Should I bother with online dating?

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foxhound_fox

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#51 foxhound_fox
Member since 2005 • 98532 Posts

How you found each other says alot about personality.... I also have something else to say that goes completely against what you just said about feeling towards each other, but it'd probably be best if I just dont say that....GTA_dude

I hate to be an ass and pull out this card but... are you dating anyone right now? Have you dated at all? Why are you so quick to judge other people and how they meet? The internet is a fabulous resource to put people who normally wouldn't be able to get in touch with each other, in touch with each other.

Had I not used eharmony, I would never have met my girlfriend. She is the same age as me yet is three years behind me in university. We'd never have shared the same cIasses since we are in different faculties and would only have ever seen each other in passing between buildings... which on a campus of 20,000+ students is a rare occurrence. eharmony put us in touch with each other based on our compatibility... we had an instant connection and are now smitten with each other. Before meeting her, every woman I've ever been interested in has never been able to reciprocate my feelings... now I've met a woman I have trouble keeping up with when it comes to reciprocation.

I'd always ever scoffed at those eharmony commercials... now (despite still being early in the relationship) feel like we're one of those success stories they play on the commercials.

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foxhound_fox

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#52 foxhound_fox
Member since 2005 • 98532 Posts

Well I kind of meant it in the form that I would try other ways before I end up on a dating site. WhiteSnake5000

*shrugs*

Its your time, you can do with it what you like. I spent a good portion of my adult life trying "other methods" and only came back disappointed and depressed. All of three months on eharmony and I've found not only a woman I find extraordinarily attractive emotionally and physically, but she feels the same way about me.

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escapeoftheape

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#53 escapeoftheape
Member since 2007 • 1576 Posts
go to a party, get wasted, start dating whoever you wake up with. its the only way.
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GTA_dude

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#54 GTA_dude
Member since 2004 • 18358 Posts

[QUOTE="GTA_dude"][QUOTE="WhiteSnake5000"]It's not about how you find the person. It's about how you feel about the person, and how the person feels about you. I think that foxhound_fox well deserves his, despite that he found her through a dating site. Who cares? He's happy, she's happy. What difference does it make? WhiteSnake5000
How you found each other says alot about personality.... I also have something else to say that goes completely against what you just said about feeling towards each other, but it'd probably be best if I just dont say that....

So, let's say this is your personality. You feel hopeless at times, and you have no luck, and no matter how much you try in person, you fail. Then you find someone online, and this person is someone you really like, and they like you back. What the hell is wrong with that?

If you fail, then they are not the one. Once you find the right girl, you wont fail, she'll be after you, and you'll be after her. People dont just find the right girl the first time, or with the first couple girls they ask out, and if you just give up that easily, then you dont really seem to be ready for a relationship anyway. And if you have a hopeless attitude, girls will read that off of you, and try to stay away from you, so you'd be repelling girls yourself with your attitude, thus, its your fault your having no luck, which wouldn't really make it luck. Just have more confidence in yourself, cause thats what girls are really attracted too. And the harder you work to find someone, the better it'll be. Kinda like the situation of someone just offering you a million dollars, you take it without working for it, then once you have it it just doesn't seem that great anymore, cause you didn't really earn it. Its like its not even yours. Anyone could have been given the money, theres nothing special about you.

And yah, no one take offense by this, but usually, they arn't really 100% who you really want to be with, you just make them seem that way because they are like your last hope. And same usually goes for the other person, your not exactly who they wanted to be with, but she opened your message first, and you were willing to be with them, so you'll do. Sure, it seems fine, At First.

And no, I've never dated someone online, or someone I've met online, but I do know a girl who has, several times, and every time turned out to be a very bad idea. She was just too stupid to learn from her mistakes. So I guess I haven't had first hand experience with this, but close enough....

And if my sentences dont make sense as you read them, its like 2:20 in the morning over here, and I'm tired, so dont expect everything here to make sense. But if you really think about what I'm saying, it's all true, and you'll understand. If you dont understand, then go ahead and try online matchmaking and then see if you know what I'm talking about. Eh, maybe things will be good, I'm not saying judge your actions by what I'm saying, I'm just justifying my opinion on dating websites.

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WhiteSnake5000

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#55 WhiteSnake5000
Member since 2005 • 12454 Posts
Alright, but in a world of nearly infinite possibilities as far as relationships go, it all depends, you know that? "People dont just find the right girl the first time" Which people? You? I know plenty of people who have found one person and have been with them ever since. Just because you make bad choices in who you date, doesn't mean everyone does... Also on a dating site, you are taking as big of a risk as you are in person. Why else are there so many failed relationships not related to online dating? What you said is completely subjective, in other words it all depends, and thus you made no argument what so ever. If I really think about what you said, it's possible, but it is not a definite truth. There is no definite truth as far as these things go.
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GTA_dude

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#56 GTA_dude
Member since 2004 • 18358 Posts

[QUOTE="GTA_dude"]How you found each other says alot about personality.... I also have something else to say that goes completely against what you just said about feeling towards each other, but it'd probably be best if I just dont say that....foxhound_fox


I hate to be an ass and pull out this card but... are you dating anyone right now? Have you dated at all? Why are you so quick to judge other people and how they meet? The internet is a fabulous resource to put people who normally wouldn't be able to get in touch with each other, in touch with each other.

