would you forgive your parents if they cheated?

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ZumaJones07

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#1 ZumaJones07
Member since 2005 • 16457 Posts
i could never forgive anyone for cheating and even if it were my parents, i would be fcking pissed. i would probably punch a hole through a wall with my brass knuckles and probably never forgive them. if one of your parents were to cheat on the other, what kind of feelings would you have about that? could you ever forgive them? is it something to get mad or sad about?
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freek666

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#2 freek666
Member since 2007 • 22312 Posts
none of my business what happens between them, ultimately don't care.
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LeonardHatred

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#3 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts
Well, as someone who has lived through exactly this in about as ugly and upsetting a manner as possible for a middle-class British family, I can say that whilst neither of you are 100%, freek has the healthier attitude.

Coincidentally enough though I did put my fist through a door, but it being an impulsive reaction to anger I didnt take the time to sheathe my fist in metal. Which, trust me, you wouldnt do. And if you are then you may want to worry about yourself as opposed to them.

You can all make it through though, it is still possible for a family to rebuild and I say this as a member of an old family. Im 23 and the youngest of four kids :\
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Ilovegames1992

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#4 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

I do think having kids should change a couples lives, you can afford to fuk up without kids. But kids change things you know.

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LeonardHatred

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#5 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

I do think having kids should change a couples lives, you can afford to fuk up without kids. But kids change things you know.

Ilovegames1992
Precisely. Hence why my dad waited til I was 22 and he was in America for a few weeks to do it :\

Hard to make that argument when you dont exactly have dependents
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junglist101

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#6 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

It's really not your place to need to forgive them for cheating although it's difficult not to be upset when their actions adversly affect you. Cheating is a very complicated matter though.

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Ilovegames1992

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#7 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

I do think having kids should change a couples lives, you can afford to fuk up without kids. But kids change things you know.

LeonardHatred

Precisely. Hence why my dad waited til I was 22 and he was in America for a few weeks to do it :\

Hard to make that argument when you dont exactly have dependents

I'll be honest, i personally think it would be better to at least start out with both parents. Divorce isn't that traumatising i would assume.

Having only one parent, and an abusive scumbag who's never been in your life, ergo no father figure, kinda sucks balls.

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junglist101

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#8 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

I do think having kids should change a couples lives, you can afford to fuk up without kids. But kids change things you know.

LeonardHatred

Precisely. Hence why my dad waited til I was 22 and he was in America for a few weeks to do it :\

Hard to make that argument when you dont exactly have dependents

If you were 22 then why were you upset enough to punch a door?

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deactivated-590595a6292ce

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#9 deactivated-590595a6292ce
Member since 2008 • 5080 Posts

i could never forgive anyone for cheating and even if it were my parents, i would be fcking pissed. i would probably punch a hole through a wall with my brass knuckles and probably never forgive them. if one of your parents were to cheat on the other, what kind of feelings would you have about that? could you ever forgive them?ZumaJones07

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almasdeathchild

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#10 almasdeathchild
Member since 2011 • 8922 Posts

id be dissapointed......it truly hurts....

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LeonardHatred

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#11 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"][QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

I do think having kids should change a couples lives, you can afford to fuk up without kids. But kids change things you know.

junglist101

Precisely. Hence why my dad waited til I was 22 and he was in America for a few weeks to do it :\

Hard to make that argument when you dont exactly have dependents

If you were 22 then why were you upset enough to punch a door?

Sure, cuz of course all emotional responses lessen when you turn 21... Not to mention you are of course uninformed on the subject and all preceeding and surrounding events so I wont shame you or myself by responding otherwise.

But do take the time to ask yourself why you'd feel the need to embarrass yourself by asking such a question. And no matter what conclusion you reach, keep it in that sharp ol' mind.
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ZumaJones07

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#12 ZumaJones07
Member since 2005 • 16457 Posts

Conno08
i'm harder than you think man, i'd ram a hole so hard my rents would understand how passionate i am.
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LeonardHatred

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#13 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"][QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

I do think having kids should change a couples lives, you can afford to fuk up without kids. But kids change things you know.

Ilovegames1992

Precisely. Hence why my dad waited til I was 22 and he was in America for a few weeks to do it :\

Hard to make that argument when you dont exactly have dependents

I'll be honest, i personally think it would be better to at least start out with both parents. Divorce isn't that traumatising i would assume.

