Having been a metal DJ/radio host/programmer for four years now, I figured I'd share with you some of the most hideous videos I've come across in my job. One of them isn't metal/rock, but was passed around the station quite a lot. The rest are obviously of the genre. Feel free to post your picks for worst video as well, so we can have all genres represented :P I'm well aware that 80s New Wave is sorely unrepresented here.
Some of these are pretty well known across the internet, but whatever. If you've never seen any of these, know that they are all actual bands/artists, none of them are jokes/skits/parodies.
Exhibit 1:
Brokencyde - Freaxxx
*warning, explicit language* Self-proclaimed "crunkcore." I'm all for mixing up genres but this should not be allowed to exist. It brings together all that's terrible in today's music scene (cheesy pop euro-synths, talentless 'crunk' rap and lyrical content, and awful scene screamo). Enjoy
Exhibit 2
rehdogg - Why Must I Cry
Quite possibly the worst rapper/singer out there? Quite possibly. My friend accurately described him as "singing with a mouth full of vaseline."
Exhibit 3:
Trollhorn - Bergtagna Tid
Many of you probably have heard of/know of folk metal. Crazy scandinavians fusing their nordic ancient heritage with metal music. This is what happens when that goes terribly, terribly wrong. Savour the low budget video and the ridiculous facial expressions. Enjoy the ridiculously drunken vocals. Wince as you listen to the awkward and struggling bass-line. Try and figure out why they keep showing that horn.
And then marvel at the fact that these guys are from Uruguay.....cuz you know, there were tons of vikings in Uruguay.
Exhibit 4:
Nocturnal Rites - Never Again
The first entry that's from a pretty good band. But this video is just terrible: German power metal cheese at it's best. The video starts out as the typical metal video: guy dying on an operating table, grainy blue tinged lighting...then the music kicks in and something so ridiculous happens that i literally spewed the water i was drinking when i first saw it. I won't ruin this happening for you, but it's near the beginning of the video.
Feel free to also enjoy the hilarious facial expressions while also pondering why the video's "temptress" looks more like a mom.
Exhibit 5
Dying Fetus - Kill Your Mother Rape Your Dog *warning explicit language*
Another pretty good band, that i admittedly enjoy from time to time. This however, is death metal poserdom at its worst. This is the sort of video that people who don't listen to death metal laugh and point at and say "how is this music." An absolute giggle. Why is there a guy with a skull and a baseball bat? A pathetic attempt at a story element perhaps?
Was this filmed on 20 bucks? Probably. What's with that guy at the beginning? And best of all, savour and laugh at the dumpster at the end. "Metal Only" indeed.
Last one
Helloween - I Want Out
You didn't think you'd escape without experiencing an 80s video did you? Ha! Here's one from cl(assic German power metal band Helloween, all of whose videos are hideous....though this one is particularly bad. The big hair, the homoerotic overtones, the flaming pink guitar, Some weird guy at the beginning whose never explained, and of course, the obligatory yet senseless moments of band members springing out of water. This is 80s cheese metal at its finest.
So, you guys got anything worse? Anything that should get a mention? postpost post :P
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