The flat out worst novel you've ever read?

[QUOTE="GeneralMufinMan"]

Great **** Gatsby, god I hated that book.

Aljosa23

Someone gave me a copy of twilight before it got huge, and told me it was an awesome novel about vampires and wearwolves. Thinking it would be in the same vein as Underworld I dove right in. 200 pages later I wanted to burn the damn thing.

Someone gave me a copy of twilight before it got huge, and told me it was an awesome novel about vampires and wearwolves. Thinking it would be in the same vein as Underworld I dove right in. 200 pages later I wanted to burn the damn thing.

Guybrush_3

[QUOTE="helwa1988"]

50 shades of grey.overrated and poorly written.

PannicAtack

[QUOTE="Nuck81"]Great Expectations. I argue against the inclusion of this book in our curriculum meetings every year. Aljosa23

It took me a while to think of a book I didn't like, but Lord Jim takes the cake.

I don't care about your longitude/latitude coordinates, the direction of the air, speed of your boat, the slight undercurrent in the water, or that the sun is peeking through the hazy clouds on a day in which the temperature is precisely 72.35 degrees Fahrenheit. I just... don't... care.mattbbpl

[QUOTE="mattbbpl"]It took me a while to think of a book I didn't like, but Lord Jim takes the cake.

 

I don't care about your longitude/latitude coordinates, the direction of the air, speed of your boat, the slight undercurrent in the water, or that the sun is peeking through the hazy clouds on a day in which the temperature is precisely 72.35 degrees Fahrenheit. I just... don't... care.Makhaidos

I liked Heart of Darkness the second time I read it. (I thought it was terrible in high school. I gave it another shot after a few years of college on the recomendation of a friend and really enjoyed it)

[QUOTE="Makhaidos"][QUOTE="mattbbpl"]It took me a while to think of a book I didn't like, but Lord Jim takes the cake.

 

I don't care about your longitude/latitude coordinates, the direction of the air, speed of your boat, the slight undercurrent in the water, or that the sun is peeking through the hazy clouds on a day in which the temperature is precisely 72.35 degrees Fahrenheit. I just... don't... care.Guybrush_3

I liked Heart of Darkness the second time I read it. (I thought it was terrible in high school. I gave it another shot after a few years of college on the recomendation of a friend and really enjoyed it)

"Eldest," from the Inheritance Cycle. Really, really annoying.PannicAtack

This. I really loved "Eragon" but I can't even get through the first chapter on "Eldest".

Is it bad that I feel the need to explain before I say it? The second book in the Halo Trilogy written by William C. Dietz was atrocious. It was like he played 5 minutes of the game and then stopped and wrote it down, then 5 more minutes and stopped and wrote it down. Rinse and repeat. It was almost to the point you could use the novel as a strategy guide for the game as if you read it you knew exactly what was going to happen when playing the game, right down the the quantity and placement of the enemies. Anyway, so yeah... I feel kind bad mentioning a video game to novel as my choice but you since you asked.

[QUOTE="mattbbpl"]It took me a while to think of a book I didn't like, but Lord Jim takes the cake.

I don't care about your longitude/latitude coordinates, the direction of the air, speed of your boat, the slight undercurrent in the water, or that the sun is peeking through the hazy clouds on a day in which the temperature is precisely 72.35 degrees Fahrenheit. I just... don't... care.Makhaidos

[QUOTE="Makhaidos"][QUOTE="mattbbpl"]It took me a while to think of a book I didn't like, but Lord Jim takes the cake.

I don't care about your longitude/latitude coordinates, the direction of the air, speed of your boat, the slight undercurrent in the water, or that the sun is peeking through the hazy clouds on a day in which the temperature is precisely 72.35 degrees Fahrenheit. I just... don't... care.mattbbpl

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="GeneralMufinMan"]

Great **** Gatsby, god I hated that book.

PannicAtack

[QUOTE="PannicAtack"]"Eldest," from the Inheritance Cycle. Really, really annoying.Ricardomz

This. I really loved "Eragon" but I can't even get through the first chapter on "Eldest".

Oh god yeah. Eldest awful.

Couldn't say. If I'm not enthralled by a novel within the first 50 pages or so, I don't continue. Aint nobody got time fo that.

[QUOTE="Nuck81"]Great Expectations. I argue against the inclusion of this book in our curriculum meetings every year. Aljosa23

Do you not have adblock?

[QUOTE="Makhaidos"][QUOTE="mattbbpl"] I tried really, really hard to like it, too. I was really digging the classic literature scene once I got introduced to it in a meaningful way, but I knew I was in trouble when I opened the jacket and saw that the publisher had routed the man's journey across the sea based on the coordinates and speeds presented in the text.

 

The only good thing I can say about it is at least it prepared me for Jane Eyre.mattbbpl

[spoiler] That was the one where in the end the dude she was working for turned out to have a crazy wife living in the attic or some shit right? [/spoiler]

[QUOTE="mattbbpl"][QUOTE="Makhaidos"] See, Jane Eyre I LOVED. I read it in just a week. Conrad's stuff, though, I just can't seem to tackle.cain006

[spoiler] That was the one where in the end the dude she was working for turned out to have a crazy wife living in the attic or some shit right? [/spoiler]

Yeah, that was a big plot point that [spoiler] came to light at the alter, I believe. And then there was some thing about an unrequitted love triangle with her cousin, an inherited fortune, that dude going blind, and then a marriage (not necessarily in that order). [/spoiler] It all seemed like such a relatively pointless mess at the time I read it - there had to be more to it that I missed. I keep meaning to pick it up again, but my stomach turns whenever I gaze in it's direction.

