Every time I see PS Allstars my body turns into Jelly.
I actually had a stroke the first time I saw it. Really embarrassing story I tell ya. I was at Walmart when it happened. Just looking at games, worshiping the Nintendo section... a typical Friday night thing, ya know? Then when I went to cast imaginary stones at the Playstation kiosk I saw it! My whole life flashed before my very eyes... PLAYSTATION MOTHA FVCKIN ALLSTARZ!!!... and I pissed and shat all over myself... in a white T and some white basketball shorts:?... and wouldn't you know. A girl I had a crush on since high school just happened to be there to see it all. There I am on the cold dirty tiles of the lower middle class under world convulsing, yelling obscenities and rolling around in a pile of liquid Taco Bell + Mt.Dew while staring into her soulful, beautiful brown eyes. Well if you could call it staring... My eyelids were twitching at a million miles per hour. Even when I did settle down a bit I still couldn't stop the awkward facial expressions. I must have looked like Piston Honda...
The lovely angel of a woman tried helping me to my feet, but in turn slipped into the pile of waste with me. She instantly projectile vomited all over my face, and well, I involuntarily returned the favor. Unfortunately the pressure of vomiting forced out some unwanted baggage on the other end as well. Imagine dropping an 18 wheeler off of a sky scraper onto a giant steel reinforced mesh water balloon full of chocolate milk and corn with one small opening... yeah.
Well the story goes on, but needless to say I caught charges for assult, indecent exposure, public urination, public defacation and manslaughter..... And misdemeanor posession, but I have no idea how it got in there I swear!
That! My friends, That! is why I fear PS Allstars.
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