The Decline of Manliness in Contemporary Society

Has anyone else noticed a loss of manliness over the course of the past hundred years or so? It seems like men are slowly becoming more and more like women. Men are starting to think it's acceptable to show their emotions and be open, more like girls than men. Don't get me wrong, sometimes this can be a good thing and can lead to more successful relationships and to accepting other people for who they are. However it can also be done too much, to the point where it becomes pathetic, liberal, weak, and general failures of society. It can also lead to ruining relationships, since while many girls claim to want a really sensitive guy, they also want a strong man with a mysterious dark side to him. Please tell me that I'm not the only person here who noticed this. Also, what do you suggest we do about it? And last but not least, do you think that the loss of manliness is more good than bad or more bad than good?

MotokoKusanagi7

I don't have feelings cause feelings are g ay

Take a step into the Kingsman council estate not far from where I live, there you shall see people unscathed by the femanists and gay presenters of the BBC, when you got dead babies in the bin next door you got no time to wear pink.

This thread reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago regarding what happened to the "real men" in society.

Hallenbeck77

This thread reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago regarding what happened to the "real men" in society.

Hallenbeck77

I'd say your definition is perfect. The man you described in that blog is totally my father, he's only 5'7" and 130 lbs, but that doesn't stop him from being the manliest man I know.

Real men don't question the manliness of others.

Eh, I kinda know what TC is getting at. Kinda reminds me of THIS.

There is no really such thing as "manliness" it is more or less a term created by society to describe how society wants males to act and behave, but doesn't reflect the rightfulness or wrongfulness of them behaving like that.

since while many girls claim to want a really sensitive guy, MotokoKusanagi7

They call me metrosexual sometimes. I prefere lookind somewhat feminine than masculine. Because "Hunks" are ugly people. All muscular and soli,. yick.

They metrosexual look is just so much more stylish. And people are realzing this

DmadFearmonger

*coughs*

the metrosexual practice has nothing to do with a type of look that somehow reflects a contemporary or historical shift in social or cultural masculinity versus femininity standards. To practice metrosexual values, one would - viewn from a culturally conservative sense - have to practice certain manners that would traditionally be considered effeminate to the man, but the question of sex or gender signals emitted when viewn in relation to what might transpire from the actual practice itself - which is quintessential to the dynamic nature modeling the concept; the final product wouldn't have to have anything to do with a feminine style, of any kind, but merely the way of which a style is pursued and how cultural contemporaries perceive said pursuit

to the point where it becomes pathetic, liberal, weak, and general failures of society.

MotokoKusanagi7

No I dont see any problem.

The only thing that is "declining" are traditional gender stereotypes. And I am perfectly fine with it. In fact, I appreciate it.

I'm pretty sure I've disliked every "manly" guy I've ever met.

I see a lot of animosity about guys hitting the gym in this thread. That kind of shocks me. Mainly, because it takes a lot of discipline to get a "manly" body. Secondly, one doesn't have to overdo it to get in shape. Everything in moderation.

For example, I am fairly built, but only 170 lbs at 6'3''. I very much enjoy looking manly, and it took a lot of time and discipline to get there. But I would never be one of those dudes that has so much muscle it's disgusting.

I know that when I was 155 lbs (a year ago), I looked very girly. And it sucked. Nobody likes that. All in all I've put on about 25 lbs of muscle (and taken off some pudge, what little I had), and it was the best decision I've made in years. I would recommend it to anyone. Not just for women, but in general, more attractive people get more opportunities.

Case and point: Recently I've been interviewing for senior level positions, which is odd for someone of age 24 to do in my industry. But every job I interviewed for, I got an offer from the company. All but one used the rationalization "one of the reasons we really like you is because you are the type of developer we can market to our clients". Would I have been able to do that a year ago? Probably not. In shape people are associated with attractiveness and health.

I don't really know where I'm going with this anymore, but I think what I'm trying to say is, you canlook manly without looking ridiculous and giving up style.

