Is this bad parenting?

I'm not really sure how to say this because in my head I don't really think there is anything wrong with it but to other people it might be. Well as most of you know I am 24 and have two kids, my son is 3 and my daughter is less than a month old. Anyways my son is into everything that I am in to and it is really cool but the thing is some of the thing I do isn't the best for a kid his age. For example I will sometimes play games around him where I am killing people and I know it's bad for him to see the "blood" but he knows that it is the bad guy and he must be stopped. Also he watches a lot of movies that I watch and the example I am going to give here is Iron Man. We both saw Iron Man 1 at our house and he loved it but asked the questions about the blood and stuff so I just had to tell him the truth about it, well now Iron Man 2 is coming out and he really wants to see as do I so I do plan on taking him to the movie. The real thing I guess I am kinda worried about is when other people see me with a 3 year old watching a movie that I am sure has violence in it and also I am hoping it does not corrupt his mind and make him psycho when he gets older.

Yes I know this sounds kinda dumb cause when I was growing up I watched Terminator 2 at like age 6 and played Mortal Kombat around age 8 and I turned out fine, as least I think so lol. But I know with the different times things are different around the world and sometimes I worry if I am leading him down the road of being a messed up person in the head when he gets older. I really don't think he will be as long as I am always there for him and try not to push him to far.

So I guess the question is in your opinion do you think I am doing a bad job being a parent? Thanks for your responses.

Nah man, better you expose him to explain it to him than another random person just exposing him. I plan to show my kid porn at 13 and give him the run down on that. Simply because I rather he find out about it from me.

Wow you disgust me.

But seriously as long as its not to graphic and you tell him the difference between real life and imaginary entertainment I think it should be fine. I still wouldn't expose him to an excessive amount of it though.

It's dangerous, it could end up more or less hurting him. If I were a parent, I wouldn't take the chance. Most kids his age should be watching barney.Mochyc

Nah man, better you expose him to explain it to him than another random person just exposing him. I plan to show my kid porn at 13 and give him the run down on that. Simply because I rather he find out about it from me lol.

Espada12

Wow you disgust me.

But seriously as long as its not to graphic and you tell him the difference between real life and imaginary entertainment I think it should be fine. I still wouldn't expose him to an excessive amount of it though.

kidsmelly

[QUOTE="kidsmelly"]

Wow you disgust me.

But seriously as long as its not to graphic and you tell him the difference between real life and imaginary entertainment I think it should be fine. I still wouldn't expose him to an excessive amount of it though.

CyleM

No it doesn't, it seems like you are doing the right thing. At least you contemplenting on wether what you are doing is right some parents could care less what their kids are exposed to. Just keep doing what you is right and learn I guess. I don't know I don't have kids just throwing stuff out there.

[QUOTE="Mochyc"]It's dangerous, it could end up more or less hurting him. If I were a parent, I wouldn't take the chance. Most kids his age should be watching barney.CyleM

Nah man, better you expose him to explain it to him than another random person just exposing him. I plan to show my kid porn at 13 and give him the run down on that. Simply because I rather he find out about it from me lol.

Espada12

Exactly why I am going to do it myself, your brother was in no position to explain it to you.

Yeah sure, I don't consider Iron Man as a "proper" violent movie anyway. It's a comic-book film.

I'd draw the line at things like Saw, or other films that are violent just for the sake of being violent. In any case, I was playing violent games when I was about 8 and I've turned out ok ;)

It's not bad parenting. You are just showing the kid reality in a way; violence is part of life. So long as you instill in him that harming others is wrong then you've got nothing to worry about.

The Iron Man movies are pretty tame. I don't really see anything wrong with taking a 3 year old child to see Iron Man. Just make sure that he can sit still and stay quiet during the movie, because few things are more annoying than going to the movies and having to listen to other peoples' kids cry and whine.

Yeah sure, I don't consider Iron Man as a "proper" violent movie anyway. It's a comic-book film.

I'd draw the line at things like Saw, or other films that are violent just for the sake of being violent. In any case, I was playing violent games when I was about 8 and I've turned out ok ;)

It's not bad parenting. You are just showing the kid reality in a way; violence is part of life. So long as you instill in him that harming others is wrong then you've got nothing to worry about.

KlepticGrooves

The Iron Man movies are pretty tame. I don't really see anything wrong with taking a 3 year old child to see Iron Man. Just make sure that he can sit still and stay quiet during the movie, because few things are more annoying than going to the movies and having to listen to other peoples' kids cry and whine.

MrGeezer

Nah man, better you expose him to explain it to him than another random person just exposing him. I plan to show my kid porn at 13 and give him the run down on that. Simply because I rather he find out about it from me.

