Why the hurry to get a girlfriend?

So, I'm 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend. Many people would probably find that very weird, but I ask why? There are kids in their early teens (and even younger) who get involved in love and finding girlfriends/boyfriends. And what happens to most of them? They break up after a while, sometimes tears are shed, and they find someone else and it usually repeats. So why even go through that? It's like kids are just dating for fun or play.

But anway, as I said I'm 20 and never had a girfriend, and I'm not really interested in getting one right now. So I ask of you, OT, do you think that's weird?

Have you gone out on any dates with girls?

(Technically not having a girlfriend)

Have you gone out on any dates with girls?

(Technically not having a girlfriend)

Shake_N_Bake4

No, no dates or anything.

Sounds a bit odd to me, but hey i'm no judge. Speaking of myself I couldn't think of anything other than girls, girls, girls for my entire teen years.mfp16

Heh well I suppose most teens can't :P But I think only true love can only show at a mature age, like late teens at the earliest.

There are different perks of having a girlfriend depending on the type of person you go out with.
I do think alot of younger people go out nowadays for fun because they arent neccessarily looking fora lifelongpartneror anythingbut more a companion, someone they can have fun with. While its not my cup of tea, I can understand some of the people who go from person to person in their dating life.
It may hurt when its over, but in a girlfriend or boyfriend you can find that which otherwise would have remained hidden from you.

[QUOTE="Shake_N_Bake4"]

Have you gone out on any dates with girls?

(Technically not having a girlfriend)

No, no dates or anything.

Well I personally like the companionship. I like knowing someone out there cares about me and the physical aspect is always great as well. Its like having a really close friend that can give you more than a friend can give. But to each his own I suppose.

Although it is good pratice to start dating when you're a young teen most people don't get serious relationship until they're probably young adults.

Oh ok im not one to judge (i have the same feeling as you right now) but you should try to go out on a date at least or something my personal opinionShake_N_Bake4

Well, that's my point. I don't want to get involved in it right now as I have other goals in life. Besides, I have no job and still live with my mom. Who would want to date that?

Its good practice for the rest of your life. Also, whats wrong with feeling wanted, even if its just for a little while.majoras_wrath

But how does having a girlfriend at the age of 12 benefit you?

The thing i love about relationships is the kissing, thats when you know someone really likes you or even loves you

It helps self-esteem and boosts confidence

overall it makes you a happier person

There are different perks of having a girlfriend depending on the type of person you go out with.
I do think alot of younger people go out nowadays for fun because they arent neccessarily looking fora lifelongpartneror anythingbut more a companion, someone they can have fun with. While its not my cup of tea, I can understand some of the people who go from person to person in their dating life.
It may hurt when its over, but in a girlfriend or boyfriend you can find that which otherwise would have remained hidden from you.

MuddVader

I don't understand. Why do you need a girlfriend for a companion? Can't your companion(s) be anyone regardless of age or gender?

[QUOTE="MuddVader"]

There are different perks of having a girlfriend depending on the type of person you go out with.
I do think alot of younger people go out nowadays for fun because they arent neccessarily looking fora lifelongpartneror anythingbut more a companion, someone they can have fun with. While its not my cup of tea, I can understand some of the people who go from person to person in their dating life.
It may hurt when its over, but in a girlfriend or boyfriend you can find that which otherwise would have remained hidden from you.

dog64

I don't understand. Why do you need a girlfriend for a companion? Can't your companion(s) be anyone regardless of age or gender?

I was about to state something similar like, when im hangin with my dude friends (that sounds so cheesy haha) i love how much fun we have, just messing around and doin stupid stuff but when im with a girl, i feel like she CHOSE me and i CHOSE her to have these "special feelings" toward each other Its like adding chocolate to the already delicious strawberry i cant think of a better simile =P

It's like kids are just dating for fun or play.

dog64

There is a lot of truth to that but it is not a bad thing at all. It's a good life experience to date other people even if you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with that person. You learn what you like and what you don't and you learn what to do and what not to do so then you aren't all awkward later in life when you are looking for a serious relationship.

kids are dating for fun and play. thats the essence of teenage datingAndrovinus

[QUOTE="dog64"]

It's like kids are just dating for fun or play.

Guybrush_3

There is a lot of truth to that but it is not a bad thing at all. It's a good life experience to date other people even if you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with that person. You learn what you like and what you don't and you learn what to do and what not to do so then you aren't all awkward later in life when you are looking for a serious relationship.

I suppose that can be true, but I think many kids take it more seriously than just as a learning experience. Look at all bad things that can happen because of it (and have happened).

