Why is it so hard to approach women/girls?

I know this isn't a dating website but you guys are seriously the ones who give me the most help and no this isn't just another girl thread, this is from my own personal experience so here is my story

I am 18 years old and a freshman in college. I broke up with my long term girlfriend who was basically my first real girlfriend in the summer and we went out for 2 1/2 years. I am a very fit guy and work out a lot but lack a 6 pack and a lot of people consider me attractive. I used to be great approaching girls when school started because no one knew each other but now that everyone is in their own cliques, I am sadly back to step one. I decided that I would gather a group of friends and go back to what we did when we were in highschool and try to pick up girls at the mall. Sadly we are horrible at approaching them and have no idea what to say to them.

Basically my problem is that I have such a hard time approaching a girl because of the fact that I might get rejected and the fact that my approach might be the reason for the rejection.

So now I ask you gamespot guys, what are the best ways to approach girls at the mall, bookstore, coffee shop, football games and school (not class but around campus)

Why worry about getting rejected? You've got nothing to lose now.

Hi! my name is, what? My name is, who? My name is, fikifiki Slim Shady.

Why worry about getting rejected? You've got nothing to lose now.

pinneyapple

my dignity :(

You have nothing to lose but everything to gain if you succeed.
Also thinking of girls as something else besides just people might be hurting you as well.
You dont have to act a specific way to win a girl over, and if you do than she likes you for the wrong reason.
Or am I wrong?

As for how specificaly to approach a girl, I havent the slightest clue =P

I haven't got a clue how to pick up. =/

dude, I've got two words for you. self confidence. most women that I know like confident guys. Not me, though, I prefer guys who are insecure and easy to bend to my will..bwa ha! ...err oops, I think Ive said too much. >.>Allicrombie

dude, I've got two words for you. self confidence. most women that I know like confident guys. Not me, though, I prefer guys who are insecure and easy to bend to my will..bwa ha! ...err oops, I think Ive said too much. >.>Allicrombie

I've tried acting confident but when I do people say that they get misleaded and say that I act like I like myself too much...

dude, I've got two words for you. self confidence. most women that I know like confident guys. Not me, though, I prefer guys who are insecure and easy to bend to my will..bwa ha! ...err oops, I think Ive said too much. >.>Allicrombie

Too bad that plan tends to backfire, seeing as insecure people often become human leaches.

Get em' off me!!

Read this book

[QUOTE="Allicrombie"]dude, I've got two words for you. self confidence. most women that I know like confident guys. Not me, though, I prefer guys who are insecure and easy to bend to my will..bwa ha! ...err oops, I think Ive said too much. >.>Im-not-normal

Too bad that plan tends to backfire, seeing as insecure people often become human leaches.

Get em' off me!!

Find something in common and just go on from there.

While I'm 19 and have never had a girlfriend, most of my friends are female and I tend to go out with them a couple times a week, so I get to know what they do and don't like. Find something in common. For example, all my female friends are people who work for the same company as I do. Basically we start talking in the lunchroom, then after a good conversation I get their numbers and message them back later that night.

My problem is not getting in, but it's making the move from being friends into something more.

Stalking usually works, PMs are a good way to remain anonymous unless she tells everything to her friends in that case then they start making fun you ;D Quote her every post too.

Now really

I decided that I would gather a group of friends and go back to what we did when we were in highschool and try to pick up girls at the mall. Sadly we are horrible at approaching them and have no idea what to say to them.

This is where it goes wrong, I recommend against the "blunt approach" unless you are really interesting and/or have something interesting to talk about. I personally prefer to let it happen in most situations than trying too hard to push for a convo. Anything can be a convo starter-follow up in that case, a school subject, work w/e.

If your afraid of getting rejected then a nice way to get over that is to get a group of friends together and everyone put in 10 dollars bets and whoever gets the most rejections that night wins the money. Your going in trying to get rejected and after so many you just don't care anymore, at least I didn't. This game seemed to fix my confidence when asking girls out though. May or may not work for you.

I don't approach girls, They approach me 8)

Ive never had an asian girl approach me though........omg the asians hate me:(

Read this book

MrLions

I'm not sure if the mall is the best place to pick up girls.Pvt_r3d

forcefield, yo

just give up now, TC

forcefield, yo

just give up now, TC

I guess you just be yourself and go for it, what else can you do? You're just a man.

While I was looking at games at Wal Mart some girls were talking about how they need a wireless thingy for Xbox Live, I told them sold them at EB Games. They thanked me. No big deal.

Your not using the right appoarch!

Don't sweat it. Every guy gets it is called Approach Anxiety. You said it yourself you get scared because you are scared you will get 'rejected'. When a girl says no to a guy all of a sudden this becomes "cold blooded absolute anhilation rejection'. But it's not, you've never met her before this and you will be exactly the same without her. The secret to attracting girls is to be confident and you will be confident when approaching if you don't really care about the outcome. Try practicing by just saying a small compliment or critique (e.g. your shoes don't match your top)to every girl who walks by. Yes, a critique, your not out to make friends you are out to build confidence in approaches. Then practice approaching store workers because they have to be nice or else they are fired. Then do the same to older ladies (they were hot once and WILL be a lot harsher than young ones). Soon enough you will have to work on real approaches but if you practice all the steps your AA will not be a factor nearly as long.

forcefield, yo

just give up now, TC

BiancaDK

HAHAHHAHAHAAHA omg this made me lol so much

seriously, you should just give up now. this is what they call an absolute defense.

Your not using the right appoarch!

clyde46

Or alternatively...

Almost as good....Just...don't bump into her.

