What is the worst time you have ever farted?

First date with my current girlfriend, thankfully she just laughed when she saw how embarressed I got.

in the shower with my then girlfriend, now fiance.

we had been up drinking the night before, and were in the shower together when one snuck out on me.

it was absolutely vile, turning the shower into a nauseating sauna. that beast pretty much chased both of us out of the bathroom.

the fact that we're still together is amazing. i guess love can overcome anything... including demon flatulence.

We were taking a history test in 9th grade. Pretty much all of the girls were on the other side of the class and all the boys on the other for some reason. Anyhow.. I let one rip it was like one of those gunshots. No smell.. but very loud. All the girls looked disgusted, the teacher didnt look amused and all the guys were laughing so hard.

Thing was.. it echoed. So no one knew where it came from. Alot of shifty eyes that final 10 minutes of class.

Dear god you guys are so funny! I haven't laughed that hard in forever.

My worst fart was in kindergarten. We were all sitting on the carpet, and I let out a pretty loud one. Everyone down the row leaned over and looked at me, and I leaned over and looked at them, pretending it wasn't me. I didn't fool anybody.

In my piano class.

It stunk pretty bad, but the bell rang, and no one noticed.

In 8th grade, I was late one morning and I stopped by my locker and I was going to let one free and this girl that liked me was at her locker which happened to be near mine and she came and play punched me in the stomach. I made some loud noise the same time I farted to cover it, but she didn't look very happy after that.

Squished on a bus headed to midterms in the middle of winter. And I mean squished - entirely full second floor, so everyone else had to cram into the lower floor of the bus in the middle area and around the handicap spots. Everyone was wet from standing in the rain, the windows were all fogged up, glasses were fogged up, and even though the driver had the air on full blast there were too many people for it to circulate.

That's when my gut rumbled a bit.

We stopped right before the hospital to let on some more people bound for the university. Everyone shuffled forwards, and I found myself even more squished, with a bit too much pressure on my intestines.

All of a sudden my butt got a little warmer, and I could feel a searing hot fart slithering out. Warm farts are never a good sign on the best occasion, and in the current situation I would have much rather had an audible, scent-free one, since it was loud enough no one would have heard over the rumble of the engine.

The full extent of that fart hit just as the last person wedged themselves through the door and the driver pulled away from the curb. It was like getting punched in the face by a fist made of various fermented food products left to its own devices in my intestines. A bit of egg, a bit of rancid beef, a bit of stale beer, combined with the already stale and damp air to almost literally choke the breath out of everyone standing in my general vicinity.

On the bright side, I gagged too, and we were all so close together no one could have pinned it on me.

Two girls actually pulled the bell and got off at the next stop because of it.

I find this thread funny, but don't be surprised if it gets locked, since it seems that people is way to susceptible and sensitive to farts, that they can't stand people that talk about them. :roll:

The worst time I think it was when I was with some friends of mine (girls) outside High School, waiting for the van that took us home. We were talking and such and a rebel fart came out, with no warning nor notification to the owner that he was wanting to go out. I was quite surprised and I tried to hide the noise by rubbing the little stones that covered the floor. I suspect it worked and I think my friends didn't notice .... or they concealed that veeeeeeery well.

:lol:

I figure this will be good, but it wasnt me that farted this time.

If any of you have worked in the older houses, you know there is a crawl space between the walls for the plumbing. Well me and 2 other guys had to go in to fix my friend's grandmother's water line going to her upstairs bathroom. While we were in there, since one went on the other side and the other guy followed me to hand me tools, someone farted.

I dont know which of those sons of "blanks" did it, I will never know. All I know is that Someone did it was I was undoing the main line. That stuff stunk so bad and I couldnt get out fast enough. Started gagging, cussing. The grandmother started freaking out wondering if something happened cause she heard all this yelling and banging.

It was like this blanket of stench just went up and slamed back down where I was twisted around pipes.

Squished on a bus headed to midterms in the middle of winter. And I mean squished - entirely full second floor, so everyone else had to cram into the lower floor of the bus in the middle area and around the handicap spots. Everyone was wet from standing in the rain, the windows were all fogged up, glasses were fogged up, and even though the driver had the air on full blast there were too many people for it to circulate.

That's when my gut rumbled a bit.

We stopped right before the hospital to let on some more people bound for the university. Everyone shuffled forwards, and I found myself even more squished, with a bit too much pressure on my intestines.

All of a sudden my butt got a little warmer, and I could feel a searing hot fart slithering out. Warm farts are never a good sign on the best occasion, and in the current situation I would have much rather had an audible, scent-free one, since it was loud enough no one would have heard over the rumble of the engine.

The full extent of that fart hit just as the last person wedged themselves through the door and the driver pulled away from the curb. It was like getting punched in the face by a fist made of various fermented food products left to its own devices in my intestines. A bit of egg, a bit of rancid beef, a bit of stale beer, combined with the already stale and damp air to almost literally choke the breath out of everyone standing in my general vicinity.

On the bright side, I gagged too, and we were all so close together no one could have pinned it on me.

Two girls actually pulled the bell and got off at the next stop because of it.

DJ_Lae

I've always hated 'Silent But Deadlies' (SBDs).

