Is it okay to pursue a girl that has a boyfriend?

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civic_misfit

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#1 civic_misfit
Member since 2006 • 548 Posts

Not engaged or married, just a boyfriend. I think it might not be okay because I wouldn't want someone else to do it to my gf.

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Pirate700

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#2 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

Only you can answer that question.

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Travo_basic

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#3 Travo_basic
Member since 2003 • 38751 Posts
Go with your feelings...not ok, not cool.
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rawsavon

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#4 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts
As long as you don't get mad when she leaves you for another guy, then it is fine. (if she is willing to do it to that guy, then she will be willing to do it to you)
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PernicioEnigma

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#5 PernicioEnigma
Member since 2010 • 6663 Posts
Wouldn't stop me.
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deactivated-5f9e3c6a83e51

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#6 deactivated-5f9e3c6a83e51
Member since 2004 • 57548 Posts

I usually don't.

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binpink

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#7 binpink
Member since 2009 • 9163 Posts

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

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Oleg_Huzwog

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#8 Oleg_Huzwog
Member since 2007 • 21885 Posts

If she welcomes your advances, it's cool.

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cd_rom

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#9 cd_rom
Member since 2003 • 13951 Posts

Woo his girlfriend. Beat up the boyfriend. Take the girlfriend's much hotter BFF. Buy yourself a cupcake for a job well done.

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deactivated-6016e81e8e30f

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#10 deactivated-6016e81e8e30f
Member since 2009 • 12955 Posts
[QUOTE="rawsavon"]As long as you don't get mad when she leaves you for another guy, then it is fine. (if she is willing to do it to that guy, then she will be willing to do it to you)

This, and if your willing to risk the boyfriend she left for you finding out and possibly starting a fight.
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deactivated-5f9e3c6a83e51

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#11 deactivated-5f9e3c6a83e51
Member since 2004 • 57548 Posts

If she engages you, that's one thing, but I wouldn't go out and pursue her without some kind of invitation. Would you want someone hitting on your gf?

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pspdseagle

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#12 pspdseagle
Member since 2007 • 3307 Posts

If she shows you she likes you, perhaps...

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civic_misfit

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#13 civic_misfit
Member since 2006 • 548 Posts

Woo his girlfriend. Beat up the boyfriend. Take the girlfriend's much hotter BFF. Buy yourself a cupcake for a job well done.

cd_rom
The first two steps in your plan seem like a waste of energy. I can proceed directly to step 3.
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theycallmeRP

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#14 theycallmeRP
Member since 2009 • 1656 Posts

I see it okay in only two circumstances.

1) the boyfriend treats her really crappy and you can do better

2) you have some type of prior history/friendship/crush/etc. with the girl, and you dramatically win her affection.

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Lockedge

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#15 Lockedge
Member since 2002 • 16765 Posts

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

binpink
I can't say it any better than this, really.
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Oleg_Huzwog

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#16 Oleg_Huzwog
Member since 2007 • 21885 Posts

1) the boyfriend treats her really crappy and you can do bettertheycallmeRP

Ah, yes... the shining knight. That only applies in movies.

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binpink

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#17 binpink
Member since 2009 • 9163 Posts

[QUOTE="binpink"]

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

Lockedge

I can't say it any better than this, really.

Also, if she took the guy up on his advances, her integrity would be in question too. I think that covers it.

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civic_misfit

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#18 civic_misfit
Member since 2006 • 548 Posts

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

binpink
In what way does it raise doubts about my integrity? Their relationship does not entail any commitments yet. If she thinks that she found a better person than her boyfriend, then it's fair game right?
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XilePrincess

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#19 XilePrincess
Member since 2008 • 13130 Posts
I don't think it's okay. Even if the girl doesn't leave her boyfriend for the other guy, it can still seriously damage the relationship. And if she does end up with the pursuer, that relationship could end badly too because of the way it got started. All around just not a good idea.
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Suzy_Q_Kazoo

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#20 Suzy_Q_Kazoo
Member since 2010 • 9899 Posts

I don't think it's okay, but it depends on your own personal stances. As it's been said, if you do succeed in getting the girl then you'd have to expect the notion that someone else can then take her from you just the same.

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binpink

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#21 binpink
Member since 2009 • 9163 Posts

[QUOTE="binpink"]

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

civic_misfit

In what way does it raise doubts about my integrity? Their relationship does not entail any commitments yet. If she thinks that she found a better person than her boyfriend, then it's fair game right?

Even if someone is "just" dating another person, there can be a lot of commitment in their relationship. Everyone works differently. Just because some people don't label themselves husband/wife/fiancee or whatever doesn't mean they're any less commited. The fact that you assume people are unhappy and that it's your place to wedge your way in between two (for the sake of argument) happy peopleisn't impressive.But again everyone's different so if this is what gets you girls, have at it.

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JustusCF

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#22 JustusCF
Member since 2009 • 1050 Posts

I'm not into that, but I can't tell others what to do. I usually wait, and sometimes I'll even find a single girl like I did with my current gf, kinda happy I did :P

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theycallmeRP

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#23 theycallmeRP
Member since 2009 • 1656 Posts

I'm not into that, but I can't tell others what to do. I usually wait, and sometimes I'll even find a single girl like I did with my current gf, kinda happy I did :P

JustusCF

It's such a crazy idea, it just might work.

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civic_misfit

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#24 civic_misfit
Member since 2006 • 548 Posts

[QUOTE="civic_misfit"][QUOTE="binpink"]

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

binpink

In what way does it raise doubts about my integrity? Their relationship does not entail any commitments yet. If she thinks that she found a better person than her boyfriend, then it's fair game right?

Even if someone is "just" dating another person, there can be a lot of commitment in their relationship. Everyone works differently. Just because some people don't label themselves husband/wife/fiancee or whatever doesn't mean they're any less commited. The fact that you assume people are unhappy and that it's your place to wedge your way in between two (for the sake of argument) happy peopleisn't impressive.But again everyone's different so if this is what gets you girls, have at it.

I see what you're saying. It's just that I don't meet girls that i like very often but I guess I'll let this one go.
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wstfld

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#25 wstfld
Member since 2008 • 6375 Posts
Its fine if you don't know the dude, or don't like him.
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JustusCF

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#26 JustusCF
Member since 2009 • 1050 Posts

[QUOTE="JustusCF"]

I'm not into that, but I can't tell others what to do. I usually wait, and sometimes I'll even find a single girl like I did with my current gf, kinda happy I did :P

theycallmeRP

It's such a crazy idea, it just might work.

:D

I guess I did word that wrong... As if I've picked up girls who were taken already. It's just not my thing.

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Emraldo

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#27 Emraldo
Member since 2004 • 1959 Posts

Absolutely not. If the girl willingly leaves her boyfriend to be with you, that's different. But if you're actively persuing a girl with the intention of causing her to break up with her current boyfriend so she can be with you and you honestly think that's okay, you're the scum of the earth.

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raynimrod

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#28 raynimrod
Member since 2005 • 6862 Posts

I think it comes down to one of the "golden rules".

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

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krazykillaz

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#30 krazykillaz
Member since 2002 • 21141 Posts
It's kind of a **** move.
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Darthkaiser

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#31 Darthkaiser
Member since 2006 • 12447 Posts
If you think you'll be successful yes
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JasonDarksavior

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#32 JasonDarksavior
Member since 2008 • 9323 Posts
Exactly, I don't think it's right however lots of people believe "All is fair in love and war".
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-Tish-

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#33 -Tish-
Member since 2007 • 3624 Posts
Not a good idea. In fact I don't like people who do that. Let their relationship be.
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poptart

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#34 poptart
Member since 2003 • 7298 Posts

Never step on another mans toes - 'tis a troublesome path to tread...

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yonaswii08

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#35 yonaswii08
Member since 2007 • 796 Posts

Not engaged or married, just a boyfriend. I think it might not be okay because I wouldn't want someone else to do it to my gf.

civic_misfit
You basically answered your question don't do it man it's not worth it i have a gf that i want to break up with because of this.
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weezyfb

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#36 weezyfb
Member since 2009 • 14703 Posts
sure thing
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Empirefrtw

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#37 Empirefrtw
Member since 2006 • 1324 Posts

Not engaged or married, just a boyfriend. I think it might not be okay because I wouldn't want someone else to do it to my gf.

civic_misfit
yeah don't do it if she ends up un happy with her current bf and break up then is your chance to show you are available or to tell her how you feel about her but atm let it be.
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The-Tree

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#38 The-Tree
Member since 2010 • 3315 Posts

It's not nice to the other guy, but if you feel that your a better suitor for her, then go for it.

