MOST unusual joke i've heard

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Lev_91

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#1 Lev_91
Member since 2008 • 68 Posts

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

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Mr_Leonis

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#2 Mr_Leonis
Member since 2007 • 4615 Posts
Yet another thing that makes me question our Justice System.
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hockey73

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#3 hockey73
Member since 2005 • 8281 Posts
:lol: i actually found that amusing.
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Lev_91

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#4 Lev_91
Member since 2008 • 68 Posts
A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them.

When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign.

The man thought that was great.

A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the group were waving their hands around very wildly.

The bartender looked over and signed "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar.

The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, "If I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

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Lev_91

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#5 Lev_91
Member since 2008 • 68 Posts
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks."

He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.

He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house."
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Kuhu

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#6 Kuhu
Member since 2004 • 2845 Posts

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Lev_91

That actually made me laugh quite a bit

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csimonma

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#7 csimonma
Member since 2005 • 2820 Posts
A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them.

When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign.

The man thought that was great.

A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the group were waving their hands around very wildly.

The bartender looked over and signed "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar.

The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, "If I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

Lev_91

If i picture this in my head it is full of lulz

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ILK3R91

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#8 ILK3R91
Member since 2008 • 493 Posts
These jokes were lame, and i thought u got banned when u had that other Lev account, how did u create another 1, how did u get past the mods?
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-theCHUD-

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#9 -theCHUD-
Member since 2008 • 1648 Posts
i dont think thats a joke TC, it actually happened. why did you think that was a joke? its true man that actually happened
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hockey73

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#10 hockey73
Member since 2005 • 8281 Posts
These are probably some of the funniest, non-dirty jokes i've heard in a while. :lol:
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nofriekinlemons

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#11 nofriekinlemons
Member since 2008 • 1392 Posts
ha ha great jokes
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DJ-Lafleur

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#12 DJ-Lafleur
Member since 2007 • 35604 Posts
I had some chuckles. :P
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Lev_91

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#13 Lev_91
Member since 2008 • 68 Posts
wat u on about ilk3r? other account? right.....?
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ILK3R91

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#14 ILK3R91
Member since 2008 • 493 Posts

wat u on about ilk3r? other account? right.....?Lev_91

The one that got banned dumb****.

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N8A

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#15 N8A
Member since 2007 • 18602 Posts
thbe deaf singing made me laugh. bravo
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Lev_91

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#16 Lev_91
Member since 2008 • 68 Posts

wat the hell r u on about los**r?

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xid32

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#17 xid32
Member since 2005 • 1132 Posts

[QUOTE="Lev_91"]wat u on about ilk3r? other account? right.....?ILK3R91

The one that got banned dumb****.

Well SOMEBODY is on their period

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Premier1101

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#18 Premier1101
Member since 2008 • 13515 Posts

what did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

pm me for the answer... ;)

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Jazz_Fan

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#19 Jazz_Fan
Member since 2008 • 29516 Posts
they were kinda funny.
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super_mario_128

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#20 super_mario_128
Member since 2006 • 23884 Posts

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Lev_91

:lol: That's brilliant!