personally, i have no upper limit on condition that it makes sense within the game environment - a game called schoolyard slaughter where the purpose of the game is to kill as many children as possible as quickly as possible - no way, that's right out... but a game where, as an example, enemy AI is able to take hostages and/or human shields, and children exist in this realistic, real-world envrionment, and ifi'm then placed in a situation where i can get these badguys - at the potential risk of innocent child life, i'd be fine with that
i think nothing is too edgy provided it serves a realistic purpose in a realistic context... i have read that children have been used as soldiers in civil wars in various african countries - farcry 2 could feature children, not where the purpose is killing children for your pleasure (though this is certainly what the media would focus on), but rather to further a story of the horrific things people will do... i'm sure film and television has more than covered it, why not game?
it also helps create a more immersive gaming environment... if i'm playing a game where i can take a shotgun to someone's face, is it then somehow wrong that the head explodes in a mass of blood, bone and brain matter? should a rainbow come out instead? i'd still be blowing someone's head off... people seem to be fine with "childish fantasy violence" (see the opening war sequence of the TMNT movie), but as soon as you throw in blood, limbs - i.e. make it realistic, it becomes frowned upon
so it's really not, how much violence is too much for you, it suddenly becomes, how much reality is too realistic for you?
contextual, realistic, and purposeful - and i see no reason to censor violence in entertainment...of course, i say this as an englishman, and we have slightly stricter (i would say much better) systems for selling violent games to younger people
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