Espada12

[QUOTE="Espada12"]

Nah man, better you expose him to explain it to him than another random person just exposing him. I plan to show my kid porn at 13 and give him the run down on that. Simply because I rather he find out about it from me.

needled24-7

Probably for the best :P

True he isn't into everything that I am in to and he does enjoy things I do, but I don't want to come off as seeming like I only do my thing and I always ignore him. We always play with his toys and play some Wii games and go outside and play baseball. We watch all of his kid movies and do everything he wants to do. I hope I did not come off that way it is just an occasionally thing that happens every now and then. He does know what guns are and he was in daycare for 3 years so there was a lot of older kids he was playing with too. He is still a kid and we enjoy playing together but sometimes he wants to see those movies cause of the commercials that come on during the kids shows we watch so they are trying to make little kids want to watch these movies like Iron Man 2.CyleM

Not exactly something I would do... but okay. :P

I don't really think a 3 year old is going to understand Iron Man anyway so I don't know why you are taking him.

I don't think it is horrible to expose your kids to this kind of stuff but I think 3 is a little too young. Also keep in mind that it doesn't really matter if you think it's appropriate it matters if other people think it's appropriate. If you get a reputation as the crazy parent who lets his kid play violent games and watch gory/mature movies every other parent is going to keep their kid away from yours. It's also possible that this kind of stuff will desensitize your kid to violence and bad language and this would make him an outcast amongst young peers as well. Like it or not their is a stigma associated with showing young kids (especially age 3) this kind of stuff and you should be aware of it if you plan on hurting your kid's life.

EDIT: I also find it really weird when you say your son is "into the same stuff" as you. He is 3 years old and anything he is "into" is a direct result of you. He does not have the mental capacity or the resources to go out and gain interests unique to yours. You shape his mind.

[QUOTE="CyleM"]True he isn't into everything that I am in to and he does enjoy things I do, but I don't want to come off as seeming like I only do my thing and I always ignore him. We always play with his toys and play some Wii games and go outside and play baseball. We watch all of his kid movies and do everything he wants to do. I hope I did not come off that way it is just an occasionally thing that happens every now and then. He does know what guns are and he was in daycare for 3 years so there was a lot of older kids he was playing with too. He is still a kid and we enjoy playing together but sometimes he wants to see those movies cause of the commercials that come on during the kids shows we watch so they are trying to make little kids want to watch these movies like Iron Man 2.XilePrincess

I know numerous three years olds who have been introduced to extremely grotesque films, they can't really comprehend what is going on, you'll be fine.solidfish30

I just don't see the benefit.

I know numerous three years olds who have been introduced to extremely grotesque films, they can't really comprehend what is going on, you'll be fine.solidfish30

[QUOTE="solidfish30"]I know numerous three years olds who have been introduced to extremely grotesque films, they can't really comprehend what is going on, you'll be fine.WheresKinggiAt

I just don't see the benefit.

You should probably wait till he's seven or eight before you start letting him watch PG-13 movies. Besides, at age three, I'm not even sure if he can understand them.

[QUOTE="WheresKinggiAt"]

[QUOTE="solidfish30"]I know numerous three years olds who have been introduced to extremely grotesque films, they can't really comprehend what is going on, you'll be fine.solidfish30

I just don't see the benefit.

I think it's hypocritical that so many gamers complain about how so many "Mature" games have so many restrictions because of "stupid parents" who buy things like GTA for their 6 year-old, and yet plenty seem to think what you're doing is fine. On that note, I think 3 years is much too young to raise on such things, but it's your child. At the least you are explaining it to him, but at such a young impressionable age, you can't really foresee how that will affect the child.homegirl2180

This entire sentence confuses me.. what restrictions are you referring to?

I'm not really sure how to say this because in my head I don't really think there is anything wrong with it but to other people it might be. Well as most of you know I am 24 and have two kids, my son is 3 and my daughter is less than a month old. Anyways my son is into everything that I am in to and it is really cool but the thing is some of the thing I do isn't the best for a kid his age. For example I will sometimes play games around him where I am killing people and I know it's bad for him to see the "blood" but he knows that it is the bad guy and he must be stopped. Also he watches a lot of movies that I watch and the example I am going to give here is Iron Man. We both saw Iron Man 1 at our house and he loved it but asked the questions about the blood and stuff so I just had to tell him the truth about it, well now Iron Man 2 is coming out and he really wants to see as do I so I do plan on taking him to the movie. The real thing I guess I am kinda worried about is when other people see me with a 3 year old watching a movie that I am sure has violence in it and also I am hoping it does not corrupt his mind and make him psycho when he gets older.

Yes I know this sounds kinda dumb cause when I was growing up I watched Terminator 2 at like age 6 and played Mortal Kombat around age 8 and I turned out fine, as least I think so lol. But I know with the different times things are different around the world and sometimes I worry if I am leading him down the road of being a messed up person in the head when he gets older. I really don't think he will be as long as I am always there for him and try not to push him to far.

So I guess the question is in your opinion do you think I am doing a bad job being a parent? Thanks for your responses.

CyleM

You know instead of playing games in front of your kid, you could be a good father and let him PLAY WITH YOU. Get a game for kids, such as lego batman or something simple and interact with your kid instead of playing something violent in front of him...

