Not to be an ass, but I'm about to head to bed and I swear this is something you needed to hear. Guaranteed moderation awaits but I don't care, it needs to be said.
Ok reading your other thread and this one made me realize something. You are not depressed, not suicidal, not anything. Not anything at all. What you are is anti social, a special form of to where you don't have a desire nor need for human interaction. I have the same condition, god forbid I actually remember the name. But thats easily what you are, instead of a night on the town youd rather read a book. Instead of going see a movie, you'd surf the internet. Things like that, the need for socail interaction doesn't appeal to you at all. We are in the same boat here, I know what it's like you are not alone. It's not a bug like herpes it's more of a mindset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder aka OCD. I've made 1 or 2 friends my entire life, no **** But I lived with it, I was happy cause even when I was younger I knew feeling like this was not worth it.
You are a person that uses term "Love" loosely, you form bonds to easily and too deeply. You are what normal folk call "clingy", but your clingy to an extreme, tighter than a gorilla fist. It's crazy how fast you bonded with someone then get all depressed and suicidal when an internet date turns sour. Don't get me wrong, however you find love is your way. But to fall in love someone you've only talked to and sent pictures of your actual self when god forbid it could be any girl that you can google and find pics of sent you. You haven't even met her, there is nothing physical at all. I'd understand it more if you've met her already but you haven't and you are willing to kill yourself for a girl (from what you've said to us) has you wrapped around her finger and is toying with your emotions, seriously I could see how other guys have killed themselves over her. And you claim your parents hate you? Doubtful they don't like you, but they love you otherwise why in the hell haven't they given you up for adoption or kicked you out yet? Makes you think huh? Trust me, if they hated you you'd be long gone by now.
And onto your suicidal tendencies. Once again that is just terrible. You are willing to end your life for a girl that more than likely has no intrest with you at all? Come on guy! I honestly wanna be nice with you but I can't. Not only have met a supposed girl online, but you have fully commited yourself to a relationship thats more than likely not to happen. It's pathetic honestly, no other way to put it. My advice to you is this.
Turn off the computer, don't read any books, call in work say there is some family troubles and you need a week off. Talk a walk and think about this. About your entire life, and despite what you think it's worth living! Turn your life around, I know you can't be the only young person working at your job, strike up a conversation and make a friend it's a lot easier than you think and for the love of god don't mention this stuff, you'll end up losing a more than gaining them. And stop coming to gamespot for help on stuff like this, this is Gamespot, GAMESPOT of all places. The last thing we are worried about is someones suicide and when we are we turn it into a YTMND and turn the thread into a laughing stock.
And if all I said was not enough to help, here are somethings I can suggest to you.
Call this number.
1-800-SUICIDE
They do amazing things. Or can use this.
http://www.befrienders.org/helplines/helplines.asp?c2=Canada
A entire list of Suicide hotlines in Canada.
They will take this more seriously than any gamespotter will. And this is all I can do for you, if you wanna talk to me more personally PM with MSN, Aim, Xfire whatever your personal favorite chat client is details. I'll try and help you.
This is all I can do for you, I hope I helped in one form or another. My hands are tied at this point, the choice is up to you for where to go from here.
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