Raising children as atheists/theists

Would you consider it wrong to impose on children a particular set of beliefs? If so how would one go about remaining neutral on the subject?

For instance most religious people come from religious families and I'd imagine it is the same for atheists. Now I think if I were to ever have children (which I'm not to keen on :P ) I would not want to overly impose my beliefs on them, I would want them to come to their own decision without my influence but this would seem a little hard to do as children are easily influenced (and me being an atheist would be no doubt be indirect influence in itself) and I doubt they would be able to think logically enough about the subject to come to a conclusion on their own.

Or am I just thinking bout this too much because kids probably disregard everything their parents say anyway? :P

To be honest, I imagine I'd avoid the topic of religion and God altogether unless my kid breached the topic first, and then I'd do my best to stress the fact that I don't have all the answers. I definitely consider it extremely wrong to indoctrinate your kids to think the way you do before they're able to really think logically about things themselves.

To be honest, I imagine I'd avoid the topic of religion and God altogether unless my kid breached the topic first, and then I'd do my best to stress the fact that I don't have all the answers. I definitely consider it extremely wrong to indoctrinate your kids to think the way you do before they're able to really think logically about things themselves.

GabuEx

Yeah I understand the reasoning there but there is always the outside influences (like school, friends etc) that would no doubt present religion as fact without considering other beliefs and depending on how extreme those influences are there could be a lot of hellfire, eternal damnation, sinning parents etc that could easily persuade the child to their way of thinking. If then they were to  then come to their parents asking if they're going to hell or whatever I'd imagine they'd take better safe then sorry route and start believing in god however much a child can regardless of how I present the other side. Of course is my saying that as a bad thing a representation of my own bias against religion? Argh, kids suck! :x

Yeah I understand the reasoning there but there is always the outside influences (like school, friends etc) that would no doubt present religion as fact without considering other beliefs and depending on how extreme those influences are there could be a lot of hellfire, eternal damnation, sinning parents etc that could easily persuade the child to their way of thinking. If then they were to then come to their parents asking if they're going to hell or whatever I'd imagine they'd take better safe then sorry route and start believing in god however much a child can regardless of how I present the other side. Of course is my saying that as a bad thing a representation of my own bias against religion? Argh, kids suck! :x

bean-with-bacon

If I had kids, quite frankly I imagine I would never, ever raise them in a location where they would hear about hellfire and eternal damnation in their daily life. :P

Well....if you consider something to be Truth. I don't see how you cannot tell your children about it. Whether it really is the Truth or not is another matter.Lansdowne5

I understand.  I realize religion is important to a large portion of the world.  Just because I don't believe in it doesn't mean they shouldn't be exposed to it.  That feeling wouldn't change, regardless of my wife's religion.  Hope that made sense, glad to see and talk with you again Lans.

If I have kids (never), I wouldnt start a discussion on my own in order to convince them about something. Of course I'd have to think of their age and estimate what kind of information they can "absorb". So I would prefer if I talked to them about such things when they are older than 13-14. Or perhaps at that age.

First of all, I wouldnt tell them this is the right way or the other way. I will explain to them how I see religion, and always emphasize that the most important thing is that we should be good people regardless of our religious status. If (in the unlikely scenario of me having kids) I manage to make them grow up into very "nice personalities", and educated individuals with virtues then I dont care what religious direction they will choose.

Because deeds are deffinately not "trash" for our fellow humans. ;)

There is no such thing as raising kids without any influence from atheism and theism. Once they start to ask questions there will be no turning back. They will start to develop their own point to view on the matter. At that point I wouldn't try to bring them into atheism but I will explain to them my own point of view and also encourage them to learn about religions as well. What I'm saying is I will introduce them to both the sides of the line because if they want to decide between the two, I think it is imperative they know all the alternatives intimately.

But the most important thing I will teach them is to be friendly to all and not form an opinion about anyone based only their beliefs...

I'll probably take the "this is what some people believe, and ultimately, we can't know who's right," route, but that's hard to really say then when it is indeed possible to look at some beliefs and say that they ARE wrong.

The most important things to me are honest, critical examination of facts and evidence and arrival at a decision based on free thought. If that's truly what happened, I won't care about what my child believes (for the most part).

I'd like to say more regarding certain belief systems (no religion in particular), but I'll leave it at that given the stories I've heard of GameSpot's modding policies.

I'll probably take the "this is what some people believe, and ultimately, we can't know who's right," route, but that's hard to really say then when it is indeed possible to look at some beliefs and say that they ARE wrong.

AlternatingCaps

I despise that route, mainly due to how we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy. No one can respectfully say "we don't really know" and let the children believe either way. A more logical approach is to tell them the truth, and if they don't accept it, that's their problem. 