"manliness" is usually put forward by the insecure.... We live in a society where gender roles are slowly disolving..sSubZerOo

I agree. I dont hate "manly things." I mean, I love Bruce Campbell, Clint Eastwood, and Duke Nukem, but guys who flee from anything that isnt "manly" are just insecure cowards. the kind of guys who are like

"that shirt is a little tight, which means its feminine, which means I cant wear it"

"oh.... classical music..... thats just gay"'

"guys cooking?? blasphemy I say!"

those guys are the real wusses

just going to step out there and say " Real men cook and do yard work" IMO if you cant do those two things youre not a man.surrealnumber5

agreed, especially on the cooking part.

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]just going to step out there and say " Real men cook and do yard work" IMO if you cant do those two things youre not a man.mrbojangles25

agreed, especially on the cooking part.

Real men make their own beer, amirite???

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]just going to step out there and say " Real men cook and do yard work" IMO if you cant do those two things youre not a man.mrbojangles25

agreed, especially on the cooking part.

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"]

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]just going to step out there and say " Real men cook and do yard work" IMO if you cant do those two things youre not a man.MgamerBD

agreed, especially on the cooking part.

* Note: a proper man toast does not need words.

[QUOTE="Hallenbeck77"]

This thread reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago regarding what happened to the "real men" in society.

surrealnumber5

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]

[QUOTE="Hallenbeck77"]

This thread reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago regarding what happened to the "real men" in society.

comp_atkins

[QUOTE="comp_atkins"]

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"] if it were not for the bundies none of the kids born in the 80's would have grown up to become men.

surrealnumber5

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]

[QUOTE="comp_atkins"] where can i get my t-shirt?

comp_atkins

simpsons Brazil or Australia? i am going with Brazil

surrealnumber5

I agree, every man needs a Brazilian.

[QUOTE="comp_atkins"]

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"] http://www.myteespot.com/NO-MAAM-Married-With-Children-T-shirt-p-7830.html

surrealnumber5

I don't know about manliness, but I do know that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is the best thing to happen to TV in years.

GabuEx

Has anyone else noticed a loss of manliness over the course of the past hundred years or so? It seems like men are slowly becoming more and more like women. Men are starting to think it's acceptable to show their emotions and be open, more like girls than men. Don't get me wrong, sometimes this can be a good thing and can lead to more successful relationships and to accepting other people for who they are. However it can also be done too much, to the point where it becomes pathetic, liberal, weak, and general failures of society. It can also lead to ruining relationships, since while many girls claim to want a really sensitive guy, they also want a strong man with a mysterious dark side to him. Please tell me that I'm not the only person here who noticed this. Also, what do you suggest we do about it? And last but not least, do you think that the loss of manliness is more good than bad or more bad than good?

MotokoKusanagi7

I'm glad someone brought this up. To answer your question, yes, it is a fact. It's been called the emasculation of man. It's been happening as a slow decline in masculinity since the 70's. Many men are listening to their grandmothers and mothers when they tell them to be nice and polite and sensitive amongst other things. Don't get me wrong, there is a difference between being masculine and being macho. Macho is a bad thing. It's trying to be overly aggressive and start problems and act tough and all of the other things that d-bags and a-holes do. Masculine is completely different.

Being masculine means being a man and not a boy. What I mean by this has several aspects. Taking care of your responsibilities and owning up to your faults, mistakes, and problems is another. Other factors also include not being overly sensitive when there is no call to be. Crying at a funeral or from a rough divorce or some other major issue is fine. But making a huge spectacle about it and crying over things that don't need to be cried over is just being efeminate. Being sensitive in the way girls are speaking of is being empathetic, sympathetic, and just being compassionate, not bearing your soul and crying and just bearing all when you have a bad day at work. Suck it up, we all have problems. Once again, I'm not saying be macho, just be a man and focus more on empathy while remaining strong.