Having only one parent, and an abusive scumbag who's never been in your life, ergo no father figure, kinda sucks balls.

This much I have seen with some of my friends, you have my deepest sympathies dude. As does your dad, he's missing out Im sure.
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Ilovegames1992

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#14 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"]Precisely. Hence why my dad waited til I was 22 and he was in America for a few weeks to do it :\

Hard to make that argument when you dont exactly have dependentsLeonardHatred

I'll be honest, i personally think it would be better to at least start out with both parents. Divorce isn't that traumatising i would assume.

Having only one parent, and an abusive scumbag who's never been in your life, ergo no father figure, kinda sucks balls.

This much I have seen with some of my friends, you have my deepest sympathies dude. As does your dad, he's missing out Im sure.

Nah fuk him. Not deserving of sympathy.

Thank you though.

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LeonardHatred

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#15 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"][QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

I'll be honest, i personally think it would be better to at least start out with both parents. Divorce isn't that traumatising i would assume.

Having only one parent, and an abusive scumbag who's never been in your life, ergo no father figure, kinda sucks balls.

Ilovegames1992

This much I have seen with some of my friends, you have my deepest sympathies dude. As does your dad, he's missing out Im sure.

Nah fuk him. Not deserving of sympathy.

Thank you though.

*second brofist on the day*
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ZumaJones07

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#16 ZumaJones07
Member since 2005 • 16457 Posts

It's really not your place to need to forgive them for cheating although it's difficult not to be upset when their actions adversly affect you. Cheating is a very complicated matter though.

junglist101
it's totally my business and it would be selfish of them to think otherwise imo. i couldn't stand the idea of any of them cheating :? i hope i never have to go through that, but i'm sure i won't.
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Ilovegames1992

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#17 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"]This much I have seen with some of my friends, you have my deepest sympathies dude. As does your dad, he's missing out Im sure. LeonardHatred

Nah fuk him. Not deserving of sympathy.

Thank you though.

*second brofist on the day*

*BROFIST*

By the way, who's alt is this? :lol:

I feel bad like i should know but sh!t it it's 8am and i haven't slept so cut me SOME FUKING SLACK!!!

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Ilovegames1992

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#18 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

It's really not your place to need to forgive them for cheating although it's difficult not to be upset when their actions adversly affect you. Cheating is a very complicated matter though.

ZumaJones07

it's totally my business and it would be selfish of them to think otherwise imo. i couldn't stand the idea of any of them cheating :? i hope i never have to go through that, but i'm sure i won't.

Dude, it's nobodies business but theirs i'm afraid. They have their life, you have yours.

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LeonardHatred

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#19 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts
Im actually a genuine newbie to this place. I came on here earlier asking for help with a decent gaming KB&M and poked around in here whilst waiting for replies.

Mindblown? -_-
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Ringx55

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#20 Ringx55
Member since 2008 • 5967 Posts
I would never.
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Ringx55

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#21 Ringx55
Member since 2008 • 5967 Posts

[QUOTE="ZumaJones07"][QUOTE="junglist101"]

It's really not your place to need to forgive them for cheating although it's difficult not to be upset when their actions adversly affect you. Cheating is a very complicated matter though.

Ilovegames1992

it's totally my business and it would be selfish of them to think otherwise imo. i couldn't stand the idea of any of them cheating :? i hope i never have to go through that, but i'm sure i won't.

Dude, it's nobodies business but theirs i'm afraid. They have their life, you have yours.

No, that is indeed a family issue and very much-so the children play a big part in the outcome of said cheating. Regardless of it being their personal affair once you have kids/ a family it's not personal anymore.
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Ilovegames1992

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#22 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

Im actually a genuine newbie to this place. I came on here earlier asking for help with a decent gaming KB&M and poked around in here whilst waiting for replies.

Mindblown? -_-LeonardHatred

Total mindfuk.

My apologies.

Doesn't make you any less awesome.

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Ilovegames1992

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#23 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="ZumaJones07"] it's totally my business and it would be selfish of them to think otherwise imo. i couldn't stand the idea of any of them cheating :? i hope i never have to go through that, but i'm sure i won't.Ringx55

Dude, it's nobodies business but theirs i'm afraid. They have their life, you have yours.