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Genetic_Code

Speaking of things I don't understand... :P

No one can respectfully say "we don't really know" and let the children believe either way. A more logical approach is to tell them the truth, and if they don't accept it, that's their problem. 

Genetic_Code

Which is fine in the scenarios when we actually can reasonably feel we know the truth.  It is rather important to determine which scenarios those are, however.  A fundamentalist Christian could easily say, "well, the fact that you will burn for all eternity if you don't accept Jesus is just the truth, and if my kids don't accept that, that's their problem".

Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Genetic_Code

I certainly won't lie to my child in such a way. I'll probably just explain that those characters are associated with their respective events in myths and such. However, a problem would arise when my child starts going to school and telling other kids that it's really daddy putting gifts under the tree and hiding eggs in the backyard,

No one can respectfully say "we don't really know" and let the children believe either way. A more logical approach is to tell them the truth, and if they don't accept it, that's their problem. 

Genetic_Code

Guess I didn't explain what I meant well. I'll certainly tell my child about evolution and the big bang and how abiogenesis is the most likely scientific explanation gives us and such, but I won't flat-out say "there is no god," especially since that doesn't completely reflect my view.

Again, the most important thing to me is that my child (or anyone for that matter) looks at the evidence with an open mind and comes to his own decision. Of course, if one looks at the evidence with a willingness to understand correctly, the conclusion SHOULD be evolution. If that conclusion leads to some sort of theism, then I'll have no problem. If the conclusion is a young Earth, then I'll probably do what I can to correct him.

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Genetic_Code

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

[QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Lansdowne5

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

A more logical approach is to tell them the truth, and if they don't accept it, that's their problem. 

Genetic_Code

[QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Lansdowne5

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

[QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Teenaged

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

You're going to read The Origin of Species to your children? :o

[QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

THUMPTABLE

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

I consider Christianity to be the Truth......so I don't think it would be right to not tell them about it. 

[QUOTE="Teenaged"][QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Lansdowne5

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

You're going to read The Origin of Species to your children? :o

:o A joke? :o Oh riiiiiiiiiiiight........... :|

Ah and despite what I said I probably wont include the Bible in those fantasy dosages...

You're going to read The Origin of Species to your children? :o

Lansdowne5

[QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

A more logical approach is to tell them the truth, and if they don't accept it, that's their problem. 

ChiliDragon

Well, some maintain that truth is limited to perception, but I disagree. Truth is irrelevant to perception. I'll teach them what I best know is the truth, and if I'm wrong, at least I'll try leading them to what actually is the truth by making them think critically. But I mean, I really hope at the very least we don't have to debate the non-existence of Santa Clause and the like. :P

[QUOTE="Teenaged"][QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Lansdowne5

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

You're going to read The Origin of Species to your children? :o

[spoiler] Oh yeah, I went there >_> [/spoiler]

[QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Teenaged"][QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Funky_Llama

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

You're going to read The Origin of Species to your children? :o

 Oh yeah, I went there >_>

I guess thats what Lans understood and responded the way he did.

But on that note I wouldnt let my children read it without some disclaimers being made before, for them to know what they are reading.

[QUOTE="Funky_Llama"][QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Teenaged"][QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Teenaged

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

You're going to read The Origin of Species to your children? :o

 Oh yeah, I went there >_>

I guess thats what Lans understood and responded the way he did.

But on that note I wouldnt let my children read it without some disclaimers being made before, for them to know what they are reading.

[QUOTE="Teenaged"]

Well actually my first post was not referring to the Bible at all. I didnt have that in mind. It wasnt meant to mean that I will let my kids read the Bible including it in fantasy novels.

I guess thats what Lans understood and responded the way he did.

But on that note I wouldnt let my children read it without some disclaimers being made before, for them to know what they are reading.

Funky_Llama

:P

If I ever have children they can work these issues out for themselves. If they ask me questions then I'll answer but not without playing some devils advocate and arguing for the opposing side.

I'm teaching my children what I believe to be true, but they will have to make their own decisions regarding whether or not they think it to be true.  Questions will not only be welcomed regarding faith but encouraged.

[QUOTE="THUMPTABLE"][QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Lansdowne5

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

I consider Christianity to be the Truth......so I don't think it would be right to not tell them about it.

[QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="THUMPTABLE"][QUOTE="Lansdowne5"][QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

THUMPTABLE

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

I consider Christianity to be the Truth......so I don't think it would be right to not tell them about it.

Yes, I will tie them to a chair until they agree to follow my religion......

[spoiler] No, of course not. :P They are free to believe what they wish. [/spoiler]

[QUOTE="Genetic_Code"]

we raise children to believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, or the tooth fairy

Lansdowne5

My children will be made aware that those characters do not exist. They are a cause of much coveting -- something I will be sure not to instigate.