[QUOTE="Pvt_r3d"]

I'm not sure if the mall is the best place to pick up girls.rawsavon

2. You need to be confident, but not arrogant...and comfortable with yourself and what you are saying (no stupid lines)(Openers can work and make things easier on the guy, but not the stupid ones)-just go up and talk -ask to buy a drink (when of age) (NEVER BUY HER A DRINK!!!!)-ask for a dance(don't ask for a dance, remember she is not looking to do you any favours or be your personal charity. Say: "I want you to dance with me" or "lets go dance".)

3. Be prepared for rejection (But don't expect it, this will show through in your tone and body language. Instead feel as if you don't need her and are completely indifferent to what the outcome is, but still be confident/funny)-what is the worst that can happen...she does not want to dance...big deal -but most girls will at least humor a guy with a dance if they ask

4. Don't be a creeper -look interested not creepy

5. Pay attention to(your) body language -if you have any social intelligence at all, it is pretty easy to tell when someone is interested -look at arms, eyes, lips, stance, etc.

Tough to read...change your font colorrawsavon

[QUOTE="rawsavon"][QUOTE="Pvt_r3d"]I'm not sure if the mall is the best place to pick up girls.metalpower08

1.TC is not confident enough...hence the post
-that is why I suggested what I did...start in the baby pool, don't throw him in the deep end

2. I said no stupid lines...if you have something that original and funny, by all means...but me thinks that this is not the case with TC...better to say nothing at all than something stupid

3. Girls buy me drink s all the time, and me for them
-works for me...don't know, maybe different where you live

4. I always say "would you like to dance"...out of hundreds of times, been turned down less than 10 (usually because of BF)

5. I said be prepared, not expect...there is a huge difference...I am prepared for all outcomes, but do not expect all outcomes
-he should be prepared when he is shot down
-I said to be confident earlierin my post

6. I never said not to pay attention to your own body language
-but he will be better attuned to what the girl is thinking if he pays attention to her body language

[QUOTE="metalpower08"]

[QUOTE="rawsavon"] I agree with this After HS, the mallis not the best place 1.(Daygaming works if you are confident enough because they are not expecting it). It is all about you and the environment. 1. Try going to places where girls expect to be approached...like the bar, club, etc. -they know guys are going to talk to them...socially acceptable and psychologically prepared 2. You need to be confident, but not arrogant...and comfortable with yourself and what you are saying (no stupid lines)2(Openers can work and make things easier on the guy, but not the stupid ones)-just go up and talk -ask to buy a drink (when of age)3(NEVER BUY HER A DRINK!!!!)-ask for a dance(4don't ask for a dance, remember she is not looking to do you any favours or be your personal charity. Say: "I want you to dance with me" or "lets go dance".)3. 5Be prepared for rejection (But don't expect it, this will show through in your tone and body language. Instead feel as if you don't need her and are completely indifferent to what the outcome is, but still be confident/funny)-what is the worst that can happen...she does not want to dance...big deal -but most girls will at least humor a guy with a dance if they ask 4. Don't be a creeper -look interested not creepy 5. Pay attention to(6your) body language -if you have any social intelligence at all, it is pretty easy to tell when someone is interested -look at arms, eyes, lips, stance, etc.rawsavon

1.TC is not confident enough...hence the post
-that is why I suggested what I did...start in the baby pool, don't throw him in the deep end

2. I said no stupid lines...if you have something that original and funny, by all means...but me thinks that this is not the case with TC...better to say nothing at all than something stupid

3. Girls buy me drink s all the time, and me for them
-works for me...don't know, maybe different where you live

4. I always say "would you like to dance"...out of hundreds of times, been turned down less than 10 (usually because of BF)

5. I said be prepared, not expect...there is a huge difference...I am prepared for all outcomes, but do not expect all outcomes
-he should be prepared when he is shot down
-I said to be confident earlierin my post

6. I never said not to pay attention to your own body language
-but he will be better attuned to what the girl is thinking if he pays attention to her body language

ya I realise what you were trying to say I was just attempting to re-interpret and add a couple of things, most of my points weren't disagreeing with yours. and about number 3, that means that you were already in the clear.I meant don't go up to them and try to buy them a drink as part of the pick-upuntil they have clearly accepted you, or else it seems like you are trying to bribe her to just talk to you.

ya I realise what you were trying to say I was just attempting to re-interpret and add a couple of things, most of my points weren't disagreeing with yours. and about number 3, that means that you were already in the clear.I meant don't go up to them and try to buy them a drink as part of the pick-upuntil they have clearly accepted you, or else it seems like you are trying to bribe her to just talk to you.

metalpower08

Im so sorry to tell you this, but dont be stupid.. There's nothing wrong for being rejected sometime, you're not "losing your dignitiy" for being rejected.. for gods sake.

Not because you're Mr.Handsome means every girl in the world will be at your feet.

Believe me, there's nothing to lose by asking someone out... NOTHING.

And sorry for being such an ass but your comment really pissed me off.

I have to laugh at all these rules and tips.
Really, there is only one mistake that i see people make time and again.

You treat someone like they are Your only hope. Your one shot at a nice life.
Seriously.
On a normal day You are maybe meeting 10 perfect partners without being aware of it.
Stop acting like this is all-in. She is just one of many.
If You get that silly idea out of Your mind that someone is absolutely perfect for You, and the only one at that.. Then You can't go wrong.
They either like You or they don't, it's as simple as that.

No weird rules or tricks. That's all there is to it.
Seriously that is the best advice i have ever heard when it comes to finding a partner, and it works for others.
Yes i am single, but i haven't been looking.