why can't i be seen as both white and black instead of grouped as one?

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

You aren't the first person to ask this that I've seen. In fact, both mixed black women I've actually gotten to know and talk to, but say the same thing, that it's hard to live life when you don't feel like you fit into either culture directly.

I can't imagine going through that, as I am about as white as it comes. But at least there are others going through the same thing, perhaps some that may post in this thread.

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

FrenchDynasty

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

FrenchDynasty

Your father was right, you will be seen by black by the majority of the world. There's nothing you can do to change that. Personally I don't see your problem, your mad because you don't feel accepted by white people?ice144

Not at all, I've been called things like a half breed and this that and the other. Its just confusing man, the world turns a blind eye and just lumps you in as being part of one group even though you're not just one race. I don't have a problem with being seen as a Black man at all. It just sucks always being stereotyped based on appearance

You shouldnt let what people think get to you and just be yourself. Being biracial myself, ive always had people just label me as just black, and while i dont find it offensive to be called black, as it is apart of me, it gets annoying when people, because of that, assume i like rap music, are shocked when i tell them like rock, and the other things about me that dont fit the black male stereotype.

The world is getting more understanding to the concept of being biracial, as i remember before with standardized test and forms, for race the choices there was only black,white, hispanic, native american, and asian, it was only pretty recently that most added the two or more race option.

The good ole' "One Drop" rule. Not that I necessarily agree, but this is how society seems to see it.

Well if your mixed wouldnt it be hard to be grouped with one or the other?

You shouldnt let what people think get to you and just be yourself. Being biracial myself, ive always had people just label me as just black, and while i dont find it offensive to be called black, as it is apart of me, it gets annoying when people, because of that, assume i like rap music, are shocked when i tell them like rock, and the other things about me that dont fit the black male stereotype.

The world is getting more understanding to the concept of being biracial, as i remember before with standardized test and forms, for race the choices there was only black,white, hispanic, native american, and asian, it was only pretty recently that most added the two or more race option.

marcl18123

This is the answer to your question. Kudos marcl

The only reason I can think of why people want to put you in one category, is because people like to identify with something they already know. Biracial people are not too awfully common, so when someone meets you their more likely going to put you in a category they feel comfortable with, be it white or black. As far as fitting in, well, that's something you have to decide for yourself. Maybe that's the beauty of being in the position your in, you can fit in with both groups without feeling a little out of place in either one, but then again I have no idea how you feel as far as that goes. All I can tell you is to be proud of what you are, because God made you that way for a reason.

The only reason I can think of why people want to put you in one category, is because people like to identify with something they already know. Biracial people are not too awfully commonBATTOSAI76

They're hardly a rarity. I see biracial folks everyday and I'm willing to bet most everyone else does too.

[QUOTE="BATTOSAI76"]

The only reason I can think of why people want to put you in one category, is because people like to identify with something they already know. Biracial people are not too awfully commonworlock77

They're hardly a rarity. I see biracial folks everyday and I'm willing to bet most everyone else does too.

Well in all fairness I don't live in the city, most days I only see my family. I don't get out too much.:P

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

FrenchDynasty

it sounds like you want to assign some title to yourself that isn't necessary. would you feel better if you were green because your parents were yellow and blue?

just be whoever you are and the world will see that.

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

FrenchDynasty

If you have dark skin, and your father is black, you are black too. I have a friend in the exact same situation, and he considers himself black because that's what he looks like. My mom is white and my dad is hispanic. I look white so that's what I consider myself. Personally I wouldn't want to be called mixed. I'd rather be one or the other.

I thought it was based on what your mom is.

Not completly relevant to your question but i think it should be said.

The so called issue of stereotyping where people assume things based on your looks is a matter of life. People are bound to make alot of assumptions, we do it all the time. The stereotyping goes far beyond skin color, thing like hair, clothes even bone structure are bound to cause these assumptions. A stereotype is a complete package.

