OT I require advice (Girl related) hue

I've already bothered some friends with this topic enough so I might as well see if you guys can help me out.

So there is this girl I like and we've begun to get to know each other over the past few weeks. However, we don't have any classes and we're only in a club together which meets once a week so I'm left with sometimes being able to talk to her at the end of the day for maybe 10 minutes, plus seeing her the hallway to say "Hi" every so often.

Due to that, I decided to message her on Facebook and try to get to know her better. We've talked a lot actually and have gotten to know each other more, but the conversations have kinda dimmed down now. For example we'll be chatting and I'll end up asking questions which have her respond but not have a follow up question. So it kinda ends up being me just asking her a ton of stuff.

My question is, how should I continue to message her? I don't want to spam and interrogate her and I also don't want to irritate her with my messaging.

Ask her out.

Yup. Stop being a wuss and just tell her you're going to pick her up after school.

Just ask her if she wants to go to a movie or something.

I was considering that, but some people were saying that's a bad idea because you cant really talk in a movie. Which is a valid point, but a movie seems like an easy option.

You're thinking too much about it just ask her out. If she says yes then you enjoy the time together and try to make a move. If she rejects you, get over it and move on. Don't act like some lost puppy.

You could go to the movies, and go eat something afterwards, and because you have just watched a movie together you could talk about that.

Can you not ask her if she wants to do something sometime?

You can talk before, after, and during a movie. Typically there is a place nearby to sit and talk, have a bite to eat, etc. Don't take the conversations dimming down personally, it happens and you'll appreciate that. Definitely touch her shoulder.

I agree with this. Movies are crap dates if you don't really know the person.

Would going to a school football game be a decent idea too? I feel like it could go one of two ways with it being either really good or really bad.

Also I have to think of a movie she would like too that we could go see. Hmmm.

Yeah this is good advice TC.

Sounds like a fun date to me. Doesn't hurt to ask her if she'd be interested in that.

Probably overthinking it. Anything you can do with another person and have a good time is a good idea. If you guys don't have similar interests then it wasn't going to work out anyway.

I probably am overthinking, I will admit that. And we actually do share a lot of common interests surprisingly. I just wish I could talk to her more but I'm limited on options and time which is probably my biggest obstacle right now.

I also forgot to ask, what if she doesn't give me a straight answer if I ask her out to something? Like if she says, "Maybe" or "She doesnt know yet". Its not a straight yes or no so I have no idea on what to say following a response like that if she gives one like that.

You're over thinking things again lol. Anyways, if she keeps giving those kind of answers, she's probably not interested, and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

This. And only this....

tell her you're gay, then she's naturally wants to be your best friend, whereby you later confess to her you're even more confused by your sexuality because of your feelings for her, whereby she'll really love you because her ego has been boosted by the thought of being so wonderful she turned a gay man straight

Why do I feel like this idea actually could possibly work in a situation for someone...

If you are in a theater, do not talk when the film starts. It is a rude thing to do when there are other people in it who paid to enjoy a film just like you.

An activity for a date is a good idea. Do something you can enjoy and talk about at the same time. If it goes well, you will both have good memories of that event together like a theme park or if you are charismatic, take her around town.

Believe me, I know how that is and I wont do it, but a movie may be my best option actually. I might ask her to see one this weekend if things continue to go well. Anyone know any good movies out to see?

Sounds like a plot to a comedy staring Paul Rudd or Owen Wilson, or something.

You're making this harder than it seems.

You win her back by being confident and not cocky.

"Let me know when you you've decided, I'll try to make myself available when you are." Probably along those lines. Gotta have the right tone and gestures.

Just approach her in a way you think she'd be comfortable with.

seems a lot simpler than the DENNIS System...

actually that's kind of already the plot to Three To Tango

Just ask her out man. Seriously, it's the next step you just have to take. And movies are fine for first dates, as long as you are talkative on the way there and back. If you're worried about it, grab a bite to eat before or after. It seems hard but you'll be fine once you are actually there.

I think it's a good idea because it's a place you're both comfortable in and your friends will be there.

As far as all these guys telling you to ask her out, I dont think thats a good idea. She isnt responding to you because she knows she has you and shes become bored. Think about it, if a girl liked you and kept bothering you but you didnt really like her back chances are you'd respond to be nice and kinda hoped she'd go away by not asking more. If I were you i'd just pull out and leave her alone, she will begin to wonder where her attention went. In the club you see her in, give her the cold shoulder once or twice or let her see you talking with other girls and enjoying it. Girls by nature work on the concept of pre-selection, if she see's you with other females, naturally it will mean to her that you have something to attract them and then she will be more interested. Girls also want what they cant have, by acting like you dont want her she will think you no longer want her and it will in turn make her want you more.

If you ask her to hang out you risk rejection, just make yourself the prize by not caring. It drives em nuts.

I'd listen to him. It seems counter intuitive but it works!

I wish you'd replied to this earlier.

