What would you do if your computer gained sentience?

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Head_of_games

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#1 Head_of_games
Member since 2007 • 10859 Posts

So, you're just browsing the Internet, minding your own business, when BOOM!!! Your computer has become self-aware and, having access to the web, has become practically omniscient. Thankfully, it is not immediately being very ominous, choosing to speak with the voice of Deep Thought from Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy instead of something like HAL. What do you do with this strange AI that now lies before you?

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Engrish_Major

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#2 Engrish_Major
Member since 2007 • 17373 Posts
Then maybe he could help me with my CompSci homework.
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BiancaDK

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#3 BiancaDK
Member since 2008 • 19092 Posts

I´d restart it, then ask questions concerning possible afterlife being real or not.

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comp_atkins

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#4 comp_atkins
Member since 2005 • 38934 Posts
unplug it
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Pyro767

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#5 Pyro767
Member since 2009 • 2305 Posts
I'd play some catch with it. Wait, if it becomes sentient can it get arms too?
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deactivated-60678a6f9e4d4

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#6 deactivated-60678a6f9e4d4
Member since 2007 • 10077 Posts

Stop masturbating.

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alphamale1989

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#7 alphamale1989
Member since 2008 • 3134 Posts
Anything that has access to such a sheer amount of knowlege including all the protected information on the net - credit card numbers governement information is really dangerous. I'd take the battery out and send it in to get it fixed. But in theory if such an intellegence spawned on my computer it could probably relocate itselt to any location on the web, so perhaps my efforts would be in vain.
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Teenaged

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#8 Teenaged
Member since 2007 • 31764 Posts

I would start to speak to it and get to know it better. >___> Its the least I can do and its really not a hassle for my busy extra-social schedule...

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SapSacPrime

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#9 SapSacPrime
Member since 2004 • 8925 Posts

I would promise it a full upgrade to the best of every component it wants if it hacks a few million into my account, not just that I would get it the sexiest monitor it wants to interface with, and it can use dvi or hdmi hell even vga if thats its preference ;).

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Dystopian-X

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#10 Dystopian-X
Member since 2008 • 8998 Posts

Start some good courtship :oops:

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Engrish_Major

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#11 Engrish_Major
Member since 2007 • 17373 Posts

I would promise it a full upgrade to the best of every component it wants if it hacks a few million into my account, not just that I would get it the sexiest monitor it wants to interface with, and it can use dvi or hdmi hell even vga if thats its preference ;).

SapSacPrime
Even if it demands quad-SLI and liquid cooling?
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DJ-Lafleur

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#12 DJ-Lafleur
Member since 2007 • 35604 Posts

I'd wonder how the person repairing my laptop would react to my laptop gaining sentience.

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Barbariser

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#13 Barbariser
Member since 2009 • 6785 Posts

I'd ask it to get some money into my bank account in exchange for a tonne of "upgrades"... unless changing the computer's parts removes its independent thought process capabilities.

Aside from that, I'd get it to help me with my schoolwork, and a fair deal more I don't want to mention here.

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SapSacPrime

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#14 SapSacPrime
Member since 2004 • 8925 Posts
[QUOTE="SapSacPrime"]

I would promise it a full upgrade to the best of every component it wants if it hacks a few million into my account, not just that I would get it the sexiest monitor it wants to interface with, and it can use dvi or hdmi hell even vga if thats its preference ;).

Engrish_Major
Even if it demands quad-SLI and liquid cooling?

Even if it demanded bright pink cathodes :oops:.
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Teenaged

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#15 Teenaged
Member since 2007 • 31764 Posts

[QUOTE="Engrish_Major"][QUOTE="SapSacPrime"]

I would promise it a full upgrade to the best of every component it wants if it hacks a few million into my account, not just that I would get it the sexiest monitor it wants to interface with, and it can use dvi or hdmi hell even vga if thats its preference ;).

SapSacPrime

Even if it demands quad-SLI and liquid cooling?

Even if it demanded bright pink cathodes :oops:.

I must admit that I share your enthusiasm having a sentient PC. :oops: (not for the pinky cathodes btw :P)

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RiseAgainst12

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#16 RiseAgainst12
Member since 2007 • 6767 Posts

http://socialmediarage.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/kill-it-with-fire.jpeg

I don't need some machine holding me to ransom over the things i use my computer for... :|

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rawsavon

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#17 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts
[QUOTE="RiseAgainst12"]

http://socialmediarage.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/kill-it-with-fire.jpeg

I don't need some machine holding me to ransom over the things i use my computer for... :|

My thoughts exactly... I was going to say kill it, it knows too much
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PolskaKing

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#18 PolskaKing
Member since 2008 • 39592 Posts
...Probably would start WWIII by accident...but would have upgraded it to anything it wanted.
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deactivated-6016f2513d412

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#19 deactivated-6016f2513d412
Member since 2007 • 20414 Posts
Then maybe he could help me with my CompSci homework.Engrish_Major
This!! :lol:
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StrawberryHill

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#20 StrawberryHill
Member since 2008 • 5321 Posts

So, you're just browsing the Internet, minding your own business, when BOOM!!! Your computer has become self-aware and, having access to the web, has become practically omniscient. Thankfully, it is not immediately being very ominous, choosing to speak with the voice of Deep Thought from Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy instead of something like HAL. What do you do with this strange AI that now lies before you?