No, that is indeed a family issue and very much-so the children play a big part in the outcome of said cheating. Regardless of it being their personal affair once you have kids/ a family it's not personal anymore.

They have a right to be p!ssed off and as i said, adults really need to get it together when they have kids.

But no, its not their place to dictate the outcome of a persons relationship.

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LeonardHatred

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#24 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts
[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="ZumaJones07"] it's totally my business and it would be selfish of them to think otherwise imo. i couldn't stand the idea of any of them cheating :? i hope i never have to go through that, but i'm sure i won't.Ringx55

Dude, it's nobodies business but theirs i'm afraid. They have their life, you have yours.

No, that is indeed a family issue and very much-so the children play a big part in the outcome of said cheating. Regardless of it being their personal affair once you have kids/ a family it's not personal anymore.

Life is all shades of grey dude, marriage more so than most other aspects. You dont give up your life as soon as you have kids, and you honestly cant know how you'll react until it happens to you. Despite all the initial anger it gave me a genuinely strong resolve to become a better, stronger person and I never saw that coming.
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LeonardHatred

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#25 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"]Im actually a genuine newbie to this place. I came on here earlier asking for help with a decent gaming KB&M and poked around in here whilst waiting for replies.

Mindblown? -_-Ilovegames1992

Total mindfuk.

My apologies.

Doesn't make you any less awesome.

Im glad to hear this, I had worried this news might diminish my burgeoning yet still minor credibility >_>
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junglist101

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#26 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"]Precisely. Hence why my dad waited til I was 22 and he was in America for a few weeks to do it :\

Hard to make that argument when you dont exactly have dependentsLeonardHatred

If you were 22 then why were you upset enough to punch a door?

Sure, cuz of course all emotional responses lessen when you turn 21... Not to mention you are of course uninformed on the subject and all preceeding and surrounding events so I wont shame you or myself by responding otherwise.

But do take the time to ask yourself why you'd feel the need to embarrass yourself by asking such a question. And no matter what conclusion you reach, keep it in that sharp ol' mind.

I apologize. I should never have assumed that one should behave like a mature adult in that situation:roll:

Unless your dad boned a family member or your little sister I don't see how your situation is different then anyone elses when it comes to your parents infidelity. Except for the fact you acted like you were 14 instead of 22 when you got the news.

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Ilovegames1992

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#27 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"][QUOTE="junglist101"]If you were 22 then why were you upset enough to punch a door?

junglist101

Sure, cuz of course all emotional responses lessen when you turn 21... Not to mention you are of course uninformed on the subject and all preceeding and surrounding events so I wont shame you or myself by responding otherwise.

But do take the time to ask yourself why you'd feel the need to embarrass yourself by asking such a question. And no matter what conclusion you reach, keep it in that sharp ol' mind.

I apologize. I should never have assumed that one should behave like a mature adult in that situation:roll:

Unless your dad boned a family member or your little sister I don't see how your situation is different then anyone elses when it comes to their parents infidelity. Except for the fact you acted like you were 14 instead on 22 when you got the news.

Its one person being an utter kunt to another person, who you love. Why wouldn't you be p!ssed off.

Your condescension is unfair here.

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LeonardHatred

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#28 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"][QUOTE="junglist101"]If you were 22 then why were you upset enough to punch a door?

junglist101

Sure, cuz of course all emotional responses lessen when you turn 21... Not to mention you are of course uninformed on the subject and all preceeding and surrounding events so I wont shame you or myself by responding otherwise.

But do take the time to ask yourself why you'd feel the need to embarrass yourself by asking such a question. And no matter what conclusion you reach, keep it in that sharp ol' mind.

I apologize. I should never have assumed that one should behave like a mature adult in that situation:roll:

Unless your dad boned a family member or your little sister I don't see how your situation is different then anyone elses when it comes to your parents infidelity. Except for the fact you acted like you were 14 instead of 22 when you got the news.

Awww, buddy. The big grey thing in your heads called a brain, its like a widdle compootar and we use it for walking and breathing and basic comprehension and cognitive processes leading to thought and speech. Are we having a bit of twouble understanding?

