What are some great quotes?

I'm bored, and love hearing inspirational, thought-provoking, or just funny quotes.

OT, got any?

Friend to another Friend: Mmm baby, you remind me of mah daddy. Show me that thang.

Trust but confirm- Ronald Reagan

"If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bull****"

I live by this, it works great on my friends :P

Go to Heavan for the climate, go to Hell for the company.

I could eat a knob at night.- Karl Pilkington

"Don't let your mouth write a cheque that your *** can't cash."

(my personal favorite)

on my last chinesse fortune cookie

a drunk mans word is a sober mans thoughts

"If one day I could get out of here, I would allow myself to be crazy. Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to." - Paulo Coehlo

Anything from him is awesome! His books are very good to read and straight to the heart!

to girl: "Yo, I just want you to know, you da baddest chick in da room."

"It's good to be here. I'm just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It's not working out too well. "
- Brian Regan

"If you tell a lie long enough, loud enough and often enough, the people will believe it."
- Adolf Hitler

"It is fortunate for those in power that people do not think."
- Adolf Hitler

"The secret to success is to own nothing, but control everything."
- Nelson Rockefeller

"In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"
- Leonardo Da Vinci

"Crowded elevator smell different to midget" Confucius say.

"Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands" Confucius say.