Had I not used eharmony, I would never have met my girlfriend. She is the same age as me yet is three years behind me in university. We'd never have shared the same cIasses since we are in different faculties and would only have ever seen each other in passing between buildings... which on a campus of 20,000+ students is a rare occurrence. eharmony put us in touch with each other based on our compatibility... we had an instant connection and are now smitten with each other. Before meeting her, every woman I've ever been interested in has never been able to reciprocate my feelings... now I've met a woman I have trouble keeping up with when it comes to reciprocation.

I'd always ever scoffed at those eharmony commercials... now (despite still being early in the relationship) feel like we're one of those success stories they play on the commercials.

I guess no one read where I said, "do what you want, I'm not giving up on the old school way of meeting people"?

I justify why I wouldn't do it, so you try to get me to change my mind? And no, right now I'm not dating anyone, because I dont really want to. I'm friends with alot of girls, and I could jump into a relationship right now if I wanted to, I just dont care to be in one at the moment. I have too much going on in my life as it is, I dont need anything else to have to pay attention too. And yeah, of course I've dated before, I'm 20 years old, I've been through alot. And thats great, all the best to you

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GTA_dude

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#57 GTA_dude
Member since 2004 • 18358 Posts
[QUOTE="WhiteSnake5000"]Alright, but in a world of nearly infinite possibilities as far as relationships go, it all depends, you know that? "People dont just find the right girl the first time" Which people? You? I know plenty of people who have found one person and have been with them ever since. Just because you make bad choices in who you date, doesn't mean everyone does... Also on a dating site, you are taking as big of a risk as you are in person. Why else are there so many failed relationships not related to online dating? What you said is completely subjective, in other words it all depends, and thus you made no argument what so ever. If I really think about what you said, it's possible, but it is not a definite truth. There is no definite truth as far as these things go.

I guess i should have been more clear and said "Everyone doesn't just find the right person the first time", but I thought you'd understand that this isn't a perfect world. You try, you fail, you move on, you try again, its life. And who said I made a bad choice in the girls I date? Cause I dont think any of my choices were bad. So are you saying there arn't any failed relationships related to online dating? And who says I'm making an argument? First post I said I wouldn't do online matchmaking, you asked a question, and I am answering the questions you are asking me. I dont care if you think its a good idea, doesn't affect me what you do, so go ahead (This is like the 3rd or 4th times I've said that). But why is it because I dont think its a good idea, you guys are trying to get me to change my mind or something? and trying to pursue an argument?
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WhiteSnake5000

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#58 WhiteSnake5000
Member since 2005 • 12454 Posts
[QUOTE="GTA_dude"][QUOTE="WhiteSnake5000"]Alright, but in a world of nearly infinite possibilities as far as relationships go, it all depends, you know that? "People dont just find the right girl the first time" Which people? You? I know plenty of people who have found one person and have been with them ever since. Just because you make bad choices in who you date, doesn't mean everyone does... Also on a dating site, you are taking as big of a risk as you are in person. Why else are there so many failed relationships not related to online dating? What you said is completely subjective, in other words it all depends, and thus you made no argument what so ever. If I really think about what you said, it's possible, but it is not a definite truth. There is no definite truth as far as these things go.

I guess i should have been more clear and said "Everyone doesn't just find the right person the first time", but I thought you'd understand that this isn't a perfect world. You try, you fail, you move on, you try again, its life. And who said I made a bad choice in the girls I date? Cause I dont think any of my choices were bad. So are you saying there arn't any failed relationships related to online dating? And who says I'm making an argument? First post I said I wouldn't do online matchmaking, you asked a question, and I am answering the questions you are asking me. I dont care if you think its a good idea, doesn't affect me what you do, so go ahead (This is like the 3rd or 4th times I've said that). But why is it because I dont think its a good idea, you guys are trying to get me to change my mind or something? and trying to pursue an argument?

When you said "If you cant put the effort into finding a spouse yourself, then do you really deserve her/him?", I was flabbergasted. How you find someone, doesn't equate to the true feeling behind the relationship... If you really love someone, what difference does it make how you found them? None. As for your question in bold. When I said " Also on a dating site, you are taking as big of a risk as you are in person. " I meant both, neither is immune to that, and I thought that was painfully obvious... oh well. And keep in mind, people who you meet in person, you still have a lot to learn about them as you do with the people you meet through dating sites. Sure it's a little less personal on the internet, but the internet is mainly just a gateway to that person, once you start dating the person and hanging out, as you would your way... The line becomes thinner and thinner. It's not so different.
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TheOddQuantum

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#59 TheOddQuantum
Member since 2008 • 2472 Posts

I have never tried online dating. I have heard stories of success and stories of failure so I don't know what to tell you. But you should give it a try.