The Legendary YLYL: One for the OT_history books.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
And possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
She barely said good morning,
Let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
But the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
And didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
And somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
My secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
And by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
That at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
When Jane knocked on my door
And said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
And it is your Birthday,
What do you say we go out to lunch,
Just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
Where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
With a private table.
We had two martinis each
And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,

' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
For just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
After a couple of minutes,
She came out
Carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
By my wife,
My kids,
And dozens of my friends
And co-workers,
All singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.

So this guy was getting married,
and he was at the rehearsal dinner with family
All was going well, except the fiance's sister was making all kinds of flirty actions towards the guy

dinner ended, and his fiance's sister said she needed to stop by the house really quick
So the fiance asked the guy to drive her home.

He does, and he walks her into the house
She heads upstairs and the guy waits around,
but finally after 20 minutes he heads up, knocks on the door,
and his fiance's sister is laying on the bed, completely naked,
and beckons the guy over.

So the guy runs downstairs, bolts out the door...

...and his future in-laws are all outside, clapping and congratulating
him for his restraint. His fiance is so happy her future husband turned down the advances of her hot sister

Moral of the story?

Keep your condoms in your car

^Those were pretty good! :P:lol:

:oops:

Is this what the thread has been reduced to?...Fine. U_U

-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-Panties are not best thing on earth, but next to it.

-A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

-Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

-Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.

-I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

-If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

-Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

-Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

-If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between **** and syphilis.

-I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

-If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

-If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

-Money talks…but all mine ever says is good-bye.

-If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're gay.

-Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

-Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it…so I said "Implants?"

-The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

-I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

-By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

-You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

-God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

-I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

-Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

-We have all heard that "a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare". Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

My meager contribution

So far im still in

.

.

so much win

My meager contribution

windsquid9000

i just beat the third layton game today :D

^^That last frame made me lose. cybrcatter

Moar Layton!

[QUOTE="cybrcatter"]^^That last frame made me lose. mitu123

Moar Layton!

Head_of_games

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

since professor layton is one my favorite series of all time-I NEED MOAR :lol:

.

in the layton theme...

-snip-

so much win

villa4europe

The first post already made me lose...but the last frame of this just made me lose more. :lol:

All I got

I haven't posted many of these but here goes. Some of my favourite troll physics.

I haven't posted many of these but here goes. sOME OFy favourite troll physics.Dystopian-X

I was eating cheetos. DON"T JUDGE ME. u.U

Here are a few new ones...

Oh and one more... BEST PICKUP LINE EVER!

Dystopian-X

[QUOTE="Dystopian-X"]

Mogotoo

Bumples.

When you see it....cd_rom

Since this is still around:

Gah. Slow day.

I didn't even get this one at first, made me lulz once I realised it.

[QUOTE="Dystopian-X"]

Mogotoo

If enough weight is on a spring to compress it it won't uncompress unless some weight is removed.

The Son of Man




The Scream





Ivan the Terrible and his Son Ivan



Sister Alenushka Weeping about Brother Ivanushka

ATTENTION EVERYONE... We have a NEW INTERNET MEME IN THE MAKING

Say goodbye sad Keanu... Say Hello to REBELLIOUS REEVES

Someone photoshop!... Quick!

Might I make some suggestions for Rebellious Reeves?

^ please god someone use these pictures..lol

^ please god someone use these pictures..lol

VendettaRed07

Come on guys, we need some more funny crap, like really funny crap. I'll post some more old crap on my computer later..

[QUOTE="VendettaRed07"]

^ please god someone use these pictures..lol

GHlegend77

omg yay !

...the suspense is enormous

To try and keep this thread alive....

I loled... Snapple fact of the CENTURY

LOL dude those are AWESOME.. Rebellious Reeves meme has started here folks so if thing blows up well know who the founders were xD ..us!!

LOL dude those are AWESOME.. Rebellious Reeves meme has started here folks so if thing blows up well know who the founders were xD ..us!!

VendettaRed07