[QUOTE="MuddVader"]

There are different perks of having a girlfriend depending on the type of person you go out with.
I do think alot of younger people go out nowadays for fun because they arent neccessarily looking fora lifelongpartneror anythingbut more a companion, someone they can have fun with. While its not my cup of tea, I can understand some of the people who go from person to person in their dating life.
It may hurt when its over, but in a girlfriend or boyfriend you can find that which otherwise would have remained hidden from you.

dog64

I don't understand. Why do you need a girlfriend for a companion? Can't your companion(s) be anyone regardless of age or gender?

[QUOTE="Androvinus"]kids are dating for fun and play. thats the essence of teenage datingShake_N_Bake4

[QUOTE="Shake_N_Bake4"][QUOTE="Androvinus"]kids are dating for fun and play. thats the essence of teenage datingAndrovinus

[QUOTE="Androvinus"] at my school (I'm 16) all the guys care about is what is the most they can do with a girl(sexually). there are few exceptions but most of the guys are the same.mfp16

Getting in the dating scene early in life is only natural. Most kids hit puberty at around 12 or 13, and it's only natural for them to start getting attracted to other people. I don't know if you've ever been attracted to the other sex or not, or if you've ever even tried to be in a relationship... but it's not doing you any good to never have had any experience. It will be more difficult for you in life, never even been on a date - as opposed to people who didn't pass up those moments when they were young... It's in a way practice for the real world, and you missed out on it. Relationships don't have to be serious at young ages, but it trains you for people skills later in life when things do get serious.Nerd_Man

Yeah I've been attracted to the other sex, but that's it. I'm just not ready for that kind of activity, I want to live my life first. And you know what the song says: "Love is a battlefield".

[QUOTE="Nerd_Man"]Getting in the dating scene early in life is only natural. Most kids hit puberty at around 12 or 13, and it's only natural for them to start getting attracted to other people. I don't know if you've ever been attracted to the other sex or not, or if you've ever even tried to be in a relationship... but it's not doing you any good to never have had any experience. It will be more difficult for you in life, never even been on a date - as opposed to people who didn't pass up those moments when they were young... It's in a way practice for the real world, and you missed out on it. Relationships don't have to be serious at young ages, but it trains you for people skills later in life when things do get serious.dog64

Yeah I've been attracted to the other sex, but that's it. I'm just not ready for that kind of activity, I want to live my life first. And you know what the song says: "Love is a battlefield".

[QUOTE="Guybrush_3"]

[QUOTE="dog64"]

It's like kids are just dating for fun or play.

dog64

There is a lot of truth to that but it is not a bad thing at all. It's a good life experience to date other people even if you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with that person. You learn what you like and what you don't and you learn what to do and what not to do so then you aren't all awkward later in life when you are looking for a serious relationship.

I suppose that can be true, but I think many kids take it more seriously than just as a learning experience. Look at all bad things that can happen because of it (and have happened).

Yeah a lot of kids take it seriously at the time, but later most realize that it wasn't that big of a deal.One thing that I always found funny wasthe whole "*insert name here* broke up with me my life is over! :cry:" only for that person to be perfectly fine like a week later and then dating someone else two weeks later.

What is ironic about this is I was a kid who never was serious about relationships going into them, but I ended up dating the girl I started dating my senior year for three and a half years.

I haven't had a girlfriend either, although I've been on maybe 1 or 2 dates. I'm just really introverted and I find it hard to express myself.

I don't think thats weird, but I think the companionship might be nice. You don't have to take it serious.

I'm actually 20 myself and a huge introvert, like I've never had a gf either, and only a few people I would really call a friend.

But that doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. It's just nice to have someone you can count on, someone who validates you, and would accept you in a deeper way than just one on one casual conversations. It's the kind of thing that we as humans need, a basic desire for love and acceptance. Even if it doesn't last or you end up getting hurt, it is still easily worth it in the end, physiologically.

So, I'm 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend. Many people would probably find that very weird, but I ask why? There are kids in their early teens (and even younger) who get involved in love and finding girlfriends/boyfriends. And what happens to most of them? They break up after a while, sometimes tears are shed, and they find someone else and it usually repeats. So why even go through that? It's like kids are just dating for fun or play.

But anway, as I said I'm 20 and never had a girfriend, and I'm not really interested in getting one right now. So I ask of you, OT, do you think that's weird?

dog64

I felt the same way as you OP throughout high school but now in college i finally decided why not abd got a girlfriend..........

Anyways since now having a girlfriend / being in a relationship, i dont know why i wudnt of wanted one iun the past.