The fact that it captures in the form of metaphor the stark, cynical pain of growing old and becoming an unwitting burden to your family?Makhaidos

[QUOTE="PannicAtack"]"Eldest," from the Inheritance Cycle. Really, really annoying.Ricardomz

This. I really loved "Eragon" but I can't even get through the first chapter on "Eldest".

[QUOTE="Ricardomz"]

[QUOTE="PannicAtack"]"Eldest," from the Inheritance Cycle. Really, really annoying.Guppy507

This. I really loved "Eragon" but I can't even get through the first chapter on "Eldest".

I've never read a flat-out "bad" novel, but the worst I've read was probably Forrest Gump. It's just so outlandish, which wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't trying to take itself seriously. The movie knew just what to take out, and there was quite a lot to take out.

[QUOTE="Ricardomz"]

[QUOTE="PannicAtack"]"Eldest," from the Inheritance Cycle. Really, really annoying.Guppy507

This. I really loved "Eragon" but I can't even get through the first chapter on "Eldest".

Eldest was terrible. The elves were massive unlikable mary sues, and the whole "oh you're instantly cured of your dehabilitation and given superpowers via this random, unexplained ritual" thing is completely pulled out of the author's ass. And then the author giving oh-so-deep treatises on religion and vegetarianism.PannicAtack

I only read books that I know I'll enjoy, I can't honestly remember reading a book that I hated.

Jane Eyre. 3/4 of the book is about a woman complaining about having 2 rich guys that love her, pay for all her needs/wants, and want to get married.

Although the Awakening was almost as bad. Its about an upper-middle class woman, who commits suicide because she is bored and blames society's role for rich white women for her boredom. But that was at least a faster read.

"Baudolino" by Umberto Eco

The only book i couldnt finish reading, read half of it and couldnt bear anymore, and i've read some really shitty books...

(But i LOVED "The Name of the Rose" written by him too)

Scarlet Letter

Jane Eyre. 3/4 of the book is about a woman complaining about having 2 rich guys that love her, pay for all her needs/wants, and want to get married.

Although the Awakening was almost as bad. Its about an upper-middle class woman, who commits suicide because she is bored and blames society's role for rich white women for her boredom. But that was at least a faster read.

Diablo-B

Jane Austen is a lot like that :P

For me, either Tale of Two Cities or Pride and Prejudice.

[QUOTE="Diablo-B"]

Jane Eyre. 3/4 of the book is about a woman complaining about having 2 rich guys that love her, pay for all her needs/wants, and want to get married.

Although the Awakening was almost as bad. Its about an upper-middle class woman, who commits suicide because she is bored and blames society's role for rich white women for her boredom. But that was at least a faster read.

applesxc47

Jane Austen is a lot like that :P

I've broken my answer down

I cant remember the worst book ive ever read but i think it was just because it was a coming of age story of a teenage girl. It basically dealt with all the problems a teenage girl goes through, even her freaking out when she got her first period. I dont know why, but i read the entire thing only to realize it was a terrible book. for a guy to read anyway.

The book i hated reading the most was The Long Walk by Stephen King. I just hated the plot, the story, the way people die and above all the way it ends.

and finally the most boring book i've ever read was A Song of Ice and Fire by, you know who wrote it. The Game of Thrones bug must have not bit me because i bought the books to read while on vacation and found most of them to be boring and repetitive. The only reason i finished them was because there was nothing else for me to do.

[QUOTE="applesxc47"]

[QUOTE="Diablo-B"]

Jane Eyre. 3/4 of the book is about a woman complaining about having 2 rich guys that love her, pay for all her needs/wants, and want to get married.

Although the Awakening was almost as bad. Its about an upper-middle class woman, who commits suicide because she is bored and blames society's role for rich white women for her boredom. But that was at least a faster read.

PannicAtack

Jane Austen is a lot like that :P

Goddamn it I mixed up my authors hahaha

[QUOTE="Guppy507"][QUOTE="Ricardomz"]

This. I really loved "Eragon" but I can't even get through the first chapter on "Eldest".

PannicAtack

Did someone say Mary Sues?!

[spoiler]

 

[/spoiler] Plot armor is the lamest thing ever. It's a shame that a lot of fantasy and science fiction authors (and background writers, in this spoiler's case - luckily most of his shit was retconned) tend to be so damn bad at crafting believable universes and ideas solely because they have to interject themself into some dumb, all-powerful character.

Did someone say Mary Sues?!
 Plot armor is the lamest thing ever. It's a shame that a lot of fantasy and science fiction authors (and background writers, in this spoiler's case - luckily most of his shit was retconned) tend to be so damn bad at crafting believable universes and ideas solely because they have to interject themself into some dumb, all-powerful character.

Saturos3091

[QUOTE="Saturos3091"]

Did someone say Mary Sues?!
 Plot armor is the lamest thing ever. It's a shame that a lot of fantasy and science fiction authors (and background writers, in this spoiler's case - luckily most of his shit was retconned) tend to be so damn bad at crafting believable universes and ideas solely because they have to interject themself into some dumb, all-powerful character.

cain006

[QUOTE="cain006"]

[QUOTE="Saturos3091"]

Did someone say Mary Sues?!
 Plot armor is the lamest thing ever. It's a shame that a lot of fantasy and science fiction authors (and background writers, in this spoiler's case - luckily most of his shit was retconned) tend to be so damn bad at crafting believable universes and ideas solely because they have to interject themself into some dumb, all-powerful character.

GamerForca

[QUOTE="GamerForca"][QUOTE="cain006"]You should check out the Malazan Empire books. Characters don't die that often but he just stops using some after books.

cain006