Why can't we just have feet?

This needs an indepth elaborate System Wars discussion and analysis. And because of my tendency to write really long sh1t I can warn you now that this will be a too long; didn't read. But Champ is a man of the people. Because I am a true entertainment conglomerate. That's right B, a man of the people and an entertainment conglomerate. That's why this is a multilayered thread that is accessible for all ages and posters. Plus I didn't put it at the bottom of the thread.



Too Long; Didn't Read edition. Rated E for everyone.

[spoiler] Corvo in Dishonored has no feet. It's 2012, and we have a first person game with no feet. Can mother f*ckers get some feet please [/spoiler]

The Full experience. Rated E for everyone

[spoiler] So I'm playing Dishonored. Digging all the powers at my disposal getting this empowered feeling that I don't get in most action games, the neat level design that lets me tackle areas in multiple ways, and all in all the celebration that is me slaughtering everything that gets in my way. Was having tons of fun, and then I looked down and *BAM*...no feet. Mother f*cker has no feet. Like...you look down, nope ....no feet to be found. This mother f*cker just walks this earth without the need of feet. He's just running around rooftops making all this noise with no god damn feet. It can't be that I don't see his feet because he's fat. Because

A: then this game would make NO f*cking sense if he was fat and could do half the sh1t he does(fat mother f*ckers can't be silent and sneaky)
B: I don't even see a belly.

What is this the 1990s? First person games, and no feet? The floating camera man in 2012? Absurd.

I mean it's just weird, when you look at its competitors lets just say something like...Halo 4. Sure it's a glorified hallway shooter that guides you from one routine encounter after another, uninspired as a sequel can be, a continuation of a franchise that ran out of gameplay ideas in 2001, and a celebration of all things boring. But you know what, at least you can tell Masterchief is a happy ass mother f*cker.



Why? Because he's like damn, I got some pretty sweet feet. On the flip side look at bum ass Corvo



All unhappy and sh1t. Thinking to himself damn...if only I had feet. And who can blame him? He's a lesser person now for not having feet. [/spoiler]

Don't worry, as an entertainment conglomerate I also know that there will be rebuttals. All of which I am prepared for should you choose to click the next spoiler.

Rebuttals. Rated R for Rebuttals.

[spoiler]

You People: Champ you got a foot fetish?

Me: eww, f*ck no. What a lame ass fetish. What the f*ck are you suppose to do anyway? f*ck a broads feet? That sounds so pointless. At least something like t1tty f*cking has its purpose in life. Foot footish, I'm mad insulted right now.

You People: Champ isn't this a little silly? I mean it's a really pointless conversation given the quality of the game

Me: Um you mother f*ckers b1tch to the highest of heavens, and argue night and day comparing the texture of one games boulder vs the polygon count of another games tree. But I'm the crazy person here for thinking my character, a vessel I use to interact in this first person gaming experience should have feet or its immersion breaking. Yes I'm the crazy person here. Glad to know we all have our priorities straight.

You People: Champ Dishonored had lame ass stealth, and dumb as f*ck guards. That's the real issue here.

Me: NAH B, you gotta go next level. That's right. A complaint within a complaint within a complaint. See you're right the stealth is easy mode, and the guards are dumb. But it's not the game, it's the lack of feet. See the lack of feet make it difficult for guards to take you seriously or see you sometimes. "Hey I can't see his feet? must not be a real person". And because now they are dumb for not noticing you, you just sneak by and choke hold errybody, and move on. That's right deep down you didn't dislike Dishonored for its underwhelming stealth, you disliked it because of a severe lack of feet. True Story. [/spoiler]

But as a man who belives on looking at the brighter side of things. I have a solution.

Solution rated E for Everyone.

[spoiler] Dear makers of first person games of any kind(Action/Puzzle/RPG/Simulators): We need to use next gen super powerful technology to do the right thing. Even if that means ignoring 1080p standard, even if that means consolites have to continue to settle for under 60 frames, not worry so much about tesselation, ignore FXAA, MLA, Bibliogrophies, and all that jazz, even put less effort into making interactive monkey piss. Hell lets even ignore making Time Splitters 4. Instead we need to focus on the important things. Giving first person characters feet. Yep. That's it.

Because who needs actual options and some intelligent gameplay ideas when I can have feet instead.



Can't do that without feet

[/spoiler]

/The End

And for those of you totally bored: I do have one more thing

[spoiler]



[/spoiler]

TL;DR

:lol: Great thread. I'm a little tired of not seeing feet in first person games.

Damn, I was gonna be clever and ask about the foot fetish.
You beat me to it.

Also yes, we need more feet.

EDIT: Oh and Red Ranger is best Ranger

Foot fetish? ewww

I think you almost answered your own question: t!ts>feet, so just give everyone in first-person games massive t!ts that obscure their feet at all times. Like Trespasser.

