Problem: shyness

I'm a very shy guy, and I'm lonely since no girls like a shy guy. A guy suggests me to say hello to 10 strangers I see everyday, I tried that but it didn't work. You have any techniques/tips to overcome shyness ?

A friend of mine once said to me that he's also shy sometimes. But I think his shyness is not as serious. I feel especially nervous when I'm at registers at supermarkets/fast food restaurants. I still emember a cashier laughed at me and said that I'm anxious.

Seems like this thread is making people shy. :P

Just make an effort to talk to people you don't know. Like make some small talk with a cashier the next time you go to the store. Perhaps even try to get a retail/restaurant job that requires you to talk to people or even do some community service. The point is the more go outside your comfort zone, the easier it will be to break out of your shyness shell.

You might just think you're shy. I thought I was shy for a wile, and then I just tried being sociable, and ba-da-bing worked like a charm. Just tell you're self you don't want to be shy, and try to be sociable, It worked for me.

How did that technique not work, did you not say hello?Wolls

I did say hello to strangers.

get drunk before going out.

If you are of age, I recommend drinking to overcome shyness. If you do it in moderation, you'll lose your inhibitions without being a drunken jackass. It is a fine line to walk, but it certainly helps me with social anxieties.rragnaar

Don't overthink things and just talk to people.

Just be polite.

People would love you for that, even if they don't want to date you.

[QUOTE="Wolls"]How did that technique not work, did you not say hello?Zensword

I did say hello to strangers.

If you are of age, I recommend drinking to overcome shyness. If you do it in moderation, you'll lose your inhibitions without being a drunken jackass. It is a fine line to walk, but it certainly helps me with social anxieties.rragnaar

I tried beer, wine and smoke(I quit smoking but still drink wine occasionally) but I'm still nervous whenever I go to public places.

I'm very shy and not exactly talkative.

But what i found out that helped was to just talk to everyone you see, you might make mistakes e.t.c half the time people don't even notice anyway. Even if you do make a mistake just laugh about it and carry on.

I work in a shop so was very shy before i joined, but because I HAD to talk to customers I slowly got better. Now I smile at random people, happily talk to co-workers with ease. Even the beautiful ladys while others stumble. Just don't try too hard if they don't wanna talk then don't bother as the conversation will just end up you making all the effort.

Also walk with your back straight, as if you are proud of who you are.

Hope this helps.

I'd like to say also don't become to ambitious and put too much emphasis on trying to be social when going out, it'll just make it seem more awkard when you say hello etc, just be casual and if you find a good opportunity to greet yourself then do it and see where it leads.shadowkiller11

This as well.

[QUOTE="rragnaar"]If you are of age, I recommend drinking to overcome shyness. If you do it in moderation, you'll lose your inhibitions without being a drunken jackass. It is a fine line to walk, but it certainly helps me with social anxieties.Zensword

I tried beer, wine and smoke(I quit smoking but still drink wine occasionally) but I'm still nervous whenever I go to public places.

[QUOTE="Zensword"]

[QUOTE="rragnaar"]If you are of age, I recommend drinking to overcome shyness. If you do it in moderation, you'll lose your inhibitions without being a drunken jackass. It is a fine line to walk, but it certainly helps me with social anxieties.VaguelyTagged

I tried beer, wine and smoke(I quit smoking but still drink wine occasionally) but I'm still nervous whenever I go to public places.

Oh I tried cognac (hennessy, Martell, Remy Martin ...), whisky (Johnnie waker Black label), tequilla and sake.

Well, no girl likes a guy with no confidence but that doesnt necessarily mean that shy = no confidence. The trouble with being shy is that you never put yourself in a position to meet people.

the only thing that truly got me over my shyness was my job. I deal with customers for a good chunk of the day, or at least talk to people and have to speak my mind.

Get a job in retail or something. The first couple months will be tough, but once you iron out how to talk to people, it's pretty easy.

Well, no girl likes a guy with no confidence but that doesnt necessarily mean that shy = no confidence. The trouble with being shy is that you never put yourself in a position to meet people.

sonicare

the only thing that truly got me over my shyness was my job. I deal with customers for a good chunk of the day, or at least talk to people and have to speak my mind.

Get a job in retail or something. The first couple months will be tough, but once you iron out how to talk to people, it's pretty easy.

mrbojangles25

Well, no girl likes a guy with no confidence but that doesnt necessarily mean that shy = no confidence. The trouble with being shy is that you never put yourself in a position to meet people.

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"]

the only thing that truly got me over my shyness was my job. I deal with customers for a good chunk of the day, or at least talk to people and have to speak my mind.

