Went to a lewd coffee shop today

I stopped by at this lewd coffee shop today. Its a drive through.

The girl who served me had a nice bikini thong on. I was nervous to go but glad I did. The girl was pretty friendly and asked me my day. Sure, they just do it for $$$ and are in many cases friendly for a tip, but it turns me on that they are talking to me while almost naked. I'll probably go again. I live like 4 minutes away. Great way to get over my fear of talking to women as well.

Also, going to this coffee shop gives me more motivation to keep fit/have a low body fat because i'm seeing better looking ppl on a daily basis. My workplace is mostly full of landwhales, so its a good contrast and adds a bit of motivation to keep fit.

You got better self control than I do,I'd loose my shit if I even see a leg or a bare mid riff 🐴🦍

Its nice that they wear thongs, and not some conservative clothing that covers their ass cheeks.

Yeah I've seen them on my instagram feed every so often, they're weird as hell and really bring the creeps out of the woodwork lol.

As long as no one gets hurt, so be it. Feel bad for some of the women though, they get stalkers because people get infatuated with them.

Yes and no; those women will react positively to just about anything you say because they're paid to. Whereas women in the real world might react differently. But so long as you keep that in mind, I guess there is no harm.

Go watch the "Raisins" episode of South Park.

This is a good argument for why should just get it over with and legalize prostitution. Things like this are a half-measure.

@bcroger3:

It's a legitamate business ,I'm totally not against that . What's the name of the place

How does it even work? You go in for a five-dollar coffee, spend $20 on tip? I can't imagine a woman willing to do that just to sell coffee for regular tips.

True, but it is consensual. The women like the tips and in some cases the attention and the men like staring at the body and some of the attention as well. No one is hurt as long as everyone plays by the rules.

I am well aware that they do it for $$$ and in many cases are friendly for the tips. I would never want to date one of these girls anyways, they would probably cheat on me quickly and have poor morals. I am not looking for a date clearly. I do, however, get turned on my the fact that they are talking to me while naked and exposed in a thong.

And honestly, I am decent looking, well groomed, and very fit man in my 20s. Its probably somewhat refreshing, because most of the ppl they get are old or fat men honestly. I saw some of the other customers. Quite honestly, they probably like having customers like me.

I can't tell you because of privacy reasons, but you can look to see if your town has a place like that. Google "lewd coffee shop" and see if your place has a similar business.

I used to be good friends with a stripper and she would drag me to Hooters to get fried pickles, wings and beer. Otherwise never felt the need to go to a "lewd" establishment to get attention from women. Kinda feel sorry for guys if this is really the highlight of their female interaction.

True, but it is consensual. The women like the tips and in some cases the attention and the men like staring at the body and some of the attention as well. No one is hurt as long as everyone plays by the rules.

I am well aware that they do it for $$$ and in many cases are friendly for the tips. I would never want to date one of these girls anyways, they would probably cheat on me quickly and have poor morals. I am not looking for a date clearly. I do, however, get turned on my the fact that they are talking to me while naked and exposed in a thong.

And honestly, I am decent looking, well groomed, and very fit man in my 20s. Its probably somewhat refreshing, because most of the ppl they get are old or fat men honestly. I saw some of the other customers. Quite honestly, they probably like having customers like me.

@bcroger3: You're just falling for a thirst trap. It's unlikely for a woman to respect a man who lacks his own self-respect, but they sure will take advantage of one that simps for them in environments like that.

You "saw some of the other customers" as if you think you're separate from them, but the fact is you're lumping yourself up with them.

If you gotta get lewd coffee, by all means do whatever you want, but if that's the highlight of your female interaction you have serious self-improvement to do.

Sure, but they are giving you shit for it. They are giving you coffee and a nice view of their ass.I am not just sending them $$$ for nothing, so its not simping.

Of course its not a highlight of my female interaction, but its just some fun. I will probably go there like 1-2 times a week from now on.

@bcroger3: You are 100% simping, hate to break it to you.

