Post Jokes Here!!!!

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MGShacker

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#1 MGShacker
Member since 2005 • 2375 Posts
ok il start.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
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blooddemon666

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#2 blooddemon666
Member since 2003 • 22587 Posts
ok il start.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.MGShacker
actually, you can do some changes in the registry so you can delete the recycle bin.
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Crimson_Sin

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#3 Crimson_Sin
Member since 2006 • 3004 Posts

What's better than a rose on a piano?

[spoiler] Tulips on your organ [/spoiler]

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AgentX24

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#5 AgentX24
Member since 2007 • 268 Posts
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
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kirbyfanatic

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#6 kirbyfanatic
Member since 2007 • 2685 Posts

Q: why did the camera cross the road?

 

A: It saw something flashinating! 

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-hotaru-

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#7 -hotaru-
Member since 2007 • 1380 Posts
What do you call a dog with no legs?

[spoiler] Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come! LAWLZ [/spoiler]
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MGShacker

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#8 MGShacker
Member since 2005 • 2375 Posts
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".AgentX24

i dont get it...
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MGShacker

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#9 MGShacker
Member since 2005 • 2375 Posts
what do u call a cow with no legs???



Ground Beef!
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AgentX24

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#10 AgentX24
Member since 2007 • 268 Posts

[QUOTE="AgentX24"]If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".MGShacker

i dont get it...

 

He would save the world in half the time if they listened to his instructions. 

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MGShacker

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#11 MGShacker
Member since 2005 • 2375 Posts

[QUOTE="MGShacker"][QUOTE="AgentX24"]If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".AgentX24


i dont get it...

 

He would save the world in half the time if they listened to his instructions. 



haha i get it... doyle screwed up last episode
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lemonfreshpanda

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#12 lemonfreshpanda
Member since 2007 • 1611 Posts

Knock-Knock

Who's There?

Go **** Yourself

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AgentX24

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#13 AgentX24
Member since 2007 • 268 Posts
[QUOTE="AgentX24"]

[QUOTE="MGShacker"][QUOTE="AgentX24"]If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".MGShacker


i dont get it...

 

He would save the world in half the time if they listened to his instructions.



haha i get it... doyle screwed up last episode

 

Yeah, see, Prime example: Doyle. He didn't listen to Jack now they lost the weapons device thingy.

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Satanshelper

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#15 Satanshelper
Member since 2006 • 2812 Posts
Chuck Norris played a round of tennis against a wall. And won.
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Franklinstein

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#16 Franklinstein
Member since 2004 • 7017 Posts

What gets wetter as it dries?

Man... I'm terrible at jokes...

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CMJR

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#17 CMJR
Member since 2005 • 331 Posts
What's better than a rose on a piano?[spoiler] Tulips on your organ [/spoiler] Crimson_Sin

I dig it!

Here's mine.

--

A grade 2 teacher was teaching her class all about the senses, and that day they were learning about the sense of taste. First, she had all of the students blindfolded. Then she would take a different flavour of Lifesaver and put it in each of their mouths and see if they could guess what flavour it was.

She started with a red Lifesaver, placing one in each of their mouths, and all the students said, "Cherry!"

Then she tried a green Lifesaver, and all the students said, "Lime!"

Then she tried an orange Lifesaver, and all the students said, "Orange!"

The teacher started to think this was too easy, so she decided to give them the honey-flavoured Lifesaver next. The students tasted and tasted, but couldn't seem to figure it out. So the teacher figured she'd give them a hint, "This is the same as what your Mommy sometimes calls your Daddy..."

A little girl in the front row immediately wore a look of disgust, spit out her Lifesaver onto the floor, and yelled...

[spoiler] "They're a**holes!!" [/spoiler]
--
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mmogoon

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#18 mmogoon
Member since 2006 • 7311 Posts

What's better than a rose on a piano?

[spoiler] Tulips on your organ [/spoiler]

Crimson_Sin

:lol: 

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nintendo_ds_06

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#19 nintendo_ds_06
Member since 2006 • 2657 Posts

whats brown and sticky

 

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler]  a stick  [/spoiler]   :P

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o_sausage

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#21 o_sausage
Member since 2006 • 5919 Posts

Why is it so windy in Oklahoma?

[spoiler]   Because Texas sucks and Tulsa blows  (if you don't get it spell Tulsa backwards) [/spoiler]

 

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deactivated-612079a2c3358

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#22 deactivated-612079a2c3358
Member since 2004 • 1957 Posts

Knock Knock

 

Come in. 

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lone_wolf911

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#23 lone_wolf911
Member since 2005 • 6347 Posts

What do you call an asian walking a dog?

A vegatarian

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kirbyfanatic

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#24 kirbyfanatic
Member since 2007 • 2685 Posts
[QUOTE="Crimson_Sin"]What's better than a rose on a piano?[spoiler] Tulips on your organ [/spoiler] CMJR

I dig it!

Here's mine.

--

A grade 2 teacher was teaching her class all about the senses, and that day they were learning about the sense of taste. First, she had all of the students blindfolded. Then she would take a different flavour of Lifesaver and put it in each of their mouths and see if they could guess what flavour it was.

