Chuck Norris...

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InTeGrA21

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#51 InTeGrA21
Member since 2003 • 1069 Posts

Chuck Norris has the best poker face... his fist!Marksman2200

Funny as hell!

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Marksman2200

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#52 Marksman2200
Member since 2007 • 23037 Posts
I made that one up myself:P
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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#53 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts
Chuck Noris doesn't need to work out at the Gym. The Gym works out for Chuck.
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_Horde

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#54 _Horde
Member since 2007 • 10463 Posts
There's only one man who has fought Chuck Norris and managed to get away alive. That man is Marksman2200.
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greenpyro33

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#55 greenpyro33
Member since 2007 • 3872 Posts

There's only one man who has fought Chuck Norris and managed to get away alive. That man is Marksman2200._Horde

boo. thats a lie.

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greenpyro33

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#56 greenpyro33
Member since 2007 • 3872 Posts

There's only one man who has fought Chuck Norris and managed to get away alive. That man is Marksman2200._Horde

boo. thats a lie.

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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#57 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts

[QUOTE="_Horde"]There's only one man who has fought Chuck Norris and managed to get away alive. That man is Marksman2200.greenpyro33

boo. thats a lie.

wtf - that didnt even make me chuckle. Must be a lie.
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maravich12

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#58 maravich12
Member since 2007 • 3359 Posts

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.

Chuck norris went to the Virgin Islands,now they're just called the Islands.

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greenpyro33

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#59 greenpyro33
Member since 2007 • 3872 Posts
chuck norris invented the caesarian section when he roundhouse kicked his way out of his mothers womb
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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#60 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.

Chuck norris went to the Virgin Islands,now they're just called the Islands.

maravich12
XD the first one I saw last night and was rolling on the floor
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Marksman2200

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#61 Marksman2200
Member since 2007 • 23037 Posts

Superman is: Faster than speeding bullet, more stronger than the strongest locamotive, and can leap over very tall builings. Chcuk Norris doesn't really care, his roundhouse kick can stop a speeding bullet, can derail a locamotive, and even destroy tall buildings. So, Chuck Norris is greater.

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Mad_Game_hi5

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#62 Mad_Game_hi5
Member since 2006 • 3103 Posts
Anakin Skywalker is no longer born from the Force....Chuck Norris is !
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maravich12

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#63 maravich12
Member since 2007 • 3359 Posts
If at first you don't succeed,you're not chuck Norris.
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InTeGrA21

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#64 InTeGrA21
Member since 2003 • 1069 Posts
For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
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Shadow-Elite

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#65 Shadow-Elite
Member since 2007 • 18289 Posts
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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InTeGrA21

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#66 InTeGrA21
Member since 2003 • 1069 Posts
How old is Chuck Norris now?
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Shadow-Elite

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#67 Shadow-Elite
Member since 2007 • 18289 Posts

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego

How old is Chuck Norris now?InTeGrA21

He's 67

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InTeGrA21

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#68 InTeGrA21
Member since 2003 • 1069 Posts
lol..damn he old.
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_Horde

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#69 _Horde
Member since 2007 • 10463 Posts
If sometime, due to some weird time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever face himself, he'd win.
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InTeGrA21

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#70 InTeGrA21
Member since 2003 • 1069 Posts

If sometime, due to some weird time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever face himself, he'd win._Horde

Which one?

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_Horde

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#71 _Horde
Member since 2007 • 10463 Posts
Chuck Norris, of course. :P
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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#72 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts

[QUOTE="_Horde"]If sometime, due to some weird time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever face himself, he'd win.InTeGrA21

Which one?

the one having the weird paradox DUH
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Shadow-Elite

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#73 Shadow-Elite
Member since 2007 • 18289 Posts
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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Mad_Game_hi5

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#74 Mad_Game_hi5
Member since 2006 • 3103 Posts
Chuck Norris isn't human...He is pain and death brought to life....
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alextomaz

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#75 alextomaz
Member since 2007 • 219 Posts
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push up, he pushes the earth down....
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Sharvie

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#76 Sharvie
Member since 2006 • 8895 Posts
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried before.
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Shadow-Elite