You know instead of playing games in front of your kid, you could be a good father and let him PLAY WITH YOU. Get a game for kids, such as lego batman or something simple and interact with your kid instead of playing something violent in front of him...

hckydude1103

[QUOTE="homegirl2180"]I think it's hypocritical that so many gamers complain about how so many "Mature" games have so many restrictions because of "stupid parents" who buy things like GTA for their 6 year-old, and yet plenty seem to think what you're doing is fine. On that note, I think 3 years is much too young to raise on such things, but it's your child. At the least you are explaining it to him, but at such a young impressionable age, you can't really foresee how that will affect the child.Espada12

This entire sentence confuses me.. what restrictions are you referring to?

[QUOTE="Espada12"]

[QUOTE="homegirl2180"]I think it's hypocritical that so many gamers complain about how so many "Mature" games have so many restrictions because of "stupid parents" who buy things like GTA for their 6 year-old, and yet plenty seem to think what you're doing is fine. On that note, I think 3 years is much too young to raise on such things, but it's your child. At the least you are explaining it to him, but at such a young impressionable age, you can't really foresee how that will affect the child.homegirl2180

This entire sentence confuses me.. what restrictions are you referring to?

Oh, that's what you mean.

i watched LOTR when i was young. i turned out fine.

But seriously as long as its not to graphic and you tell him the difference between real life and imaginary entertainment I think it should be fine. I still wouldn't expose him to an excessive amount of it though.

kidsmelly

That's.....pretty bad. Yes, he will be exposed to it eventually, but at 4 years old a kid can't truly understand any of it. Just remember that if you do this, you have no right to ever complain about how the younger generations are full of desensitized idiots, because you'll likely be contributing one.

i watched LOTR when i was young. i turned out fine.

hiphopballer

Well 3 IS pretty young, I'd keep the violence to a strict limit until he's at least six. Iron man movies aren't that bad, however video games can be. About the saw movies, yeah, I agree NEVER let him watch those until he's 16. Those movies are brutal and way too horrible for a 3 year old. It's in good parenting to teach kids about things at a young age but when they see it everyday, it can turn into their nature because they're so use to seeing it.It's also good to take into consideration things like how easily your child is influenced and whether they are already violent or are beginning to turn violent.

And just because kids watch violent movies or videogames, doesn't mean they'll become psycho, I'm not sure if I'm a good example but I picked up my first game at 4, It was my father's and it was "road rash", a sexual themed racing game where you could run over the people on the sidewalk and I grew up with a stepfather who was a horror movie fanatic. My parents and I would\ watch horror movies every sunday night ever since I was 6. However I've never hit or got into fights with anyone, I've never had bad or violent thoughts, and I'm pretty sure I'm not psycho. :P :)

Just remember, everythings better in moderation and I'm sure everything will be fine.

My childhood consisted of me being dropped off at my grandmothers house who spoke zero English, while my parents worked. I watched programs likeJerry Springer (when it was just plain ridiculous), and some early versions of UFC. This was all before I started Kinder garden and I turned out just fine. As long as your child understands what reality and television is he will be all right. Otherwise he might choke slam your daughter through a table one day. (last part really happened, but it was 2 brothers)

[QUOTE="hiphopballer"]

i watched LOTR when i was young. i turned out fine.

aransom

Yea...LOTR was like 6 years ago. He must be 12 now.

I'm not really sure how to say this because in my head I don't really think there is anything wrong with it but to other people it might be. Well as most of you know I am 24 and have two kids, my son is 3 and my daughter is less than a month old. Anyways my son is into everything that I am in to and it is really cool but the thing is some of the thing I do isn't the best for a kid his age. For example I will sometimes play games around him where I am killing people and I know it's bad for him to see the "blood" but he knows that it is the bad guy and he must be stopped. Also he watches a lot of movies that I watch and the example I am going to give here is Iron Man. We both saw Iron Man 1 at our house and he loved it but asked the questions about the blood and stuff so I just had to tell him the truth about it, well now Iron Man 2 is coming out and he really wants to see as do I so I do plan on taking him to the movie. The real thing I guess I am kinda worried about is when other people see me with a 3 year old watching a movie that I am sure has violence in it and also I am hoping it does not corrupt his mind and make him psycho when he gets older.

Yes I know this sounds kinda dumb cause when I was growing up I watched Terminator 2 at like age 6 and played Mortal Kombat around age 8 and I turned out fine, as least I think so lol. But I know with the different times things are different around the world and sometimes I worry if I am leading him down the road of being a messed up person in the head when he gets older. I really don't think he will be as long as I am always there for him and try not to push him to far.

So I guess the question is in your opinion do you think I am doing a bad job being a parent? Thanks for your responses.

CyleM

Dude spending time and bonding with him is all the parenting he needs, as long as you teach him basic morals and to be a responsible honest person he'll be alright, Dont buy into all the crap they try to blame on movie and video game violence, just be there for your son and dont be afraid to smack him if he get out of line. Enjoy spending time together and dont do anything F-ed up around him like watch porn and do drugs and it should be ok. I used to play GTA4 with my son and watch some awesome movies together. and so far he's great. It doesnt hurt to tell him its just a game and you cant do that stuff in real life etc....and if hes scared of a game like resident evil or something then dont play that one around him. just be honest with your son and by all means keep playing and watching movies with him .... again there are exceptions its not like your gonna watch hostel and play manhunt with him...