Here is the definition of simp "someone who is perceived as overly submissive or desperate for attention or affection from someone, often without receiving anything in return."

I am getting coffee in return and a nice view of an ass.

@bcroger3: As I've stated, you're free to do what you like.

@jaydan said:

@bcroger3: As I've stated, you're free to do what you like.

Yeah, It could be viewed as simping, honestly, depending on the definition. It’s a transactional setup where both sides are getting something they want, so as long as that’s understood, no harm done. You’re not expecting anything beyond what it is, and it sounds like you’re just enjoying the experience for what it offers. Simping is more like giving $$$ for the sake of giving $$$ or other assets to someone without work on their part. They are working by serving me almost completely naked.

And yeah, being a younger, fit guy probably does stand out compared to their usual crowd. They might appreciate the change of pace. If it gives you a little confidence boost and helps you get more comfortable talking to women, then why not? Its only around $9 a coffee with tax and everything, and you get to see a nice ass with a thong. Nothing wrong with stopping by 1-2 times a week so long as you don't go there like 4+ times a week and get obsessed or anything. (unless you actually want coffee or what ever else they offer)

Also, I work with a bunch of morbidly obese landwhales in a small gov. office in the deep south, and seeing more attractive women regularly motivates me to keep a lower BF and avoid junk food

You sound like one of those uptight, right wing conservatives. As long as both parties are happy, who cares?

We had a chain of Hooters clones over here for a couple of years. They went bust (NPI) very quickly. They set up in prime locations in city centres but I only ever saw a few drunk tourists in the outdoor seating area, whilst everywhere around was packed out.

Stuff like themed restaurants, they don't work well in most of Europe for some reason. Honestly, even TGI Fridays was a bit in-your-face for me, lol. Probably sounds judgemental or something, but not sure how else to describe it, I can only point to the gut feeling: It's the whole artificial hyper-hospitality aspect which is the big turn-off. Feels a bit sad.

Perhaps they are more popular in the USA because we don't have as many good looking women as Europe does? Outside of college campuses and nice corporate offices and hospitals, not many women are that attractive due to the high obesity rate. I work in a small local government office in the deep south, and my female employees could well be the fattest ppl on planet earth. Around 85% are obese where I work, though American women in general are not that fat. lol

From an evolutionarily/biological standpoint, if a woman is serving you almost naked (with just a thong and bra on) your brain does not really know that she is only doing it for the $$$, so you still get sexually aroused because your lizard brain is still watching a nearly naked women serve you on a personal level. Yeah, you can watch porn, and your brain may not know the difference between a video and real life, but your brain instinctively knows that she is not doing it just for you.

Thats why these places are popular. Your brain does not realize that she is only doing it for the $$$. Its like a naked, sexy woman served you for your arousal. Your lizard brain is not wired to understand that its only her job.

I've been meaning to go to one. Kinda far though.

Prostitution really should be legal. This is just silly.

Why you'd pay money to be teased is beyond me. Or do you get off just by having a good looking female talking to you? That's worth money to you?

So weird.. But hey, if I was a good looking girl able to get rich from pervs, It'd probably be hard not to. Get money for no effort is nice.

Why are you judging the ppl who go there by calling them "pervs" but not the ppl who actually work there? Aren't they also pervs? Seems like a double standard.

And yeah, its worth it.

From an evolutionarily/biological standpoint, if a woman is serving you almost naked (with just a thong and bra on) your brain does not really know that she is only doing it for the $$$, so you still get sexually aroused because your lizard brain is still watching a nearly naked women serve you on a personal level. Yeah, you can watch porn, and your brain may not know the difference between a video and real life, but your brain instinctively knows that she is not doing it just for you.

Thats why these places are popular. Your brain does not realize that she is only doing it for the $$$. Its like a naked, sexy woman served you for your arousal. Your lizard brain is not wired to understand that its only her job.

Nothing wrong with stopping by 1-2 times a week so long as you don't go there like 4+ times a week and get obsessed or anything. (unless you actually want coffee or what ever else they offer.) Plus its only like 4 minutes away from my house anyways.