The problem with stereotyping and assumptions is that so much people think they are bad. But in the vast majority of the cases stereotyping isn't intended as a offense, assumptions are actually benificial to social contact as it makes bonding, especially first contact easier.

So in short, it's natural for people to have assumptions about others and it is natural for these assumptions to be heavily influenced by the environment they grew up in. The fact that assumptions are so environmental based is a curious matter, as the assumptions says alot about the person who makes the assumption.

Anyway, in your personal case.
Quite a bit of people grow up in a place where there isn't a real balance between races, people are bound to make stupid assumptions in such cases. You shouldn't feel bad about it. If you were white and grew up in the same conditions then you would have made the same assumptions.

You shouldnt let what people think get to you and just be yourself. Being biracial myself, ive always had people just label me as just black, and while i dont find it offensive to be called black, as it is apart of me, it gets annoying when people, because of that, assume i like rap music, are shocked when i tell them like rock, and the other things about me that dont fit the black male stereotype.

The world is getting more understanding to the concept of being biracial, as i remember before with standardized test and forms, for race the choices there was only black,white, hispanic, native american, and asian, it was only pretty recently that most added the two or more race option.

marcl18123

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

FrenchDynasty

[QUOTE="FrenchDynasty"]

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

ROFLCOPTER603

If you have dark skin, and your father is black, you are black too. I have a friend in the exact same situation, and he considers himself black because that's what he looks like. My mom is white and my dad is hispanic. I look white so that's what I consider myself. Personally I wouldn't want to be called mixed. I'd rather be one or the other.

[QUOTE="ROFLCOPTER603"]

[QUOTE="FrenchDynasty"]

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

Fuhgeddabouditt

If you have dark skin, and your father is black, you are black too. I have a friend in the exact same situation, and he considers himself black because that's what he looks like. My mom is white and my dad is hispanic. I look white so that's what I consider myself. Personally I wouldn't want to be called mixed. I'd rather be one or the other.

He himself is from Venezuela but his family is all Spanish.

Unfortunately your father is right. Society will see you as black though you are technically just as white as you are black. Look at our president for example, people consider him black though he is actually mixed. Tauruslink

Actually, if you are dark, then that means that you got more "black"alleles (may be wrong word) than "white" alleles.

Edit: Which makes you black.

I didn't have a problem with it...but that's probably because I grew up around black people who didn't care about that sort of thing. However, once I got around some white people in a country area (my second middle school and first highschool), they were all about some racist stuff. It was odd and kind of pathetic. Whrn I was little, my mom told me that this sort of thing would happen. So when it first happened, it was sort of like seeing the situation from 3rd person.

Also, yes, the majority will view you as black. It's just how people do this.

I'd categorize that as bi-racial. On the other hand....I don't consider race when dealing with people. I go by character.

[QUOTE="FrenchDynasty"]

My whole life, I've always been grouped as one or the other. In elementary school I went to school in a town that was 97% white and because my skin is light brown I was always grouped as black. I am a mulatto, now I realize some people might find that term offensive but keep in mind that I'm only using it because its more clear than just saying biracial. My father is black and my mother is white, its always seemed as though my dad tried to tell me I was only Black and always told me things like thats all the world will ever see you as, rather than mixed. All I want is to not be treated as one or the other, or stereotyped as one or the other but to have some balance in my life and be treated as mixed which is what I am.

So my question is this, why is it so hard for some mixed race people to find acceptance/ find a culture they can fit in with?

bbkkristian

yeah because in America, that term "mulatto" isnt used often. If Obama was in Cuba or w/e, he would be known as a Mulatto.

[QUOTE="Tauruslink"]Unfortunately your father is right. Society will see you as black though you are technically just as white as you are black. Look at our president for example, people consider him black though he is actually mixed. ROFLCOPTER603

Actually, if you are dark, then that means that you got more "black"alleles (may be wrong word) than "white" alleles.

Edit: Which makes you black.

Dark as in not white? or dark as in dark brown? I never heard that before lol :P