Another Bad Bioshock review 7.5!!!

Now i happen to agree with this score and i own a 360.

"At the end of the day Bioshock is not the definitive sequel to System Shock that we have been waiting for, that is, until the superior PlayStation 3 version hits stores next Spring with new content and features."

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/truth-media-reviews/truthmedia-bioshock-review.php?page=2

Are you sure it's not from something like "Sony protection army?"

I didn't click the link but it sounded like a ps3 fanboy wrote that.

"until the superior PlayStation 3 version hits stores next Spring with new content and features."

Are you kidding me? :lol:

*sigh*

Something Awful is a comedy site. They frequently do reviews whereby they do nothing but complain about AAA games, and write up reviews of bad games as if they're AAA must-haves.

"This game, quite simply, is dark. It makes Doom 3 look like Kameo. Darkness does not automatically give a game creepy atmosphere. It's just a crutch to hide lazy art direction. At least Doom 3 equipped the player with a flashlight. While the initial areas were amazing to look at, I had trouble navigating the dark generic hallways that were so persistent in the later stages. As the story progresses you'll find yourself crawling through pitch black air ducts that you've seen time and time again in better titles."

ouch thats what i gotta say

WTF?

I own a PS3, and that's just hilarious.

Bioshock is an awesome game, doesn't matter on what platform. Play it for 10 minutes... that's all it takes. :D

Now i happen to agree with this score and i own a 360.

"At the end of the day Bioshock is not the definitive sequel to System Shock that we have been waiting for, that is, until the superior PlayStation 3 version hits stores next Spring with new content and features."

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/truth-media-reviews/truthmedia-bioshock-review.php?page=2

ParadiddleFill

Wow! That phrase you quoted reeks of fanboyism. Until the superior PS3 version... WTF? Is there even going to be a PS3 version, will it be better? Weak sauce.

He misspelled "Splicers," "Ayn Rand,"

He says Halo 2's cliffhanger was "satisfying."

He mistakes "EVE" for "ADAM," and doesn't even mention the fact that you could (and probably are supposed to) rescue the Little Sisters.

I suggest not listening to this one.

I didn't click the link but it sounded like a ps3 fanboy wrote that.

Nike_Air

He misspelled "Splicers," "Ayn Rand,"

He says Halo 2's cliffhanger was "satisfying."

He mistakes "EVE" for "ADAM," and doesn't even mention the fact that you could (and probably are supposed to) rescue the Little Sisters.

I suggest not listening to this one.

mjarantilla

Because it's a comedy site.

Do i have to spell it out people?

"Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them." -The site itself, in the "About this column section on the right".

You all fell for it.

"This game, quite simply, is dark. It makes Doom 3 look like Kameo. Darkness does not automatically give a game creepy atmosphere. It's just a crutch to hide lazy art direction. At least Doom 3 equipped the player with a flashlight. While the initial areas were amazing to look at, I had trouble navigating the dark generic hallways that were so persistent in the later stages. As the story progresses you'll find yourself crawling through pitch black air ducts that you've seen time and time again in better titles."

ouch thats what i gotta say

ParadiddleFill

:lol: I didn't read that part. Coming from a fan of all things Doom, BioShock is nowhere near as dark as Doom 3 was.

"This game, quite simply, is dark. It makes Doom 3 look like Kameo. Darkness does not automatically give a game creepy atmosphere. It's just a crutch to hide lazy art direction. At least Doom 3 equipped the player with a flashlight. While the initial areas were amazing to look at, I had trouble navigating the dark generic hallways that were so persistent in the later stages. As the story progresses you'll find yourself crawling through pitch black air ducts that you've seen time and time again in better titles."

ouch thats what i gotta say

ParadiddleFill

the game isnt that dark....when i first played i thought itd be cool to have a flashlight but then i realized you dont need it cuz it isnt even that dark, i never lost my way wtf this guy is just making crap up in every sentence like my above post already debunked him

"This game, quite simply, is dark. It makes Doom 3 look like Kameo. Darkness does not automatically give a game creepy atmosphere. It's just a crutch to hide lazy art direction. At least Doom 3 equipped the player with a flashlight. While the initial areas were amazing to look at, I had trouble navigating the dark generic hallways that were so persistent in the later stages. As the story progresses you'll find yourself crawling through pitch black air ducts that you've seen time and time again in better titles."

ouch thats what i gotta say

ParadiddleFill

Why is this ouch excactly? Becaue one person did not like the game? if you are looking for some ownage on a AAA gamethis thread is not gonna get it done.

For a single player game I was expecting some special features or something after I beat it. But there isn't any, it's basically just a campaign with achievements. I guess all that audio took up the whole disc.

