Would you marry a woman who refused to take your last name?

I'd really try to get her to, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I think the more important question here is whether or not she expects our children (assuming we have some) to take her last name rather than mine. I think that would be a problem...KeitekeTokage

Potential topic in the future? I think so!

I don't care

Don't care as long as my last name is on the kids' birth certificates.ff7fan2

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"]I'd really try to get her to, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I think the more important question here is whether or not she expects our children (assuming we have some) to take her last name rather than mine. I think that would be a problem...commonfate

Potential topic in the future? I think so!

Shouldn't that raise a red flag anyway? "Hey honey, I want our children to take my last name instead of yours, is that ok?" "Uh......no?".

[QUOTE="commonfate"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"]I'd really try to get her to, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I think the more important question here is whether or not she expects our children (assuming we have some) to take her last name rather than mine. I think that would be a problem...KeitekeTokage

Potential topic in the future? I think so!

Shouldn't that raise a red flag anyway? "Hey honey, I want our children to take my last name instead of yours, is that ok?" "Uh......no?".

- Not to start an argument, but I find it a bit hard to believe that out of 7,000,000,000 people in the world there's no one else with your last name.

- What if she feels the same?

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"]

[QUOTE="commonfate"]

Potential topic in the future? I think so!

worlock77

Shouldn't that raise a red flag anyway? "Hey honey, I want our children to take my last name instead of yours, is that ok?" "Uh......no?".

- Not to start an argument, but I find it a bit hard to believe that out of 7,000,000,000 people in the world there's no one else with your last name.

- What if she feels the same?

Well I don't think I could because it shows that she shows a lack of respect to my family. Then again I couldn't care less about the last name, as long as we both love eachother it's cool.

If I ever get married I would like to keep my last name, as it means a lot to me. And I would hope I would marry a man who would understand and respect that.

Or there is the whole hyphenating or combining surnames thing.

I wouldn't care unless she has a ridiculous last name.

[QUOTE="worlock77"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"] Definitely! I don't think I could deal with having my children take her name rather than mine, I mean its one thing for her to not want to take my name, but without my children, my family name dies, she isn't relevant as far as that's concerned.

Shouldn't that raise a red flag anyway? "Hey honey, I want our children to take my last name instead of yours, is that ok?" "Uh......no?".

KeitekeTokage

- Not to start an argument, but I find it a bit hard to believe that out of 7,000,000,000 people in the world there's no one else with your last name.

- What if she feels the same?

- So then what was that "my family name dies" bit about?

- I meant what if she felt the same way about the kids taking her last name? What if she felt that raised a red flag if you refused?

Well I don't think I could because it shows that she shows a lack of respect to my family. Then again I couldn't care less about the last name, as long as we both love eachother it's cool.

nickz_fpk

You couldn't care less about the last name but you wouldn't marry a woman who doesn't take yours?

why the hell would i care?

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"][QUOTE="worlock77"]

- Not to start an argument, but I find it a bit hard to believe that out of 7,000,000,000 people in the world there's no one else with your last name.

- What if she feels the same?

worlock77

- So then what was that "my family name dies" bit about?

- I meant what if she felt the same way about the kids taking her last name? What if she felt that raised a red flag if you refused?

[QUOTE="worlock77"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"] - Could you point out to me where I said there weren't? I don't see your point? - Feels the same about what? Not wanting to take my last name? Then read my comment again, I said it would be a problem.KeitekeTokage

- So then what was that "my family name dies" bit about?

- I meant what if she felt the same way about the kids taking her last name? What if she felt that raised a red flag if you refused?

I'm not confused about anything, I just think it's a pretty silly statement. It kinda reminds me of my mother who said it was important to have a son since I'm "the last one to carry the family name". Quite the contrary, there are around 25,000 people in the US alone with our name.

- My family name that identifies my specific lineage, not the ordering of a group of letters that make up my last name, would no longer be identified by the last name from that point on (assuming my brother doesn't have children with his last name). I'm really confused why you don't understand this considering last names are held to be important by many people, especially when that last name is not as common as others are. Where in the world do the other 7 billion people on the planet come into this? What use is there for a person by the same last name to be a state over or even 30 miles away from me when my children and all of their children will no longer be identified by a name I feel is important. What are you confused about? - Then we'd both have a problem that would need to be resolved? I'm not seeing where any of this is forming a point.KeitekeTokage

What if you only have daughters? When they have kids, and they take the man's name, then your name is dead any way, and it won't matter what their last names were.

And ultimately, why is it more important to identify your lineage by your last name than your wife's?

Sure. I honestly wouldn't care at all.

I honestly don't see the big deal around a last name.

