living a lie.

so i've been thinking about a scenario in which you are in a long term relationship/marriage with someone. let's say you've already spent 20 happy years with your partner and have a couple of kids with when you realize you don't love them anymore. what would you do? would you keep that to yourself for the sake of saving your family? if so, wouldn't it be immoral to take their right of knowing such a vital thing away from someone who had shared their best years of life with you? if not, wouldn't it be selfish tp let a happy family fall apart and cause some serious possible traumas to your offsprings?

I would most likely wake up.

I would most likely wake up.

konvikt_17

so i've been thinking about a scenario in which you are in a long term relationship/marriage with someone. let's say you've already spent 20 happy years with your partner and have a couple of kids with when you realize you don't love them anymore. what would you do? would you keep that to yourself for the sake of saving your family? if so, wouldn't it be immoral to take their right of knowing such a vital thing away from someone who had shared their best years of life with you? if not, wouldn't it be selfish tp let a happy family fall apart and cause some serious possible traumas to your offsprings?

VaguelyTagged

This is more common in your throwaway buy a new one society.  This would never happen because i'm not stupid and wishy washy.  Read the bible.

I would try hard to fall in love with them again.

It'd probably be doable 'cause, y'know, it happened already *shrugs*

[QUOTE="VaguelyTagged"]

so i've been thinking about a scenario in which you are in a long term relationship/marriage with someone. let's say you've already spent 20 happy years with your partner and have a couple of kids with when you realize you don't love them anymore. what would you do? would you keep that to yourself for the sake of saving your family? if so, wouldn't it be immoral to take their right of knowing such a vital thing away from someone who had shared their best years of life with you? if not, wouldn't it be selfish tp let a happy family fall apart and cause some serious possible traumas to your offsprings?

This is more common in your throwaway buy a new one society.  This would never happen because i'm not stupid and wishy washy.  Read the bible.

:P

i would do my best to keep the family together. put on a happy face and all that.

nothing good comes from a broken family.

id keep the facade until the kids are grown up and on their own or old enough to understand and hopefully not be too negatively affected.

chances are, id still stay in the marriage. at least i have someone.

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

[QUOTE="VaguelyTagged"]

so i've been thinking about a scenario in which you are in a long term relationship/marriage with someone. let's say you've already spent 20 happy years with your partner and have a couple of kids with when you realize you don't love them anymore. what would you do? would you keep that to yourself for the sake of saving your family? if so, wouldn't it be immoral to take their right of knowing such a vital thing away from someone who had shared their best years of life with you? if not, wouldn't it be selfish tp let a happy family fall apart and cause some serious possible traumas to your offsprings?

ALovelyHorse

This is more common in your throwaway buy a new one society.  This would never happen because i'm not stupid and wishy washy.  Read the bible.

Not a TRUE CHRISTIAN marriage.

I would try hard to fall in love with them again.

It'd probably be doable 'cause, y'know, it happened already *shrugs*

MissLibrarian

QUOTE] Christian marriages fail too. Often because they are taught that premarital sex is wrong, so marry in haste and then realise they are incompatible at a fundamental (no pun intended) level.0rbs

[QUOTE="ALovelyHorse"][QUOTE="0rbs"]

 

This is more common in your throwaway buy a new one society.  This would never happen because i'm not stupid and wishy washy.  Read the bible.

0rbs

Not a TRUE CHRISTIAN marriage.

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

[QUOTE="ALovelyHorse"] Christian marriages fail too. Often because they are taught that premarital sex is wrong, so marry in haste and then realise they are incompatible at a fundamental (no pun intended) level.Riverwolf007

Not a TRUE CHRISTIAN marriage.

Sorry, we're not mormans.

Get a divorce. I'm not going to stick around with someone that doesn't make me happy.

Get a divorce. I'm not going to stick around with someone that doesn't make me happy.

Aljosa23

If you always think about yourself, you'll never be happy.

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

Get a divorce. I'm not going to stick around with someone that doesn't make me happy.

0rbs

If you always think about yourself, you'll never be happy.

pls just go away

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

Get a divorce. I'm not going to stick around with someone that doesn't make me happy.

Aljosa23

If you always think about yourself, you'll never be happy.

pls just go away

Marriage is about two people, if you're in it just for yourself, you shouldn't be in one at all, and you'll never make it. Find your faith.

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

 

If you always think about yourself, you'll never be happy.

0rbs

pls just go away

Marriage is about two people, if you're in it just for yourself, you shouldn't be in one at all, and you'll never make it. Find your faith.

Exactly, it's about two people. Therefore both people should be happy. If one the people aren't happy, then the marriage has failed. 

[QUOTE="VaguelyTagged"]

so i've been thinking about a scenario in which you are in a long term relationship/marriage with someone. let's say you've already spent 20 happy years with your partner and have a couple of kids with when you realize you don't love them anymore. what would you do? would you keep that to yourself for the sake of saving your family? if so, wouldn't it be immoral to take their right of knowing such a vital thing away from someone who had shared their best years of life with you? if not, wouldn't it be selfish tp let a happy family fall apart and cause some serious possible traumas to your offsprings?

This is more common in your throwaway buy a new one society.  This would never happen because i'm not stupid and wishy washy.  Read the bible.

Marriage is about two people, if you're in it just for yourself, you shouldn't be in one at all, and you'll never make it. Find your faith.

0rbs

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

Marriage is about two people, if you're in it just for yourself, you shouldn't be in one at all, and you'll never make it. Find your faith.

Aljosa23

It's only because you love yourself too much that you would be in that scenario.  God will show you a better way. Have faith child.