Unfortunately for you dude, you've chosen to waste your time and effort assuming that any completely misinformed and irrationally stupid sentiment in a little box on my computer would have any bearing on my life, I implore you to stop making this mistake and for you to seek out a more fulfilling means of passing your time.

And whilst you may well accuse me of doing something similar, I genuinely believe taking the time to try and correct the behaviour of fundamentally flawed human beings such as yourself may well lead to the betterment of mankind, unlike your own choice of actions.

Enjoy puberty, you'll get there eventually.
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junglist101

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#29 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

[QUOTE="LeonardHatred"]Sure, cuz of course all emotional responses lessen when you turn 21... Not to mention you are of course uninformed on the subject and all preceeding and surrounding events so I wont shame you or myself by responding otherwise.

But do take the time to ask yourself why you'd feel the need to embarrass yourself by asking such a question. And no matter what conclusion you reach, keep it in that sharp ol' mind. Ilovegames1992

I apologize. I should never have assumed that one should behave like a mature adult in that situation:roll:

Unless your dad boned a family member or your little sister I don't see how your situation is different then anyone elses when it comes to their parents infidelity. Except for the fact you acted like you were 14 instead on 22 when you got the news.

Its one person being an utter kunt to another person, who you love. Why wouldn't you be p!ssed off.

Your condescension is unfair here.

I'm unfair...when both my parents cheated on each other one of which cheated with a non-blood family member when I was 14 which consequently caused a great degree of problems for me.

As far as I'm concerned I'm a f ucking expert on the topic.

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LeonardHatred

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#30 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]I apologize. I should never have assumed that one should behave like a mature adult in that situation:roll:

Unless your dad boned a family member or your little sister I don't see how your situation is different then anyone elses when it comes to their parents infidelity. Except for the fact you acted like you were 14 instead on 22 when you got the news.

junglist101

Its one person being an utter kunt to another person, who you love. Why wouldn't you be p!ssed off.

Your condescension is unfair here.

I'm unfair...when both my parents cheated on each other one of which cheated with a non-blood family member when I was 14 which consequently caused a great degree of problems for me.

As far as I'm concerned I'm a f ucking expert on the topic.

So you think your pain and particular experience lends credence to the idea that you can belittle the experiences of others? No matter what f ucking stupid comments you've made towards me I am genuinely sorry to hear that happened to anyone and you have my sympathies.

Perhaps next time you get the opportunity to make a first impression with someone over some common ground you'll try and use it as an opportunity to share instead of a futile attempt to exorcise your own demons.
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Ilovegames1992

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#31 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]I apologize. I should never have assumed that one should behave like a mature adult in that situation:roll:

Unless your dad boned a family member or your little sister I don't see how your situation is different then anyone elses when it comes to their parents infidelity. Except for the fact you acted like you were 14 instead on 22 when you got the news.

junglist101

Its one person being an utter kunt to another person, who you love. Why wouldn't you be p!ssed off.

Your condescension is unfair here.

I'm unfair...when both my parents cheated on each other one of which cheated with a non-blood family member when I was 14 which consequently caused a great degree of problems for me.

As far as I'm concerned I'm a f ucking expert on the topic.

So why on Earth can't you empathise with him then? And why do you chastise him for showing emotion?

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junglist101

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#32 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

Its one person being an utter kunt to another person, who you love. Why wouldn't you be p!ssed off.

Your condescension is unfair here.

Ilovegames1992

I'm unfair...when both my parents cheated on each other one of which cheated with a non-blood family member when I was 14 which consequently caused a great degree of problems for me.

As far as I'm concerned I'm a f ucking expert on the topic.

So why on Earth can't you empathise with him then? And why do you chastise him for showing emotion?

I simply posed a simple question as to why he was punching doors at 22 when his parents cheated and was attacked for doing so. I do empathise but at the same time as a full grown man I find it a little immature to be so upset to hear that one of your parents cheated that you are punching stuff. For Christ's sake they are adults, he's an adult. Maybe his father was unhappy in his relationship. Maybe his father put up with his mother for 18 years out of love for his kids and waited until it wouldn't affect there lives as much. It is so naive to think that your parents are dicks if they cheat as if it is a direct attack on the children.

Perhaps I was a little condescending after having my intelligence attacked but the last few post are ridiculous and I will not respond to him any further.

