Hurt/Heal Returns!

Rules: You can only post 2 actions per day! You can only hurt/kill twise in one day. This is the hard part cuz we live all over the world, but i will judge as farely as possible. Just be honest and post no more than twise in one day (actions) (regular posts dont count against you)."

So, here's the list :

WEI
Cao Cao
Cao Pi
Cao Ren
Cao Ang
Cao Bao
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei
Pang De
Sima Yi
Sima Shi
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Dun
Xiahou Yuan
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Xu Chu
Zhang Liao
Zhen Ji
Zhang He

WU
Sun Jian
Sun Ce
Sun Quan
Sun Shang Xiang
Gan Ning
Huang Gai
Ling Tong
Lu Meng
Lu Xun
Taishi Ci
Xiao Qiao
Da Qiao
Zhou Tai
Zhou Yu
Huangfu Song
Ling Tong
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao

SHU
Liu Bei
Liu Feng
Liu Chan
Zhuge Liang
Guan Yu
Zhang Fei
Zhao Yun
Pang Tong
Ma Chao
Huang Zhong
Jiang Wei
Wei Yan
Xing Cai
Yue Ying
Guan Ping
Guan Suo
Guan Xing
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Biao
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance
Dong Zhuo
Lu Bu
Diao Chan
Meng Huo
Zhu Rong
Hua Man
Zhang Jiao
Zuo Ci
Bao Sanniang
Cai Zhong
Chen Biao
Gongsun Fan
Gongsun Gong
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan
Lü Kuang
Gian Chan

Notice I added Gian Chan. Just for you Hardy. :)

hehe so wait, just cause im confused, if i were to hurt Cao Cao like so

Ma Chao hurts Cao Cao

wouldn't that actually kill him, or do they have a first time invulnerability?

well either way my first action is

MA CHAO HURTS CAO CAO

Xiao Qiao is walking in the gardens of Lu Jiang when she notices Sun Quan. She sneaks up on him and taps him on the shoulder. His head turns to see who it is but there is no one there. He turns back only to see Xiao Qiao infront of him.

Sun Quan: "Don't scare me Xiao Qiao"
Xiao Qiao: "But you should be scared."
Sun Quan: "Wha..?"

Xiao Qiao pulls out an extremely small knife and shanks Sun Quan.

Xiao Qiao killed Sun Quan.

Sun Shang Xiang sees Huang Zhong and challenges him to a bow shooting competition.

Huang Zhong: I will show you young whelp.

He shoots ten arrows all of which hit the bullseye of the target.

Shang Xiang is angry that she lost and beats Huang Zhong upside the head with her bow staff cracking his skull and breaking his neck and jaw causing him to die.

Sun Shang Xiang kill Huang Zhong

WEI
Cao Cao = dead
Cao Pi = dead
Cao Ren = dead
Cao Ang
Cao Bao
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei
Pang De = dead
Sima Yi
Sima Shi
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Dun
Xiahou Yuan
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Xu Chu
Zhang Liao
Zhen Ji
Zhang He

WU
Sun Jian
Sun Ce
Sun Quan = dead
Sun Shang Xiang +1
Gan Ning +1
Huang Gai
Ling Tong
Lu Meng
Lu Xun
Taishi Ci
Xiao Qiao +1
Da Qiao
Zhou Tai
Zhou Yu
Huangfu Song
Ling Tong
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao

SHU
Liu Bei
Liu Feng
Liu Chan
Zhuge Liang
Guan Yu
Zhang Fei
Zhao Yun
Pang Tong
Ma Chao +3
Huang Zhong =dead
Jiang Wei
Wei Yan
Xing Cai
Yue Ying
Guan Ping
Guan Suo
Guan Xing
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Biao
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance
Dong Zhuo
Lu Bu
Diao Chan
Meng Huo
Zhu Rong
Hua Man
Zhang Jiao
Zuo Ci
Bao Sanniang
Cai Zhong
Chen Biao
Gongsun Fan
Gongsun Gong
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan
Lü Kuang
Gian Chan

@Axel: Thanks for updating but I've got it from here :)

Xiao Qiao bumps into Sun Shang Xiang and they look at each other like best friends. Then they are jumped by Xiaohou Dun and Xiaohou Yuan.