[QUOTE="ALovelyHorse"][QUOTE="0rbs"]

 

This is more common in your throwaway buy a new one society.  This would never happen because i'm not stupid and wishy washy.  Read the bible.

maheo30

Is that the truth!

This is more common in your throwaway buy a new one society.  This would never happen because i'm not stupid and wishy washy.  Read the bible.

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

Marriage is about two people, if you're in it just for yourself, you shouldn't be in one at all, and you'll never make it. Find your faith.

Aljosa23

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

Marriage is about two people, if you're in it just for yourself, you shouldn't be in one at all, and you'll never make it. Find your faith.

LJS9502_basic

To be young again and play the fool!

Kind of selfish dude......:PLJS9502_basic

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Kind of selfish dude......:PAljosa23

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Kind of selfish dude......:PAljosa23

Why not try couples conseling? 

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Kind of selfish dude......:PLJS9502_basic

People need to worry about themselves as well. The husband/wife can still find someone else and be happy. If you stay in an unhappy marriage you won't have any chance of finding someone who can make you happy. I personally would probably try to work it out first, but if that fails, I'm not going to stay in an unhappy marriage. 

Christian marriages fail because they aren't practicing their faith. maheo30

[QUOTE="maheo30"]Christian marriages fail because they aren't practicing their faith. ALovelyHorse

I disagree.

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Kind of selfish dude......:PLJS9502_basic

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"][QUOTE="Aljosa23"]Not particularly. The only thing that would make me hesitant would be the kids but even then if we've been married for 20 years our children are at least in their teens and they'd completely understand.

Tropictrain

People need to worry about themselves as well. The husband/wife can still find someone else and be happy. If you stay in an unhappy marriage you won't have any chance of finding someone who can make you happy. I personally would probably try to work it out first, but if that fails, I'm not going to stay in an unhappy marriage. 

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"][QUOTE="Aljosa23"]Not particularly. The only thing that would make me hesitant would be the kids but even then if we've been married for 20 years our children are at least in their teens and they'd completely understand.

Aljosa23

[QUOTE="ALovelyHorse"][QUOTE="maheo30"]Christian marriages fail because they aren't practicing their faith. 0rbs

I disagree.

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

[QUOTE="ALovelyHorse"] So Christian marriages are completely exempt from basic human realities? It's one thing to have your faith as a mutual bond (Which can be very strong) - but it doesn't change the fact that, being that we are fallible humans, sometimes we marry the wrong people. Sometimes people grow apart as they way they see the world changes. But pertaining to the topic - even that mutual journey of faith does not dissolve the fact that sometimes, people fall out of love with each other, no matter how strong their love for Christ is. Or are you pertaining to the missive of Christian divorce, which is only valid if a marriage contains adultery? Because technically, to the letter of the law, you are correct.ALovelyHorse

I disagree.

I don't like that either.

[QUOTE="Tropictrain"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"] Not sure how you can you say that when the genesis for leaving is your own interests.LJS9502_basic

People need to worry about themselves as well. The husband/wife can still find someone else and be happy. If you stay in an unhappy marriage you won't have any chance of finding someone who can make you happy. I personally would probably try to work it out first, but if that fails, I'm not going to stay in an unhappy marriage. 

People change as well. And if I don't like what the person has become then I may stop loving her. I haven't been married yet but I was in a five year relationship. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize that someone isn't the right person for you. 

Loveless to me denotes two people who have moved on from each other. In this case you're dealing with your own lack of love. Not necessarily that your partner does not still love you.LJS9502_basic

I don't like that either0rbs

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Loveless to me denotes two people who have moved on from each other. In this case you're dealing with your own lack of love. Not necessarily that your partner does not still love you.Aljosa23

If you both love god, you will not lose the connection.

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"][QUOTE="Tropictrain"]

People need to worry about themselves as well. The husband/wife can still find someone else and be happy. If you stay in an unhappy marriage you won't have any chance of finding someone who can make you happy. I personally would probably try to work it out first, but if that fails, I'm not going to stay in an unhappy marriage. 

Tropictrain

People change as well. And if I don't like what the person has become then I may stop loving her. I haven't been married yet but I was in a five year relationship. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize that someone isn't the right person for you. 

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Loveless to me denotes two people who have moved on from each other. In this case you're dealing with your own lack of love. Not necessarily that your partner does not still love you.0rbs

If you both love god, you will not lose the connection.

[QUOTE="0rbs"]I don't like that eitherALovelyHorse

And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.-Acts 20:32.

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]Fair enough but that still doesn't make much difference to me. There's still the whole element of honesty and it wouldn't be fair to her to be with someone who doesn't share the same feelings anymore.

Aljosa23

If you both love god, you will not lose the connection.

You're not ignoring me if you're responding, so good luck with that.  He'll never stop believing in YOU.

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Loveless to me denotes two people who have moved on from each other. In this case you're dealing with your own lack of love. Not necessarily that your partner does not still love you.Aljosa23

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]Loveless to me denotes two people who have moved on from each other. In this case you're dealing with your own lack of love. Not necessarily that your partner does not still love you.LJS9502_basic

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning,
and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. -Ecclesiastes 7:8

[QUOTE="ALovelyHorse"]

I don't like that either0rbs

And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.-Acts 20:32.

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

 

If you both love god, you will not lose the connection.

0rbs

You're not ignoring me if you're responding, so good luck with that.  He'll never stop believing in YOU.

I'm not sure you're going to find what you seek with anyone long term TBH. I'm not sure why you suddenly stop loving someone with no other "issue".LJS9502_basic

[QUOTE="0rbs"]

[QUOTE="ALovelyHorse"] So offer a counter argument.

ALovelyHorse

And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.-Acts 20:32.

Exactly.