Post Funny Jokes!!!!

Bob:Hey Bob I hate to tell you this but I just saw your wife at the hotel and she is cheating with someone else.

Joe:Oh sheesh realy?

Bob: Yea, I'll take you so you can see for yourself.

They drive to the hotel and look thought the window.

Bob: You see there is your wife with another man.

Joe looks and turns at Bob

Joe: Sheesh, don't be so stupid. You had me worried for a while.

Bob: I don't understand isn't that your wife with another man?

Joe: No she is with the same one.

I heard it in spanish but it should still be funny I hope.

Terrorist:"knock knock"

Bob:"Who's there?"

Terrorist:"Me, I kill you..!"

You have to watch the video withJeff Dunham, hilarious!

What do you call a smart blond?

A Golden Retriever.

The setting is a kindergarten classroom. During the previous day, the class took a field trip to a farm. The teacher asks the kids what sounds they heard on the farm. One kid says,"Oink!" Another kid says,"Moo!" A third kid says,"Get off that f****** tractor!"

James Bond who has just lost his job walks into a bar looking very upset.

Barman: Can I get you something, sir?
Bond: [doesn't answer but starts to stare at a pretty woman who was sitting at the table near him]
Barman: Sir?

Bond: [irritated] Yes, how about pesticide cocktail? I'd like some.
Barman: But....but..we don't have that.
Bond: Tell you what- 3 measures of turpentine, 1 of cyanide, half-a-measure of nitric acid and add a thin slice of lemon peel.
Barman: [makes a note] shaken or stirred?
Bond: Do I look like I give a damm?
Barman: I think you'll find that you do, that'll be 120 pounds sir.
Bond: ...

Bond: Beer please

what did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?........see you next month!

what did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?........see you next month!

KDIDDY78

what did hellan keller name her dog?....muauuughhh

Why couldn't Helen Keller get her drivers license?

Because she's a Woman.