Would you stay with your partner if they cheated on you?

Nobody would ever dare cheat on me.

:o

The big question! I'm finding in my youthful life that cheating doesn't seem to be the massive deal it once was. I know a whole bunch of couples who have cheated on each other, come clean and stayed together regardless. I think it's probably something to do with sex being more of a simple bodily function these days than the very serious, very important act that it once was to prior generations. But enough of my armchair theorising!

What would YOU do if your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife cheated on you? And consider the two different scenarios:

1) You simply find out that they did it. Walk in while it's happening, hear it from someone else etc.

2) They tell you themselves, come clean and look sincerely sorry and upset that it happened.

What say you!? :o

Ninja-Hippo

Either way, it's over between us. That is, unless she has me by the balls (like in a metaphorical sense...like if dumping her would truly ruin my life).

If she's got some serious leverage over me to the extent that letting her continue cheating on me is gonna hurt me less than separating from her, then I'll stay with her. Otherwise, it's over.

She can say she's sorry all she wants to, but if she did it once then there's no reason to believe that she won't do it again.

meh maybe, I'd make her feel guilty and keep her around for when I need a quick lay while looking for a new girlfriend/contemplate being single.

I am not really at the point where any relationship I am in is serious, so its not that big a deal. Obviously the betrayal hurts, but as far as lasting impact no

mrbojangles25

Guess that depends on whether you think love and sex are the same thing. Sex is a part of love ofcourse. but sex can be its own thing. I guess this is something me and my partner need to talk about. :oops: . I'm not exactly sure how I feel about 'open' relationships. I want my partner to be only mine in my heart... but sex is.. let's face it. fun.

Infinite_Access

If it's an "open relationship", then it isn't "cheating".

The topic isn't about "open relationships", it is about "cheating". There are absolutely couples out there who mutually are fine with the other person having sex with different people. But it's not "cheating" if the other person is okay with it.

That's a very difficult question. If the girl told me about it with tears in her eyes, promised to change and repented of it immediately, I would probably forgive her and continue the relationship. If she tried to keep it under the radar and I ended up finding out about the affair from someone else, I wouldn't stay with her.

IF she cheated on me with another girl its cool. If it was another guy...gtfo.

I have had it happen and I stayed. We eventually broke up but the reasons had nothing to do with her faithfulness. When I say "I love you" what I mean by this is "I will put forth the action of loving you regardless of how I might feel and regardless of whether or not you deserve my love." I also say it with the knowledge that the person I am speaking to is as imperfect as I am.mindstorm

Yeah, but you can love a person without actually still being in a romantic relationship with them.

It's like, I once knew a crackhead kid who'd rob peoples' houses and steal peoples' cars in order to get money for crack and hookers. And he was living with his mom, and his mom would actually let him live in her home, and even give him her money so that he could buy crack and hookers instead of robbing people. And...I'm not denying that she loved him. But she can love him while still saying "get the **** out of my house, and I'm not giving you a damn penny".

Ultimately, this particular dude ended up killing someone during one of his robberies, and ended up in prison. From what I hear, he also had AIDS. Which may or may not have been a result of the money that his own mother gave him so that he could keep buying crack and hookers. Did she love the guy? I'm sure she did. But...love didn't mean that she had to ENABLE the stuff that was ruining his life. If she'd been harsher with the dude earlier and kicked him to the curb years before, then maybe he would've realized what he was doing before he hit rock-bottom.

Anyway, you're totally entitled to see things your way. I just personally fell that "dumping her ass" or "kicking her to the curb" doesn't necessarily mean that I've STOPPED loving or respecting her. I can love her and I can still respect her, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to put up with the baggage of being romantically involved with her. Sometimes there comes a point where one says "I still love you, but we can't keep living like this. So you've gotta go."

IF she cheated on me with another girl its cool. If it was another guy...gtfo.ramealdabest

laffo

Whats with those limited poll options TC? I refuse to vote. I will say that if i found out that she cheated on me with another girl i would not care at all, well thats a lie, i would be a little mad she didnt invite me. If i were to walk in on her with another girl, my clothes would fly off father than Jim Carrey's in Bruce Almighty :P If she cheated with a guy? GTFO

If they were honest about it, and I truly cared for them, yes.

But I may be a a little bit more suspicious, and protective over her.

No.