Very fun and rewarding if your with someone special to you

[QUOTE="Nerd_Man"]Getting in the dating scene early in life is only natural. Most kids hit puberty at around 12 or 13, and it's only natural for them to start getting attracted to other people. I don't know if you've ever been attracted to the other sex or not, or if you've ever even tried to be in a relationship... but it's not doing you any good to never have had any experience. It will be more difficult for you in life, never even been on a date - as opposed to people who didn't pass up those moments when they were young... It's in a way practice for the real world, and you missed out on it. Relationships don't have to be serious at young ages, but it trains you for people skills later in life when things do get serious.dog64

Yeah I've been attracted to the other sex, but that's it. I'm just not ready for that kind of activity, I want to live my life first. And you know what the song says: "Love is a battlefield".

And no offense either. I'm not trying to pick on you. I'm just being honest. Maybe you should just take that in mind that you not caring about relationships is not the whole problem.

The thing i love about relationships is the kissing, thats when you know someone really likes you or even loves you

It helps self-esteem and boosts confidence

overall it makes you a happier person

Shake_N_Bake4

It can go both ways. It can be good in a sense that it is a valuable lesson in human relationships. I often hear people say they want to wait for the right one before they will start dating, but when the right one does come along all of a sudden these folks do not know how to even talk to him/her, let alone going out on dates and getting married. In dating you will find out first hand what is appropriate to do and what is not to a potential mate when you meet him/her. Some people might find it cute and adorable that someone could be so deficient in dating, but I would say the majority of the ppl do not find that attractive.

On the other hand, some ppl started too young in dating before they are fully mature yet and could ended up making decisions or committments that they might regret later on in life.

I personally think that dating is good harmless fun and can help you get to know yourself better, but restrain yourself on the physical stuff until much much later on

[QUOTE="dog64"]

Yeah I've been attracted to the other sex, but that's it. I'm just not ready for that kind of activity, I want to live my life first. And you know what the song says: "Love is a battlefield".

Shake_N_Bake4

Sometimes love can be like war. Ever watch Jerry Springer? :P

Love is part of life, though. I think you're just intimidated by the idea of being in a relationship because you've never experienced one and don't know how. If you ever did feel affectionate towards someone else, you would have a completely different view on it and wouldn't even think of posting this thread.

And no offense either. I'm not trying to pick on you. I'm just being honest. Maybe you should just take that in mind that you not caring about relationships is not the whole problem.

Nerd_Man

Well I do want to get a female one day and even have kids, just not now. I want to have fun now and enjoy my life. Not necessarily alone, I'd like to enjoy my life with everyone I know. But I shouldn't have to call them my girlfriends.

So, I'm 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend. Many people would probably find that very weird, but I ask why? There are kids in their early teens (and even younger) who get involved in love and finding girlfriends/boyfriends. And what happens to most of them? They break up after a while, sometimes tears are shed, and they find someone else and it usually repeats. So why even go through that? It's like kids are just dating for fun or play.

But anway, as I said I'm 20 and never had a girfriend, and I'm not really interested in getting one right now. So I ask of you, OT, do you think that's weird?

dog64

2012 is the end of the world

A part of life is the whole dating experiance. Sure people say that they don't need to get a girlfriend right away and to some degree that is true, but if you never go on a date then you are going to be very awkward on your datewhen it finally happens which is ok when you are 15. However you are going to lose that date incredibly fast ifit ishappening in your 30's.

I think it's rather pointless myself, but really, who cares? If kids want to go about in these dumb little relationships that go nowhere than let them do so. I mean, I think discouraging it would only lead to problems. The thing being is that if we discourage such activity there can easily become a problem of unopeness and rebellion. While technically pointless, I think it serves some benefit in that it gives people experience with the sort of thing. While some can argue that an introvert can have a much more stable relationship, I'd argue that it's different for those sort of people because the necessities to provide a good relationship is different. If you consider that through these activities at an early age, these sort of extroverts will have more experience with how they handle their relationships and what makes them happy.

Have you gone out on any dates with girls?

(Technically not having a girlfriend)

Shake_N_Bake4

S'cool. As long as you don't have a fear of women or anything, I see no problem. Personally, being alone frightens me to no end, but that's just me.

well im 20 and have never had a girlfriend myself, i mean i've been on dates before and such, but i've never had a proper relationship that lasted. It seems like i am too picky about the type of girl i want to be with.

S'cool. As long as you don't have a fear of women or anything, I see no problem. Personally, being alone frightens me to no end, but that's just me.

effena

I don't want to be alone either. I hope I never live alone, but the person I'm living with doesn't have to be a girlfriend. It could be a friend or family member and that would make me happy.