I am not here to judge. You do you. Just don't delude yourself. And after a few more visits ask yourself what you are really getting out of it, what you really want, and what are the alternatives to get what you really want?

What you don't want is to develop a substitute habit for what you really want. You would be selling yourself short. Be introspective and be completely honest. No one needs to know, except you. Every experience can be about self learning...which is essential to change, if change is what you want.

If change is not relevant and you just want some high priced coffee and a smile from a half naked girl...just because you can and you think of it as practice...that's fine too. As long as it is honest.

Learn about you. That's my advice.

Mmmm, coffee!

To be fair, he stated he has difficulty approaching women. It is entirely possible to practice some basic social skills in a zero risk environment. It isn't real and he is aware of that. But practice and overcoming his fear could be a legit goal. As long as this isn't a substitute for eventually trying it out in the real world.

TC has way more than overcoming a difficulty approaching women to work on.

He's openly objectifying and disrespecting women as displayed in this thread. From describing his colleagues as obese landwhales and treating a coffee run as entitlement to give him a boner; the guy is a misogynistic perv/simp/creep. I'm sorry, but if "respect" towards women boil down to who makes him horny: he is a creep. Respect women, plain and simple.

The guy does not seem to have issue with these things and insists it's all fair game as long as there's a transactional agreement between this interaction. To a degree he has the freedom to be these things, but something tells me he's trying to cover and avoid deep insecurities instead of confronting them and doing better.

The sad thing is: the "respect" he thinks he's giving to the women at these coffee shops isn't even respecting them either. These women are fully aware of guys like him, hence why they feel no qualm taking advantage of guys like him.

At that rate he better get used to being alone and a pervy coffee run might just be the only highlight he'll ever have with a woman.

Sadly true. I hope he helps himself, but it's going to take some awakening, self-reflection and humility to start a recovery. But right now with such an attitude and outlook towards women, he's making his chances of developing any meaningful relationship with a woman bleak.

I’ve been to a lot of stripclubs to get laid,not to a coffee shop to be teased by thongs.lol. Wow some of you are really desperate for attention. Montreal,Canada is full of women with movie star looks, strippers take you in the back room for whatever you’d like.

"He's openly objectifying women as displayed in this thread"

Maybe, but they consent to do these things and I have the freedom to engage in them. If you get a bit of pleasure going there like 1-2 times a week and tip a little then there is no harm. Both parties are happy. Its not a way of life. I believe that they are somewhat happy to see a fit, younger man instead of a creepy, overweight, older guy and I tip $2.

No offense, but you don't have to be that sensitive. Part of the reason why democrats (I am a democrat myself btw) lose elections, and have even lost the young male vote is largely because the hyper sensitivity of many on the left- that is calling everything "objectification" of women even when the women choose to behave in such a way, getting offended over fat jokes, fat acceptance logic etc. None of this helps in terms of elections. Men will be men and making a few fat jokes online and stopping by at suggestive places such as a lude smoothie shop are fine as long as they are done in moderation and rules are followed.

This is the anonymous internet, so some fat jokes and sexual references are generally tolerated. I believe that we should try to mainstream the democrat party and bring back young men.

@bcroger3: I'm sure your random and deep political analysis on why you're ogling baristas at a bikini coffee shop will turn the tide of elections. Maybe focus less on partisan takes and more on why you're defending your misogynistic views. Also, if you’re this defensive over strangers pointing out objectification, you might wanna get used to solo coffee dates.

You seem to make a lot of assumptions.

I get a bit of pleasure going there like 1-2 times a week there is no harm. Both parties are happy. Its not a way of life. Really, nothing wrong with that as long as both parties are happy. I leave a small tip, so really both parties benefit and its probably nice to see a younger, fit man come in once in a while. If anything, I am doing them a favor.

