would you ask a person out knowing s/he has a bf/gf?

A conversation along these lines took place with me and some friends a while back, where they said it would be creepy to ask someone out (or them asking you out) when they were currently with someone. Well long before that a girl who had a bf but didn't want to be with him anymore kinda coerced me into asking her out. So my only real question is what's the rule of thumb for dating someone knowing they already have a bg/gf? It's not exactly marraige, but I think there are some boundaries to be respected.

If it's not exclusive and the said boyfriend or girlfriend in question is okay with it, I don't really see the problem.

Otherwise, no.

Generally it is a bad idea to date someone who is already dating someone else.

No. If they don't want to be with someone, break up with them. If they do, then there's no point in asking them out.

Try this out...Go ask out a girl with a big, muscley boyfriend and see how things pan out.spazzx625

Stay away from my girlfriend! :evil:

No. I like having teeth.

Definately not. Think of how the other person would feel. If you like someone who has a bf/gf and they like you too then make it clear that you won't date them until they sever ties with their current mate.

nope, for more reasons than i care to go through.

No, I would never ask a boy out who has a girlfriend(not seriously anyways). That takes all the fun out of messing around with him. I love the excitement(and sometimes benefits) from testing a guys faithfulness.

just because she has a goalie dosint mean you cant score...

No, I wouldn't. I consider it extremely inconsiderate and dishonorable to try to date someone who is already involved with someone else. If the girl wants out of the relationship, she needs to end it before going out with someone else.

Also, consider this-- If she is willing to consider your request while still being involved with another guy, what does that say about her? What stops her from doing the same to you?

A conversation along these lines took place with me and some friends a while back, where they said it would be creepy to ask someone out (or them asking you out) when they were currently with someone. Well long before that a girl who had a bf but didn't want to be with him anymore kinda coerced me into asking her out. So my only real question is what's the rule of thumb for dating someone knowing they already have a bg/gf? It's not exactly marraige, but I think there are some boundaries to be respected.

buldog300

I don't care if they are married or not. I just won't ask a girl out if they already have a boyfriend. I also won't "hang out" with the girl behind her boyfriend's back EVEN if she initiated the hang out part UNLESS the girl needed some advice on buying a gift for him or something relating towards him. That's where I draw the line. I hate doing shady stuff & people who do those types of things that are secretive & just two timing. I mean for (Insert Expletive) sakes, are you really that pathetic that you have to "steal" your friend's OR other people's boyfriend/girlfriend? Find your own GAWD-DAMMIT!

No, I wouldn't. I consider it extremely inconsiderate and dishonorable to try to date someone who is already involved with someone else. If the girl wants out of the relationship, she needs to end it before going out with someone else.

Also, consider this-- If she is willing to consider your request while still being involved with another guy, what does that say about her? What stops her from doing the same to you?

hartsickdiscipl

This guy gets it! I have much respect for you dude.

[QUOTE="buldog300"]

A conversation along these lines took place with me and some friends a while back, where they said it would be creepy to ask someone out (or them asking you out) when they were currently with someone. Well long before that a girl who had a bf but didn't want to be with him anymore kinda coerced me into asking her out. So my only real question is what's the rule of thumb for dating someone knowing they already have a bg/gf? It's not exactly marraige, but I think there are some boundaries to be respected.

envybianchi

I don't care if they are married or not. I just won't ask a girl out if they already have a boyfriend. I also won't "hang out" with the girl behind her boyfriend's back EVEN if she initiated the hang out part UNLESS the girl needed some advice on buying a gift for him or something relating towards him. That's where I draw the line. I hate doing shady stuff & people who do those types of things that are secretive & just two timing. I mean for (Insert Expletive) sakes, are you really that pathetic that you have to "steal" your friend's OR other people's boyfriend/girlfriend? Find your own GAWD-DAMMIT!

Exactly. I think this type of shady stuff and a general lack of honor is a large part of what's wrong with humanity today. It makes me sick to even think about.. and I've never had a GF "stolen" from me. The only circumstance where I think it might be "ok" to try to undermine the relationship between 2 people is if you KNOW one of them is cheating. Then I think you should bust it wide open.

No, I would not.

No, I wouldn't. I consider it extremely inconsiderate and dishonorable to try to date someone who is already involved with someone else. If the girl wants out of the relationship, she needs to end it before going out with someone else.

Also, consider this-- If she is willing to consider your request while still being involved with another guy, what does that say about her? What stops her from doing the same to you?

hartsickdiscipl

in the game of life, this is the correct answer.

[QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

No, I wouldn't. I consider it extremely inconsiderate and dishonorable to try to date someone who is already involved with someone else. If the girl wants out of the relationship, she needs to end it before going out with someone else.

Also, consider this-- If she is willing to consider your request while still being involved with another guy, what does that say about her? What stops her from doing the same to you?

z4twenny

in the game of life, this is the correct answer.

I got one right!!! :D

A lot of guys I've liked had gained GF's after a while - I had to love and let go. One day... :P

No, but I'd still hit.

No, but I'd still hit.

Mystic-G

The epitome of dishonor. I hope you're joking.