Xiaohou Dun and Yuan: "We will be kidnapping you both now."

Xiao Qiao and Sun Shang Xiang: "Just try it."

The two Wei officers attempt to tackle both the girls to the ground but Xiaohou Dun misses. As he flies by Xiao Qiao grabs his sword and decapitates him with it.

Xiao Qiao has killed Xiaohou Dun

Shang Xiang dodges Xiaohou Yuan and proceeds to take the high-heels she was wearing of and stabs him in the eye penetrating to his brain.

Sun Shang Xiang has kill Xiaohou Yuan.

Guan Yu hurts Zhou Tai

Zheng Fei hurts Sun Jian

So ... does the heal work here as the person who hurts/kills someone?

Tentatively: Sun Shang Xiang hurts Zhuge Liang?

Oh yer, I get it now :P

And: Yue Ying hurts Dong Zhuo

Okay looks like an old vet needs to show how hurt/heal is REALLY done.  Pay attention, cause this is what made the original one epic.

(Zuo Ci sits upon his giant throne atop his mystical tower high in the mountains.  His studious gaze peers upwards through his telescope into a giant crimson orb.  The orb is composed of a crystal whose properties only Zuo Ci knows, and is cut into the shape of a perfect sphere.  About the orb steam powered gears and belts turn and churn, whilst inside the orb weird energies float about in a never ending current of cosmic conundrums.  Into this current, Zuo Ci gazes, searching for the perfect future.)

Zuo Ci:  Hmmmm, indeed.  My Fate Prognostication Device is nearly complete.  Yet still my perfect future eludes me.  I need one more ingredient before I can master destiny itself.  I need more magical power!!  And there is someone who may be able to provide it....

(In the land of Ye a mystic gathers to him all manner of rabble, an army forged but for one purpose, to destroy the dynasty of Han.  The mystics name is Zhange Jiao, and he is said to control the elements, as well as the minds of men.  Though he is confident of victory, he knows it is not assured and thus is still concerned about his prospects for success.)

Zhang Jiao:  I neeeeed more POWEEER!!!  Though their dedication is true, they no not how to wage waaaarrr!!  If the HAAaaaan are to be cast down, I neeed some means to counter the professional leadership and discipline of their armIIIEeeess!!!

(Zuo Ci enters the scene from some conveniently placed shadows)

Zuo Ci:  I may be able to assist you in this matter.

Zhange Jiao:  Ah, you are known to me, Zuo CIIIIiiiiii.  But what could you offer?

(In a Wei encampment shrouded in an unnatural fog, Xu Chu and Zhang He lament the deaths of Cao Cao and his son)

Xu Chu:  DUUUUUUhhhhhhh!!! Me sad!  ME FAT!!!!! Me kiely have heart disease, DAAAHAHAHAHA!!!

Zhange He:  Oh woe is Wei, for Cao Cao cant stay, look at these butterflies, I am so gay!!

(Suddenly, two figure appear from the fog)

Zhang Jiao:  Zhang He, you are an emBAAAArissment to the name of Zhange!!, Eat the flaAAAAAMES of the Yellow TurBAAANS!!!

(Zhange Jiao levels his staff at Zhange He, which suddenly spews forth a torrent of fire which reduces Zhange He to ashes in seconds)

Xu Chu:  HHHmmmm, humane flesh!!!  (farts)

Zuo Ci:  Hold fast my fat friend!!   You have plenty of yourself to lend!!  Engorge on your own flesh! I command thee, put your appetite to the test!!

(Xu Chu is suddenly overcome with an intense bottomless hunger.  With Zhange He's roasted claws he carves from himself strip after strip of fat to eat, only to grow hungrier by the second.  Over the course of an hour Xu Chu cannibalises himself to death)

Zhange Jiao and Zuo Ci:  Souls of the wicked, souls of the damned, fill this sphere quickly, by our command!!!