Smelling them, I mean, since they aren't easily trackable.

Dear god you guys are so funny! I haven't laughed that hard in forever.

My worst fart was in kindergarten.

michellez

I pissed my pants in kindergarten.

i don't know if I have ever laughed so much in a thread

OMFG! This thread delivers on teh funnay!

Seriously the amount of description you guys put into your stories is second only to a good novel.

For me, it was during a zero hour class (which is a class that takes place before the school "officially" starts) I was just sitting there when it just happened. Sound like an explosion. Everyone was looking at me and laughing :lol:.Yagr_Zero

Why didn't you warn people by saying 'Missile' like in WipeOut?

There was this one time last year.. it was the last period of the day, and me and my friend were sitting on the bleachers ready to go home. We were listening to music and watching some people play basketball. So I took off my headphones and said to my friend to listen because I was going to fart really loud. He said no he didn't want to hear it so I said whatever and ripped one right as the gym teacher blew the whistle and every one got quiet. It rumbled the whole bleachers (made of metal or aluminum im not sure) everyone in the gym heard it and a couple of kids dropped their basketballs and just stared at me and my friend with open jaws because they werent sure which one did it, and my friend heard it with his music blasting. :lol:

I was out of breath after the first page.

Mine happened this year.

I was running the half mile for the first time this school year, which usually doesn't effect me at all, but I was out of shape. So I lay down and a bunch of girls lay down next to me. I was talking to them when all the sudden I ripped one extremely loud. I mean REALLY loud. The teacher was calling out times to the runners as they ran by, and the people crossing the line while I farted had to go back and ask him what time it was. Needless to say, all the girls got up and left.

Then there is the time in English when I felt it coming on, got up to "sharpen" my pencil, and dropped it off by a couple of my friends. A few seconds later, they all had their shirts on their heads.

I find this thread funny, but don't be surprised if it gets locked, since it seems that people is way to susceptible and sensitive to farts, that they can't stand people that talk about them. :roll:

The worst time I think it was when I was with some friends of mine (girls) outside High School, waiting for the van that took us home. We were talking and such and a rebel fart came out, with no warning nor notification to the owner that he was wanting to go out. I was quite surprised and I tried to hide the noise by rubbing the little stones that covered the floor. I suspect it worked and I think my friends didn't notice .... or they concealed that veeeeeeery well.

:lol:

eloyc

Squished on a bus headed to midterms in the middle of winter. And I mean squished - entirely full second floor, so everyone else had to cram into the lower floor of the bus in the middle area and around the handicap spots. Everyone was wet from standing in the rain, the windows were all fogged up, glasses were fogged up, and even though the driver had the air on full blast there were too many people for it to circulate.

That's when my gut rumbled a bit.

We stopped right before the hospital to let on some more people bound for the university. Everyone shuffled forwards, and I found myself even more squished, with a bit too much pressure on my intestines.

All of a sudden my butt got a little warmer, and I could feel a searing hot fart slithering out. Warm farts are never a good sign on the best occasion, and in the current situation I would have much rather had an audible, scent-free one, since it was loud enough no one would have heard over the rumble of the engine.

The full extent of that fart hit just as the last person wedged themselves through the door and the driver pulled away from the curb. It was like getting punched in the face by a fist made of various fermented food products left to its own devices in my intestines. A bit of egg, a bit of rancid beef, a bit of stale beer, combined with the already stale and damp air to almost literally choke the breath out of everyone standing in my general vicinity.

On the bright side, I gagged too, and we were all so close together no one could have pinned it on me.

Two girls actually pulled the bell and got off at the next stop because of it.

DJ_Lae

I love your ability to make such a situation into a compelling story. I couldn't stop laughing. I don't have any stories involving this, I'm a ninja I guess.

[QUOTE="michellez"]

Dear god you guys are so funny! I haven't laughed that hard in forever.

My worst fart was in kindergarten.

Nifty_Shark

I pissed my pants in kindergarten.

I can't think of any stories of mine, but I was with some of my friends when one of them stretched his arms and "YAWWWNPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFF" It didn't work. A few weeks later we were in the same parking lot in his car, drinking milkshakes when he freaked out all of a sudden and started saying "Oh ****! Oh ****!" and then we knew why. He sharted and was swerving through the lot trying to get behind the store so he could change.

I know those stories are gonna get blamed on me too because I said a "friend" did them, but oh well.

I really had to crap...

and my friend said the funniest thing in the world and I laughed, and so I farted and I laughed because I farted, and I farted and this kept on untill I eventualy crapped myself

I really had to crap...

and my friend said the funniest thing in the world and I laughed, and so I farted and I laughed because I farted, and I farted and this kept on untill I eventualy crapped myself

MrShocky

Win.

in the shower with my then girlfriend, now fiance.

we had been up drinking the night before, and were in the shower together when one snuck out on me.

it was absolutely vile, turning the shower into a nauseating sauna. that beast pretty much chased both of us out of the bathroom.

the fact that we're still together is amazing. i guess love can overcome anything... including demon flatulence.

-starman-

anyway the worst time for me would have to be  in gym in elementary, we were all doing sit ups and well I laid one out on my way up and yeah I guess you can imagine the outcome.