Tales from The Throneroom

"I would hire him. Every time he would give me an attitude, I could rip out his liver and then let it grow back," Feyera said and smiled. "But I was under the impression that we are here to coronate the boy, not to have petty fights because a moody show-off wants to take on the position that no one else wants, and because the pompous advisor can't handle the fact that the want-to-be assassin is not in his control."

Feyera walked over to Jones. "Now why would an advisor need to have control over the royal assassin, a man who can disappear and who would be capable of getting close to the king with no one noticing? I wonder why indeed," she said and was once again unable to hold back a smile.

She then turned to the prince. "Should you ask my opinion, My Lord -hire him. If he is untrustworthy there's obviously something else behind it, otherwise you would be dead already. And if he really is to be trusted, well, he's not half bad. But of course, the wish of the lord is the command, and all will follow it," she said and gave everyone a small look.

"....I'm not sure which is more sad: He wanting popcorn, or me actually believing for a second that he would listen....." Feyera mumbled as she waved her hand a bit. With a loud POP a big bucket of popcorn appeared on the prince's lap.

in the words of jeff...

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"Shoot dudes in the face."

"I believe that description may be too simplistic. An assassin's job is to approach a target (designated ahead of time by a client), undetected, and then to slay said target. The operant word here is undetected, this guy sticks out like a sore thumb. If we hire this stranger as an assassin the best strategy we can hope for, that involves him anyway, would be reverse psychology; in that because he looks so suspicious he must therefore not be as suspicious as he appears to be and that, milord, is just.... well.... silly. Even more, he shows no regard for authority, he dares to approach the prince, with no introduction, and demands a high level position, given only to the most trusted and experienced warriors (with reason), almost as if WE owe it to him. He simply has not earned the right, milord," said Jones candidly.

Jones continues, "My opinion is that if you absolutely have to give him a job, start him off as Royal Decoy; it's an entry level position with loads of advancement opportunity. Under the tutelage of experienced warriors and with their recommendation, of course, he may someday earn the position he desires."

***Like hell he will, thought Jones, everyone knows that Royal Decoy is a glorified death sentence. And even if (BIG DAMN IF), by some miracle, he survives, I will never allow that man to be an assassin.***

The witch cackles, revelling in the Advisor's notable verbosity.

"Well? what do you think?" she asks the aspiring assasin, suppressing her hideously girly giggle.

"My God, he's perfect... Royal Decoy material all the way!!! I won't tolerate delay, this man... he shows signs of being the greatest decoy in several generations. We must get him out to the battle grounds IMMEDIATELY. Stitch the Royal Decoy insignia onto all his clothing, take away his filthy weapons, he shan't be needing them... give him weapons more suited of a Royal Decoy. This man... he will be the shield of the people." said a teary-eyed Jones.

Royal Decoy Insignia

Royal Decoy armaments

The strange man holds his knife threateningly in case someone tries to take it and/or stich something onto his clothes.

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for some reason, i cant see those. try uploading them here on gamespot, that might work.

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Weird....okay

try these links

Royal Decoy Insignia

Decoy armaments

Hope you like them, I spent a whole minute and a half on Google images to find them. That and I slightly modified the bullseye.

i cant see those. try uploading them here on gamespot, that might work.dgwutka

"Its another term for a royal assassin.If you hire me, you won't be dissapointed. I might even tell you my name."

"Bah, why should we want to learn your name? Know your place peon." said Jones tersely, and without missing a beat changed his tone and addressed the Prince.

"Milord, he may not look like you now. But with modern "medical science" as it is there are so many options at our disposal that it is not a question of how to make someone look like someone else as it is a question of why not? We just have to be creative.

Take height for example, if he's too short, we'll stretch him out on the wheel. Who wouldn't like to be a few inches taller? And if he's too tall, we'll just take out a few vertebrae. I know, it SOUNDS harsh, but really, it's not so bad. I mean we're only talking a couple out of several, they won't even be missed.

Hair? I present to you a wig and a choice of hot glue or staples.

Skin tone? The Royal Tattooist would be more than happy to have a crack at it.

All this and more is possible. Trust me milord, it's a non-issue. And all on the cheap too!!! It'll be fun, we'll make a day of it."

The prince looks around at the empty hall, "Sure, sure. When the coronation happens."

No need to say sorry, you do what you need to take care of in your life, THEN come here.

Let's try not to go too far off-topic here.

"Good. I have business to attend to, so I'll be back for the coronation." The strange man turns and strides out of the throneroom.

"Oh. If you need him killed, just let me know." The strange man walks into a dark corner and sits down.

"A dazed puppet to your advisor, hmm, never heard that before," mutters the witch. "I can't respect a king like that. I can't even say 'milord' what with my sense of being egalitarian. That advisor, i don't trust him, let alone like him. To hell with monarchy, really, incestuous fools!"

Her voice echoed embarassingly about the throneroon.

"Er, nevertheless, boredom's worse. How about we forge a grossly inadequate crown from all that gold liquid from my eyeballs? Oh come now, t'would be fun."