Seriously, why do some(for the benefit of the doubt of the possibility that the majority are not like that) girls have this attitude like they will tell you they're pissed or annoyed with you, but they won't tell you why and if you ask they'll just say to leave them alone(sounds rather freaky tbh, imagine Smeagol saying "LEAVE US ALONE!!"). But in all seriousness, why are they like that, do you have those problems and how do you deal with that? Just 'leaving it be' doesn't really help because it may help for that day, for that week or even that month. But there'll come a time when you don't know what or why you're doing something wrongly and they're annoyed and they'll just explode and tell you to GTFO permanently. This in itself annoys me to be honest.
I kinda know what you mean. I had this all the time.A girl is sitting somewhere.Just looking down,and I ask her 'something wrong',she replies...'no'...In the beginning I kept insisting and eventually she told me. But now...Something wrong?...No...Okay fine.That's it.
If said girl is a significant other, the best idea is to just be as nice to them as possible, do crap for them, be pleasant and upbeat, etc. You'll never guess what she's pissed about, but doing this is probably the next best thing, since it'll take some of the heat off of you while also encouraging her to open up.
That's part of the fun. But usually, their mode of thinking is that we should know what is wrong and the fact that we have to ask what is wrong infuriates them even more.
My best friend has the best way to deal with this. As he is about to enter a relationship he says to his prospective girlfriend, "If you are mad at me, you must tell me. I am a guy and I do not know what I have done. If you don't tell me what I did then I won't know to fix it and if I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing then I will believe you." He usually ends it with, "I don't care if you're mad at me and I won't get defensive if you tell me I did something wrong but I can't fix it if I don't know what you're mad about."
I just bug the crap out of my girl until she tells me. Then I tell her to shuddup. HA!
I'm guilty of this. u___u + I'm not even sure why I do it. Usually because I don't have the energy, and I know that I'm just going to overreact if I get in to a "talk" about it. When the offender, shall we say, leaves me alone I can calm down and rationalize everything. However. It annoys me more than anything when the person keeps on pressing the issue. :l
Jeez lmao, I'm looking at all of your replies as well and I feel a lot better all of a sudden... What's worse tbh is the said girl involved isn't a significant other.. it's just a friend, who suddenly said that my attitude annoys her on a regular basis.. Wow. Then when I ask her what aspect does, she refuses to say anything and asks me to stop bugging her and crap..
My best friend has the best way to deal with this. As he is about to enter a relationship he says to his prospective girlfriend, "If you are mad at me, you must tell me. I am a guy and I do not know what I have done. If you don't tell me what I did then I won't know to fix it and if I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing then I will believe you." He usually ends it with, "I don't care if you're mad at me and I won't get defensive if you tell me I did something wrong but I can't fix it if I don't know what you're mad about."
I just bug the crap out of my girl until she tells me. Then I tell her to shuddup. HA!
AustXilo
That there is pure awesome! Your friend is a genius!
Jeez lmao, I'm looking at all of your replies as well and I feel a lot better all of a sudden... What's worse tbh is the said girl involved isn't a significant other.. it's just a friend, who suddenly said that my attitude annoys her on a regular basis.. Wow. Then when I ask her what aspect does, she refuses to say anything and asks me to stop bugging her and crap..th3warr1or
Have you considered that maybe she is hormonal, and doesnt herself know what is up with her but is quite happy to fight about it anyway?
My best friend has the best way to deal with this. As he is about to enter a relationship he says to his prospective girlfriend, "If you are mad at me, you must tell me. I am a guy and I do not know what I have done. If you don't tell me what I did then I won't know to fix it and if I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing then I will believe you." He usually ends it with, "I don't care if you're mad at me and I won't get defensive if you tell me I did something wrong but I can't fix it if I don't know what you're mad about."
I just bug the crap out of my girl until she tells me. Then I tell her to shuddup. HA!
clyde46
That there is pure awesome! Your friend is a genius!
All he's doing is rationalising the situation. That can make it ten times worse if she has some defense mechanisms prepared. It can be one word that trips the switch and enables a counter attack :o
In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?spazzx625
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse.
[QUOTE="th3warr1or"]Jeez lmao, I'm looking at all of your replies as well and I feel a lot better all of a sudden... What's worse tbh is the said girl involved isn't a significant other.. it's just a friend, who suddenly said that my attitude annoys her on a regular basis.. Wow. Then when I ask her what aspect does, she refuses to say anything and asks me to stop bugging her and crap..gingefails
Have you considered that maybe she is hormonal, and doesnt herself know what is up with her but is quite happy to fight about it anyway?
Yes, but Jeez, for god's sake know I know why relationships(friendship or otherwise) end. When you act like your bugged, and tell me that you're bugged WITH me, but refuse to disclose the reason, that annoys me. I'd rather have a unreasonable reason than a crappy reason. An unreasonable reason would be "I can't stand the way you're talking to me, I'm not your buddy whom you can insult randomly and laugh about it" even though you're not doing anything wrong. A crappy reason would be "I can't stand the way you act [but i'm not gonna tell you how you act or which part of it I don't like because you're supposed to figure it out] ".