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#77 Shadow-Elite
Member since 2007 • 18289 Posts
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#78 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.Shadow-Elite
XD I've never heard of that one before for some reason.
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Mad_Game_hi5

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#79 Mad_Game_hi5
Member since 2006 • 3103 Posts
Chuck Norris is greater than himself !
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sweet_tear

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#80 sweet_tear
Member since 2007 • 3093 Posts
When Chuck Norris jumped over the cliff.... there was no cliff!
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sweet_tear

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#81 sweet_tear
Member since 2007 • 3093 Posts
when Chuck Norris gets mad, someone dies...
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Shadow-Elite

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#82 Shadow-Elite
Member since 2007 • 18289 Posts
Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back
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greenpyro33

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#83 greenpyro33
Member since 2007 • 3872 Posts
Chcuk Norris has a sense that tells him if you say you have an amazing roundhouse kick. He will then find you in 10 seconds and roundhouse kick you into orbit
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Mad_Game_hi5

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#84 Mad_Game_hi5
Member since 2006 • 3103 Posts

Chuck Norris can Kill anything...I heard that one time he killed a rock :|

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InTeGrA21

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#85 InTeGrA21
Member since 2003 • 1069 Posts

Chuck Norris can Kill anything...I heard that one time he killed a rock :|

Mad_Game_hi5

How did he kill it?

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Mad_Game_hi5

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#86 Mad_Game_hi5
Member since 2006 • 3103 Posts
[QUOTE="Mad_Game_hi5"]

Chuck Norris can Kill anything...I heard that one time he killed a rock :|

InTeGrA21

How did he kill it?

roundhouse kick ofcourse

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InTeGrA21

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#87 InTeGrA21
Member since 2003 • 1069 Posts
[QUOTE="InTeGrA21"][QUOTE="Mad_Game_hi5"]

Chuck Norris can Kill anything...I heard that one time he killed a rock :|

Mad_Game_hi5

How did he kill it?

roundhouse kick ofcourse

Ahh, of course.

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

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deactivated-5ebde040861c5

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#88 deactivated-5ebde040861c5
Member since 2006 • 2004 Posts
Chuck Noris has counted till infinite twice
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sweet_tear

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#89 sweet_tear
Member since 2007 • 3093 Posts
if chuck Norris can't find the remote, he roundhouse kicks the tv to change the Chanel
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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#90 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts
^ that was kind of lame I would post one but I think all were posted already by Marksman up there.
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sweet_tear

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#91 sweet_tear
Member since 2007 • 3093 Posts
^ that was kind of lame I would post one but I think all were posted already by Marksman up there.OmegaNemesis28
nooo... that was the lamest, dude....
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Aumala

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#92 Aumala
Member since 2005 • 6678 Posts
Somebody that has the power of an officer delete that post!!
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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#93 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts
This describes it all
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gamah_killah

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#94 gamah_killah
Member since 2006 • 13020 Posts
Chuck Norris hates people who finds and steal Chuck Norris jokes off the internet, that's why no one here is funny :|
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deactivated-62d5c59659078

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#95 deactivated-62d5c59659078
Member since 2007 • 2104 Posts
Chuck Norris hates people who finds and steal Chuck Norris jokes off the internet, that's why no one here is funny :|gamah_killah
thats a false comment as it really has been funny - that was pointless. XD
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Aumala

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#96 Aumala
Member since 2005 • 6678 Posts
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can Walk on Jesus
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alextomaz

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#97 alextomaz
Member since 2007 • 219 Posts

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can Walk on JesusAumala

ha ha ha ha

that is one of the best i have heard

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jeyviolin

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#98 jeyviolin
Member since 2005 • 28510 Posts
But isn't Chuck Norris a christian. That is really not a good one at all.
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Aumala

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#99 Aumala
Member since 2005 • 6678 Posts

But isn't Chuck Norris a christian. That is really not a good one at all.jeyviolin

so what? most facts don't make any sense with his real life

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Aumala

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#100 Aumala
Member since 2005 • 6678 Posts

A few more facts:

When Chuck Norris Spits seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives

Once, they tried to make a Clue Version of Chuck Norris but the problem was that it was always Chuck Norris, in the Library with a Roundhouse Kick

They also tried to make Chuck Norris Toilet paper, but ther was a problem, it won't take s*** from anybody

:lol: