would you marry a pr0nstar?

[QUOTE="MrGeezer"]

[QUOTE="heysharpshooter"]

So what, she should quit her well paying, secure job and work as a waitress because you dont want her banging other porn stars, many of whom are also married. It not like she loves the other people she is doing her job with. Do you know that half the men who do gay porn are straight or bi-sexual? Its a high paying job, and one that not everyone can do.

And they are not random strangers. They are, for lack of a better wordm actors who are screened and take care of themselves. its a buisness, and many people in that industry know each other as friends, colleges and co-workers.

If you banged your secratery, thats different. Thats not your job and thats not hers. Your wife doesn't know about it. You dont make money after you do it. The situation is entirley different.

heysharpshooter

I don't even think is counts as "sleeping around"

Sleeping around is taken to mean one person in the group is "sleeping around behind your back". They are lieing to you, to your friends and family, and potentially in love with some other person while being with you, or in the very least getting their sexual kicks somewhere else.

A porn star is an actor or actress. They are doing it out in the open, with contracts, drug tests and with people they don't have any emotional attachment to. Its purely buisness. its not like they are messing around with a bunch of boyfiriends, laughing at you, and then getting a couple of twenties out of their wallets. Its a legit buisness.

Nope, that would be a massive turn off.

No, I would never want to marry a pornstar.

You have to make comprimises. What you are essentially saying is that she should quit her job because it makes you insecure and change her financial lifestyle so you can sleep better at night. How about "baby, only do one or two movies, and I'll help you get some schooling so you can get a good job."

No, its "you prosession is disgusting, an you need to quit being such a whore/pervert and quit, so I can feel better!"

And its only okay for you to bang your secretary if you are in an open relationship, or don't give a damn. But it is NOT the same thing as being a porn star. its not your job, and you doing it for different reasons than she is.

heysharpshooter

No, I'd be doing it for the EXACT same reason: Because I wanted to. She wants her cars and I can't pay for them, so she gets a job ****ing people. I want to get laid tonight and I know that my wife will be too tired from ****ing guys at the movie studio, so I go to the bar and bang a chick with a nice body. In fact, in her case, it's more likely to be emotionally cheating since she already knows the people she's ****ing. Whereas with me, the chick at the bar means NOTHING.

And yeah, it's about compromises. As I said before, relationships usually aren't solely about love. But we should BOTH have to make compromises. If she refuses to make compromises while I make all the compromises, then it's not an equal partnership. It's just a case of me giving up my principles for love. And I wouldn't expect a woman to give up her principles for me. Either our relationship works, or it doesn't. If it doesn't work, then sacrificing things that I want out of "love" means nothing if she's not willing to reciprocate.

And that's a dealbreaker for me. When I'm in a relationship, I don't have sex with other people. I expect the same from her. If she can excuse her extra-marital sex on the grounds that she doesn't really WANT to have sex, then that's bs since she could just quit her job. If she's allowed to be a professional porn star because she gets paid, then would it be acceptabvle for me to have sex with a woman who had a crush on me, just so long as she paid for my dinner? If it's okay for her to have sex with other men because she doesn't truly love them and has no emotional attachment to them, then how is that any different than me ****ing a woman who I just met at a bar?

I don't like thinking that I own women, and I don't like women owning me. If it's fair for her then it's fair for me, and if it's fair for me then it's fair for her.

But let's propose an alternate scenario. Suppose you hate porn, but marry a porn star anyway. She refuses to stop doing porn, but also demands that you remain 100% sexually faithful to her. You're married for a few years, and you gradually meet a few people that she works with. One of her directors meets you and thinks that you just have something about you. He recommends that you try doing porn too, and gives you his business card if you ever decide to audition for a role. So you think about it, and say "you know, I think I would like to try out porn."

So the next morning you say, "honey, I'm going out today to have sex with XXXX XXXXXX. You know her, right? Really sweet lady. Anyway, I'm gonna **** her today at around 3 PM, because I think I want to get into the porn business too. See you tonight, honey!"

How is that gonna fly? Just curious, but think about that as an alternate scenario. If you suddenly went out to **** other women after a few years and said "but it's okay, it's porn and I'm getting paid", how much do you expect your pornstar wife to be 100% cool with that?

[QUOTE="heysharpshooter"]

[QUOTE="MrGeezer"] What the hell? So it's ok to sleep around as long as you ask for money afterwards?jimmyjammer69

I don't even think is counts as "sleeping around"

Sleeping around is taken to mean one person in the group is "sleeping around behind your back". They are lieing to you, to your friends and family, and potentially in love with some other person while being with you, or in the very least getting their sexual kicks somewhere else.

A porn star is an actor or actress. They are doing it out in the open, with contracts, drug tests and with people they don't have any emotional attachment to. Its purely buisness. its not like they are messing around with a bunch of boyfiriends, laughing at you, and then getting a couple of twenties out of their wallets. Its a legit buisness.