Not just directed at just you Lans, but this is easier said than done.  Not too much in the world is as incredible as taking a 5 year old to Disney World, or the thrill they get from Santa.  Yes there comes a time that you let them know those things arent real, but kids should, IMO, enjoy some "magical" things.

I wouldn't talk about it and I'm not goin' to influence them.. They should have their own decision :lol:BladeDynasty777

But should you not express your views and possibly other views in a manner to help direct them?  Also, if you know the truth then shouldn't you teach it to your children?

I would educate my child on the importance of being educated in all things relevant to her/him.

That´s pretty much it.

Another question in kind of the same vein, would you equate raising children in a particular religion, given that children cannot really make a proper decision on their beliefs, or lack thereof, as child abuse as Richard Dawkins  and others do? Personally I would say calling it child abuse is a little extreme however actively inhibiting a child's education and teaching them all the moral values that are promoted in the bible (the ones like slavery, religious superiority, stoning, murdering of homosexuals, animal sacrifices (unless they're going to eat it afterward :P ) subjugation of women and male superiority etc, as would no doubt happen in a fundamentalist household, however I don't think is unfair to call child abuse.

Another question in kind of the same vein, would you equate raising children in a particular religion, given that children cannot really make a proper decision on their beliefs, or lack thereof, as child abuse as Richard Dawkins  and others do? Personally I would say calling it child abuse is a little extreme however actively inhibiting a child's education and teaching them all the moral values that are promoted in the bible (the ones like slavery, religious superiority, stoning, murdering of homosexuals, animal sacrifices (unless they're going to eat it afterward :P ) subjugation of women and male superiority etc, as would no doubt happen in a fundamentalist household, however I don't think is unfair to call child abuse.

bean-with-bacon

I would consider raising children like this to be clear-cut child abuse, no question about it.  In my mind, anything is child abuse that would warp a child's mind such that they would enter into life with a clear handicap in his or her ability to have a clear mind and to be capable of critically examining the world and coming to their own decisions.  Even if someone strongly believes that anyone unsaved will go to an eternity in hell and wants very much for their child to be saved, I strongly believe that God would be able to tell whether or not that child actually believes what he says or whether he or she has simply never even been able to consider the alternatives, the latter of which I cannot imagine being something looked upon favorably.

That said, however, I certainly don't think it would be child abuse just to expose a child to one's faith if one does not attempt to ensure that that child absolutely cannot and will not fail to accept it as the ultimate truth in life.  As has been seen many times, children are very capable of rejecting their parents' faith if they grow older and feel that it's nonsense. :P

I probably wouldn't talk about it unless my child comes to me  with that subject and ask me why we don't go to church. Then I'd probably have that discussion with them....

GAH I HATE GLITCHSPOTS GLITCHES! MY HTML IS FORMED SO STOP BEING STUBBORN!!!:x:x:x

[QUOTE="bean-with-bacon"]

Another question in kind of the same vein, would you equate raising children in a particular religion, given that children cannot really make a proper decision on their beliefs, or lack thereof, as child abuse as Richard Dawkins and others do? Personally I would say calling it child abuse is a little extreme however actively inhibiting a child's education and teaching them all the moral values that are promoted in the bible (the ones like slavery, religious superiority, stoning, murdering of homosexuals, animal sacrifices (unless they're going to eat it afterward :P ) subjugation of women and male superiority etc, as would no doubt happen in a fundamentalist household, however I don't think is unfair to call child abuse.

GabuEx

I would consider raising children like thisto be clear-cut child abuse, no question about it. In my mind, anything is child abuse that would warp a child's mind such that they would enter into life with a clear handicap in his or her ability to have a clear mind and to be capable of critically examining the world and coming to their own decisions. Even if someone strongly believes that anyone unsaved will go to an eternity in hell and wants very much for their child to be saved, I strongly believe that God would be able to tell whether or not that child actually believes what he says or whether he or she has simply never even been able to consider the alternatives, the latter of which I cannot imagine being something looked upon favorably.

That said, however, I certainly don't think it would be child abuse just to expose a child to one's faith if one does not attempt to ensure that that child absolutely cannot and will not fail to accept it as the ultimate truth in life. As has been seen many times, children are very capable of rejecting their parents' faith if they grow older and feel that it's nonsense. :P

As has been seen many times, children are very capable of rejecting their parents' faith if they grow older and feel that it's nonsense. :P GabuEx

I was going to convert to Buddhism. I'll spare you the details. :)ChiliDragon

Oh, come on, you can't say something like that and then expect me not to enquire as to the details. :P

[QUOTE="ChiliDragon"]I was going to convert to Buddhism. I'll spare you the details. :)GabuEx

Oh, come on, you can't say something like that and then expect me not to enquire as to the details. :P