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Ilovegames1992

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#33 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]I'm unfair...when both my parents cheated on each other one of which cheated with a non-blood family member when I was 14 which consequently caused a great degree of problems for me.

As far as I'm concerned I'm a f ucking expert on the topic.

junglist101

So why on Earth can't you empathise with him then? And why do you chastise him for showing emotion?

I simply posed a simple question as to why he was punching doors at 22 when his parents cheated and was attacked for doing so. I do empathise but at the same time as a full grown man I find it a little immature to be so upset to hear that one of your parents cheated that you are punching stuff. For Christ's sake they are adults, he's an adult. Maybe his father was unhappy in his relationship. Maybe his father put up with his mother for 18 years out of love for his kids and waited until it wouldn't affect there lives as much. It is so naive to think that your parents are dicks if they cheat as if it is a direct attack on the children.

Perhaps I was a little condescending after having my intelligence attacked but the last few post are ridiculous and I will not respond to him any further.

I agree to a certain extent but i can't really just call him immature as it's unfair. They're his parents, whom he loves unconitionally. And one, or both, have commited a sin, for want of a better word.

I guess a lot of it hinges on how far you despise infidelity. I for one loathe it.

And i'll be honest, when i realised what my father was, going around having illegitimate kid after kid, spreading disgusting bile everywhere he went like a disease, i got very, very angry. Even though its his life and he can do whatever the fuk he wants. I got angry to the point of rage.

That was probably immature to you but i must say if that's the case then i don't see it being a bad thing if i'm honest.

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ShyGuy0504

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#34 ShyGuy0504
Member since 2009 • 1138 Posts

My Dad cheated on my Mom when I was just 3 years old so I didn't know what was going on. They divorced and I stayed with my Mom. I've only seen my Dad a few times over the years. I don't feel any anger towards him. He's like a stranger to me. I was lucky to be so young when it happened. I imagine it would suck to be older and have to deal with something like that.

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LeonardHatred

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#35 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]I'm unfair...when both my parents cheated on each other one of which cheated with a non-blood family member when I was 14 which consequently caused a great degree of problems for me.

As far as I'm concerned I'm a f ucking expert on the topic.

junglist101

So why on Earth can't you empathise with him then? And why do you chastise him for showing emotion?

I simply posed a simple question as to why he was punching doors at 22 when his parents cheated and was attacked for doing so. I do empathise but at the same time as a full grown man I find it a little immature to be so upset to hear that one of your parents cheated that you are punching stuff. For Christ's sake they are adults, he's an adult. Maybe his father was unhappy in his relationship. Maybe his father put up with his mother for 18 years out of love for his kids and waited until it wouldn't affect there lives as much. It is so naive to think that your parents are dicks if they cheat as if it is a direct attack on the children.

Perhaps I was a little condescending after having my intelligence attacked but the last few post are ridiculous and I will not respond to him any further.

Right, thats exactly what happened, there isnt documentary evidence to the contrary.

Yes I attacked your intelligence, after you attempted to attack my maturity, and after giving you ample opportunity not to set yourself up for that, but you did, and so you are only reaping what you have sown.

Secondly, again you are severely misinformed, do you not understand how the simple concept of mouthing off with little to no context can make you look incredulously stupid? And still youre surprised I attacked your intelligence?

Thirdly, were all different people, shaped by our experiences and environments. My reaction will of course be different to yours, but not only do you simply not get to invalidate my experiences, you CANNOT.

And lastly, it would behoove you to look back upon the entire thread before mindlessly typing next time as you will note that I merely used it to illustrate a point to someone about how these situations bring out unexpected responses and that whilst punching something might be one of them, its highly unlikely to be a pre-meditated act.

Do keep looking upon yourself as the innocent party here though man, its highly amusing.
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junglist101

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#36 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

So why on Earth can't you empathise with him then? And why do you chastise him for showing emotion?

Ilovegames1992

I simply posed a simple question as to why he was punching doors at 22 when his parents cheated and was attacked for doing so. I do empathise but at the same time as a full grown man I find it a little immature to be so upset to hear that one of your parents cheated that you are punching stuff. For Christ's sake they are adults, he's an adult. Maybe his father was unhappy in his relationship. Maybe his father put up with his mother for 18 years out of love for his kids and waited until it wouldn't affect there lives as much. It is so naive to think that your parents are dicks if they cheat as if it is a direct attack on the children.

