What to do when you're in the "friend zone"?

Well I've hung with the same girl for the past few days because we really liked each other and we were holding hands, making out, and cuddling, and I thought everything was going great but then yesterday I get some text messages saying this:

"Hey Ryan, I like you, but I still have feelings for (her ex). I saw him last night and we had a talk. We are always going to go back to each other. It sucks because I can't start liking someone new, I just start missing him more. Then he always texts me and calls me and things are back to normal. I'm sorry."

And I'm just like "...wow...awesome", I didn't expect this in the slightest.

But then I talk to her on AIM later that night and she's telling me all this pathetic garbage about how she can't get over him and I told her that I would still be her friend because I really liked her, but now I'm stuck in the friend zone. She said she still likes me, but I'm pretty much sitting around waiting for this other guy to screw up again, or waiting for her to get smart. Either way, it sucks.

What do I do once I'm in the friend zone?

I've gotta get out, and I don't want to end it completely.

Don't sit around waiting for her to make up he mind. Go out with other people, have fun, enjoy yourself. Sitting around will only make you more miserable because all you're left doing is thinking about her. You can't force her to dump the guy and start going out with you, and who knows how long they'll be togethere this time around, so why wait?? If she see's you hanging out, having fun with other people, especially women, it might cause her to think twice about having let you go. Of course by then you'll most likely have met someone else and gotten over your feelings for her. So, either way, it's a win for you.

Ok, here's what you need to do......It's gonna be hard but ignore her. If you didn't already tell her how you feel then I would tell you to do that. Since you already laid it on the line I say ignore and avoid her. If she calls don't bother answering. If you feel that you need to answer (even though I recommend that you don't) the her that you're busy, or that you'll call her back. Don't respond call her back. Don't respond to her on AIM or her texts.

In time you'll get over her and she'll wonder why you have moved on so quickly. She seems too confused and you don't need that drama. How old is she and you?

Your mistake was telling her that you'll still be her friend. She was doing the hanky panky things with you to try and get over her ex-boyfriend. She used you, and now that she knows she can use you, she'll most likely do it again in the future. By proclaiming that you'll be her friend after she used you, she will not take you seriously because she'll remember the time where she was able to manipulate you.

Be thankful that she still wants you as a friend, it may suck at first but you will soon learn that friendship is one of the biggest gifts you will ever have. Just go with it, dont make any moves that suggest anything. Keep being her friend and if he screws up then keep being her friend. If she really likes you then she will come to you. If you try and pursue her too fast then you risk your friendship and that is not worth loosing. I am in the same situation and I treasure the girl's friendship more than anything she has ever given to me.

One does not simply walk out of the friend zone.MrPraline

Or jump..

LOL

Be thankful that she still wants you as a friend, it may suck at first but you will soon learn that friendship is one of the biggest gifts you will ever have. Just go with it, dont make any moves that suggest anything. Keep being her friend and if he screws up then keep being her friend. If she really likes you then she will come to you. If you try and pursue her too fast then you risk your friendship and that is not worth loosing. I am in the same situation and I treasure the girl's friendship more than anything she has ever given to me.

Film-Guy

Yeah, a girl I was pursuing whom I had even said I wanted to date ended up going behind my back and hooking up with my roomate and is currently dating him. We are still realy good friends and I would even argue we have a much better relationship than she does with my roomate. I have come to the conclusion I don't want to ruin that friendship and I value it alot.

So yeah, in other words just be friends and find someone else, that simple.

[QUOTE="MrPraline"]One does not simply walk out of the friend zone.Dystopian-X

Or jump..

LOL

This just made my day.

All my relationships end up in the friend zone. I'm good friends with both my ex-girlfriends, and it's better than never talking to each other again. I'm currently really good friends with the girl I'm interested in, and for now I'm content with it.

BS, i'd rather not be friends at all, she goes behind your back and is sleeping with some guy. "I value that friendship" pffft you can do that with a guy or maybe a real girlfriend i'm not wasting my time with something in between esp. after getting burned like that. X360PS3AMD05

yea mate just let it go

All my relationships end up in the friend zone. I'm good friends with both my ex-girlfriends, and it's better than never talking to each other again. I'm currently really good friends with the girl I'm interested in, and for now I'm content with it.

Guppy507

Im the same, even though I try and get into a relationship I always end up in the friend zone. Its almost like a black hole the sucks me in. I am also the overall neutral guy when it comes to drama between girls and everyone else. I hear crap from both sides but I never take sides, I am almost like the negotiater for the arguements. Girls like me because I am good at giving advice to them and I dont judge them. Yet I never get beyond friend even though I try:( Oh well I'm only 18 so there is still time.

Ok it's hard when you actually like her, but you have to just STOP all communications and encounters for a little while.

Then in like a month or two you randomly text or call her and ask if shes interested in doing somthing.

During the time apart the friendship bond will most likely have been broken and which will mkae it more easy for you to get farther

.......but of course this wonr work if shes gone steady with her ex lol

[QUOTE="Guppy507"]

All my relationships end up in the friend zone. I'm good friends with both my ex-girlfriends, and it's better than never talking to each other again. I'm currently really good friends with the girl I'm interested in, and for now I'm content with it.

