This is Max typing now! I have taken over Red's account!The AMFC Files is the name I just made up for my series. That is, if I decide to write any more. :PThe AMFC Files episode 1 - 'Smooth Criminals' - Written and Directed by AlmightyMaxTable of Contents (use ctrl+F to jump to a specific chapter): Chapter 1: Exposition blahdey blahChapter 2: RaconteuringChapter 3: East Van PrideChapter 4: Boss Encounter Chapter 5: Highway to Hell Chapter 1 - Exposition blahdey blah [Daytime. Aidan is on his computer, drinking an ICP and catching up with the latest goings-on in the AMFC] Aidan: What?! Not a gangsta? Grr... I'll show them. I'll show them all! [sips Pepsi] Aw damn, I'm done this one. MOM! Get me another Pepsi! Aidan's Mom: ... Aidan: Mom! I am NOT feeling refreshed here! [Aidan's Mom still refuses to come onstage. Lexie enters] Lexie: Father, are you perhaps so daft you cannot tell your mother is rather vexed with you? Aidan: LEXIE!!! Your first words! Lexie: Verily, Father, these are merely the first words I have allowed you to hear. Aidan: I'll try and figure out how and why your vocabulary is already better than mine later. Why's Mom mad at me? Lexie: Is it not obvious? Your mother heard the Tales of Symphonia skit. She believes you to be infatuated with her breasts. Aidan: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Uh, so will you bring me my Pepsi? Lexie: That was the last one, Father. This house is now entirely out of Pepsi. Aidan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Lexie: Perhaps this really a blessing in disguise. You want Pepsi. You need to prove yourself gangsta enough for your friends... Aidan: So are you suggesting... wait, what are you suggesting again? Lexie: Robbery. Steal yourself the Pepsi, Father. Aidan: Oh, Lexie, I have raised you well. To the Aidanmobile! [Aidan grabs Lexie's car seat and rushes out to the car] Aidan: Now to put you in the back seat. I may be taking you along on a robbery, but I'm still concerned about your safety -- WAAAAUGH! Red: Hi Aidan. Aidan: Red? What are you doing in the back seat of my car? Red: I dunno. I woke up here. Aidan: Oh, no. Red, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Red: Is this another of those stupid AMFC stories? Aidan: When they try to fit everyone in the union in so they won't make them feel bad? Red: With all the nonsensical plot twists building up to an even less sensical climax? Lexie: Red, sensical is not a word, in this language or any other. Red: LEXIE!!! Your first words! [Exciting stuff! But let's introduce the villains, so this chapter actually kind of has a point!] ???: Boss. We have a location on Red. Boss: Excellent. Where is he? ???: Currently in the car of one Aidan McKenzie, heading southbound. The only other passenger is Aidan's daughter Lexie. Boss: The plan is working perfectly, then. This time, we have left no room for error. END CHAPTER ONE Chapter 2 - Raconteuring Red: Can I ride in the front, Aidan? Aidan: No way. Lookie here, it says you have to be fifteen to be airbag safe. You aren't even _ _ yet. Red: Hey, it's a hitchhiker. Should we pick him up? Aidan: Is he one of the AMFCers? Red: No. I don't think I've ever seen him before. Could he be an original character? Lexie: Oh, please. Aidan: Whatever. I'm going to stop for him! Where are you headed, man? Raconteur: I'm goin' wherever you go, brah. Aidan: What? Raconteur: It's my job, ya dig? I'm your raconteur. Aidan: What? Lexie: A storyteller, Father. I believe he's here to narrate this story. Raconteur: Nah, don't say a narrator. Makes me think of some old dude. Aidan: Fine, you can come with us. Just stay out of my way. Also, I get all the women we meet who are at least a 6/10. Red gets anyone from 4-6. Red: Sweet! Aidan: And if we run into twilight and pspitus, we have to try and help them get together. Lexie: Father. Which store were we going to rob, exactly? Aidan: This one right here. [They park in front of a Safeway.] Raconteur: Yo, our heroes are holdin' up a Safeway. But this ain't just any ol' Safeway; it's the one where Aidan works. Aidan: So this is what you do! I like it! Red: Really, Aidan? Why would you rob the place you work? Aidan: They'd never suspect me, would they? [pulls out phone and dials] Hey honey. I'm about to rob Safeway. Is there anything you need me to get you? Raconteur: Aww, ain't that the sweet man all you ladies wanna meet? But little do our heroes know Little Miss Courtney may be closer than they expect. Red: Well, now we do know that! You've kind of killed any potential for dramatic irony. [The four enter Safeway] Safeway Guy: Aidan! You're late for your shift. Aidan: Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just about to GET ON THE GROUND AND GIVE ME ALL YOUR PEPSI OLD MAN Safeway Guy: How do I get it if I'm on the ground? Red: Don't talk back to him, ya hear? He's crazy. He'll bust a cap in yo ass if you don't do what he says. Lexie: Father, you remembered to bring a weapon, right? Aidan: Uh. Red: Quiet. As long as he thinks you're armed we're good. ???: Aidan! What are you doing? [Courtney enters dragging Twilight behind her] Aidan: I needed Pepsi. Do you have a better idea of how I could get it? Twilight: Oh god, another AMFC story. Don't hook me up with psp again, got it? Courtney: That's not the issue here. You're going to rob Safeway? What kind of example is that to set for Lexie? Aidan: It's your fault! I just wanted to prove I was gangsta! Raconteur: But the most exciting part was yet to come! Safeway ...
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