If you'd have asked me 2 years ago I'd have said "NO! No way, absolutely not. That's immoral." But after seeing a girl I fell for (and vowed not to make a move on because she had a boyfriend and I wanted to 'respect' that) cheat on her boyfriend with a friend (now ex-friend) of mine and for things to end up practically perfect for the both of them, I don't give a damn whether a girl I like has a bf. If I want her, I'm going after her. If her bf wants to stop me... I DARE him to try. :twisted:

[QUOTE="Mystic-G"]

No, but I'd still hit.

hartsickdiscipl

The epitome of dishonor. I hope you're joking.

Probably not.

[QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

[QUOTE="Mystic-G"]

No, but I'd still hit.

Mystic-G

The epitome of dishonor. I hope you're joking.

It's not a guy's job to "keep his woman in check." It's her job to keep herself in check, and YOUR job to keep yourself in check and walk the high road. Besides, why would you want a woman who would treat her man that way? I dare say your perspective represents part of what's wrong with the world today.

[QUOTE="buldog300"]

A conversation along these lines took place with me and some friends a while back, where they said it would be creepy to ask someone out (or them asking you out) when they were currently with someone. Well long before that a girl who had a bf but didn't want to be with him anymore kinda coerced me into asking her out. So my only real question is what's the rule of thumb for dating someone knowing they already have a bg/gf? It's not exactly marraige, but I think there are some boundaries to be respected.

envybianchi

I don't care if they are married or not. I just won't ask a girl out if they already have a boyfriend. I also won't "hang out" with the girl behind her boyfriend's back EVEN if she initiated the hang out part UNLESS the girl needed some advice on buying a gift for him or something relating towards him. That's where I draw the line. I hate doing shady stuff & people who do those types of things that are secretive & just two timing. I mean for (Insert Expletive) sakes, are you really that pathetic that you have to "steal" your friend's OR other people's boyfriend/girlfriend? Find your own GAWD-DAMMIT!

Why wouldn't you hang out "behind" her bf's back? You would ask the BF permission to hang out with his gf? That's sort of pathetic. I mean if you don't plan on hitting on her whats the problem? And if he has problems with her not telling him who she's hanging out with and what she's doing 24/7 then he's most likely very controlling and a a very jealous kind of bf. I see no reason at all to ask a guy if I can chill with his gf. A gf doesn't give a bf ownership of the other persons life.

normally i wouldn't

but i did ask my best friend out, and she does have a boyfriend

depends on the circumstances, my best friend's boyfriend doesn't treat her well, always yelling at her to the point of making her cry, and other things

but if it's a respectable boyfriend, i would not

and i wouldn't steal the boyfriend, i would wait until they broke up for reasons other than me

normally i wouldn't

but i did ask my best friend out, and she does have a boyfriend

depends on the circumstances, my best friend's boyfriend doesn't treat her well, always yelling at her to the point of making her cry, and other things

but if it's a respectable boyfriend, i would not

rikkustrife

So now it's your job to judge whether or not he's treating her well enough, and base your actions on that? Was he cheating? Was he threatening her health or life? What happens when somebody else doesn't think you're "respectable" and steals her away from you?

[QUOTE="Mystic-G"][QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

The epitome of dishonor. I hope you're joking.

hartsickdiscipl

It's not a guy's job to "keep his woman in check." It's her job to keep herself in check, and YOUR job to keep yourself in check and walk the high road. Besides, why would you want a woman who would treat her man that way? I dare say your perspective represents part of what's wrong with the world today.

If my girl cheated on me, as far as I'm concerned the only one at fault is me & her.

[QUOTE="rikkustrife"]

normally i wouldn't

but i did ask my best friend out, and she does have a boyfriend

depends on the circumstances, my best friend's boyfriend doesn't treat her well, always yelling at her to the point of making her cry, and other things

but if it's a respectable boyfriend, i would not

hartsickdiscipl

So now it's your job to judge whether or not he's treating her well enough, and base your actions on that? Was he cheating? Was he threatening her health or life? What happens when somebody else doesn't think you're "respectable" and steals her away from you?

she said this to me, i judge it by what she says and what she thinks of him

I asked her out, and respected her decision

[QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

[QUOTE="Mystic-G"] I'm dead serious. If someone can't keep their woman in check to be faithful then it's their fault, not mine. If it ain't me it's gonna be the next guy anyway so might aswell get what I can, when I can. Mystic-G

It's not a guy's job to "keep his woman in check." It's her job to keep herself in check, and YOUR job to keep yourself in check and walk the high road. Besides, why would you want a woman who would treat her man that way? I dare say your perspective represents part of what's wrong with the world today.

If my girl cheated on me, as far as I'm concerned the only one at fault is me & her.

I realize that most women (and men) don't live by a real code of honor, especially when it comes to relationships. That doesn't make it right, and doesn't mean that I'm going to change my approach. I'll feel much more rewarded if when I find one that does.. and if I never do find that that one, that's ok too. Better than being with someone who doesn't share my sense of honor in this area.

I see what you're saying, but it's still no excuse to abandon honor and values when it comes to relationships. That's called compromising. This is an area that I think is too important to compromise in.

[QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

[QUOTE="rikkustrife"]

normally i wouldn't

but i did ask my best friend out, and she does have a boyfriend

depends on the circumstances, my best friend's boyfriend doesn't treat her well, always yelling at her to the point of making her cry, and other things

but if it's a respectable boyfriend, i would not

rikkustrife

So now it's your job to judge whether or not he's treating her well enough, and base your actions on that? Was he cheating? Was he threatening her health or life? What happens when somebody else doesn't think you're "respectable" and steals her away from you?

she said this to me, i judge it by what she says and what she thinks of him

I asked her out, and respected her decision

Congratulations on pursuing someone who talks bad about her BF to other guys. The worst kind.

Depends on the boyfriend if he is a nice guy then no. But if he is an @#$%& then the girl is fair game in my opinion because in the end I will be doing her a favor.Islandbeats

*Facepalm*

Not your job to decide if he's a big enough jerk to encroach upon. It's her job to decide that and leave him. Then she's fair game.

[QUOTE="Mystic-G"]

[QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

It's not a guy's job to "keep his woman in check." It's her job to keep herself in check, and YOUR job to keep yourself in check and walk the high road. Besides, why would you want a woman who would treat her man that way? I dare say your perspective represents part of what's wrong with the world today.

hartsickdiscipl

If my girl cheated on me, as far as I'm concerned the only one at fault is me & her.

I realize that most women (and men) don't live by a real code of honor, especially when it comes to relationships. That doesn't make it right, and doesn't mean that I'm going to change my approach. I'll feel much more rewarded if when I find one that does.. and if I never do find that that one, that's ok too. Better than being with someone who doesn't share my sense of honor in this area.

I see what you're saying, but it's still no excuse to abandon honor and values when it comes to relationships. That's called compromising. This is an area that I think is too important to compromise in.

[QUOTE="Islandbeats"]Depends on the boyfriend if he is a nice guy then no. But if he is an @#$%& then the girl is fair game in my opinion because in the end I will be doing her a favor.hartsickdiscipl

*Facepalm*

Not your job to decide if he's a big enough jerk to encroach upon. It's her job to decide that and leave him. Then she's fair game.

[QUOTE="envybianchi"]

[QUOTE="buldog300"]

A conversation along these lines took place with me and some friends a while back, where they said it would be creepy to ask someone out (or them asking you out) when they were currently with someone. Well long before that a girl who had a bf but didn't want to be with him anymore kinda coerced me into asking her out. So my only real question is what's the rule of thumb for dating someone knowing they already have a bg/gf? It's not exactly marraige, but I think there are some boundaries to be respected.

bigblunt537

I don't care if they are married or not. I just won't ask a girl out if they already have a boyfriend. I also won't "hang out" with the girl behind her boyfriend's back EVEN if she initiated the hang out part UNLESS the girl needed some advice on buying a gift for him or something relating towards him. That's where I draw the line. I hate doing shady stuff & people who do those types of things that are secretive & just two timing. I mean for (Insert Expletive) sakes, are you really that pathetic that you have to "steal" your friend's OR other people's boyfriend/girlfriend? Find your own GAWD-DAMMIT!

Why wouldn't you hang out "behind" her bf's back? You would ask the BF permission to hang out with his gf? That's sort of pathetic. I mean if you don't plan on hitting on her whats the problem? And if he has problems with her not telling him who she's hanging out with and what she's doing 24/7 then he's most likely very controlling and a a very jealous kind of bf. I see no reason at all to ask a guy if I can chill with his gf. A gf doesn't give a bf ownership of the other persons life.

I wouldn't hang out "behind" her boyfriend's OR my best friend's back because it is just shady in general plus only a low life without a life would do such a thing & someone who is inadequate or has no confidence in his own life or image. Truthfully, there is no reason to get the boyfriend's permission to hang out with his girl but to a certain extent the definition of "hanging out" makes a difference. I won't get into details but I have experienced it within a group of my old friends. 2 guys fighting over the 3rd guy's girlfriend was not a pretty sight even though they claimed to just "hang out." But what is "hanging out," really? Going to the mall, doing legal/illegal drugs, going to raves, bars & clubs? Going to a restaurant? Watching Top Gun? My point being is that hanging out with another man's girlfriend, fiance or wife is just isn't honorable UNLESS she is leaving him or has already left him OR the "hanging out" creates no emotional contact which is difficult considering we are humans.

Honestly, if you want to hang out with the boyfriend's girlfriend that's fine. Just be ready to deal with the consequences IF the relationship goes any further between the two of you. BTW, it has nothing to do with ownership of boyfriend & girlfriend. It has to do with respecting other people's boundaries & being honorable. If you can't understand that, well..... I have nothing to say besides the fact that have a pathetic miserable & inadequate life.

dating =/= betrothed.

That said, it depends on the relationship. Are they living together or just seeing each other? If the former, it's hands-off. If the latter, she's still fair game.

No, i would get over whoever it was fairly quickly..in fact..i wouldn't get my emotions involved to begin with if i knew they were already in a relationship..

just because she has a goalie dosint mean you cant score...

beet0

This.