Perhaps I was a little condescending after having my intelligence attacked but the last few post are ridiculous and I will not respond to him any further.

I agree to a certain extent but i can't really just call him immature as it's unfair. They're his parents, whom he loves unconitionally. And one, or both, have commited a sin, for want of a better word.

I guess a lot of it hinges on how far you despise infidelity. I for one loathe it.

And i'll be honest, when i realised what my father was, going around having illegitimate kid after kid, spreading disgusting bile everywhere he went like a disease, i got very, very angry. Even though its his life and he can do whatever the fuk he wants. I got angry to the point of rage.

That was probably immature to you but i must say if that's the case then i don't see it being a bad thing if i'm honest.

What your father has done is more than enough reason to be pissed. That kind of behaivor speaks to beyond sex and to what kind of person your father is. Sorry to hear that. You would find we share something in common as my father has done stuff over the years that really pisses me off. Although he has made some changes I find forgiveness difficult.

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LeonardHatred

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#37 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

So why on Earth can't you empathise with him then? And why do you chastise him for showing emotion?

Ilovegames1992

I simply posed a simple question as to why he was punching doors at 22 when his parents cheated and was attacked for doing so. I do empathise but at the same time as a full grown man I find it a little immature to be so upset to hear that one of your parents cheated that you are punching stuff. For Christ's sake they are adults, he's an adult. Maybe his father was unhappy in his relationship. Maybe his father put up with his mother for 18 years out of love for his kids and waited until it wouldn't affect there lives as much. It is so naive to think that your parents are dicks if they cheat as if it is a direct attack on the children.

Perhaps I was a little condescending after having my intelligence attacked but the last few post are ridiculous and I will not respond to him any further.

I agree to a certain extent but i can't really just call him immature as it's unfair. They're his parents, whom he loves unconitionally. And one, or both, have commited a sin, for want of a better word.

I guess a lot of it hinges on how far you despise infidelity. I for one loathe it.

And i'll be honest, when i realised what my father was, going around having illegitimate kid after kid, spreading disgusting bile everywhere he went like a disease, i got very, very angry. Even though its his life and he can do whatever the fuk he wants. I got angry to the point of rage.

That was probably immature to you but i must say if that's the case then i don't see it being a bad thing if i'm honest.

It wouldnt be unfair to call it immature, violence is an inherently immature trait/response. But the age doesnt matter, these things have a distinct way of infantilising you as a person and as someone who, frankly, supresses all emotions in real life, Im not surprised that my response to a particular situation surrounding a revelation related to the seemingly more drastic revelation of my dad cheating on my mum, was a violent one. It had been building up.
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Ilovegames1992

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#38 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]I simply posed a simple question as to why he was punching doors at 22 when his parents cheated and was attacked for doing so. I do empathise but at the same time as a full grown man I find it a little immature to be so upset to hear that one of your parents cheated that you are punching stuff. For Christ's sake they are adults, he's an adult. Maybe his father was unhappy in his relationship. Maybe his father put up with his mother for 18 years out of love for his kids and waited until it wouldn't affect there lives as much. It is so naive to think that your parents are dicks if they cheat as if it is a direct attack on the children.

Perhaps I was a little condescending after having my intelligence attacked but the last few post are ridiculous and I will not respond to him any further.

junglist101

I agree to a certain extent but i can't really just call him immature as it's unfair. They're his parents, whom he loves unconitionally. And one, or both, have commited a sin, for want of a better word.

I guess a lot of it hinges on how far you despise infidelity. I for one loathe it.

And i'll be honest, when i realised what my father was, going around having illegitimate kid after kid, spreading disgusting bile everywhere he went like a disease, i got very, very angry. Even though its his life and he can do whatever the fuk he wants. I got angry to the point of rage.

That was probably immature to you but i must say if that's the case then i don't see it being a bad thing if i'm honest.

What your father has done is more than enough reason to be pissed. That kind of behaivor speaks to beyond sex and to what kind of person your father is. Sorry to hear that. You would find we share something in common as my father has done stuff over the years that really pisses me off. Although he has made some changes I find forgiveness difficult.

Well i would indeed empathise with you if your father did something unforgiveable and you become angry to the point of punching doors or whatever kind of venting you would use.