I never posted any misogynistic or objectifying content. Calling ppl "landwhales" is more of a joke. Sorry if that offends you, but this is just how men talk on online, anonymous forums. Same with women calling undesirable men "creepy," "Indian" or "weird" or Reddit or elsewhere.

@jaydan: I am sure your stripper friend would have been thrilled with your moral hypocrisy.

The TC has been open and honest and has acknowledged he has difficulty approaching women. You shitting on him and making your own assumptions tells me something about your character.

@SUD123456: Please enlighten me with this alleged "moral hypocrisy." Something tells me you'll miss the mark. Lol

Thanks bro. Appreciate it.

Because going there for the reason to look at naked bodies is pervy. I don't know what to say, if you think that word is negative and feel like it's a judgemental word aimed at you, you just have to live with that.

They who work are also pervs? I don't know, that depends. If one of them had a really hard time getting a job, was on the brink of being homeless, than bit the sour apple that is showing your body to pervs for money, I'd say she isn't very pervy, no.

K. Seems weird to me when there are beaches, strip clubs, porn etc. But you do you.

The irony of the bold statement, is he's judgemental of the other patrons he sees going to this establishment, yet he somehow thinks he's not one of those guys. He thinks he's the exception and doing those women a favor. 🤣🤣

I don't know how I would feel going to one of those places and paying for what I could get for free. I've never had problems picking people up and I've had a lot of relationships, so I feel kinda like been there done that. I can appreciate someone good looking but at this point it's more about their personality and getting a vibe off of them, they don't have to have their clothes off because I probably already know what's under there. Also I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable around the clientele, I picture a lot of people who need to pay to see that and it seems sleazy. Also good point OP if they don't hire thicc people then it would feel like something was missing anyway, I like a spectrum.

All i'm saying is that if you judge them, you should judge the workers. Seems like a double standard to me.

You are assuming that the women don't actually enjoy the experience, when in many cases they do. Many of them smile, talk in sexy ways, and seem to have a good time with the patrons. Sure, some of its for tips, but you can tell that they enjoy it more than an ordinary retail job. Thats why they work there. Why do you tell women what they can and can't do? These women have more friendly and sexualized personalities and enjoy expressing themselves.

If you feel so bad for them, then start a go Fund me for them. Its not like telling men not to go to these establishments will help. Even if I don't go, there are millions of other men and women who will.

No. I think its a good thing to go to one of these establishments. I don't judge them. I think that older men going to restaurants, smoothie/coffee shops, bars etc. to see younger women is a good thing if it makes them happy and reminds them of their younger days, before their wives blew up and became angry landwhales. It also motivities them to look younger/workout/dress better which can improve their mental health and well being overall. From my understanding they tend to tip well too.

But objectively, yeah I think that I look better than them in terms of facial appearance, muscle mass, age etc. I don't think i'm doing them a "favor" but I think they like it when a better looking guy stops buy. No doubt. If you feel so bad for them, then start a go Fund me for them. Its not like telling men not to go to these establishments will help. You sound like the world will suddenly end if I stop by at a lude smoothie shop 1-2 times a week for a fruit smoothie.

They don't go to a coffee place to look at naked bodies. Not sure why should I judge them for doing something they don't do.

I'm assuming nothing. Not sure where you got that from.

I don't and I have no idea where you got that from.

I don't feel especially bad for them. You're very defensive about this. Can't you just accept that you're pervy? I mean, everyone are to an extent.

Not that I don't like seeing scantily clad women, I just wouldn't want them serving me anything in something like that that they wear for long periods of time.....picking wedgies all day and then handling stuff you consume. I'd rather not take the extra chances (they're already high enough just getting something to eat from a food establishment where they wear normal clothing) of getting e-coli.

If you are going to judge the CUSTOMERS, then you should also judge the people who work there. After all, the customers aren't the ones serving coffees naked.

I don't judge EITHER of them, so this is not an issue for me. You are the one acting Holier than Thou, not me.

If they aren't doing the same thing, I'm not going to judge them for the same thing.