My best friend has the best way to deal with this. As he is about to enter a relationship he says to his prospective girlfriend, "If you are mad at me, you must tell me. I am a guy and I do not know what I have done. If you don't tell me what I did then I won't know to fix it and if I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing then I will believe you." He usually ends it with, "I don't care if you're mad at me and I won't get defensive if you tell me I did something wrong but I can't fix it if I don't know what you're mad about."
I just bug the crap out of my girl until she tells me. Then I tell her to shuddup. HA!
clembo1990
That there is pure awesome! Your friend is a genius!
All he's doing is rationalising the situation. That can make it ten times worse if she has some defense mechanisms prepared. It can be one word that trips the switch and enables a counter attack :o Aye, thats true. Man girls are scary when they're mad! :O
[QUOTE="spazzx625"]In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?tofu-lion91
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. I can't speak for everyone, but I usually am singing the Meow Mix song in my head when my girlfriend is yelling at me.
[QUOTE="spazzx625"]In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?tofu-lion91
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr.
[QUOTE="spazzx625"]In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?tofu-lion91
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. I think most of the time lads are flying blind and will only react when they hit something so to speak. But growing up in a house where your the only male, you begin to pick up on the sublite things. Not always but most of the time. If you dont then your in a one hell of a time.
[QUOTE="tofu-lion91"][QUOTE="spazzx625"]In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?gingefails
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr. I've seen many a relationship break down after that happens.
[QUOTE="tofu-lion91"][QUOTE="spazzx625"]In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?gingefails
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr. seems someone has trust issues
[QUOTE="tofu-lion91"][QUOTE="spazzx625"]In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?gingefails
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr. See, but at least you tell him WHY you're mad.. whether he understands it is another thing, but some girls don't even say why they're mad. They just let you know in the vaguest terms possible that they can muster that "they're angry" and that's it.
[QUOTE="comp_atkins"][QUOTE="gingefails"][QUOTE="tofu-lion91"] It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr. seems someone has trust issues Not really, when your drunk you cant really control what you do.
[QUOTE="spazzx625"] I can't speak for everyone, but I usually am singing the]Meow Mix song in my head when my girlfriend is yelling at me. Lol! Hero thinks about monkeys or starts humming music... He's always got his headphones in so I know he's not listening half the time. Men do that frustrating thing of hearing but not listening to women :P [QUOTE="gingefails"] Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr. Wow I'd have hit the roof. I'm pretty tolerant with Hero though - he's been in love with one of his best mates since secondary school and when he texts me saying she's round I get a tad jealous but I'm not gonna stop him from seeing her. I've just gotta trust him :| I know some girls who would ban him from seeing/speaking to her. It does put me off a bit going round and seeing her initials which are CARVED into his wall :| Still there's not much I can do...I just hope he's over her. I mean she's got a bf and he's got me but if there's one person I'd put money on him cheating on me with it's her. Oh and men do the "I'm pissed but I'm not telling you" thing too. My ex used to get in moods and say stuff like "Argh I'm so upset right now" and when I'd ask why he wouldn't tell me. I HATE that - either tell me what's wrong or don't saying anything. Gawd I hated him, he used to pick on me to start an arguement if we hadn't had one for that night. My mum would come home from work everyday and see me crying my eyes out about something he'd said :|
[QUOTE="gingefails"][QUOTE="comp_atkins"] seems someone has trust issues Perhaps a little. :P Everyone does. No matter how much you trust your partner, when they say they're off to a party there's always a niggling thought in the back of your head saying "What if...?" It's just how you deal with it that matters. If you ban them from parties then that's a trust issue IMO.
[QUOTE="harashawn"][QUOTE="clyde46"] Not really, when your drunk you cant really control what you do. But you can control how drunk you get. ;) Nah, not really. I remember getting very drunk and nearly throwing up, I drunk more just to wash it down, that's the last thing I remembered but I was told I drank a lot more.
[QUOTE="tofu-lion91"][QUOTE="gingefails"] Perhaps a little. :P Everyone does. No matter how much you trust your partner, when they say they're off to a party there's always a niggling thought in the back of your head saying "What if...?" It's just how you deal with it that matters. If you ban them from parties then that's a trust issue IMO. Agreed. I've been told I can't go to *this* event or *that* gathering, and it doesn't take long to crack a relationship in half. That "niggling" sensation just helps you from being walked all over, I guess. If you never, ever doubted their loyalty ever then the option to take advantage of that is very much there.
[QUOTE="tofu-lion91"] Oh and men do the "I'm pissed but I'm not telling you" thing too. My ex used to get in moods and say stuff like "Argh I'm so upset right now" and when I'd ask why he wouldn't tell me. I think the main cause of that is we want to talk about it, but we often have too much pride to do so.