And also, i guess you could argue you transgress to a child when it comes to your parents maybe.

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Ilovegames1992

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#39 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]I simply posed a simple question as to why he was punching doors at 22 when his parents cheated and was attacked for doing so. I do empathise but at the same time as a full grown man I find it a little immature to be so upset to hear that one of your parents cheated that you are punching stuff. For Christ's sake they are adults, he's an adult. Maybe his father was unhappy in his relationship. Maybe his father put up with his mother for 18 years out of love for his kids and waited until it wouldn't affect there lives as much. It is so naive to think that your parents are dicks if they cheat as if it is a direct attack on the children.

Perhaps I was a little condescending after having my intelligence attacked but the last few post are ridiculous and I will not respond to him any further.

LeonardHatred

I agree to a certain extent but i can't really just call him immature as it's unfair. They're his parents, whom he loves unconitionally. And one, or both, have commited a sin, for want of a better word.

I guess a lot of it hinges on how far you despise infidelity. I for one loathe it.

And i'll be honest, when i realised what my father was, going around having illegitimate kid after kid, spreading disgusting bile everywhere he went like a disease, i got very, very angry. Even though its his life and he can do whatever the fuk he wants. I got angry to the point of rage.

That was probably immature to you but i must say if that's the case then i don't see it being a bad thing if i'm honest.

It wouldnt be unfair to call it immature, violence is an inherently immature trait/response. But the age doesnt matter, these things have a distinct way of infantilising you as a person and as someone who, frankly, supresses all emotions in real life, Im not surprised that my response to a particular situation surrounding a revelation related to the seemingly more drastic revelation of my dad cheating on my mum, was a violent one. It had been building up.

Right, yes yes.

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junglist101

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#40 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

I agree to a certain extent but i can't really just call him immature as it's unfair. They're his parents, whom he loves unconitionally. And one, or both, have commited a sin, for want of a better word.

I guess a lot of it hinges on how far you despise infidelity. I for one loathe it.

And i'll be honest, when i realised what my father was, going around having illegitimate kid after kid, spreading disgusting bile everywhere he went like a disease, i got very, very angry. Even though its his life and he can do whatever the fuk he wants. I got angry to the point of rage.

That was probably immature to you but i must say if that's the case then i don't see it being a bad thing if i'm honest.

Ilovegames1992

What your father has done is more than enough reason to be pissed. That kind of behaivor speaks to beyond sex and to what kind of person your father is. Sorry to hear that. You would find we share something in common as my father has done stuff over the years that really pisses me off. Although he has made some changes I find forgiveness difficult.

Well i would indeed empathise with you if your father did something unforgiveable and you become angry to the point of punching doors or whatever kind of venting you would use.

And also, i guess you could argue you transgress to a child when it comes to your parents maybe.

Well, at age 33 I live on my own, married etc etc. At this point as could be said for the last 13 years or so if he's really doing something ridiculous I just tell him. But like you said it's difficult not to revert back to the child/parent relationship but I pride myself on handling things as maturely and wisely as possible with my father. I find I'm much happier that way.

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Crunchy_Nuts

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#41 Crunchy_Nuts
Member since 2010 • 2749 Posts
If one of my parents cheated on another and they sort it out between themselves then it's not really my problem. If one was cheating on the other and I found out about it and they didn't tell the other parent then I would tell.
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Ilovegames1992

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#42 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]What your father has done is more than enough reason to be pissed. That kind of behaivor speaks to beyond sex and to what kind of person your father is. Sorry to hear that. You would find we share something in common as my father has done stuff over the years that really pisses me off. Although he has made some changes I find forgiveness difficult.

junglist101

Well i would indeed empathise with you if your father did something unforgiveable and you become angry to the point of punching doors or whatever kind of venting you would use.

And also, i guess you could argue you transgress to a child when it comes to your parents maybe.

Well, at age 33 I live on my own, married etc etc. At this point as could be said for the last 13 years or so if he's really doing something ridiculous I just tell him. But like you said it's difficult not to revert back to the child/parent relationship but I pride myself on handling things as maturely and wisely as possible with my father. I find I'm much happier that way.

Well you're a bigger man than me, i can never forgive my father. I just never will. And if i ever meet him, i don't know what i am capable of, i've never hurt a fly in my life but i can't say its not beyond the realms of possibility for me to react in a volatile manner towards him.