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cain006

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#39 cain006
Member since 2008 • 8625 Posts

[QUOTE="cd_rom"]

Woo his girlfriend. Beat up the boyfriend. Take the girlfriend's much hotter BFF. Buy yourself a cupcake for a job well done.

civic_misfit

The first two steps in your plan seem like a waste of energy. I can proceed directly to step 3.

Or you could skip everything and just have the cupcake.

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starfox15

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#40 starfox15
Member since 2006 • 3988 Posts

I wouldn't say I'm "pursuing" a girl with a bf, but I'm very attracted to her and I'm waiting for her to break up with her bf. I hear it's a bad relationship...

I know that's kinda cold, but I really am willing to start a relationship with her and I'd like to at least try if the opportunity appears.

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Chojuto

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#41 Chojuto
Member since 2007 • 2914 Posts
[QUOTE="binpink"]

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

civic_misfit
In what way does it raise doubts about my integrity? Their relationship does not entail any commitments yet. If she thinks that she found a better person than her boyfriend, then it's fair game right?

No. Then she should break up with her boyfriend before you keep hitting on her.
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F1_2004

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#42 F1_2004
Member since 2003 • 8009 Posts
Doing so makes you a cIass-A douchebag. So no it is not okay unless you aim to be such.
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Solid_Snake325

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#43 Solid_Snake325
Member since 2006 • 6091 Posts
didn't stop me, I don't think it's such a big deal because most likely she will turn you down.
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mywalletsgone

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#44 mywalletsgone
Member since 2010 • 1344 Posts

[QUOTE="Lockedge"][QUOTE="binpink"]

No. It's disrespectful of their relationship and raises doubts about your integrity.

binpink

I can't say it any better than this, really.

Also, if she took the guy up on his advances, her integrity would be in question too. I think that covers it.

lol standards

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Agent-Zero

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#45 Agent-Zero
Member since 2009 • 6198 Posts
It depends. You can't just say "no" for all cases and you can't say "yes" for all cases.
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fastesttruck

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#46 fastesttruck
Member since 2005 • 25353 Posts
Depends. I'm sorta standing by in the hopes that this couple I know break up and I can get her.
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binpink

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#47 binpink
Member since 2009 • 9163 Posts

lol standards

mywalletsgone

I know, who needs 'em?

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fastesttruck

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#48 fastesttruck
Member since 2005 • 25353 Posts
It depends. You can't just say "no" for all cases and you can't say "yes" for all cases.Agent-Zero
I'd say if its falling apart already and or its damaging to at least one of them its fair game. Not saying I'd go out of my way to break people up tho. Get the blind one to see clearly tho is something I'll do.
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ad1x2

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#49 ad1x2
Member since 2005 • 8430 Posts

I knew a guy who did the exact same thing you're proposing. Her boyfriend was in basic training for the Army and she was sleeping with the other guy. She sent her boyfriend who was still in basic a Dear John letter and then married the other guy. Fast forward a few months while her new husband was stationed in Korea she cheated on him too. Like what some other people said, if she's willing to cheat on him with you then what's stopping her from cheating on you with someone else while you're gone on a business trip or a male bonding trip out of town? For your own sake, you should look for someone single. Especially if her current boyfriend is the type who doesn't mind risking going to jail for assault and battery over her.

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JasonDarksavior

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#50 JasonDarksavior
Member since 2008 • 9323 Posts

I knew a guy who did the exact same thing you're proposing. Her boyfriend was in basic training for the Army and she was sleeping with the other guy. She sent her boyfriend who was still in basic a Dear John letter and then married the other guy. Fast forward a few months while her new husband was stationed in Korea she cheated on him too. Like what some other people said, if she's willing to cheat on him with you then what's stopping her from cheating on you with someone else while you're gone on a business trip or a male bonding trip out of town? For your own sake, you should look for someone single. Especially if her current boyfriend is the type who doesn't mind risking going to jail for assault and battery over her.

ad1x2
That girls seems to go around town a lot. ;)