[QUOTE="spazzx625"] I can't speak for everyone, but I usually am singing the]Meow Mix song in my head when my girlfriend is yelling at me.tofu-lion91
Lol! Hero thinks about monkeys or starts humming music... He's always got his headphones in so I know he's not listening half the time. Men do that frustrating thing of hearing but not listening to women :P
Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr.gingefails
Wow I'd have hit the roof. I'm pretty tolerant with Hero though - he's been in love with one of his best mates since secondary school and when he texts me saying she's round I get a tad jealous but I'm not gonna stop him from seeing her. I've just gotta trust him :| I know some girls who would ban him from seeing/speaking to her. It does put me off a bit going round and seeing her initials which are CARVED into his wall :| Still there's not much I can do...I just hope he's over her. I mean she's got a bf and he's got me but if there's one person I'd put money on him cheating on me with it's her. Oh and men do the "I'm pissed but I'm not telling you" thing too. My ex used to get in moods and say stuff like "Argh I'm so upset right now" and when I'd ask why he wouldn't tell me. I HATE that - either tell me what's wrong or don't saying anything. Gawd I hated him, he used to pick on me to start an arguement if we hadn't had one for that night. My mum would come home from work everyday and see me crying my eyes out about something he'd said :|
That guy sounds like a complete douche. It really really pisses me off when guys do things like that to girls.
[QUOTE="clyde46"][QUOTE="comp_atkins"][QUOTE="gingefails"] Yeah, again, I'm agreeing with you. My bf couldn't understand why I was angry about him having a "private" chat in a bathroom with one of my female friends after I'd left the party. A party in which everyone was drunk. I was so full of rage I couldn't bring myself to speak to him, and got texts saying I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. He just couldn't see that it was SLIGHTLY unacceptable. Grrr. seems someone has trust issues Not really, when your drunk you cant really control what you do. bravo sierra. being drunk does not give someone carte blanche.. they still have to account for your behavior.
[QUOTE="comp_atkins"][QUOTE="clyde46"][QUOTE="comp_atkins"] seems someone has trust issues Not really, when your drunk you cant really control what you do. bravo sierra. being drunk does not give someone carte blanche.. they still have to account for your behavior. Yes I agree there. But at the time you cant really control what you do. When your sober, then it really hits the fan as you find out what happened last night.
Well sometimes when I get annoyed, i keep it to myself and i try not to drag others into my issues.
I need to change that though, if people want to help, I should let them
Cutekitten6_18
The thing is it's okay if you keep stuff that isn't related to us a secret.. But what irritates me is when a girl(friends or otherwise) make it clear that they are annoyed with me, but refuse to disclose the reasons and expect me to work it out.
Well sometimes when I get annoyed, i keep it to myself and i try not to drag others into my issues.
I need to change that though, if people want to help, I should let them
th3warr1or
The thing is it's okay if you keep stuff that isn't related to us a secret.. But what irritates me is when a girl(friends or otherwise) make it clear that they are annoyed with me, but refuse to disclose the reasons and expect me to work it out.
If I'm annoyerd about someone, i'll let them know if they want :P
Just be like "I know something is up but unless you tell me I don't know that the problem is and I can't fix it. If you don't want to tell me then don't you dare complain about it later cause I'm offering to listen to you know."
[QUOTE="tofu-lion91"][QUOTE="spazzx625"]In my experience it's because we're supposed to know what we did wrong. :?spazzx625
It is. Some things can be blatently obvious to girls, but lads will have no idea. It's pretty frustrating being a girl tbh, because you literally have to spell things out for lads. The only apologies I've got from Hero is when I've ASKED for an apology, otherwise he'd just do what lads think they should do and leave me alone which actually makes things worse. I can't speak for everyone, but I usually am singing the Meow Mix song in my head when my girlfriend is yelling at me. :lol: I should try that next time.
Well sometimes when I get annoyed, i keep it to myself and i try not to drag others into my issues.
I need to change that though, if people want to help, I should let them
Cutekitten6_18
The thing is it's okay if you keep stuff that isn't related to us a secret.. But what irritates me is when a girl(friends or otherwise) make it clear that they are annoyed with me, but refuse to disclose the reasons and expect me to work it out.
If I'm annoyerd about someone, i'll let them know if they want :P
Which solves a lot of problems, because firstly if we had any intention of changing, this speeds the process up. And even if telling me what the problem is doesn't make you feel better, chances are like I said, if I had any intention of changing(most probably when I ask I do), it will help to prevent me from repeating it. But the major and annoying bit(sometimes girls think that they're the only ones annoyed) is when you let me know in no uncertain terms that the problem is with me(i'm fine with that) but you refuse to disclose what the problem is exactly and then do the "leeaaveee meee aloneeee" thing.
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