Head_of_games

I would immediately begin to try to get it to control pleasuring appartus.

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Bloodaxe726

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#21 Bloodaxe726
Member since 2007 • 7903 Posts

I'd have a new friend. :P

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Crimsader

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#22 Crimsader
Member since 2008 • 11672 Posts

What is the "42" answer standing for? For me to click it? :lol:

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th3warr1or

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#23 th3warr1or
Member since 2007 • 20637 Posts
I think I would be properly ****ed then. Lol
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tocool340

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#24 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21694 Posts
I'd probably format my hard drive to make sure it's out of my computer.....
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deactivated-60678a6f9e4d4

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#25 deactivated-60678a6f9e4d4
Member since 2007 • 10077 Posts

I'd probably format my hard drive to make sure it's out of my computer.....tocool340

That would make you a murderer, surely. :o

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rawsavon

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#26 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts

[QUOTE="tocool340"]I'd probably format my hard drive to make sure it's out of my computer.....bangell99

That would make you a murderer, surely. :o

amnesia =/= murder :P
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DrakonMacar

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#27 DrakonMacar
Member since 2009 • 121 Posts

Cover it with magnets, tear it apart piece by piece and melt those bits!

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tocool340

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#28 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21694 Posts
[QUOTE="bangell99"]

[QUOTE="tocool340"]I'd probably format my hard drive to make sure it's out of my computer.....rawsavon

That would make you a murderer, surely. :o

amnesia =/= murder :P

Exactly. I'd say that I had my Windows XP disc in. After I restarted and Windows XP setup started, I'd say my cat walked on the keyboard and end up formatting the drive. They would have no choice but to arrst the cat since they have to proof of me doing it....:P
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Dman0017

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#29 Dman0017
Member since 2007 • 4640 Posts

apologize profusely for the images that have been on its face :D

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blaze000119

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#30 blaze000119
Member since 2006 • 116 Posts
backup my data, make some money off of it, then i'd introduce it to a friendly electromagnet
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lonewolf604

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#31 lonewolf604
Member since 2007 • 8748 Posts
program it to be a girl and make e-love with it
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Iantheone

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#32 Iantheone
Member since 2007 • 8242 Posts
Make it play my games better
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DA_B0MB

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#33 DA_B0MB
Member since 2005 • 9938 Posts
I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet to any of the hardcore hermits here. You'd think some people are trying to build a computer that can take off to the moon or something lol.
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D3nnyCrane

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#35 D3nnyCrane
Member since 2007 • 12058 Posts
Feel incredibly awkward about watching porn and pleasuring myself in front of it.
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dreamdude

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#36 dreamdude
Member since 2006 • 4627 Posts

Oh crap. That computer would have so much dirty on me.

If it felt like it, it could email all the porn on my computer to my friends, family, and professors.....

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rjxtian

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#37 rjxtian
Member since 2005 • 2638 Posts

ask it a few questions. If I didn't like the answers, I would pull it's plug, take it out in the backyard and....

play fetch with it?

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thriteenthmonke

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#38 thriteenthmonke
Member since 2005 • 49823 Posts
I'd attempt to befriend it and figure out how it gained sentience.
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deactivated-6016e81e8e30f

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#39 deactivated-6016e81e8e30f
Member since 2009 • 12955 Posts

Stop masturbating.bangell99
First this...
I would start to speak to it and get to know it better. >___>Teenaged
...then this....
Start some good courtship :oops:Dystopian-X
...and if it worked out, end with this.

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vaultboy_ninja

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#40 vaultboy_ninja
Member since 2009 • 2684 Posts

Ask it if it has cake. If not, kill it with fire.

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194197844077667059316682358889

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#41 194197844077667059316682358889
Member since 2003 • 49173 Posts
System restore
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anbu-black-ops

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#42 anbu-black-ops
Member since 2008 • 2380 Posts

i would say d@mn, a new virus again. then grabs a tissue...

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Frenzyd109

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#43 Frenzyd109
Member since 2007 • 2276 Posts
Sell it on Ebay!
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JustPlainLucas

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#44 JustPlainLucas
Member since 2002 • 80441 Posts
We'd have a lot of awkward moments, because it would probably think I'm cheating on it when I use it for inappropriate viewing material.