This game needs a special edition though.

"Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them." -The site itself, in the "About this column section on the right".

You all fell for it.

Game_Addict247

I've already told them this. It's a comedy site. They frequently write awful reviews of amazing games to annoy all the fanboys out there who cant see the joke.

Sadly the guys here cant see the joke.

"This game, quite simply, is dark. It makes Doom 3 look like Kameo. Darkness does not automatically give a game creepy atmosphere. It's just a crutch to hide lazy art direction. At least Doom 3 equipped the player with a flashlight. While the initial areas were amazing to look at, I had trouble navigating the dark generic hallways that were so persistent in the later stages. As the story progresses you'll find yourself crawling through pitch black air ducts that you've seen time and time again in better titles."

ouch thats what i gotta say

ParadiddleFill

Idiot is all I got to say. Not to you TC, but to the reviewer. This game may not be your cup of tea, but it is super sweet. The only legit complaint, I can see, is the stuttering that takes place during the game. This really annoys me, other than that, it is great. Better titles? Like what?

It's the Truth Media section in Something Awful. Check out some of their other reviews. These guys like to give popular games and music bad/inaccurate reviews to pi** people off. It usually works, too.

*sigh*

Something Awful is a comedy site. They frequently do reviews whereby they do nothing but complain about AAA games, and write up reviews of bad games as if they're AAA must-haves.

Ninja-Vox

haha never thought I'd see the day when someone would try and use SA for ownage. Good grief. In other SA news Dinosaurs are taking over the world http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/jurassic-park-iv.php

How does the reviewer know about the PS3 version? It's hasn't even been announced. I have to agree about the part of not being as good as system shock 2, but I have only played the demo of bioshock and it was great.

For a single player game I was expecting some special features or something after I beat it. But there isn't any, it's basically just a campaign with achievements. I guess all that audio took up the whole disc.

This game needs a special edition though.

GoldenGlove

[QUOTE="Game_Addict247"]

"Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them." -The site itself, in the "About this column section on the right".

You all fell for it.

Ninja-Vox

I've already told them this. It's a comedy site. They frequently write awful reviews of amazing games to annoy all the fanboys out there who cant see the joke.

Sadly the guys here cant see the joke.

I was duped. :evil: j/k That makes sense though. Thanks. :lol: Now I can laugh.

Good lord; could the TC please edit your post to point out to people that it's a JOKE REVIEW intended to annoy fanboys, like all of their reviews are?

The number of people missing the joke is amazing. I assume because they didn't actually read the review or aren't familiar with SomethingAwful.com

"Unfortunately the AI is an area where 2K Australia overpromised and underdelivered. During the months leading up to release day the developers delivered trailer after trailer showcasing the potential of the AI. One trailer shows the player setting Slicers on fire who then frantically find water to douse themselves in. It's obvious now that these scenes were scripted. Set a Slicer on fire in the game and he'll run into walls, get stuck on geometry, or just stand there staring at a vending machine"

Lmao. Are you kidding me? What kind of messed up version of the game did this guy play?:lol:

I set tons of splicers on fire, they start running for water, and none got stuck in walls so far. Now they didn't always run for water, some were just plain suicidal and came running at me with almost no health left. But I haven't seen them run into walls yet. :|

How does the reviewer know about the PS3 version? It's hasn't even been announced. I have to agree about the part of not being as good as system shock 2, but I have only played the demo of bioshock and it was great.

dream431ca

Um its Something Awful, a funny spoof site, not CNN?

you dont see any other fraction put out reviews like this

what is it with cows..

There's a reason why GameRankings don't consider them a credible source. :lol:123Dan123

Really? Why? Because it's a comedy site?

Did he just say the story is about a man named Andrew Ryan? And that they crash in the Caribbean? He definately hasn't played this game....MADVLAD123

Or for the billionth time - it's a comedy site.

you dont see any other fraction put out reviews like this

what is it with cows..

solidgamer

It's a joke site, they're making fun of people that take these stupid reviews so seriously.

okay guys this was a joke review by something awful to piss fanboys off because you all complained about the 9.0 here at gamespot

oh by the way the real review at SA

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/game-reviews/bioshock-review.php

okay guys this was a joke review by something awful to piss fanboys off because you all complained about the 9.0 here at gamespot

oh by the way the real review at SA

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/game-reviews/bioshock-review.php

ParadiddleFill

That's not the "real" review. That's comedy too. They dont do "real" reviews. All of their reviews are just funny write-ups of games.

I'm amazed so many people took this seriously.

That site is hilarious. Read the fake ads on it.