When it comes to what women are attracted to, they want a masculine man to offset their feminine ways. They want a man, not another girlfriend. That means, no listening to all of their problems right away. Especially about some jerk she's seeing in hopes that you can "convince" her to want you. Attraction doesn't work that way. If you're in the "friend zone," almost every time, that's where you'll stay. I'm again not saying be a jerk or a-hole or d-bag. Just let her know that you don't want to talk about those kinds of things in a nice way and steer the conversation away from that danger zone. I know that many men think that you have to develop a friendship first and love later, but it just doesn't work that way in almost all cases. And for those that have seen that succeed, most likely you're seeing them act friendly, but there is an attraction based on the man being masculine and if you don't know what you're looking for, you may not see it and miss it. Being masculine also means not putting up when a woman flakes on you, blows you off, acts all **** or just gets to be like a baby. Those are feminine points. Most aren't actually just women being weird or crazy. They are testing you to see if you are in control of yourself and also with any form of relationship you may have. I'm not speaking of being domineering, but when I say control I'm stating that women don't want a man they can walk over or have to tell them what to do. They want a man that can take charge and that's another masculine point. Getting back to testing and when women do all of those things we all hate, the best ways to deal with this is, depending on how far along you are, you can either just quit talking to them altogether and move to the next girl, or if you've been involved, tell her how disappointed you are in her behavior. You can possibly joke about it and bust her balls about it, or if it's been going on or is something major, let her know that is just unacceptable. If she's worth it, she'll understand and change the behavior, if not, the true colors will come out and you have to move on. Knowing what you want and not putting up with b.s. are also masculine points.

So you see, a lot of these things don't mean macho or that you're coming across as some a-hole, it's something that women don't see enough of and men always wonder why they get either straight up rejected or things may be going pretty good and you may just even be in a relationship and all of a sudden she starts acting weird and/or acting more dominating. This is totally different from the woman I first met and started the relationship with. It's because she's getting tired of your efeminate behavior. Even guys that act masculine in the beginning don't realize that after they get into a relationship, they must continue that way forever. You can't get lazy and complacent. She will notice because women pick up on tone of voice and body language and behavior ten times better than men do. Yes, you read that right. They notice EVERYTHING, whether she says anything or not. A running checklist is occuring. If you begin to become lazy and deferring to her and acting overly sensitive, prepare for odd behavior, her becoming distant, and acting more dominating. She may even just leave. Either way, you are on your way out if you don't change it back to being masculine.

It's a huge deal these days and being metrosexual has not as much to do with it as that involves style and dress and appearance. Those things aren't the same thing as being masculine which is a state of mind, a set of behaviors, and just a way of life. It's internal and becomes external in the way you carry yourself, present yourself, and how you talk and walk and stand. There are many books you can get for more information. Hopefully some of you will get something from this. Others will just call me full of sh#$. Either you are one of the lucky ones to find a great relationship rather quickly, or you're having issues. It's just the way it is in these modern times. This isn't 1955. You can't just make money, be a "nice" guy and be polite and boom, you're with some hot girl at will. I'm not sure that even worked back then but it might've been more prevalent.

Oh and last point, when I said "nice" guy that is different from a good guy that is masculine. When people refer to "nice guys" they're talking about efeminate men. These are the type that buy gifts for women before you even need to, pay for everything, do everything she asks and/or wants or just about, worry about making her mad, and just basically letting her walk all over you whether you know it or not. A good guy is masculine and treats her right and with respect, but he does it in a way more befitting of a man and she will love him for it rather than leave him for a masculine man.

[QUOTE="GabuEx"]

[QUOTE="MgamerBD"]I know and it disgust me. I actually enjoy the view of being "manly". It is a strong view which I believe people these days need. I see nothing wrong with it at all. If you see something wrong with being chilvarious(when needed), head of the household, and strong enough to take the lead and protect your family. Then I strongly dislike you...a lot. You are weak to me.sonicare

Women are just as capable in the modern world of being strong and being heads of households. The days when physical strength dictated one's ability to provide for one's family are over.

nothing wrong with showing emotions but be a man about it! :P

While I do groom myself, I do agree that the Ryan Seacrest aka the "metrosexual" look has taken over American society in the past decade.

Either way I'll stay manly while everyone else does what they do. Honestly I could care less about how another man carries himself.

[QUOTE="GabuEx"]

I don't know about manliness, but I do know that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is the best thing to happen to TV in years.

Darthkaiser

You mean high hoof! :o

I don't know about manliness, but I do know that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is the best thing to happen to TV in years.

GabuEx

[spoiler] Mod, I am disappoint [/spoiler]

That said, Duke Nukem is my idol. Nothing but manliness in that guy.

