Single men: how do you try to meet women?

I am a 28 year old man and and last time ive been in a relationship was 6 years ago in college. My EX (a Ph.D. student at the time) left and went back to China. She married a Chinese man.

I stop by at a smoothie shop and I try to talk to women who work there sometimes. Most of them are college students. Some of them look too young (like 18-20) but I sometimes try to talk to the ones who appear to be 21+. They are seniors/super seniors , grad school students and recent grads. so they are at least closer to my age.

I also try to talk to women at work who are not obese, disgusting, landwhales and/or married. There are 3 women who aren't landwhales who are not married. I try to talk to them from time to time as well. None seem interested, but its important to still try imo.

Thoughts? Do you guys try, if so how? Any tips for meeting women in real life?

I'm not into dating, but if I was, I would talk to girls at my church. It's good to try to meet girls that have similar interests or passions as you do. If you do that, you'll already have a mild connection with a girl, because you'll have something in common.

No. I wouldn't wanna date a modern woman anyway.

So what if a woman you liked approached you?

I would talk to her, but I would not go out with her. I have some mental issues that prevent me from holding down a relationship. I suffer from schizophrenia. It's not that I'm unwilling to date, it's that I'm not able to. If I was mentally healthy, it would be a lot different.

I can't imagine being in the dating world these days. Coming of age being constantly online and social media has pretty much fucked young adults' brains.

/rant

I don't. But it doesn't bother me as much because i smoke weed.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing!

How old are you?

At this point in my life I just wish they'd legalize prostitution and regulate it so it's safe for worker and customer.

I'm content being alone, and to be honest the idea of waking up to the same person day after day kind of depresses me, but I do miss an evening of companionship here and there.

Dating would solve that, but dating is also a nightmare hellscape of weird social rules and I am a 90's child and not really part of that world (and my fellow 90's kids that would make good partners tend to be married or as fucked up as I am).

From what I've read, you want to find a social group and activity group before dating. So if you have any hobbies you're into, or want to get into, go use some various apps to find some groups in your area.

With luck, you'll meet some good people in general and from there you just might meet a good lady friend and grow it from there.

I would say take it slow, don't come off desperate, be yourself, and let it grow naturally.

Alternatively, you are young enough you can still use the dating websites (is Tinder still a thing?). I feel like if I did it, a 40-year old man, I would be "old" by their standards but you're 28 in a college town it sounds like so really...you're kind of golden for it because I am assuming you have a job and stability and college chicks LOVE that demographic because they just want to date what they consider a "grown man" (but not like an old grown man, just like a late-20's early 30's grown man)

@bcroger3: I'm 35. Still a child at heart, though. 😀

Shouldn't have to try, and try-hards are typically a turn-off for a lot of people.

What I notice works for me:

1. I take care of myself and I'm health-conscious. Your nutrition, your hygiene, your physical and mental health are all very important to take care of. Mental health is an oversight to for some, yet one of the main reasons why some people stay single. If you're overall a cynical person and you spend every breath complaining about things: no one will like you. Taking care of yourself goes a long way and people notice.

2. I resonate with my authentic self more than anything these days, and I don't apologize for my demeanor. Authenticity has an added benefit of filtering out the wrong people, yet attract the right people that see me for who I am.

3. And this is an important one, but I engage in hobbies and activities that women are also interested in doing, and so any time I go to a community event for such activities, there's always going to be women I'm interacting with and striking a connection with. If you have an introverted hobby, can you make it more social? For example: maybe you love to read books, but do you ever go to book clubs?

Overall, I see a lot of men that struggle with dating yet their choice in hobbies are highly introverted and/or these hobbies end up being sausage parties with little to no room for women to even come around.

Anyways, don't do anything for the sake of getting a women (you're in try-hard territory again if you do that, and people notice). Take care of yourself, choose your hobbies and be authentic to yourself - all as means for personal fulfillment and these things make you happy regardless if you're dating a woman or not. People will naturally recognize your personal fulfilments and boost in confidence and the way you carry yourself, and people will will want to be around that energy.

I don't. In these woke times of ours they're everywhere.

You'll find them in shops and supermarkets, sports centres, beaches, pubs and clubs, adult education courses... They're even in the bleeding workplace these days. Uff. It's getting to the point where almost every second person out there's a woman.

Now, I'm a disgusting slob with the personal hygiene habits of a dung beetle, so I'm out of the picture, but I've noticed women kind of like guys who are at ease with themselves. You know, they smile, engage in small talk and don't look like they'll curl up into a ball and die if they're turned down over a suggestion.

Maybe that's the key... self confidence. If I was after some of that, I'd probably be talking to some of those women already out there, whether I was interested or not. You know, as practice. Maybe it's even easier to get that in if you aren't attracted to them. Just a smile or a little joke here and there, with anyone really. I guess that's the way confidence snowballs and eventually you really aren't devastated if someone says politely that they can't or whatever. I mean, it's always a compliment when someone finds you attractive, right?

Still, not for me. I'll go on scowling at strangers until the right woman sees through all the grime and asks me out, out of the blue. It's bound to happen sooner or later.