Clearly there isn't much I can do to make my life any better. I'm 16 and throughout my life I haven't been "happy" very often at all and I recently realized that I probably won't be for a long, long time. School has always been frustrating and depressing for me. I have few friends due to my quiet, shy nature (which I've tried to change but have been unsuccessful), I find myself lonely most if not all of the time, and my learning disability makes it really hard for me to do well in school, despite my feeble and frustrating attempts to bring up my grades (and yes, ADD is a learning disability). My mother is like an insect, everytime she sees me depressed she literally yells at me for how stupid I look and for being lazy and sitting around doing nothing, not even watching TV or playing video games, even though she knows I'm depressed and tries to force me out of it. My dad is no different, all he does is yell at me for being so quiet and mocks the way I talk. My only two close friends barely pay attention to or spend time with me anymore and really only focus on each other, and always have some kind of excuse not to hang out, making me feel even lonlier. As ridiculous as this might sound, sometimes I feel like my only friends are the funny people I watch on TV like Will Smith or Seth Rogen or Steve Carrell. All of these problems of mine (even though they might not seem like a very big deal to some of you) have led me to want to end my life, and right now I'm trying to figure out a painless way to do so.
So if there's anyone to talk to out there, PLEASE feel free to respond, since there's really no one I can talk to in person. I don't care if you wish to give me some guidance or suggest some painless methods of suicide, but I really need someone to talk to, so please be my guest. I'll be waiting to hear from you.
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