I think there are some youtube tutorial vids on how to be good with jets in BF3. I only know the absolute basics, since I don't spend a lot of time with them. You should be able to find an empty server or one with low pop to practice with jets.. and there are some servers specifically set up to help ppl practice with aircraft.
Regarding staying alive, you really need to be aware of where you're going, where the enemy is or might be coming from, and just always stay on the move. Unless you have a really solid position and aren't too concerned about getting flanked, of course. You can do this with a combination of understanding the movement system, learning the basics of the map, seeing what points the enemy is in control of and constantly glancing at your minimap for spotted targets.
I think maneuverability is probably the key in being effective in conquest mode.
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