She started with a red Lifesaver, placing one in each of their mouths, and all the students said, "Cherry!"

Then she tried a green Lifesaver, and all the students said, "Lime!"

Then she tried an orange Lifesaver, and all the students said, "Orange!"

The teacher started to think this was too easy, so she decided to give them the honey-flavoured Lifesaver next. The students tasted and tasted, but couldn't seem to figure it out. So the teacher figured she'd give them a hint, "This is the same as what your Mommy sometimes calls your Daddy..."

A little girl in the front row immediately wore a look of disgust, spit out her Lifesaver onto the floor, and yelled...

[spoiler] "They're a**holes!!" [/spoiler]
--

thats a good one:lol:
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MGShacker

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#25 MGShacker
Member since 2005 • 2375 Posts

Chuck Norris played a round of tennis against a wall. And won.Satanshelper

 

hahaha

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postulio14

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#26 postulio14
Member since 2007 • 729 Posts

How many unicorns does it take to put in a lightbulb?!

 

 

 

8! 

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portej

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#27 portej
Member since 2004 • 645 Posts

What do you call a Mexican baby?

 

A paragraph, because he isn't an essay yet.

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Guiltfeeder566

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#28 Guiltfeeder566
Member since 2005 • 10068 Posts

What do you call a dog with no legs?

[spoiler] Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come! LAWLZ [/spoiler] -hotaru-

heh, i loled

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therazn

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#29 therazn
Member since 2003 • 3123 Posts
I dont get the tulips on the organ joke.
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portej

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#30 portej
Member since 2004 • 645 Posts

I dont get the tulips on the organ joke.therazn

tulips, two lips   Need I say more...?

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BEAN_LARD_MULCH

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#31 BEAN_LARD_MULCH
Member since 2006 • 4720 Posts

How can you tell if a blonde has used a computer?

[spoiler] Theres White-out on the screen. [/spoiler]

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PeterTimpa

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#32 PeterTimpa
Member since 2005 • 2509 Posts
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

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portej

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#33 portej
Member since 2004 • 645 Posts

How can you tell if a blonde has used a computer?

[spoiler] Theres White-out on the screen. [/spoiler]

BEAN_LARD_MULCH

お前 ハーフ ?

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needled24-7

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#34 needled24-7
Member since 2007 • 15902 Posts

What gets wetter as it dries?

Man... I'm terrible at jokes...

Franklinstein
A towel, right?
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postulio14

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#35 postulio14
Member since 2007 • 729 Posts

What do you call a Mexican baby?

 

A paragraph, because he isn't an essay yet.

portej

Haha, I don't know why, but I found that really funny. 

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IronManRhino

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#36 IronManRhino
Member since 2005 • 2135 Posts

Chuck Norris sells his urine as a beverage, better known as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris stared into the sun and it went blind. 

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StarFoxCOM

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#37 StarFoxCOM
Member since 2006 • 5605 Posts
Chuck Norris played a round of tennis against a wall. And won.Satanshelper
Well it's not impossible if you break a hole in the wall any way heres mine
A man walks into the bar he orders a beer and just to be friendly the Bartender asks whats your IQ he replys 135 so him and the Bartender talk about rocket science and the scenice behind the Hiroshima atom bomb
the next day a person walks in orders a beer and the bartender asks whats you IQ he says 100 so the bartender talks about sports, and they talk about there jobs
the next day some one walks in orders a beer and the bartender asks "whats your IQ?" he replys 50 so the bartender ansewers hmmmm...... i guess your voting for Hilary Clinton this year eh.
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thusaha

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#38 thusaha
Member since 2007 • 14495 Posts

What's better than a rose on a piano?

[spoiler] Tulips on your organ [/spoiler]

Crimson_Sin
:lol:
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Devouring_One

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#39 Devouring_One
Member since 2004 • 32312 Posts
[QUOTE="Crimson_Sin"]What's better than a rose on a piano?[spoiler] Tulips on your organ [/spoiler] CMJR

I dig it!

Here's mine.

--

A grade 2 teacher was teaching her class all about the senses, and that day they were learning about the sense of taste. First, she had all of the students blindfolded. Then she would take a different flavour of Lifesaver and put it in each of their mouths and see if they could guess what flavour it was.

She started with a red Lifesaver, placing one in each of their mouths, and all the students said, "Cherry!"

Then she tried a green Lifesaver, and all the students said, "Lime!"

Then she tried an orange Lifesaver, and all the students said, "Orange!"

The teacher started to think this was too easy, so she decided to give them the honey-flavoured Lifesaver next. The students tasted and tasted, but couldn't seem to figure it out. So the teacher figured she'd give them a hint, "This is the same as what your Mommy sometimes calls your Daddy..."

A little girl in the front row immediately wore a look of disgust, spit out her Lifesaver onto the floor, and yelled...

[spoiler] "They're a**holes!!" [/spoiler]
--

 

Reminds me of the dear one. But I dont want ot say it. Might get banned.