Unsure if I should break up with her.

I'll try and keep this as short as possible

I've been dating this girl for four months however we have been friends for years. We kind of had a movie like relationship in how it played out and was amazing to start with. However, recently, more and more problems keep coming up. We've been fighting almost all the time. I'm a very laid back guy and she's kind of hyper and outgoing. I love her to death, and she is insanely pretty, but there are some nagging issues I just don't know if I can ignore.

She's very full of herself. She has this attitude as if she knows she's hot and better than everyone else. She's extremely stubborn. I don't know if I've ever won an argument with her because she will never give any ground, and I feel like it always ends up being me who apologizes or gives in. She also needs tons of attention. Like..nonstop. Her exboyfriend apparently gushed over her and gave her thousands of compliments but I'm not that type of guy. I don't fawn over girls like that it's just not in my character. I do compliment her though. I even made a point to make sure I give her at least one every day. She never seems satisfied by it though. Lastly, she is very flirtatious. However, it's not always intentional... she just is very affectionate and often naive about her actions. She drank for the first time last month and has been going to quite a few parties since then, only one which i've been at with her. I know she flirts with other guys, and it makes me feel unwanted and disrespected. I don't flirt with other girls I feel like she could do the same, but I don't think she wants to put in the effort. It makes me uneasy and I feel as if I have to be that worried boyfriend who always keeps an eye out for her. I hate that. I've even talked to her about it, but I feel like it's kind of a hopeless cause.

It's hard to know what to do because she is an amazing girl, extremely funny, and my best friend. Right now I feel as if my mind is telling me to break up with her but my heart is saying no.

Sorry if this sounds stupid haha. I'm having a talk with her tomorrow, and it's basically to either try and keep it going or I'm just going to break it off.

P.S. She sits next to me in my college english class. Awwwwkward if I do break it off :P

Im my opinion, this is only the beginning of the horror...but if you are like me, you will continue on despite good advice from friends and family. With any luck things might work out, but its a difficult age and stage. I tend to trust my gut, but I ventured further and though the painting was on the wall, it hurts just the same. Good luck my friend. I don't regret it, but I surely don't enjoy it now that things are over.

Well mate i was in a very very similiar situation as you a year ago and mine didnt go to well cause i got all depressed about it not working and broke it off instead of talking to her about it i managed to get over it after 8months tho

I think u should try and spend more time with her, talk to her more and talk about your problems and be very confident and powerful like your in hcarge when you do it.

Other than that give it all your best for atleast another 2 weeks if it keeps failing try and ease out of it

Like another user said, the negatives outnumber the positives but if you really like her, then you can try. Make sure she's worth it though.

If you aint feelin' it anymore cut it loose.

if you have to question it, it isn't worth it.

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, and there are points when all we'll do is fight. He's laid back like you, and I'm always on edge and worrying. That is absolutely normal to have points where your personalities just clash and you butt heads for a while, it usually blows over fairly quickly. I don't think, however, that it's okay that she's full of herself or flirts with other guys. You should feel disrespected, that feeling is completely valid. If a girl really, really loves you, or even just really likes you, she won't go flirting with other people. She isn't naive about her actions, she just believes you are and thus she can get away with it. A girl who is flirty and not satisfied with the love you give her WILL stray, and it sounds like this one will probably do it while drinking and blame it on the alcohol. I would break up with her, personally. Disrespect like that is something I cannot tolerate. XilePrincess

Your guys' personalities seem to match us pretty well. Ultimately, I get the feeling she's kind of immature and needs time to grow. We're both freshmen in college so it's not as if we're long term committed, but our relationship is/was serious.

I feel the same way about the flirting. She's just given me too many reasons to be uneasy and it's really wearing on me. I don't think she would ever cheat on me, but I know that she has lead some guys on, whether intentional or not.

I think I will address my concerns again to her tomorrow and see what comes of it. Kind of an ultimatum. If she wants to try and salvage it then I'll give it a few more weeks but otherwise I'll just kill it before it drags out any longer.

Thanks guys/gals :)

if you have to question it, it isn't worth it.

Boostinsane

Flip a coin

Hmm. I obviously don't know the whole scenario here or either of you as a person, but based on what you described it sounds like you might be better off breaking up with her. Since you said you've been friends with her for a while before you started dating, there is still always the possibility of going back to being "just friends," which might be good because you can still hang out with her and experience the things you like about her but not have to deal with all the drama and troubles of dating her (I know, things aren't always that simple after dating someone, I'm fairly skeptical myself about the "just friends" thing really working out for anyone post-relationship, but that's just me). I know from personal experience that your decisions when you are having problems in a relationship can often be made hazy due to feelings/affection for the person that overrides rational judgment that should direct you otherwise (hindsight is 20/20, after all), but from the emotionally-removed position I'm viewing this from I think a relationship with her sounds like more work and pain that you should have to go through. You might want to make sure you are both on the same page, i.e. both have the same definition of what a relationship is and what is/isn't acceptable to do when you are in one. The constant flirting with other guys in particular seems like she is taking you for granted/disrespecting you in a big way, but there is always the possibility she has a different understanding of what qualifies as "flirting" vs. "friendly" than you, etc., so that's where I think it would help to try to talk with her and clarify these things regardless of your final decision. Assuming she is deliberately flirting with other guys all the time and as self-centered/desperate-for-attention as you say, I would get the hell out of there before you get any more invested in the relationship and ultimately get hurt greater later on. But hopefully things aren't that grim in reality for you and you can salvage your relationship (or at least friendship) with her. As someone who has been in a similar scenario I wish you the best and hope this was of some help.