Mod, I am disappoint

ChubbyGuy40

Hey, I can't help it if some people aren't comfortable enough in their masculinity to be able to watch that show... :( :P

[QUOTE="MotokoKusanagi7"]

Has anyone else noticed a loss of manliness over the course of the past hundred years or so? It seems like men are slowly becoming more and more like women. Men are starting to think it's acceptable to show their emotions and be open, more like girls than men. Don't get me wrong, sometimes this can be a good thing and can lead to more successful relationships and to accepting other people for who they are. However it can also be done too much, to the point where it becomes pathetic, liberal, weak, and general failures of society. It can also lead to ruining relationships, since while many girls claim to want a really sensitive guy, they also want a strong man with a mysterious dark side to him. Please tell me that I'm not the only person here who noticed this. Also, what do you suggest we do about it? And last but not least, do you think that the loss of manliness is more good than bad or more bad than good?

I'm glad someone brought this up. To answer your question, yes, it is a fact. It's been called the emasculation of man. It's been happening as a slow decline in masculinity since the 70's. Many men are listening to their grandmothers and mothers when they tell them to be nice and polite and sensitive amongst other things. Don't get me wrong, there is a difference between being masculine and being macho. Macho is a bad thing. It's trying to be overly aggressive and start problems and act tough and all of the other things that d-bags and a-holes do. Masculine is completely different.

Being masculine means being a man and not a boy. What I mean by this has several aspects. Taking care of your responsibilities and owning up to your faults, mistakes, and problems is another. Other factors also include not being overly sensitive when there is no call to be. Crying at a funeral or from a rough divorce or some other major issue is fine. But making a huge spectacle about it and crying over things that don't need to be cried over is just being efeminate. Being sensitive in the way girls are speaking of is being empathetic, sympathetic, and just being compassionate, not bearing your soul and crying and just bearing all when you have a bad day at work. Suck it up, we all have problems. Once again, I'm not saying be macho, just be a man and focus more on empathy while remaining strong.

When it comes to what women are attracted to, they want a masculine man to offset their feminine ways. They want a man, not another girlfriend. That means, no listening to all of their problems right away. Especially about some jerk she's seeing in hopes that you can "convince" her to want you. Attraction doesn't work that way. If you're in the "friend zone," almost every time, that's where you'll stay. I'm again not saying be a jerk or a-hole or d-bag. Just let her know that you don't want to talk about those kinds of things in a nice way and steer the conversation away from that danger zone. I know that many men think that you have to develop a friendship first and love later, but it just doesn't work that way in almost all cases. And for those that have seen that succeed, most likely you're seeing them act friendly, but there is an attraction based on the man being masculine and if you don't know what you're looking for, you may not see it and miss it. Being masculine also means not putting up when a woman flakes on you, blows you off, acts all **** or just gets to be like a baby. Those are feminine points. Most aren't actually just women being weird or crazy. They are testing you to see if you are in control of yourself and also with any form of relationship you may have. I'm not speaking of being domineering, but when I say control I'm stating that women don't want a man they can walk over or have to tell them what to do. They want a man that can take charge and that's another masculine point. Getting back to testing and when women do all of those things we all hate, the best ways to deal with this is, depending on how far along you are, you can either just quit talking to them altogether and move to the next girl, or if you've been involved, tell her how disappointed you are in her behavior. You can possibly joke about it and bust her balls about it, or if it's been going on or is something major, let her know that is just unacceptable. If she's worth it, she'll understand and change the behavior, if not, the true colors will come out and you have to move on. Knowing what you want and not putting up with b.s. are also masculine points.

So you see, a lot of these things don't mean macho or that you're coming across as some a-hole, it's something that women don't see enough of and men always wonder why they get either straight up rejected or things may be going pretty good and you may just even be in a relationship and all of a sudden she starts acting weird and/or acting more dominating. This is totally different from the woman I first met and started the relationship with. It's because she's getting tired of your efeminate behavior. Even guys that act masculine in the beginning don't realize that after they get into a relationship, they must continue that way forever. You can't get lazy and complacent. She will notice because women pick up on tone of voice and body language and behavior ten times better than men do. Yes, you read that right. They notice EVERYTHING, whether she says anything or not. A running checklist is occuring. If you begin to become lazy and deferring to her and acting overly sensitive, prepare for odd behavior, her becoming distant, and acting more dominating. She may even just leave. Either way, you are on your way out if you don't change it back to being masculine.