I definitely couldn't.
Even if I loved her more than anything in the world, finding out that she cheated on me would ruin every ounce of attraction I had for her.

hell no because i've been in this situation before. she cheated, cried, told me she was sorry and drunk at the time, would never do it again, put on the puppy dog eyes, i believed her and loved her and took her back..later on i found out she cheated on me AGAIN...she put on the same act and i kicked her sorry ass to the curb. some cheaters may truly want to change but i think a lot of them, once you take them back they see you as weak and think they can get away with it again. i dont deal with those kinds of people anymore.

It's kinda tricky for me since I believe every person has the potential to cheat. Still that doesn't mean I'm not going to feel betrayed, and a lack of trust when it happens. If she told me I think it would be worse than if I found out on my own. I'd feel like she was trying to hurt me with it. If I cheated on a girl I would try my hardest to make sure she never found out not for my sake but hers. Why would you do such a selfish thing like that? "hey I feel really guilty about this so I'm gonna confess to you about it, make you feel horrible, and then I'll start to feel better." What kind of person can do that and then claim they still love you? If you cheated, and feel it's better to tell them just break up w/ them instead cause you don't deserve that person, and they won't have trust issues w/ their next relationship.

Anyway it would probably depend on a few things. 1st I think if she told me then it would be over. If I found out then it would depend on if I think she put herself in a position to cheat on me, and if I think she'll do it again. There's a difference between drinking alone w/ her ex cause she's mad at me, and her accidently sharing a cab w/ david bowie when I've been away for 6 months. As I said before everybody has the potential to cheat, and you can't really blame them when something crazy like that happens.

It's kinda tricky for me since I believe every person has the potential to cheat. Still that doesn't mean I'm not going to feel betrayed, and a lack of trust when it happens. If she told me I think it would be worse than if I found out on my own. I'd feel like she was trying to hurt me with it. If I cheated on a girl I would try my hardest to make sure she never found out not for my sake but hers. Why would you do such a selfish thing like that? "hey I feel really guilty about this so I'm gonna confess to you about it, make you feel horrible, and then I'll start to feel better." What kind of person can do that and then claim they still love you? If you cheated, and feel it's better to tell them just break up w/ them instead cause you don't deserve that person, and they won't have trust issues w/ their next relationship.

Anyway it would probably depend on a few things. 1st I think if she told me then it would be over. If I found out then it would depend on if I think she put herself in a position to cheat on me, and if I think she'll do it again. There's a difference between drinking alone w/ her ex cause she's mad at me, and her accidently sharing a cab w/ david bowie when I've been away for 6 months. As I said before everybody has the potential to cheat, and you can't really blame them when something crazy like that happens.

jrhawk42

Or maybe I'm just hoplessly and pathetically and romantically faithful to girls I have feelings for.

DigitalExile

Dump 'em in a heartbeat.Theokhoth

Nothing to add really.

no. they are now grass to me.

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]Or maybe I'm just hoplessly and pathetically and romantically faithful to girls I have feelings for.

Suzy_Q_Kazoo

[QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"]

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]Or maybe I'm just hoplessly and pathetically and romantically faithful to girls I have feelings for.

DigitalExile

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]

[QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"]You make that seem like it's a bad thing!

Suzy_Q_Kazoo

You make some good points, but at the same time if I'm really hungry I don't go steal food. Cheating is a sign that one party isn't happy and no matter the reason or circumstances of cheating more or less say that that person has no interest being in their current relationship. Or maybe I'm just hoplessly and pathetically and romantically faithful to girls I have feelings for.

DigitalExile

No matter how good the relationship everybody has doubts at one point or another if you don't you're crazy (if you don't think you do you're probably dishonest). Combine those doubts w/ the right circumstances and it has nothing to do w/ the current relationship. Now some people tend to have those doubts less, and tend to avoid those circumstances, but they are still possible just highly unlikely. Then there are those that constantly doubt, and go seeking out those circumstances. I think many people put too much on the act itself instead of the circumstance surrounding the act.

There are plenty of situations where honest people would steal food, but an honest person would try to avoid those situations.

[QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"]

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]Well, no, when I find a girl who wants to have the same faithfulness towards me it'll be great, but in my experience it just leaves me being the one to get cheated on. -.-

DigitalExile

I think I'd cancel my engagement

No matter how good the relationship everybody has doubts at one point or another if you don't you're crazy (if you don't think you do you're probably dishonest). Combine those doubts w/ the right circumstances and it has nothing to do w/ the current relationship. Now some people tend to have those doubts less, and tend to avoid those circumstances, but they are still possible just highly unlikely. Then there are those that constantly doubt, and go seeking out those circumstances. I think many people put too much on the act itself instead of the circumstance surrounding the act.