Dump her, bring her down a peg.

everything u said explains almost how women are in general....but then u get the good ones who change ur whole perspective....really if u want to be happy leave her now i kid u not...ive been in those type of relationships way to many times and it always ends bad....just break it off now before she breaks up with u for another man or because she feels bored..

I would suggest just being friends. Where is the harm in that?

Try yelling at her a lot. Also make her spend all her free time with you and if this is not aways possible text her every 5 minutes to find out what she is doing. Or you could talk to her about a lot of these concerns you are having, see what can be done about them, and if that answer turns out to be nothing can be done make the tough call of breaking up with her. Just be prepared though because if you do break up with her, in all likelihood her next bf is going to be stronger, better looking, and more talented than you.

Try yelling at her a lot. Also make her spend all her free time with you and if this is not aways possible text her every 5 minutes to find out what she is doing. Or you could talk to her about a lot of these concerns you are having, see what can be done about them, and if that answer turns out to be nothing can be done make the tough call of breaking up with her. Just be prepared though because if you do break up with her, in all likelihood her next bf is going to be stronger, better looking, and more talented than you.

ExGabu

Ummm... I do not think thats the best idea.

I think I will address my concerns again to her tomorrow and see what comes of it. Kind of an ultimatum. If she wants to try and salvage it then I'll give it a few more weeks but otherwise I'll just kill it before it drags out any longer.Optical_Order

This sounds exactly right to me. Be honest with her and if she's unwilling to change, then dump her. Personally, I would recommend that you be very clear with her about your feelings but not accusatory or unnecessarily confrontational about it. Of course, I haven't exactly had a whole lot of luck when I've tried to deal with people diplomatically, so maybe I'm not the best person to take advice from. :P

Negatives outweighs the positives.

[QUOTE="ExGabu"]

Try yelling at her a lot. Also make her spend all her free time with you and if this is not aways possible text her every 5 minutes to find out what she is doing. Or you could talk to her about a lot of these concerns you are having, see what can be done about them, and if that answer turns out to be nothing can be done make the tough call of breaking up with her. Just be prepared though because if you do break up with her, in all likelihood her next bf is going to be stronger, better looking, and more talented than you.

Melpoe

Ummm... I do not think thats the best idea.

Be cold, trust the mind. Forget the heart. Break-up.

[QUOTE="Melpoe"]

[QUOTE="ExGabu"]

Try yelling at her a lot. Also make her spend all her free time with you and if this is not aways possible text her every 5 minutes to find out what she is doing. Or you could talk to her about a lot of these concerns you are having, see what can be done about them, and if that answer turns out to be nothing can be done make the tough call of breaking up with her. Just be prepared though because if you do break up with her, in all likelihood her next bf is going to be stronger, better looking, and more talented than you.

Acemaster27

Ummm... I do not think thats the best idea.

[QUOTE="Acemaster27"][QUOTE="Melpoe"]

Ummm... I do not think thats the best idea.

ExGabu

Well now I'm scared.

[QUOTE="ExGabu"][QUOTE="Acemaster27"] Who's this ExGabu guy? What if it's Gabu's secret alternate account that he uses for trolling :o ? Acemaster27

Well now I'm scared.

Talk to her about your issues and what you two can do to work them out..also, drinking+Girlfriend without you+parties is never a good thing...i'd tell her to stop that..especially due to her naivety and what not..easy target for the most pathetic and degenerate human beings..

She's very full of herself. She has this attitude as if she knows she's hot and better than everyone else. She's extremely stubborn.

Optical_Order

break up with her.

Run away!

I wasn't aware confidence and an outgoing fun personality were considered negatives. What do you want? A submissive wallflower with image issues who brings no spark whatsoever to a relationship? Boooring.

I wasn't aware confidence and an outgoing fun personality were considered negatives. What do you want? A submissive wallflower with image issues who brings no spark whatsoever to a relationship? Boooring.

Oleg_Huzwog

[QUOTE="Oleg_Huzwog"]

I wasn't aware confidence and an outgoing fun personality were considered negatives. What do you want? A submissive wallflower with image issues who brings no spark whatsoever to a relationship? Boooring.

rawsavon

*nods head approvingly*

I need (and have /boast) a significant other who not only tolerates my crap, but can return it tenfold.

You should discuss these issues with her first.Travo_basic

Update.. we broke up. We had another fight and she broke it off. It was very unfair of her because she was crying and kept coming to me for comfort. Idk. I still love her to death.

Hopefully a few beers and a night out will help... ugh

Update.. we broke up. We had another fight and she broke it off. It was very unfair of her because she was crying and kept coming to me for comfort. Idk. I still love her to death.

Hopefully a few beers and a night out will help... ugh

Optical_Order

She broke up with you?

Damn.

Sorry 'bout that m8.:)

dude, what kind of ***** demands compliments, goes to parties to get drunk and flirt with guys, while supposedly going out with you? You didn't lose anything, don't worry. No offense, but you've probably already gotten all that you can get out of her.F1_2004

Not so much demanding more like "do i look pretty today" and hints that she wants compliments 24/7. Her persnoality is very flirty which bugs me. Idk maybe for the best. Certainly sucks right now though.