Is being a nice guy worth it ?

In many cases nice guys gets bullied, gets rejected by girls (freind zoned), emotional, people take advantage, loses promotion to smart guys.

Is it worth being a nice guy to survive in this world OT ? In real life dosen't cunning guys always wins over nice guys ?

It's not worth being a doormat in life.

Being nice is a great thing though.

Lots of people seem to confuse these two...

whats meaning of doormat ?

What do people do to doormats?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy

What does any of that have to do with being nice? That's being a loser.

Don't be nice, be kind. It's a totally different attitude. If you look up the origin of the word nice it's not what you think. Being a kind person is something everyone should strive for. That does not mean you can not also be aggressive towards the things you want. It's human nature, especially that of strong men to go after what they want. That is also a very attractive quality to women.

In high school? Probably not. It's best to concentrate on your school work and developing friendships rather than romantic relationships.

In adulthood? What kind of "nice guy" are we talking about here? Someone who respects women and treats them as equals? Or someone who acts as a doormat for any woman that pays the slightest bit of attention to them, changing their personality and interests to match that of the woman of interest, only to become their "friend" and never tell the woman how they really feel?

The former is definitely something every man should try to accomplish. The latter is just a sad state of affairs for people incapable of stepping outside their comfort zone and growing some balls (i.e. confidence). There certainly is a group of women out there who enjoy a doormat (especially sexually) but I doubt most men really want to be one in their normal lives.

People can often mistake kindness for weakness, then they're shocked when you actually assume your ultimate form, and tear the place up, when they have over stepped the mark.

There's a difference between being nice and being a stupid sap who lets people walk all over you. Furthermore, no one makes it on their own. Connections are extremely important, getting people to help you is an important thing distinguishing the talented failures from the talented losers. That's not to say that you NEED to accomplish this by being nice, but being nice can help. Many people get special opportunities largely because someone powerful likes them. Being nice MIGHT be why they like you. So don't knock nice, that might be part of what gets your foot in the door.

Anyway, if you're REALLY a nice guy, then you're not being nice because you expect it to get you money, women, or power. If you're a "nice guy" and get "friend zoned", and then get angry about it, then it's time to have your nice guy card revoked. You weren't being nice for her sake, you were only being nice because you thought it would help you get laid. At that point, you're just using a different form of currency to buy what you want. That's no different than someone who gets girls by showering them with money and gifts.

HeHe So true

I was a nice guy all my life ...... until someone push my pandora's button in mid 2005.

I realise being a nice guy is not worth it ...... your so-called friends makes you as their ATM Machine..... Your parents thinks you are a holy robot .....

since then ....... I do what I want and whenever I want to .....

Sticks and stones brake bones but words never hurt.

Can't talk about suicide and 'hating' gay people; I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I actually am hurt from being denied self expression.

Political correctness bullies me, I have to be a nice guy and pay him my lunch money so I don't get banned, feel me

X bullies Y, Y bullies Z | Z pleases Y, Y pleases X

1. Your post implies you're comparing nice guys to smart guys.

2. Maybe people are nice for reasons other than personal gain?

Taking highschool out of the equation because EVERY LAST PERSON in highschool is mentally vacant and doesn't know anything about anything, yes, being a genuinely nice, good guy who is nice for reasons other than to gain something IS worth it in real life.

In regards to life in general, nobody likes an asshole. Really. It may make you seem like a bigshot, but since you're not a bigshot, you're just full of s***. There's a difference between being nice and letting people walk all over you. Don't confuse the two.

By smart, I'm assuming you mean cunning and underhanded. That works for a short time, until you burn bridges, and then you're screwed.

What kind of girl do you want to attract? Preferably a nice one who shares your values? Be yourself, be nice, be caring and don't put on an act. How can you ever have a relationship with someone who clicks with you if you're attracting the wrong kind of people because you're trying to be an asshole to get girls because you think that's what they want?

And as for the friendzone... girls don't owe you sex or a relationship just because you're nice to them or like them. If the girl you're interested in says she has no feelings back for you, one really good way to make sure that never changes is to treat her like she owed you feelings in return.

So being nice and a kind person towards others is always a good thing guys ? I mean no need to be mean , calculating , agrressive type of person to lead a happier successful life ya ?

Let me make it simple for you: you are who you are, you will never be able to change that. You can and should improve and refine yourself, but you will never be able to change your essence. Trying to be someone you're not will suck, even if who you truly are sucks. There's something for everyone in this life, its just that some people are able to find that something much easier than others. But again, the gain is always proportionate to the toil and labor involved in its pursuit.