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"][QUOTE="worlock77"]

I'm not confused about anything, I just think it's a pretty silly statement. It kinda reminds me of my mother who said it was important to have a son since I'm "the last one to carry the family name". Quite the contrary, there are around 25,000 people in the US alone with our name.

worlock77

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"]- My family name that identifies my specific lineage, not the ordering of a group of letters that make up my last name, would no longer be identified by the last name from that point on (assuming my brother doesn't have children with his last name). I'm really confused why you don't understand this considering last names are held to be important by many people, especially when that last name is not as common as others are. Where in the world do the other 7 billion people on the planet come into this? What use is there for a person by the same last name to be a state over or even 30 miles away from me when my children and all of their children will no longer be identified by a name I feel is important. What are you confused about? - Then we'd both have a problem that would need to be resolved? I'm not seeing where any of this is forming a point.BuryMe

What if you only have daughters? When they have kids, and they take the man's name, then your name is dead any way, and it won't matter what their last names were.

And ultimately, why is it more important to identify your lineage by your last name than your wife's?

Lastly, whether or not its important is up to the person. If they feel like they would rather have their children identified by their last name as opposed to the womans, that's their choice or preference. Some people care more about their last name than others. As a female poster said last page, which you and worlock ironically didn't pick up, she'd prefer the man respect her decision for her to allow her to keep her last name, as opposed to taking his.

As long as she doesn't hyponate it.

I don't like my last name so I'd be fine with it.

i would be willing to take hers

Unless her name is Miss Love and your name is John Cock then I dont see a problem with taking both names.

So its a silly statement because you say so on the basis that your mother made a similar statement that you also find silly? Jeeze worlock, you really do go to town backing up your arguments :? I'm glad you've pointed out how many people have your last name, although I'm not sure how its relevant. By comparison, according to a few websites I've searched on there are 100-200 people in the United States with my last name.KeitekeTokage

So your name will not, in fact, die out if you do not have sons that carry you name. Thus my point is confirmed.

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"]So its a silly statement because you say so on the basis that your mother made a similar statement that you also find silly? Jeeze worlock, you really do go to town backing up your arguments :? I'm glad you've pointed out how many people have your last name, although I'm not sure how its relevant. By comparison, according to a few websites I've searched on there are 100-200 people in the United States with my last name.worlock77

So your name will not, in fact, die out if you do not have sons that carry you name. Thus my point is confirmed.

[QUOTE="worlock77"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"]So its a silly statement because you say so on the basis that your mother made a similar statement that you also find silly? Jeeze worlock, you really do go to town backing up your arguments :? I'm glad you've pointed out how many people have your last name, although I'm not sure how its relevant. By comparison, according to a few websites I've searched on there are 100-200 people in the United States with my last name.KeitekeTokage

So your name will not, in fact, die out if you do not have sons that carry you name. Thus my point is confirmed.

Your linage? Your from a giant tree of multiple family names.. Who decides which tree or branch is the most important? Its meaningless.

No, that would be weird.

[QUOTE="worlock77"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"]So its a silly statement because you say so on the basis that your mother made a similar statement that you also find silly? Jeeze worlock, you really do go to town backing up your arguments :? I'm glad you've pointed out how many people have your last name, although I'm not sure how its relevant. By comparison, according to a few websites I've searched on there are 100-200 people in the United States with my last name.KeitekeTokage

So your name will not, in fact, die out if you do not have sons that carry you name. Thus my point is confirmed.

So basically you want your genes to carry on, not your name.

More women are doing it these days, but it does make it a little confusing for the kids. But modern society seems to be about discarding the traditions of the past, so whatever floats your boat.

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"][QUOTE="worlock77"]

So your name will not, in fact, die out if you do not have sons that carry you name. Thus my point is confirmed.

sSubZerOo

Your linage? Your from a giant tree of multiple family names.. Who decides which tree or branch is the most important? Its meaningless.

But then again, if it so meaningless and does't matter, then why wouldn't she just take your name? What's the big deal there if names aren't important? Unless of course, they are.

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"][QUOTE="worlock77"]

So your name will not, in fact, die out if you do not have sons that carry you name. Thus my point is confirmed.

worlock77

So basically you want your genes to carry on, not your name.

[QUOTE="worlock77"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"] Actually, had you been paying attention, which you clearly haven't been, you'd realize I've already explained to you I'm not necessarily concerned with the specific ordering of letters that make up my last name. Have you not been paying attention? Remember that part where I talked about lineage, identification of my specific lineage, any of this ringing a bell for you?KeitekeTokage

So basically you want your genes to carry on, not your name.

And your wife's name identifies her, her siblings, her parents and so on. Do you not think that is important to her?

[QUOTE="sSubZerOo"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"] Actually, had you been paying attention, which you clearly haven't been, you'd realize I've already explained to you I'm not necessarily concerned with the specific ordering of letters that make up my last name. Have you not been paying attention? Remember that part where I talked about lineage, identification of my specific lineage, any of this ringing a bell for you?KeitekeTokage

Your linage? Your from a giant tree of multiple family names.. Who decides which tree or branch is the most important? Its meaningless.

What your suggesting is that your fathers branch is your linage, and that is not a combination of the two.. That is infact incorrect.. Your entire point is meaningless, your geneology has had dozens of last names in it.. And your current last name is no more "yours" is your mothers maiden name.. Or your ancestors.... No where did I say your linage is unimportant, what I am pointing out is your idea of what linage is, is ridiculous and incorrect... And I am not stating since teh beginning of time.. I am merely looking at only the last 100 or 200 years..The idea of last name has nothing to do with linage importance when it comes to marriage.. Its a fossil of a dieing patriachal society in which women were commodities or a means to a end in creating alliances.