If that is his or hers profession, then yes. Its perfectly okay for he/she to have sex as long as its mechanical, joyless and pays the bills, because that is their job. And I never brought up gender: I used she because I am a man, but it goes for either gender. And they may be friends and colleges, but they are also PROFESSIONALS. Porn is a career, not a pleasure cruise. Just because someone enjoys watching it does not mean the people involved really enjoy making it. I doubt the Christians found being torn to pieces by lions in the Colesium fun, but a lot of people enjoyed watching it.

I am not saying your discomfort with the idea of dating a porn star is wrong: you have the right to feel how you want, and I dont think you a bad person for feeling that way. I would never be able to date a female body builder: it bothers me. But what I read a lot in this thread was people wouldn't date a porn star because they are disgusting, unenthical people who sleep around on you and don't really care about close, personal relationships. and that is BS.

[QUOTE="heysharpshooter"]

You have to make comprimises. What you are essentially saying is that she should quit her job because it makes you insecure and change her financial lifestyle so you can sleep better at night. How about "baby, only do one or two movies, and I'll help you get some schooling so you can get a good job."

No, its "you prosession is disgusting, an you need to quit being such a whore/pervert and quit, so I can feel better!"

And its only okay for you to bang your secretary if you are in an open relationship, or don't give a damn. But it is NOT the same thing as being a porn star. its not your job, and you doing it for different reasons than she is.

MrGeezer

No, I'd be doing it for the EXACT same reason: Because I wanted to. She wants her cars and I can't pay for them, so she gets a job ****ing people. I want to get laid tonight and I know that my wife will be too tired from ****ing guys at the movie studio, so I go to the bar and bang a chick with a nice body. In fact, in her case, it's more likely to be emotionally cheating since she already knows the people she's ****ing. Whereas with me, the chick at the bar means NOTHING.

And yeah, it's about compromises. As I said before, relationships usually aren't solely about love. But we should BOTH have to make compromises. If she refuses to make compromises while I make all the compromises, then it's not an equal partnership. It's just a case of me giving up my principles for love. And I wouldn't expect a woman to give up her principles for me. Either our relationship works, or it doesn't. If it doesn't work, then sacrificing things that I want out of "love" means nothing if she's not willing to reciprocate.

And that's a dealbreaker for me. When I'm in a relationship, I don't have sex with other people. I expect the same from her. If she can excuse her extra-marital sex on the grounds that she doesn't really WANT to have sex, then that's bs since she could just quit her job. If she's allowed to be a professional porn star because she gets paid, then would it be acceptabvle for me to have sex with a woman who had a crush on me, just so long as she paid for my dinner? If it's okay for her to have sex with other men because she doesn't truly love them and has no emotional attachment to them, then how is that any different than me ****ing a woman who I just met at a bar?

I don't like thinking that I own women, and I don't like women owning me. If it's fair for her then it's fair for me, and if it's fair for me then it's fair for her.

But let's propose an alternate scenario. Suppose you hate porn, but marry a porn star anyway. She refuses to stop doing porn, but also demands that you remain 100% sexually faithful to her. You're married for a few years, and you gradually meet a few people that she works with. One of her directors meets you and thinks that you just have something about you. He recommends that you try doing porn too, and gives you his business card if you ever decide to audition for a role. So you think about it, and say "you know, I think I would like to try out porn."

So the next morning you say, "honey, I'm going out today to have sex with XXXX XXXXXX. You know her, right? Really sweet lady. Anyway, I'm gonna **** her today at around 3 PM, because I think I want to get into the porn business too. See you tonight, honey!"

How is that gonna fly? Just curious, but think about that as an alternate scenario. If you suddenly went out to **** other women after a few years and said "but it's okay, it's porn and I'm getting paid", how much do you expect your pornstar wife to be 100% cool with that?

If your wife is in porn and forbids you from doing porn, then that is wrong. If your wife is in porn, but doesn't want you screwing females for fun behind her back without the STD screening and contracts that go on in the porn buisness, then I think she has that right. Its the same if the man does porn and the woman doesn't(Im not just defending female porn stars).

And as I said before, if you are not cool with dating or marrying a porn star, that is fine. You are not being stupid. But don't pretend its because porn stars are horrible, pervreted sluts who can't love other people like non-porn stars do. its becauseYOU are insecure.

its becauseYOU are insecure.heysharpshooter

I am not saying your discomfort with the idea of dating a porn star is wrong: you have the right to feel how you want, and I dont think you a bad person for feeling that way. I would never be able to date a female body builder: it bothers me. But what I read a lot in this thread was people wouldn't date a porn star because they are disgusting, unenthical people who sleep around on you and don't really care about close, personal relationships. and that is BS.

heysharpshooter

I take objection to marrying someone who CURRENTLY cheats because I'm uncomfortable marrying someone who chooses to have sex with other men. That's a dealbreaker for me, just as it's a dealbreaker if this hypothetical woman won't marry me because then she won't be able to afford quite as few luxuries. You compromise as far as you go, and no further.

The objection I have is what the hell this has to do with love. The objection I have is claims such as "If you love her, why should it matter if she does porn?" That's a huge double standard. Because If I love her, then I should expect that she loves me. And if she really loves me, then why can't she give up her porn lifestyle and make do with less money? As long as she's with me, that's all that matters, right?