There are plenty of situations where honest people would steal food, but an honest person would try to avoid those situations.

jrhawk42

It is, yes. It actually makes up the basis for a substantial part of my optimism. I'm not just trying to be nice :PSuzy_Q_Kazoo

Optimisn is something that escapes me on a regular basis. I wish I could have the same outlook on things like you.

DigitalExile

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]Optimisn is something that escapes me on a regular basis. I wish I could have the same outlook on things like you.

Suzy_Q_Kazoo

Or, I keep my excitment/good feelings contained to smaller issues so that the big picture never really see's any of it.

Anyway. =x

I think for me it's because I've been disappointed a lot by people, so that I stop myself from trying to feel too good about things until they've come to fruition (is that a word?). Too many times I've been excited or happy for something to happen and it just falls apart and I'm left on my own kicking myself for caring.

Or, I keep my excitment/good feelings contained to smaller issues so that the big picture never really see's any of it.

Anyway. =x

DigitalExile

You're going to be disappointed at times; it happens. I think a large part of it is KNOWING that bad things are still going to happen no matter what, and it's not always in your power either. At some point you need to decide whether the cost outweighs the benefit though.

I don't mind, but you don't have to speak about such personal things if you don't want to. I understand :P

Yes, it is a word!

You're going to be disappointed at times; it happens. I think a large part of it is KNOWING that bad things are still going to happen no matter what, and it's not always in your power either. At some point you need to decide whether the cost outweighs the benefit though.

I don't mind, but you don't have to speak about such personal things if you don't want to. I understand :P

Suzy_Q_Kazoo

Lol, I just don't want to keep going on and on and being a downer. :P I'm going through a rough patch in lfie, but I'm generally an upbeat person!

DigitalExile

Hahah, I'm not doubting that! Regardless, if you ever want someone to talk to I'm but a PM away :P

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]Lol, I just don't want to keep going on and on and being a downer. :P I'm going through a rough patch in lfie, but I'm generally an upbeat person!

Suzy_Q_Kazoo

Hahah, I'm not doubting that! Regardless, if you ever want someone to talk to I'm but a PM away :P

Probably not, I didn't last time.

Or I guess I should say I wouldn't have stayed?He found out that I knew and broke up with me before I did, so I didn't even get the satisfaction of dumping him.

zeldaluff

[QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"]

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]Lol, I just don't want to keep going on and on and being a downer. :P I'm going through a rough patch in lfie, but I'm generally an upbeat person!

DigitalExile

Hahah, I'm not doubting that! Regardless, if you ever want someone to talk to I'm but a PM away :P

Maybe you guys should get together

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]

[QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"]It happens to the best of us. I completely don't mind though, as I enjoy talking with people.

Hahah, I'm not doubting that! Regardless, if you ever want someone to talk to I'm but a PM away :P

Adrianstalker

Maybe you guys should get together

[QUOTE="Adrianstalker"]

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]Thank you for the offer. :)

DigitalExile

Maybe you guys should get together

There is, but not on this case. My logic went: Opposites match. Exile is pessimist and traumatized with cheating, Suzy is positive and good hearted, will not cheat.

That is where my joke comes from : )

There is, but not on this case. My logic went: Opposites match. Exile is pessimist and traumatized with cheating, Suzy is positive and good hearted, will not cheat.

That is where my joke comes from : )

Adrianstalker

I am flattered by that :P

There is, but not on this case. My logic went: Opposites match. Exile is pessimist and traumatized with cheating, Suzy is positive and good hearted, will not cheat.

That is where my joke comes from : )

Adrianstalker

Edit:

[QUOTE="Adrianstalker"]There is, but not on this case. My logic went: Opposites match. Exile is pessimist and traumatized with cheating, Suzy is positive and good hearted, will not cheat.

That is where my joke comes from : )

Suzy_Q_Kazoo

I am flattered by that :P

And you listened to my nonsense! :p

DigitalExile

[QUOTE="DigitalExile"]And you listened to my nonsense! :p

Suzy_Q_Kazoo

Helll nooo , dump them like im taking out the trash.......