You're a piece of feces...GO!

What would you do on your day as a piece of crap? Literally, a piece of crap. Though, most of you know, poo can't talk and walk, but lets pretend that you can do both of those things as a turd. What would you do?

DISCUSS!

sorry so many amusing mental images are coming to mind right now I cant really type

I'd hide myself in a paper bag and go doorbell ditching-with a lighter.

I would rap
Cause some haters say you can't spell crap without rap
I say I'm taking myself up
I might be crap but I still know wassup
I don't take no crap from another
After all, I'm already crap, so I smother
Another, fiend who just wants to make a flush
Royally, the rush of the water does crush
So as I twirl to the whirl of my death in a pipe
I run, now it's your turn to wipe

Let's give Mr. Hanky some time to rest after Christmas. It's only fair.