XXXXXX

Need help with a story.

Film-Guy · 2008-12-25 10:05:28

I am writing a vampire story that I am trying to make as interesting as possible. I'm sure that most of the good ideas have been done already, but that doesnt stop me from writing it anyway:P The basic story is about a man who runs a boarding school in England who takes care of several kids that are vampires. Their ages range from 10-18 and some that are even older. He starts out just being a caretaker for them while observing the vampire part of them and what it does. One day he finds out that he has a deadly disease that many people in England are starting to catch and he has a very short time left to live. He stops being a caretaker for the kids and instead starts experiment on them when he notices that they never age. He wants to try and cure his disease by infecting himself with the vampire one, but he also wants to not have the blood craving that they get. When a grounds keeper at the boarding school finds out about the experiments and how cruel they can be, he and 2 kids from the school rescue a few of the kids to take them to a place to get their vampire problem cured. The boarding school owner, who we will just call Issac for now, goes after them and to test the man taking the kids to be cured he infects some students from the school and sends them after them.The story will mostly focus on the relationship between the kids as they have to rely on each other and how they have to get their own blood somehow to stay alive, and Nathan's ever increasing Desperation to save the kids from harm. Nathan is desperate to help the kids because he lost his whole family in a accident, so seeing them come to harm pretty much destorys him. There are some important parts of the story below that I want you guys to look at and to tell me whether they sound like good ideas or not.1. Instead of being like normal vampires, these vampires only get their teeth during the day and they become invisible to the naked eye in sunlight Also at night they have no fangs, either that or during the day. Does that sound interesting, or should I not mess with the sunlight thing too much. If not, how would you change the sunlight and night thing to make the story interesting?2. The vampires have no special abilities or extra jump ability or strength. Is that good or should they have some kind of ability?3. Most of the characters are young kids and teens, but not in a crappy twilight way.4. Something really tramatic happens to one of the main characters, a young girl who is about 12, maybe 13 at max. Since Nathan hates to see bad things happen to the kids and one of the kids has a crush on the young girl, I was thinking that she should get badly injured and raped near the end. This drives Nathan to make a very quick decision based soley on revenge. Is rape a bit much, if so what would you have happen to her? Also, since Issac controls alot of the vampires, he is appaled when they rape the girl and he goes to nathan to apolgize. Nathan though is pretty much crazy with rage and he wants to kill him, problem is if he kills Issac he risks losing control of the vampires and if he keeps him alive he risks the others he takes care of being hurt more. So either way he is morally screwed.5. The story is going to be a dark comedy/drama.What do you think?

51 results
1
2

This topic is locked from further discussion.

Film-Guy

26778

Forum Posts

Wiki Points

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#51 Film-Guy

Member since 2007 • 26778 Posts

I can pretty much continue writing the story now, all I need is now is to write how sunlight and night affects them. Im thinking maybe I shouldnt chance the formula too much, but I do want the story to stand out in way and most vampire stories do the same thing with sunlight except the famous sparkling vampires from twilight.

16 years ago