It's even a convenient place to store HUD elements.

I really hate to brag but I have a foot :o :twisted:

woah woah woah...**** YOU! Tommy was the man

Tommy > Jason any day of the week

oh and I agree....we need more feet, i've always noticed that first person games that show feet immerses me in the game more

The timing of this thread is suspect. Do I detect Jethro inspiration? I don't mind it, but that other thread was...colorful enough! :P

Well, regarding feet and the way Arkane Studios handled that issue. I read that Dishonored 2 will take place in the future, and just for you the protagonist will be sporting these just for you :

'

...Evertime you look down.

I can't wait for that thread. :lol:

Of course, maybe they will shock us with these :

Here's what Tommy Thinks of your Poll!

Red Ranger Ranger gots SWAGGAR like a boss :

i have 2 feet.

i have 2 feet.

sukraj

Congrats. It looks like God granted you an extra one, don't abuse it.

Feet are overrated and generic

I remember the first time I played FEAR, I was able to see the guy's feet. My mind was like...totally blown.

I also remember playing Crysis, maximum speeding while looking down so I could see how fast Gonad's legs moved. His legs didn't move that fast though.

Far Cry 3 disappointed me a little solely because it didn't have feet. khoofia_pika

The guy in your sig stabbing the zombie in the face looks like Ricky Hatton.

You're complaining about having no feet? Really? :roll:

Nobody cares; they wouldn't look down to check if they got feet.

Mirror's Edge perfected the use of feet in first-person games! Bow to the Queen and give her pedicure :cool:!

Wow, now I can say that SW has hit rock bottom.

:lol: Great thread. I'm a little tired of not seeing feet in first person games.

Michael0134567

Tommy > Jason any day of the week

CDUB316

The timing of this thread is suspect. Do I detect Jethro inspiration? I don't mind it, but that other thread was...colorful enough! :P

SolidTy

Forget feet, i get more annoyed when my player character doesnt cast a shadow.

Billy ftw

Also I agree FPS need more feet, at least in FC3 you can see them when you slide/jump over stuff.

It's just a weird lil idiosyncrasy. You do notice it, but, eh. Pretty sure it's either a necessity for having level design and movement like the game does, technical hurdle, or they prioritized more important things when assigning resources. Or some such.

I really hate to brag but I have a foot :o :twisted:

SecretPolice

Otherwise you should probably look into your having just one foot.
(or someone should call the police)

Billy ftw

Also I agree FPS need more feet, at least in FC3 you can see them when you slide/jump over stuff.

Ballroompirate

[QUOTE="Ballroompirate"]

Billy ftw

Also I agree FPS need more feet, at least in FC3 you can see them when you slide/jump over stuff.

McStrongfast

[QUOTE="CDUB316"]

Tommy > Jason any day of the week

jg4xchamp

The timing of this thread is suspect. Do I detect Jethro inspiration? I don't mind it, but that other thread was...colorful enough! :P

SolidTy

^Looks like the shadow of like a little toy robot dinosaur. Like a mechagodzilla.

Edit: Jethros thread

Reads like a Jethro thread, Champ. :P

But the lack of feet in FPS games bothers me, too. To the point that I am actually overjoyed when a charactrer has feet. I look down at this sh!t all the time.

Reads like a Jethro thread, Champ. :P

But the lack of feet in FPS games bothers me, too. To the point that I am actually overjoyed when a charactrer has feet. I look down at this sh!t all the time.

DarkLink77

^Looks like the shadow of like a little toy robot dinosaur. Like a mechagodzilla.

Edit: Jethros thread

jg4xchamp

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"]

Reads like a Jethro thread, Champ. :P

But the lack of feet in FPS games bothers me, too. To the point that I am actually overjoyed when a charactrer has feet. I look down at this sh!t all the time.

jg4xchamp

Yo I just sat there, bewildered by what I had just read. I was like DAMN. I need to try the drugs he gets just in case the world is actually about to end, because them sh1ts is crazy. jg4xchamp

My only regret is not adding audio links to it. Especially at the parts where I say B. But it was like mad early in the morning, and Liz was knocked the f*ck out. The hell I would have suffered for SW entertainment was not worth it. jg4xchamp

I am pretty sure you can see Faith's feet from Mirrors Edge. :P

I went on Reddit one day and they were obsessed over games that didn't have reflecting Mirrors.

You're right.

Feet should be included as a feature, it's just one small feat.

[QUOTE="GamerwillzPS"]

You're complaining about having no feet? Really? :roll:

Nobody cares; they wouldn't look down to check if they got feet.

Stringerboy

It adds to the immersion.

:lol:

Really?

[QUOTE="McStrongfast"]

[QUOTE="Ballroompirate"]

Billy ftw

Also I agree FPS need more feet, at least in FC3 you can see them when you slide/jump over stuff.

DarkLink77