Its probably immature for me to never forgive but i can't help it.

Plus i am naturally a very childlike person, i have somewhat of an arrested development. I wouldn't even deny that. :lol:

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junglist101

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#43 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

Well i would indeed empathise with you if your father did something unforgiveable and you become angry to the point of punching doors or whatever kind of venting you would use.

And also, i guess you could argue you transgress to a child when it comes to your parents maybe.

Ilovegames1992

Well, at age 33 I live on my own, married etc etc. At this point as could be said for the last 13 years or so if he's really doing something ridiculous I just tell him. But like you said it's difficult not to revert back to the child/parent relationship but I pride myself on handling things as maturely and wisely as possible with my father. I find I'm much happier that way.

Well you're a bigger man than me, i can never forgive my father. I just never will. And if i ever meet him, i don't know what i am capable of, i've never hurt a fly in my life but i can't say its not beyond the realms of possibility for me to react in a volatile manner towards him.

Its probably immature for me to never forgive but i can't help it.

Plus i am naturally a very childlike person, i have somewhat of an arrested development. I wouldn't even deny that. :lol:

LOL. Every persons situation is different and I can respect that. I would probably feel a little violent myself.

My dad is huge so I never considered punching him as an option because I didn't want to get my ass kicked.

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Ilovegames1992

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#44 Ilovegames1992
Member since 2010 • 14221 Posts

[QUOTE="Ilovegames1992"]

[QUOTE="junglist101"]Well, at age 33 I live on my own, married etc etc. At this point as could be said for the last 13 years or so if he's really doing something ridiculous I just tell him. But like you said it's difficult not to revert back to the child/parent relationship but I pride myself on handling things as maturely and wisely as possible with my father. I find I'm much happier that way.

junglist101

Well you're a bigger man than me, i can never forgive my father. I just never will. And if i ever meet him, i don't know what i am capable of, i've never hurt a fly in my life but i can't say its not beyond the realms of possibility for me to react in a volatile manner towards him.

Its probably immature for me to never forgive but i can't help it.

Plus i am naturally a very childlike person, i have somewhat of an arrested development. I wouldn't even deny that. :lol:

LOL. Every persons situation is different and I can respect that. I would probably feel a little violent myself.

My dad is huge so I never considered punching him as an option because I didn't want to get my ass kicked.

Oh same for me. I'm about as pacifistic as it gets. But i'd still punch the sh!t out of him. Or at least get a cricket bat out or something.

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tofu-lion91

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#45 tofu-lion91
Member since 2008 • 13496 Posts
They're not together but if they cheated on their partners I wouldn't care.
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LeonardHatred

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#47 LeonardHatred
Member since 2012 • 269 Posts
i have somewhat of an arrested development. I wouldn't even deny that. :lol:Ilovegames1992
Hear, hear. And now it seems like we're *all* actually admitting the terrifying ability parents have to undo years worth of experience and knowledge, Im stuggling to understand our other friends initial reaction. Beyond hoping to create a chance for self-reflection and betterment, I have no other reason to suggest that. So, despite being ignored by said person I am still hopeful this will eventually be useful for him in the long run and that he can indeed conquer these issues, and wish him luck in doing so. Edit: Major quote fail.
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leeveeu

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#48 leeveeu
Member since 2003 • 3405 Posts
None of my business.
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deactivated-5b19214ec908b

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#49 deactivated-5b19214ec908b
Member since 2007 • 25072 Posts

My dad cheated on my mum and they split up when I was 8. They got back together around 5/6 years later.

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#50 nunovlopes
Member since 2009 • 2638 Posts

[QUOTE="ZumaJones07"][QUOTE="junglist101"]

It's really not your place to need to forgive them for cheating although it's difficult not to be upset when their actions adversly affect you. Cheating is a very complicated matter though.

Ilovegames1992

it's totally my business and it would be selfish of them to think otherwise imo. i couldn't stand the idea of any of them cheating :? i hope i never have to go through that, but i'm sure i won't.

Dude, it's nobodies business but theirs i'm afraid. They have their life, you have yours.

No

The moment you put a child in the world you have the responsibility to do what's best for them. You don't do as you please. Being a parent is precisely that, putting your child's interests in front of yours.