Film-Guy

Im the same, even though I try and get into a relationship I always end up in the friend zone. Its almost like a black hole the sucks me in. I am also the overall neutral guy when it comes to drama between girls and everyone else. I hear crap from both sides but I never take sides, I am almost like the negotiater for the arguements. Girls like me because I am good at giving advice to them and I dont judge them. Yet I never get beyond friend even though I try:( Oh well I'm only 18 so there is still time.

Well, I always start off in the friend zone because I end up falling for my friends. I start as casual friends, start liking them, and try to get closer to them because I'm too lame to just tell them. :P

Well thats ****** up! Your making out and cuddling but she has feelings for you ex? :x

How the hell do you consider yourself in the "friend zone" if you make out and cuddle?! I dun't make out and cuddle with people in the "friend zone"

BS, i'd rather not be friends at all, she goes behind your back and is sleeping with some guy. "I value that friendship" pffft you can do that with a guy or maybe a real girlfriend i'm not wasting my time with something in between esp. after getting burned like that. X360PS3AMD05

If this was aimed at my post, there is alot to it that has left me feeling this way.

Her being in a "relationship" I believe is much more focused on just the sex. We have all the inside jokes, make eachother smile when one of us is feeling down, we actually see eachother more than she sees my roomate because we work together, and quite honestly I had made a move when they had already known eachother before and I hadn't known that she had a crush on him already and hadn't done anything about it because he was her manager at the time and those relationships aren't allowed and would cause for someone to possibly lose their job. I basically was fighting against feelings that were already there (I knew he had an interest in her but after talking to him about it he was chasing other girls so I went after her) so I didn't stand much of a chance.

I came to the conclusion it has alot to do with her being a bit of a naive 18 year old girl and I do not expect their relationship to last, whereas our friendship will still be there. It works out because I get that relationship and yet I am still open to having a GF and I actually have my heart somewhat stuck on a different girl who unfortunately rejected me. I am just biding my time trying to get in shape and improve myself and waiting to run into the next girl who will steal my heart.

[QUOTE="Guppy507"]

All my relationships end up in the friend zone. I'm good friends with both my ex-girlfriends, and it's better than never talking to each other again. I'm currently really good friends with the girl I'm interested in, and for now I'm content with it.

Film-Guy

Im the same, even though I try and get into a relationship I always end up in the friend zone. Its almost like a black hole the sucks me in. I am also the overall neutral guy when it comes to drama between girls and everyone else. I hear crap from both sides but I never take sides, I am almost like the negotiater for the arguements. Girls like me because I am good at giving advice to them and I dont judge them. Yet I never get beyond friend even though I try:( Oh well I'm only 18 so there is still time.

I have had that problem and I am trying something new. I am letting my ego through a bit more and I am not running around being the total "nice guy" anymore.

I think that girls will see that potential and want to work to get my nice side to come out and at the same time I won't come off looking like a pathetic doormate but instead someone who is confident and not going to take crap from people.

[QUOTE="Film-Guy"]

[QUOTE="Guppy507"]

All my relationships end up in the friend zone. I'm good friends with both my ex-girlfriends, and it's better than never talking to each other again. I'm currently really good friends with the girl I'm interested in, and for now I'm content with it.

Guppy507

Im the same, even though I try and get into a relationship I always end up in the friend zone. Its almost like a black hole the sucks me in. I am also the overall neutral guy when it comes to drama between girls and everyone else. I hear crap from both sides but I never take sides, I am almost like the negotiater for the arguements. Girls like me because I am good at giving advice to them and I dont judge them. Yet I never get beyond friend even though I try:( Oh well I'm only 18 so there is still time.

Well, I always start off in the friend zone because I end up falling for my friends. I start as casual friends, start liking them, and try to get closer to them because I'm too lame to just tell them. :P

I'm the same, I have fallen for a few friends and have fallen for another recently. A friend of mine told her though and I panicked and said it was just conflicted emotions since I am leaving high school and am moving to england for the summer and maybe beyond so I may have been overreacting when I said I was falling for her. Which is all BS.

I'm the same, I have fallen for a few friends and have fallen for another recently. A friend of mine told her though and I panicked and said it was just conflicted emotions since I am leaving high school and am moving to england for the summer and maybe beyond so I may have been overreacting when I said I was falling for her. Which is all BS.

Film-Guy

Well I've hung with the same girl for the past few days because we really liked each other and we were holding hands, making out, and cuddling, and I thought everything was going great but then yesterday I get some text messages saying this:

"Hey Ryan, I like you, but I still have feelings for (her ex). I saw him last night and we had a talk. We are always going to go back to each other. It sucks because I can't start liking someone new, I just start missing him more. Then he always texts me and calls me and things are back to normal. I'm sorry."

And I'm just like "...wow...awesome", I didn't expect this in the slightest. - Funniest thing I have read all day.

