Is there any way I can become a virgin again and be pure in the eyes of the lord

Naw man you can't be a virgin again but thats just natural. Everybody's body wants to naturally have sex. If it was lust takin over just ask the lord for forgiveness.SouthernBBaller

My dad is a priest. He said if you guys don't help me he will beat the sex out of me. Please help!

[QUOTE="SouthernBBaller"]Naw man you can't be a virgin again but thats just natural. Everybody's body wants to naturally have sex. If it was lust takin over just ask the lord for forgiveness.nht12101990

My dad is a priest. He said if you guys don't help me he will beat the sex out of me. Please help!

Alright I'm guessin youre jokin now. :?

[QUOTE="nht12101990"]

[QUOTE="SouthernBBaller"]Naw man you can't be a virgin again but thats just natural. Everybody's body wants to naturally have sex. If it was lust takin over just ask the lord for forgiveness.SouthernBBaller

My dad is a priest. He said if you guys don't help me he will beat the sex out of me. Please help!

Alright I'm guessin youre jokin now. :?

No! I'm not. One time he saw me watching Brokeback Mountain and he beat the gay out of me.

are you male?!

If so, you never had a virginity.

Have better sex. Problem solved.Robbie_IV

That doesn't solve my problem though. I want to be a virgin again. The girl also asked if there is a way to make her... You know... Tight again?

[QUOTE="nht12101990"]

[QUOTE="SouthernBBaller"]Naw man you can't be a virgin again but thats just natural. Everybody's body wants to naturally have sex. If it was lust takin over just ask the lord for forgiveness.SouthernBBaller

My dad is a priest. He said if you guys don't help me he will beat the sex out of me. Please help!

Alright I'm guessin youre jokin now. :?

are you male?!

If so, you never had a virginity.

SimpJee

I tried to lose my virginity to my hand and my dad beat the hormones out of me.

[QUOTE="SimpJee"]

are you male?!

If so, you never had a virginity.

nht12101990

I tried to lose my virginity to my hand and my dad beat the hormones out of me.

:?

I meant that only females can *lose* their virginity. As something physical has changed.

You popped your mental cherry, is all. You could probably be hypnotised into thinking you were still a virgin :P

[QUOTE="SimpJee"]

are you male?!

If so, you never had a virginity.

nht12101990

I tried to lose my virginity to my hand and my dad beat the hormones out of me.

Damn fool what has he not beat out of you!?

[QUOTE="nht12101990"][QUOTE="SimpJee"]

are you male?!

If so, you never had a virginity.

SouthernBBaller

I tried to lose my virginity to my hand and my dad beat the hormones out of me.

Damn fool what has he not beat out of you!?

The Christian!

Makeshift time machine is your best bet.BDM666

I asked my dad if I could build a time machine and he said he would beat the bending of the time space continuum out of me!

Was she cute?AgentA-Mi6

Very. Her breast felt like a bag of sand.

[QUOTE="AgentA-Mi6"]Was she cute?nht12101990

Very. Her breast felt like a bag of sand.

Damn dude she needs to get checked out then.

There was an episode of King of the Hill were Luanne becomes a Born-Again-Virgin.cool_baller

:lol:

Nice, didn't see that episode. How did it work out?

There was an episode of King of the Hill were Luanne becomes a Born-Again-Virgin.cool_baller

Please tell me more about this. Does this mean that I go back into my mothers womb?

This has to be flamebait.SimpJee

I think it's a bad attempt at a joke thread.

Have better sex. Problem solved.Robbie_IV

The thing that made this funny is that it was a mod that said it. :P

[QUOTE="SimpJee"]This has to be flamebait.Robbie_IV

I think it's a bad attempt at a joke thread.

Clearly.

[QUOTE="Robbie_IV"]

[QUOTE="SimpJee"]This has to be flamebait.SpaceMoose

I think it's a bad attempt at a joke thread.

Clearly.

This.

[QUOTE="AgentA-Mi6"]Was she cute?nht12101990

Very. Her breast felt like a bag of sand.

lol 40 year old virgin :P

ur suppose to confess ur sins, and truthfully ask God for forgiveness that u allowed ur "urges" control your rational mind......tsk...tskCesb02

Someone said you can be a Born-Again-Virgin. How do I do that?

[QUOTE="Cesb02"]ur suppose to confess ur sins, and truthfully ask God for forgiveness that u allowed ur "urges" control your rational mind......tsk...tsknht12101990

Someone said you can be a Born-Again-Virgin. How do I do that?

Well Jesus told us to cut off our hand if it causes us to sin. and you really want to stop sinning i assume you could always go chop chop... 123625

Would this involve dong chopping as well?

[QUOTE="nht12101990"][QUOTE="SpaceMoose"][QUOTE="Robbie_IV"]

[QUOTE="SimpJee"]This has to be flamebait.cryptosopoidium

I think it's a bad attempt at a joke thread.

Clearly.

This.

Is sparta.

I win?

Also I have been watching this joke thread, its fails on an epic level.

You lose good day sir! This topic is now about Johnny Depp.

Oh Em Gee. The topics get worse and worse. * facepalm * Seriously some people are not interested in your sex life. And I'm one of them.MissRiotmaker

I concur.

[QUOTE="MissRiotmaker"]Oh Em Gee. The topics get worse and worse. * facepalm * Seriously some people are not interested in your sex life. And I'm one of them.nht12101990

I concur.

[QUOTE="nht12101990"]

[QUOTE="MissRiotmaker"]Oh Em Gee. The topics get worse and worse. * facepalm * Seriously some people are not interested in your sex life. And I'm one of them.MissRiotmaker

I concur.

Wait, what?

[QUOTE="MissRiotmaker"][QUOTE="nht12101990"]

[QUOTE="MissRiotmaker"]Oh Em Gee. The topics get worse and worse. * facepalm * Seriously some people are not interested in your sex life. And I'm one of them.nht12101990

I concur.

Wait, what?