As it's been already stated in the thread "Why do bad things happen to good people ?" , nice guys, one way or another, will eventually get screwed.And experience has convinced me of that.Yet the most heart-breaking part is that jerk-offs seem to always come out victorious.

I don't see how being a nice guy means he's prone to getting bullied, rejected by girls, or any of the things you mentioned. A nice guy can be successful in life as well. I have a cousin who is a nice guy. Yet, he got hounded by girls all the time because of his good looks. No one bullied him and he's doing well in life. The only thing that sucks is his taste in music.

I see my cuz . Very innocent and shy guy ( average looking ) , complains about his life ( no girls loves him , getting bullied ) to me. His whole family r nice people , down to earth kind of folks. I say good things happen to good people in the end , what more can i say ? Hope he gets through great in the end.

Sad but true. I think one have to be cunning ( also kind and nice to others ) than being completely nice in this cuthroat competitive world.

I'm a nice guy not because I expect some kind of positive outcome or a reward, but because it's just who I am. Experience changes people, but for now, this is who I am.

How old is he? If he's still in HS, tell him to hold on because once he graduates, it's a whole different world whether he goes on to college or enters the workforce.

Girls? Big deal. Although I had some girls who were interested in me, they weren't my type. Most of the girls I was interested in weren't interested in me (friend-zoned). In hindsight, I probably should've porked the girls who were interested in me. But, they wanted commitment which would've ended in a shotgun wedding eventually. Just reaching adulthood, I didn't want that. He He.

I can also safely say, all that girl interest thing back in HS is just the raging hormones thing. It'll pass. If he needs relief, get a hooker.

His parents gonna flip if i suggest hookers ... lol ... Hes 22 ( on University atm and gives coaching to young students ). I guess he will learn hard way.

As long as i'm clear with my conscious , i'm good to go! It's in our nature to feel good about ourselves and being nice is one of the ways but you're gonna regret it , ppl are ungrateful and for the sake of yourself just don't hurt anybody and have a clear conscious , u don't need to be a doormat ! and THIS :

Nothing wrong with being a nice guy, as long as you remember that you and yours always come first. Find a balance in what you show and give kindness to one in the amount you receive from them...

No

Like it or not, girls will almost always go for looks and physical appearance (or if the guy's nickname is "Horse"). If he doesn't have those, then he should focus on finishing his studies and starting a career. Later on, he may attract the attention of women who are ready to settle down.

@ariabed: this man knows what's up.

This is how I think most people are, kind until you pass them off

Only for internet white knight nice guys..

I've seen guys screw up their chances with girls by being too nice. Basically it makes you their girlfriend, and once you are there it's difficult to make them see you differently. The best way is by being a damn man. That doesn't mean be a dick, just be aggressive towards what you want, and when you start hitting on other girls when she is around it will make her think, "Why didn't he do that to me?"

But that's the thing, They did it to themselves by not exhibiting behavior that attracts women, not verbalizing their intentions, and in the end blaming the girl for not wanting to suddenly sex them up because they owe them, so obviously they got friend zoned and shes a bitch and nice guys finish last.

Or they put themselves in this position and I stand by saying the friendzone only exists in their head. As for being nice, I am pretty nice, people love me and I get more girls picking me up than me picking them up based on my attitude and niceness. So that does not fly. The difference is I am nobodys doormat, I have my own opinion and make my own decisions and not just become a girls sock puppet/yes man.

Most "nice/guys" are not nice, they are passive aggressive whiny little shits that do not seem to get spending all your time with a girl at her beck and call while she is in a relationship being her sounding board does not guarantee you anything when they are finally single and they are turning themselves into "girlfriend with a penis" not their target. And yes I use the word target because it never seems they really see these women as unique individuals but as a prize to be won by sitting in a corner and pining.

...but still enjoys his company. Hence: the friend zone

its a term used to describe a state of affairs where a guy (usually a pussy) wants to get with some girl, but is too beta to be recognized as potential dating/banging material by the girl.

However, she still enjoys his company and will be friends with the person, even though the guy wants their to be something more than just a "friendship" there

yes, i agree

I don't get the Horse reference =P But yeah , good looking guys always gets girls :)

Its referring to the size of the guys junk...Hung like a ....

I think that is the first legit post I have seen from you in a fair while

ahhh , HeHe

I feel everyone should be nice in general.

indzman I accidentally flagged you my friend. This is due to shitty eye-sight on my part as well as ridiculously shitty forum design, having the quote button next to the flag button. Forgiveness.

LOL its no big deal Heh.