up to you. Neither she, nor any family, nor any close friend nor any stranger on OT will be as affected by your decision as you. It is up to you and it will affect your life most. But do take care of yourself and don't let the pain or loneliness push you into any rash decisions. She may or may not come back knocking on your door but that is nowhere near as important as you losing yourself to any relationship. Chin up and live your life for you, man. Love is grand, but there is a whole lot more to life than romantic relationships.
It is really good to know that you want to stay faithful with your girl even if she will be away for nine whole months. You also need to realize that nine months may not seem long enough for you but it might mean a lifetime. A lot can happen which is probably why she is asking you to stay friends. She's only trying to make it easy for the both of you.
Look on the bright side, you should be happy she told you. What if she came home, you had been committed to her for 9 months and she was cheating on you that whole time? This isn't that bad of a situation when the alternatives could have been f*cking awful.
I agree with pretty much everyone else. I was in your situation once (or very close to it) but I stupidly talked my gf into staying with me, yeah ... that led to a whole lot of cheating on her behalf. Then we got back together, but by then the damage was done to both of us. She ended up cheating again and I ended up being the tool again. Let her go, don't make it a point to talk to her but don't be mean if you do speak with her. Treat it just as it is, she's getting on with her life and you're getting on with yours. If there ever was a chance of you two getting back together and having it work I'd say that's about the only path to go.
I dated a girl in the military once. It was very stressful, and lead to huge insecurities. Which led to me having my worse break up in my life. Sure the sex was great, but the emotional trauma was too much. End it TC...it is not worth the pain. But military vagina is great vagina...just sayin...
she wants to be friends while she is gone? yeah man sounds like she wants to be single going out there but if you can make it work go for it but if it was me i would just end it. I know its hard but 9 months is a long time and she's going to be without her cell phone and all that since their strict about that in training
I think you need to face facts and move on. It's probably for the best anyway. You don't want the type of woman who joins the military anyway.Mister_Mackey
Yeah but she's all like "We can date when I get back", just sounds like she's feeding him a line.
Jandurin
That just means if they're both still single and interested. Seriously, she's making the right choice here. she is..but the only thinkg I think is that if she would just flat out come out and say that she wants to break up...the whole we should stay friends until I get back thing is a little on the squirmy side....she should just call it a day and be done with it...as should he...(anyone that wants a break to explore just because they are going away for a few months isn't really taking the relationship serious anyway)...I don't blame her at all...but she has to know his personality is one that will probably mean he'll be waiting like a lost puppy until she gets back...
Yeah but she's all like "We can date when I get back", just sounds like she's feeding him a line.
Omni-Slash
That just means if they're both still single and interested. Seriously, she's making the right choice here. she is..but the only thinkg I think is that if she would just flat out come out and say that she wants to break up...the whole we should stay friends until I get back thing is a little on the squirmy side....she should just call it a day and be done with it...as should he...(anyone that wants a break to explore just because they are going away for a few months isn't really taking the relationship serious anyway)...I don't blame her at all...but she has to know his personality is one that will probably mean he'll be waiting like a lost puppy until she gets back... OMNI she's 18
[QUOTE="Jandurin"] OMNI she's 18very true..i guess it comes down to how long they have been dating.....(again I'm probably the abnormality as I married my High school girlfriend)...
[QUOTE="Omni-Slash"][QUOTE="Jandurin"] OMNI she's 18very true..i guess it comes down to how long they have been dating.....(again I'm probably the abnormality as I married my High school girlfriend)... yes yes but you didn't marry her when you were 18 did you
[QUOTE="Jandurin"] yes yes but you didn't marry her when you were 18 did you oh hellz no...and we separated for a while while we were each in college...but we just broke it off and it was by chance we got back together...bahh.anyway....gotta bail...see you all later..
[QUOTE="Omni-Slash"][QUOTE="Jandurin"] yes yes but you didn't marry her when you were 18 did you oh hellz no...and we separated for a while while we were each in college...but we just broke it off and it was by chance we got back together...bahh.anyway....gotta bail...see you all later.. exactly ALSO ADIOS
keep in touch while she's away... so when she comes back you guys can continue where you left off.
Even if you break up and she wants to be friends, that doesn't mean the end - keep your game tight and you can string her back. While she's away you can find yourself another girl to keep you company.
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