Bolded, I don't see how. I stated that everyone are pervy sometimes. I also stated that prostitution should be legal, since tip toeing around buying and selling sex when people just want to buy and sell sex is ridiculous. It would remove frustration and make sex trafficking and other serious crimes less profitable. I think you're focusing on my loose usage of the term "perv" too much. Maybe should've gone with horndog instead or something.

I can't imagine that's sanitary. But hey, you do you.

At least the breast milk has been sanitized. It's sanitized ahead of the morning rush.

Eh, not really my thing.

But I'm aware there's a ton of men out there who can't get female intimacy, so I can see the appeal for guys like that.

As for the women, some enjoy that type of work and some just do it for the money. Ultimately, they're adults making their own decisions in life.

I look at most of the ppl in the cars. Most are older married men. Same with men who go to those restaurants/diners and bars just to see their favorite waitress. I think that traditional "incels" are generally too shy/awkward to go to a place like that.

I think many older men go to some establishments (such as a lewd coffee shop, a diner, bar etc.) to remind themselves of the old days when they first met their wife and they were both young. Its nostalgic for them.

Fair point, a lot of older married men are also into this type of thing. There was a study that showed most adult men of all ages (18-60) are attracted to women in their 20s. In contrast, the same study shows that most women are attracted to men a couple years older than themselves. So while most middle-aged women are attracted to middle-aged men... most middle-aged men are attracted to younger women in their 20s. Some feminists might get creeped out by this (e.g. their reactions to Leonardo DiCaprio always dating young women), but it's the bitter truth.

Studies are still a bit mixed in their findings there.

When it comes to immediate attraction, there's evidence to suggest that, just as older gentlemen often pursue younger women, women generally prefer the young stud too. That wouldn't really explain the trend for a lot of younger women marrying or dating older guys, but it is in line with the phenomenon of wealthy or powerful women opting for a "toy-boy" over a guy of a similar age or older.

Then again, that's studies, isn't it. Sometimes we like to believe the counter-intuitive and gravitate to one study or another based on our biases. If I were to guess, from personal observation, I'd say both men and women are more often physically attracted to health, vigour and what we typically consider "good looks". Both can be found in more youthful partners and, yes, also those on the older side. But then, that's just physical, and it's only thinking in terms of "fun". There's loads more that goes into attraction than immediate appearance, and it says nothing about what makes for a stable and happy long-term relationship, nor does it account for unique individual preferences - these are just statistical trends.

Personally, I kind of like bcroger3's assessment that a lot of these older guys are probably trying to recapture some feeling they've lost. Don't know why... I guess that's my biases creeping in. I'm not sure how most people feel when they see a guy in his sixties bringing flowers for a girl in a tight skirt in her twenties, but there's definitely an immediate intuition felt, isn't there? I wonder if most people would use the same words to describe it.

@sancho_panzer:

The study I was referencing:

Dataclysm: Love, Sex, Race, and Identity--What Our Online Lives Tell Us about Our Offline Selves (2015)

According to Google Scholar, this 2015 study has well over 100 citations from other scholarly works. So its findings have been backed by many other scholars.

In contrast, the more recent 2025 study you've posted has 0 citations on Google Scholar. In other words, no other scholars have yet backed its findings.

Either way, the 2025 study doesn't necessarily contradict the 2015 study. Naturally, women prioritize looks way less than men, especially as they get older. So while the average middle-aged woman might find the young stud more physically attractive, she'd still find the middle-aged man more attractive overall for reasons other than looks.

Dude, it's not nostalgia.

True, when it comes to leud coffee shops and such its just attraction.

But when it comes to stopping by at a restaurants to see a waitress, talk to younger (mostly college girls) etc. I think its mostly a nostalgia thing. It reminds them of their wives before they first met.

I also stop by at a smoothie shop often (to drink veggie smoothies, not see women or anything.) Most of the employees there are college girls. Many older men (like 50+) try to talk to them. I mean, I know that they don't think that they can score them, but it reminds of them of their youth, when they met their first wife.