would you ask a person out knowing s/he has a bf/gf?

[QUOTE="bigblunt537"]

[QUOTE="envybianchi"]

I don't care if they are married or not. I just won't ask a girl out if they already have a boyfriend. I also won't "hang out" with the girl behind her boyfriend's back EVEN if she initiated the hang out part UNLESS the girl needed some advice on buying a gift for him or something relating towards him. That's where I draw the line. I hate doing shady stuff & people who do those types of things that are secretive & just two timing. I mean for (Insert Expletive) sakes, are you really that pathetic that you have to "steal" your friend's OR other people's boyfriend/girlfriend? Find your own GAWD-DAMMIT!

envybianchi

Why wouldn't you hang out "behind" her bf's back? You would ask the BF permission to hang out with his gf? That's sort of pathetic. I mean if you don't plan on hitting on her whats the problem? And if he has problems with her not telling him who she's hanging out with and what she's doing 24/7 then he's most likely very controlling and a a very jealous kind of bf. I see no reason at all to ask a guy if I can chill with his gf. A gf doesn't give a bf ownership of the other persons life.

I wouldn't hang out "behind" her boyfriend's OR my best friend's back because it is just shady in general plus only a low life without a life would do such a thing & someone who is inadequate or has no confidence in his own life or image. Truthfully, there is no reason to get the boyfriend's permission to hang out with his girl but to a certain extent the definition of "hanging out" makes a difference. I won't get into details but I have experienced it within a group of my old friends. 2 guys fighting over the 3rd guy's girlfriend was not a pretty sight even though they claimed to just "hang out." But what is "hanging out," really? Going to the mall, doing legal/illegal drugs, going to raves, bars & clubs? Going to a restaurant? Watching Top Gun? My point being is that hanging out with another man's girlfriend, fiance or wife is just isn't honorable UNLESS she is leaving him or has already left him OR the "hanging out" creates no emotional contact which is difficult considering we are humans.

Honestly, if you want to hang out with the boyfriend's girlfriend that's fine. Just be ready to deal with the consequences IF the relationship goes any further between the two of you. BTW, it has nothing to do with ownership of boyfriend & girlfriend. It has to do with respecting other people's boundaries & being honorable. If you can't understand that, well..... I have nothing to say besides the fact that have a pathetic miserable & inadequate life.

Do you see that last line? Completely unessesary and shows the type of person you truly are. Well back on subject. I highleted a specific part of you're post because it deals with "hanging out" and behind a boyfriends back. I never said anything for best friends girl friend which you also spoke of. I was specifically speaking of hanging out with some dudes girl friend which you claim that hanging out would lead to emotions since we are human. If thats you're definition of how humans are I feel bad for you.I've chilled with many girls who have had a bf at the time and I've never developed emotions just because we saw a movie together or went to the mall together or whatever our activity was.

If someone has it in their mind to develope feelings for a girl with a bf then he will, but if one has no problem at all being friends and see's no interest in a relationship with her, he will most likely not develope any feelings in my experience. Again I see no reason to "inform" a guy that you're hanging out with his bf. If anything it is the girls job to say "hey, I'm hanging out with so and so today", it isn't your job so imo its impossible to go behind a guys back unless your initial goal is to become something more than friends with a girl that you know has a boyfriend.

maybe, depends on if they are happy with said bf.

I dont know but if some dude asked out my girlfriend he'd get a punch to the face unless he was her gay friend or something. I trust my girlfriend enough though for her to say no and no I'm not overly jealous I just don't want a another man taking out my girlfriend it doesn't look good. (unless it was like a family member or like I said gay friend) and I just find it disrespectful in general.

A conversation along these lines took place with me and some friends a while back, where they said it would be creepy to ask someone out (or them asking you out) when they were currently with someone. Well long before that a girl who had a bf but didn't want to be with him anymore kinda coerced me into asking her out. So my only real question is what's the rule of thumb for dating someone knowing they already have a bg/gf? It's not exactly marraige, but I think there are some boundaries to be respected.

buldog300

Boyfriend/girlfriend status implies exclusivity.Therefore, I would never do it, and I would be very mad if someone did it to someone I was dating. I do have friends that have done it, and I tell them how I feel.

Just...don't get involved with cheatnig. Your life will be much easier.

Try this out...Go ask out a girl with a big, muscley boyfriend and see how things pan out.spazzx625

I'm suing you for my injuries.

I wouldn't

[QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

[QUOTE="Mystic-G"] I never said I want anything. A woman is gonna do as she pleases regardless. I dare say your perspective represents the part of men who're gullible enough to think most women have any honor code. Most all of them run on emotions instead of coherent thought. If your woman is cheating on you then she was never meant for you anyway. Better she cheats on you when she's a girlfriend than when she's your wife.

If my girl cheated on me, as far as I'm concerned the only one at fault is me & her.

Mystic-G

I realize that most women (and men) don't live by a real code of honor, especially when it comes to relationships. That doesn't make it right, and doesn't mean that I'm going to change my approach. I'll feel much more rewarded if when I find one that does.. and if I never do find that that one, that's ok too. Better than being with someone who doesn't share my sense of honor in this area.

I see what you're saying, but it's still no excuse to abandon honor and values when it comes to relationships. That's called compromising. This is an area that I think is too important to compromise in.

I'd much rather be an honorable man in a dishonorable time, and have people say I failed. I care about how I view myself, and nothing is more important to my self-esteem than knowing that I did the right, honorable thing whenever possible. I also care about what God thinks of me, and I don't think he likes scumbags who try to encroach upon other people's relationships.

[QUOTE="Mystic-G"][QUOTE="hartsickdiscipl"]

I realize that most women (and men) don't live by a real code of honor, especially when it comes to relationships. That doesn't make it right, and doesn't mean that I'm going to change my approach. I'll feel much more rewarded if when I find one that does.. and if I never do find that that one, that's ok too. Better than being with someone who doesn't share my sense of honor in this area.

I see what you're saying, but it's still no excuse to abandon honor and values when it comes to relationships. That's called compromising. This is an area that I think is too important to compromise in.

hartsickdiscipl

I'd much rather be an honorable man in a dishonorable time, and have people say I failed. I care about how I view myself, and nothing is more important to my self-esteem than knowing that I did the right, honorable thing whenever possible. I also care about what God thinks of me, and I don't think he likes scumbags who try to encroach upon other people's relationships.

Not generally unless it wasn't very serious.

No.

No. You could end up being put in a small dark room getting your finger nails pulled out my mechanical machines.

If they're committed and going strong? Then no, I'm not going to bother to try then.

If one of them is drifting apart and comes onto me? Then no again, they'd have to tell their partner it's over between them firstly, otherwise I'd never accept that their intentions are legitimate towards me at that time.

I wouldn't mind hanging out with the person, I just wouldn't ask her out. She'll have to choose to leave her man first, voluntarily, and then we'll take it to the next level