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"][QUOTE="sSubZerOo"]

Your linage? Your from a giant tree of multiple family names.. Who decides which tree or branch is the most important? Its meaningless.

What your suggesting is that your fathers branch is your linage, and that is not a combination of the two.. That is infact incorrect.. Your entire point is meaningless, your geneology has had dozens of last names in it.. And your current last name is no more "yours" is your mothers maiden name.. Or your ancestors.... No where did I say your linage is unimportant, what I am pointing out is your idea of what linage is, is ridiculous and incorrect... And I am not stating since teh beginning of time.. I am merely looking at only the last 100 or 200 years..The idea of last name has nothing to do with linage importance when it comes to marriage.. Its a fossil of a dieing patriachal society in which women were commodities or a means to a end in creating alliances.

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"][QUOTE="worlock77"]

So basically you want your genes to carry on, not your name.

worlock77

And your wife's name identifies her, her siblings, her parents and so on. Do you not think that is important to her?

It would be weird but if I loved her a lot then I wouldn't care.

[QUOTE="sSubZerOo"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"] I didn't say my tree branch was the most important? If you'd like to use strange analogies, my tree branch is meaningful to me, so I would prefer to have my children identified by the family name that identifies the people who are most important to me (my family). By your logic there's no reason to have children at all, considering were over populated and were all from the same giant tree anyway, so people are basically having children for you. Unless....you're saying that it'd be a preference? *gasp*sonicare

What your suggesting is that your fathers branch is your linage, and that is not a combination of the two.. That is infact incorrect.. Your entire point is meaningless, your geneology has had dozens of last names in it.. And your current last name is no more "yours" is your mothers maiden name.. Or your ancestors.... No where did I say your linage is unimportant, what I am pointing out is your idea of what linage is, is ridiculous and incorrect... And I am not stating since teh beginning of time.. I am merely looking at only the last 100 or 200 years..The idea of last name has nothing to do with linage importance when it comes to marriage.. Its a fossil of a dieing patriachal society in which women were commodities or a means to a end in creating alliances.

It is ridiculous because because it specifically focuses on the linage of the male with the last name policy.. Where with this practice it makes the female completely unimportant in the matter.. While in actuality your as much a product of your mother's side as you are your father's side..

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"][QUOTE="sSubZerOo"]

Your linage? Your from a giant tree of multiple family names.. Who decides which tree or branch is the most important? Its meaningless.

sSubZerOo

What your suggesting is that your fathers branch is your linage, and that is not a combination of the two.. That is infact incorrect.. Your entire point is meaningless, your geneology has had dozens of last names in it.. And your current last name is no more "yours" is your mothers maiden name.. Or your ancestors.... No where did I say your linage is unimportant, what I am pointing out is your idea of what linage is, is ridiculous and incorrect... And I am not stating since teh beginning of time.. I am merely looking at only the last 100 or 200 years..The idea of last name has nothing to do with linage importance when it comes to marriage.. Its a fossil of a dieing patriachal society in which women were commodities or a means to a end in creating alliances.

[QUOTE="sonicare"][QUOTE="sSubZerOo"]

What your suggesting is that your fathers branch is your linage, and that is not a combination of the two.. That is infact incorrect.. Your entire point is meaningless, your geneology has had dozens of last names in it.. And your current last name is no more "yours" is your mothers maiden name.. Or your ancestors.... No where did I say your linage is unimportant, what I am pointing out is your idea of what linage is, is ridiculous and incorrect... And I am not stating since teh beginning of time.. I am merely looking at only the last 100 or 200 years..The idea of last name has nothing to do with linage importance when it comes to marriage.. Its a fossil of a dieing patriachal society in which women were commodities or a means to a end in creating alliances.

sSubZerOo

It is ridiculous because because it specifically focuses on the linage of the male with the last name policy.. Where with this practice it makes the female completely unimportant in the matter.. While in actuality your as much a product of your mother's side as you are your father's side..

[QUOTE="worlock77"]

[QUOTE="KeitekeTokage"] I'll try this again. I of course don't want to give out my real last name so we will use...Dizale as our example. Dizale identifies myself, my brother, my mother, my father, and so on. These people are important to me, this family is important to me, and by extension, the name it carries is important to me. Subsequently, I would prefer that my biological children carry this same name, and not the name of my wife, which doesn't mean as much to me. KeitekeTokage

And your wife's name identifies her, her siblings, her parents and so on. Do you not think that is important to her?

It's fairly pathetic that you resort to insults when I am simply carrying on a discussion here. All I did was point out that you, contrary to your initial statement, were probably not the last person to carry your name. Which you yourself later said as much. And I'm not sure why you mention wanting to keep your own last name when no one has suggest you change it.

Well marriage in my mind is based on trust and love, so yes I would marry a woman if she didn't WANT to take my last name. However if she outright refused and called my last name stupid...we would have a problem.

To respect tradition, I would ask my lover to change her surname to mine.

We both agreed to it when we get married. :)