But then I talk to her on AIM later that night and she's telling me all this pathetic garbage about how she can't get over him and I told her that I would still be her friend because I really liked her, but now I'm stuck in the friend zone. She said she still likes me, but I'm pretty much sitting around waiting for this other guy to screw up again, or waiting for her to get smart. Either way, it sucks.

What do I do once I'm in the friend zone?

I've gotta get out, and I don't want to end it completely.

Deathxcore

There is only one way out of the friend zone...you must spill the blood of an innocent.

[QUOTE="Film-Guy"]

I'm the same, I have fallen for a few friends and have fallen for another recently. A friend of mine told her though and I panicked and said it was just conflicted emotions since I am leaving high school and am moving to england for the summer and maybe beyond so I may have been overreacting when I said I was falling for her. Which is all BS.

Jandurin

I panicked:cry: Plus she seemed weirded out when she found out which didnt help. She seems better now, like she wouldnt care if she found out again. Maybe now is the time, I just dont want to lose her as a friend:(

I just dont want to lose her as a friend:(

Film-Guy

[QUOTE="Film-Guy"]

I just dont want to lose her as a friend:(

Jandurin

She seems right. I mean she is a girl who likes action movies like Rambo, Man On fire, and Predator, She plays video games, writes music, has a great taste is music, and not to sound shallow but she is ridiculously cute which helps:) So yeah I'm think its probably best to see how it goes and try to read the signs before I jump into the deep end of the pool.

I don't know what this "friend zone" thing is that you're talking about.

You find a girl who WANTS to date YOU.duxup

.

I don't know what this "friend zone" thing is that you're talking about.

avatar_genius

Either you know exactly what to say to a woman (or man).

Or.

You are a sad husk of a person that has never been close enough to someone of another (or same) gender to smell their conditioner.

Wait aren't you the user who had the thread on-

*grabbed by moderators*

are you friends with the other guy? don't try to break them up, but don't help them stay together, like if you find him doing something she wouldn't like, don't keep the secret for him, but don't frame him or anything stupid like that.

[QUOTE="avatar_genius"]

I don't know what this "friend zone" thing is that you're talking about.

clayron

Either you know exactly what to say to a woman (or man).

Or.

You are a sad husk of a person that has never been close enough to someone of another (or same) gender to smell their conditioner.

Wait aren't you the user who had the thread on-

*grabbed by moderators*

Yeah, I was being a little wuss last night.

I don't pretend to be a girl's friend just in the hopes of one day becoming more than that. I think if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen, and if it isn't then there's nothing anyone can do to change that.

I don't feel relationships are based on experience points like RPGs. Either there's a magnetic charge or there isn't. No one can convince themself nor be convinced to like someone else.

And if they are that type where I have to pass some sort of "boyfriend test," then to me, they aren't worth it.

[QUOTE="clayron"]

[QUOTE="avatar_genius"]

I don't know what this "friend zone" thing is that you're talking about.

avatar_genius

Either you know exactly what to say to a woman (or man).

Or.

You are a sad husk of a person that has never been close enough to someone of another (or same) gender to smell their conditioner.

Wait aren't you the user who had the thread on-

*grabbed by moderators*

Yeah, I was being a little wuss last night. - Tis Ok, we've all done it.

I don't pretend to be a girl's friend just in the hopes of one day becoming more than that. I think if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen, and if it isn't then there's nothing anyone can do to change that.

I don't feel relationships are based on experience points like RPGs. Either there's a magnetic charge or there isn't. No one can convince themself nor be convinced to like someone else.

And if they are that type where I have to pass some sort of "boyfriend test," then to me, they aren't worth it. - I agree. however, I think overtime someone can go from not liking you, to finding you sexy. :P

[QUOTE="Dystopian-X"]

[QUOTE="MrPraline"]One does not simply walk out of the friend zone.shakmaster13

Or jump..

LOL

This just made my day.

I've got to save this :lol:

I would personally just forget about her...sounds like she doesn't know what she wants or is playing games. Avoid girls like that..

I would personally just forget about her...sounds like she doesn't know what she wants or is playing games. Avoid girls like that..

_en1gma_

[QUOTE="avatar_genius"]

[QUOTE="clayron"]

Either you know exactly what to say to a woman (or man).

Or.

You are a sad husk of a person that has never been close enough to someone of another (or same) gender to smell their conditioner.

Wait aren't you the user who had the thread on-

*grabbed by moderators*

clayron

Yeah, I was being a little wuss last night. - Tis Ok, we've all done it.

I don't pretend to be a girl's friend just in the hopes of one day becoming more than that. I think if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen, and if it isn't then there's nothing anyone can do to change that.

I don't feel relationships are based on experience points like RPGs. Either there's a magnetic charge or there isn't. No one can convince themself nor be convinced to like someone else.

And if they are that type where I have to pass some sort of "boyfriend test," then to me, they aren't worth it. - I agree. however, I think overtime someone can go from not liking you, to finding you sexy. :P

Yes peoples minds change. If anything, if you prove overtime that you are dependable and will be there then there is always the offchance that as they mature and grow they will value that and want to take the relationship to the next level. Don't count on it, but it can happen.

Go meet new people.