But no, that's NOT all that matters. In my case, my sexual hangups matter, and in her case money matters. If she gets to duck out of the marriage because she loves money more than she loves me, then how is it that I get made out to be the bad guy because I like sexual fidelity more than I like her?

This is a double standard here, plain and simple.

[QUOTE="jimmyjammer69"][QUOTE="heysharpshooter"]

I don't even think is counts as "sleeping around"

Sleeping around is taken to mean one person in the group is "sleeping around behind your back". They are lieing to you, to your friends and family, and potentially in love with some other person while being with you, or in the very least getting their sexual kicks somewhere else.

A porn star is an actor or actress. They are doing it out in the open, with contracts, drug tests and with people they don't have any emotional attachment to. Its purely buisness. its not like they are messing around with a bunch of boyfiriends, laughing at you, and then getting a couple of twenties out of their wallets. Its a legit buisness.

heysharpshooter

If that is his or hers profession, then yes. Its perfectly okay for he/she to have sex as long as its mechanical, joyless and pays the bills, because that is their job. And I never brought up gender: I used she because I am a man, but it goes for either gender. And they may be friends and colleges, but they are also PROFESSIONALS. Porn is a career, not a pleasure cruise. Just because someone enjoys watching it does not mean the people involved really enjoy making it. I doubt the Christians found being torn to pieces by lions in the Colesium fun, but a lot of people enjoyed watching it.

I am not saying your discomfort with the idea of dating a porn star is wrong: you have the right to feel how you want, and I dont think you a bad person for feeling that way. I would never be able to date a female body builder: it bothers me. But what I read a lot in this thread was people wouldn't date a porn star because they are disgusting, unenthical people who sleep around on you and don't really care about close, personal relationships. and that is BS.

I wouldn't date a pornstar because I don't want my girlfriend sleeping with other guys, not because I think she's filthy or whatever other sordid grudges you're accusing me of harbouring - if I think a girl's unclean or whatever, I just wouldn't be attracted so I'd never get involved. You want a half-open relationship with a girl who's going to bang other guys every day and forbid you from doing the same, then go knock yourself out. Not my business. Surprisingly, I actually don't think anybody has tried to even insinuate that pornstars are necessarily morally lax or inferior - I think YOU'RE the first one to mention that possibilty.

If your wife is in porn and forbids you from doing porn, then that is wrong. If your wife is in porn, but doesn't want you screwing females for fun behind her back without the STD screening and contracts that go on in the porn buisness, then I think she has that right. Its the same if the man does porn and the woman doesn't(Im not just defending female porn stars).

And as I said before, if you are not cool with dating or marrying a porn star, that is fine. You are not being stupid. But don't pretend its because porn stars are horrible, pervreted sluts who can't love other people like non-porn stars do. its becauseYOU are insecure.

heysharpshooter

I've said nothing of the sort. I've simply taken objection to the opinion that "if love is true, nothing else matters". Because that's bs.

Would I love a pornstar? Sure, I love a hell of a lot of people, but that doesn't mean I'd marry them. We AREN'T talking about love, we are talking about marriage. And when it comes to marriage, love isn't enough for me. Love has to be there, but love isn't enough. The objection I have is with the claim that anyone who wouldn't marry a porn star is just shallow, and doesn't really love her in the first place. Love is NOT all there is, and people refuse to marry other people for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with love.

But hell, porn stars aren't the only ones can get screened for STDs. If I have sex with a random woman at the bar, and then refuse to have sex with my wife until I get screened for STDs, would THAT make it okay?

No, STD's are ravaging the porn industry and I don't intend to be a part of it, and I'm not the kind of guy that would enjoy having a wife that has sex with a lot of other people.Z0MBIES

Nope, if she is doing that. I can definately tell you she would not be the personality I am looking for.

lol no. but I might non-exclusively date a porn star... if I wasn't already married. I would marry an ex-porn star though.

albeit almost automatically qualifying him as incredibly hot, i wouldn't marry someone in the porn industry.

nope

no i wouldnt

You never know with love.

Ex-pornstar, yes.

Current porn star, no.

MrGeezer

No, I would never.

Only if she promised not to laugh.cd_rom

No pornstars look really nasty. :P

well it really depends actually. i guess i could consider it if im in love.

i'm gonna have to go with no

hell no

No way. If I don't have respect for someone's professional activity then I won't be able to have a great relationship with them.

Eh, depends on the pornstar. I probably would if she quit, and she wasn't a general butthole.

[QUOTE="ariz3260"]

A devout Christian working in the porn industry...

good luck finding one

entropyecho

No. I would just not be able to get over it...her sleeping with other men for a job -even if she gave it up- She could be my 'perfect match', yet I still would not be able to. -it may be stupid, irrational, illogical, etc....but it is just one of those things. It does remind me of a joke I once heard: A guy gets to go out on a date with a beautiful, sexy, pornstar. She says 'I have to work on Tues., Wed., Thurs., Fri...how about we go out on Sat.' So he says 'is there any way we can go out on Mon.'rawsavon

I had to read it twice to get it, and then I smirked. :)

On-topic: No I couldn't, for the above reasons.

Nope.