It's a huge deal these days and being metrosexual has not as much to do with it as that involves style and dress and appearance. Those things aren't the same thing as being masculine which is a state of mind, a set of behaviors, and just a way of life. It's internal and becomes external in the way you carry yourself, present yourself, and how you talk and walk and stand. There are many books you can get for more information. Hopefully some of you will get something from this. Others will just call me full of sh#$. Either you are one of the lucky ones to find a great relationship rather quickly, or you're having issues. It's just the way it is in these modern times. This isn't 1955. You can't just make money, be a "nice" guy and be polite and boom, you're with some hot girl at will. I'm not sure that even worked back then but it might've been more prevalent.

Oh and last point, when I said "nice" guy that is different from a good guy that is masculine. When people refer to "nice guys" they're talking about efeminate men. These are the type that buy gifts for women before you even need to, pay for everything, do everything she asks and/or wants or just about, worry about making her mad, and just basically letting her walk all over you whether you know it or not. A good guy is masculine and treats her right and with respect, but he does it in a way more befitting of a man and she will love him for it rather than leave him for a masculine man.

Your definition of a man is completely the same as mine. Overly macho men are ridiculous, but so are overly "sensitive" men. They key is to be understanding and sympathetic, not being a baby who cries everytime they have a bad day at work or because someone made fun of them. On3ShotOneKill

Frankly I would say the exact same thing about women, though. Nothing male-specific here.

How to be a man.

Eat protein and brocolli.

Work out your legs (thighs especially).

Think manly thoughts.

Eat healthy stuff (Meat is healthy for all you vegans out there).

Avoid soya products.

Don't shave your chest hair cause some Mens magazine says it.

Watch sport.

Do sports (it helps your competitive nature)

Watch 80's action flicks.

Change your cars tire.

Fix stuff around the house yourself.

Take off your shirt and head to the woods.

Kill animals with your bare fists in said woods.

Pee on things to make it clear it belongs to you.

Stop being a sissy.

Wear what ever clothes you want and not follow David Beckham's clothing style.

Grow a beard to see how thick it is.

Keep your hair short.

In your mind, there is no man who can beat you.

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]

[QUOTE="comp_atkins"] nice.. it'll go well with this one.

comp_atkins

[QUOTE="On3ShotOneKill"]Your definition of a man is completely the same as mine. Overly macho men are ridiculous, but so are overly "sensitive" men. They key is to be understanding and sympathetic, not being a baby who cries everytime they have a bad day at work or because someone made fun of them. GabuEx

Frankly I would say the exact same thing about women, though. Nothing male-specific here.

Agreed. I actually know a girl in college who cries over the most ridiculous things. I'm like: Really?

How to be a man. Eat protein and brocolli. Work out your legs (thighs especially) Think manly thoughts Eat healthy stuff (Meat is healthy for all you vegans out there), try to avoid soya products Don't shave your chest hair cause some Mens magazine says it Watch sport Do sports Watch 80's action flicks Change your cars tire Fix stuff around the house yourself Take off your shirt and head to the woods Kill animals with your bare fists Pee on things to make it clear it belongs to you Stop being a sissy Wear what ever clothes you want and not follow David Beckham's clothing style Grow a beard to see how thick it is keep your hair short In your mind, there is no man who can beat youm25105

just going to step out there and say " Real men cook and do yard work" IMO if you cant do those two things youre not a man.surrealnumber5

:P What about a handicapped man, he can't do yard work.

I think your "image" of manliness is just imagined. It has been a while since men have been out punching bears. Whilst woman are doing the luandry.

Maybe what you mean is the loss of the gentlemen, respectable maturity and acknowledgement of responsibility with men

"Manliness" is a meaningless concept that differs from culture to culture and from time to time. It used to be considered "manly" to dress young boys in dresses. Pink used to be the "masculine" color and blue the "feminine." Manliness isn't declining; it's changing. And there's nothing bad about it whatsoever.Theokhoth

Wonderful answer. I couldn't have said it better.

I think your "image" of manliness is just imagined. It has been a while since men have been out punching bears. Whilst woman are doing the luandry.

Maybe what you mean is the loss of the gentlemen, respectable maturity and acknowledgement of responsibility with men

I don't know if manliness is really declining. While it seems men may be getty more effeminate, I think many women are getting more manly.