I already asked her to a movie and she apparently is already going to one with another friend. She had seen one with her friend this past weekend and they plan on going to another this weekend. Here's the problem though, her friend may be a guy who likes her. If they went last weekend together as just the 2 of them, or plan on going as just the 2 of them, then I may be hitting a major problem. I don't know if they went with other people or plan on it, but either way going to a movie with one other person is usually not a good sign especially when they're opposite sexes.

I thankfully didn't make the whole asking her thing too awkward so I think we're still on good grounds, but until then I'm kinda stuck. I don't know her exact feelings for the guy and I don't know the whole context of it all fully, but its still putting up red flags for me.

I may just go with the flow on this for now until I can get a better grasp of it all.

Any suggestions on what to do from here everyone?

Acquire a large sum of money, purchase a large manor, throw lavish parties, and hope she will wander in.

It's so funny how complicated guys make asking a chick out when we're younger. You get older and at some point (for me it was freshman year in college), you realize, "Oh. I really just ask her and they almost always say yes."

Just ask her. Worst thing that can happen is she says no. Fact: There are tons of hot girls/women on the planet. Not a big deal.

Never ask women out you can't let them use their mind or the out come might no be to your liking.

What you do is you tell her she's going to go on a date with you.

after you both watch the movie , you can discuss about the movie with her. do you like the movie sort of questions.

do not pick a late night movie or you will have to take her home right away without getting a conversation with her.

This isn't great advice. It sounds like she's already hanging out with a guy, so giving her the cold shoulder won't lure her in, it'll only makes her choice much easier to make - she'll obviously just go with the guy who is asking her out and actually displaying interest in her.

Anyway, relationships are only as stupidly complicated as you make them out to be. You can sit around playing mindgames for weeks hoping that she doesn't get the wrong impression and risking the chance of her going out with someone else...or you can just casually ask her out. If she wants to spend time with you, she'll say yes, and you'll spend those weeks of silliness getting to know each other instead

That's a fantastic idea old sport.

You're probably right. I think I'm gonna ride this out until next week and see if she's still doing stuff with this other guy. If not, i'll possibly see if she is interested in going to a movie then. If she's still doing stuff with this other guy, well, I have no idea at the moment what i'll do. I don't want to give up on her yet. There may be a ton of other girls out there, but she seems different. And I'm probably the millionth guy to say that, but its true, she isn't like other girls I've met, she's different but in a good way.

This really. A dinner then movie, then taking her home is a good standard. Maybe fit a walk in a local park in somehow. Also, it is fall so going to a apple orchard would be a fun date. Go out, grab a bite to eat, walk through a corn maze and what not, buy some pumpkins, carve them, and watch a halloween and/or horror themed movie.

Just take the plunge man.

i wanted to say if she is not responding to you on facebook that she is not interested. but you already asked her out and she turned you down. i know you dont want to hear this but i would move on at this point if i were you. you will always know when a girl is interested in you, they will come to you you wont have to come to them.

also as someone else pointed out the advice about talking to other girls in front of her is bad advice. this will do nothing but make her think you are not interested in her and that you don't care about her.

Had something like this happen to me, years ago. I just told the girl whenever she had time to just call me. Long story short, I gave up as she was "busy with family" and always used this excuse. Kinda got the feeling she wasn't interested in me or going out on a date.

I'm considering moving on now at this point. I'm gonna give it another week like I said before and kinda scope out what could change etc, but I'm starting to work myself into not being as interested in her as I was before.

However, I still want to be friends with her so that shouldn't be too hard to do especially since we have Model UN and have to work together occasionally.

This really rustles my jimmies though. I felt pretty confident about it all and then these other people come out of nowhere and kinda shift my chances.

When you like a girl, ask them on a date. Do not, I repeat, do not ask if they want to "hang out." And don't waste time thinking about it either or some other dude might swoop in and ask her first. Use the word "date" specifically if you have to. The idea here is to make it clear to her that you don't want to just be her friend which is exactly what "hang out" implies. You can literally say "Hey would you like to go on a date with me?" or "I'd like to take you on a date." I usually only ask women out once these days, and don't waste any time or energy dwelling on any single one if they say no or make an excuse. It's not worth beating yourself up over. There will be another girl that you feel is different from the rest. Trust me. If they give me some excuse, I just tell them, "you know how to get ahold of me if you ever change your mind" or something like that.

All this said, I recall when I was just like you, over analyzing everything. Thinking what if, what if, what if. You sound like you might be in High School? Yeah just get more comfortable asking girls out and not caring when they say "no."

you mangina. if you want a woman to respect you, you need to demand respect.

You dont ask when the date is, you say... "hey woman, im taking you to a movie, be ready on thursday"

this is sick, men, learn to be men

@destroyerman455: grow some balls man. who cares about facebook.dont give her a week or a day. chicks love confidence, so get some and man up

Captain Levi wouldn't be having this problem

That's because everyone he loves is dead.

...Too soon?