Is attraction a choice?

David DeAngelo sais that attraction is not a choice. Women can't control attraction if they feel it and you can't change it if they don't. He said that women cannot be bribed into choosing to feel attraction, but rather feel attraction automatically when they sense a man has confidence, humor and independence, qualities he labels "cocky and funny." He claims that one of the biggest mistakes man make is assuming that attraction worked the same way for women as it does for men. He sais that Men become turned on by what they can see. Women become turned on by what can NEVER be seen. In other words, while Men are more attracted to physical traits, women are more attracted to PERSONALITY traits.

Do you agree with him?

I agree, I think alot of people are like that regardless of gender.

Yes & No ... it's hard to agree with him after finishing high school ..

It might be true on quite a large scale .. but that doesn't exclude the many artificial empty girls you encounter ..

In other words shallow women exist in the thousands ...

I agree, to an extent. Physical attraction is important to guys, as almost any guy could point out.

On the same coin, if you have a really good looking girl, and she has a bad pesronality, gone.

So it's a bit of both, I think.

I do agree. I've noticed men are attracted more to looks and women are more attracted to personality. But I guess the person needs a bit of both to balance a relationship. You can't really have a good relationship working out if you're ugly, and it won't work either if you're attractive yet have a bad personality. A person needs both, in my opinion.Zaeryn

Attraction isn't a choice. In fact I think some of it's genetic. Not only do I look a lot like my mum (people can recognise me just from meeting her) but she likes dark/tanned skinned people with black hair and I usually prefer that as well :) I love guys with afros :D It's just something I've found interesting how we both go for the same sorts of guys...

In fact, me and my mum both have short tempers, worry a lot, organise lists, and both of us fancied being a car mechanic at 16... my God that's creepy! :?

Few people look like Brad Pit or Leonardo Dicaprio which shows that personality plays a large role too. X4D

...and both of us fancied being a car mechanic at 16... my God that's creepy! :?

tofu-lion91

I had to read that about four times before I finally read it properly for some reason.

[QUOTE="tofu-lion91"]

...and both of us fancied being a car mechanic at 16... my God that's creepy! :?

SpidersRMe

I had to read that about four times before I finally read it properly for some reason.

I'm not even gonna ask how you read it the first 3 times :?

Yes & No ... it's hard to agree with him after finishing high school ..

It might be true on quite a large scale .. but that doesn't exclude the many artificial empty girls you encounter ..

In other words shallow women exist in the millions ...

soren008

Fixed.

it true, but to an extent. personally first thing i look for in a girl is looks, then if shes a idiot it goes no further. i guess you can say good looks are a prerequisite, then comes personality.Blitz_Nemesis

In my opinion personality is much more important than looks. Looks are superficial. Even if a man has good looks but is evil, abusive or stupid, he is not worth the attention. Relationships based on looks alone usually are much shorter than relationships which are based on personality.

[QUOTE="Blitz_Nemesis"]it true, but to an extent. personally first thing i look for in a girl is looks, then if shes a idiot it goes no further. i guess you can say good looks are a prerequisite, then comes personality.X4D

In my opinion personality is much more important than looks. Looks are superficial. Even if a man has good looks but is evil, abusive or stupid, he is not worth the attention. Relationships based on looks alone usually are much shorter than relationships which are based on personality.

Is attraction a choice?X4D

The world is full self-proclaimed experts that believe they are experts simply because they have an opinion or theory. Attraction is a profound thing that can't be explained with one simple formula.

I'm not even gonna ask how you read it the first 3 times :?

tofu-lion91

probably being with a car mechanic.

If I had a girl that liked me and she was the hottest girl I ever seen if she was a ***** then I would have left her.

Simple.

Maybe my standards are too high...

I am a girl and I dont want to date a obese ugly guy even if he has a good persoonality. He has to look atleast average for me. :P

Its human nature because looks used to and still tell us how healthy a person is.

I must be a lesbian trapped inside of a man's body then... I can only feel attraction to people who I can have an emotional connection with.foxhound_fox

Dam me too amazing stuff, too bad there isn't many of us :roll:

[QUOTE="foxhound_fox"]I must be a lesbian trapped inside of a man's body then... I can only feel attraction to people who I can have an emotional connection with.00Raziel00

Dam me too, amazing stuff too bad there isn't many of us :roll:

me too...and I'm not proud of that. The chances I miss are increasing as days pass.

Attraction not a choice? Agreed.

Women being attracted by what can not be seen? Disagreed. Many, many women feel attraction from looks alone.