Get a job in retail or something. The first couple months will be tough, but once you iron out how to talk to people, it's pretty easy.

jackrocks123

yeah I still have problems with second-tier friends (more liek acquaintences, people I should know better), but as far as striking up a conversation with anyone I wish, I have no problems. Sometimes I find myself starting a conversation with some random person on the street, and that never would have happened three years ago :P

Well, no girl likes a guy with no confidence but that doesnt necessarily mean that shy = no confidence. The trouble with being shy is that you never put yourself in a position to meet people.

[QUOTE="jackrocks123"][QUOTE="mrbojangles25"]

the only thing that truly got me over my shyness was my job. I deal with customers for a good chunk of the day, or at least talk to people and have to speak my mind.

Get a job in retail or something. The first couple months will be tough, but once you iron out how to talk to people, it's pretty easy.

mrbojangles25

yeah I still have problems with second-tier friends (more liek acquaintences, people I should know better), but as far as striking up a conversation with anyone I wish, I have no problems. Sometimes I find myself starting a conversation with some random person on the street, and that never would have happened three years ago :P

Introvertedness is not a problem. Not everyones an extrovert nor do they need to be. Theres nothing wrong with you TC!!Capitan_Kid

I actually have the same problem but I have learned to deal with it a bit more than I used to be able to. I just still can't get over that little bump in the road that keeps me from talking to people I don't know. Also sometimes I still get a bit anxious around a lot of people.

I'm a very shy guy, and I'm lonely since no girls like a shy guy. A guy suggests me to say hello to 10 strangers I see everyday, I tried that but it didn't work. You have any techniques/tips to overcome shyness ?

A friend of mine once said to me that he's also shy sometimes. But I think his shyness is not as serious. I feel especially nervous when I'm at registers at supermarkets/fast food restaurants. I still emember a cashier laughed at me and said that I'm anxious.

Zensword

Well, don't just say hi to people, talk to them and start conversations, doesn't matter what.

This will give you social experience, and will make u more confortable when you want to talk to girls.

Well, don't just say hi to people, talk to them and start conversations, doesn't matter what.

This will give you social experience, and will make u more confortable when you want to talk to girls.

CaveJohnson1

I'm shy. A bit of a loner. Prefer not being around people, I enjoy my own company.

If you are of age, I recommend drinking to overcome shyness. If you do it in moderation, you'll lose your inhibitions without being a drunken jackass. It is a fine line to walk, but it certainly helps me with social anxieties.rragnaar

You just have to talk to people. Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.

I use to be pretty shy but then over a year ago I got a job as a sales associate and was forced to not be shy. Really was for the better.

For those bread and butter encounters, make the transaction go smoothly by planning all your actions. Imagine the scenario in terms of number of steps needed, allowed phrases, eyebrow position, the moment you will remove your wallet etc. Execute a simple routine or program. This can be built up into more complex interactions as you get better. But i'm afraid you wont overcome your shyness for real this way, even for mental acrobats

If you dont value yourself, others will never value you. If you go in talking to someone thinking your a nuisance, then youll come off as one, from your tone to body language.

Blah

Try talking to a councillor and then them thinking you're like shot up on heroin or something. I just hate being analyzed in one on one conversations, it annoys the hell out of me. I know my social anxiety is a huge problem which stems from being alone for long periods of times, usually by choice. I still manage to maintain a relationship though and some past friendships before it became a major issue for me.

You can work on the problem at least. I was in a area for 2 weeks, I won't specify where but after I left I was probably at the highest I've ever been in terms of not feeling shy. I was around people constantly 10 hours a day, socializing and it did wonders for me. Really being put on the spot and feeling uncomfortable constantly day after day is the fastest way to get rid of it, or at least loosen it up a bit. The feeling doesn't ever completely go away though, at least for me.

Most people are at least a bit shy though, it shouldn't be confused with actually having a real problem however.

Some book I read said worrying is a major problem in confidence. Always anxious about the future, like "will my presentation go right" "will this guy think I'm dumb if I do this" ecetera is a major proble. Of course we need to look at what future could hold for us to an extent but it's the dwelling on it that is the problem.

He used an example like in In soccer interviews where he regularly heard the interviewesr say "do you think you're going to win the tournament?" or "how far do you think you'll make it?" and so many of the players would say "we just want to take it one match at a time". That could hold true to talking to people, don't worry about your orverarching belief that your a shy person, just take it one person at a time, one situation at a time and worry less about being shy the next time you talk to someone because worrying get's you no where, quit dwelling on the future so much.

There's a reason alcohol is called liquid courage.

But seriously, talking to 10 random people every day sounds like a good idea.

Your just over thinking..

Keep it simple and mellow.