(The floating souls of Xu Chu and Zhange He are sucked into the sphere Zhange Jiao is holding.  Zuo Ci then teleports themselves to his tower.  Taking the soul sphere from Zhange Jiao, he pushes it into the giant orb of the Fate Prognostication Device, which absorbs the sphere like a raindrop falling into a lake.  The orb grows slightly brighter, and in Zuo Ci's telescope, the image he is looking for, though murky and blurred, begins to manifest.)

Zuo Ci:  Yes, the perfect future is near at hand...

(Thus is forged the Deadly Alliance of Zhange Jiao and Zuo Ci)

[Zhange Jiao kills Zhange He]

[Zuo Ci Kills Xu Chu]

Liu Bei walks across the battlefield and stumbles across an officer. He attacks crying "For great Justice!" Sun shang Xiang slashes him across the face with her chakram. Sun Shang Xiang looks up at the sky and proclaims "Enemy officer defeated!"

Sun Shang Xiang has killed Liu Bei.

Sun Ce and Zhou Yu stand back to back surrounded by a circle of enemies. Sword and tonfa strike simultaneously and Xing Cai and Xu Chu fall to the dusty ground.

Sun Ce & Zhou Yu have killed Xing Cai & Xu Chu

It took me a moment to realize that I get two moves

Sima Yi notices a figure bent over the battlefield retching. Sima Yi "A weakling who can't even stand the sight of battle has no place in it."

Liu Chan rises. "Shut up! I will be strong!"

Liu Chan dashes forward. Sima Yi sidesteps his blade and slices his neck open with a slash of his fan.

Sima Yi "Insolent whelp"

Sima Yi has killed Liu Chan.

WEI
Cao Ang
Cao Bao
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei
Sima Yi +1
Sima Shi
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Zhang Liao
Zhen Ji
Zhang He

WU
Sun Ce +1
Sun Shang Xiang +4
Gan Ning +1
Huang Gai
Ling Tong
Lu Meng
Lu Xun
Taishi Ci
Xiao Qiao +2
Da Qiao
Zhou Yu +1
Huangfu Song
Ling Tong
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao

SHU
Liu Feng
Guan Yu +1
Zhang Fei +1
Zhao Yun
Pang Tong
Ma Chao +3
Jiang Wei
Wei Yan
Yue Ying +1
Guan Ping
Guan Suo
Guan Xing
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Biao
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance
Lu Bu
Diao Chan
Meng Huo
Zhu Rong
Hua Man
Zhang Jiao
Zuo Ci
Bao Sanniang
Cai Zhong
Chen Biao
Gongsun Fan
Gongsun Gong
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan
Lü Kuang
Gian Chan

Defeated List:

Ma Chao killed Cao Cao
Gan Ning killed Cao Ren
Xiao Qiao shanked Sun Quan to death
Sun Shang Xiang bludgeoned Huang Zhong to death
Ma Chao impaled Pang De
Ma Chao impaled Cao Pi multiple times
Xiao Qiao decapitated Xiaoho Dun
Sun Shang Xiang mutilated Xiaoho Yuan's face
Guan Yu killed Zhou Tai
Zhang Fei killed Sun Jian
Sun Shang Xiang killed Zhuge Liang
Yue Ying killed Dong Zhou
Sun Shang Xiang slashed Liu Bei across the face causing death
Zhou Yu sliced Xu Chu
Sun Ce bludgeoned Xing Cai
Sima Yi sliced open Liu Chan's neck

Guan Yu crushes Lu Bu with his bare hands.

Zheng Fei cracks Diao Chan over the head with his empty wine bottle. 

better?

how dare you make Gian Chan in other :o

Gian Chan walks down the streets of China deciding to buy some wine. As he walks down he sees Meng Hou and Gian Chan says

Gian Chan: Why hello Cao Cao

Meng Hou: Who are you?

Gian Chan:... Gian Chan

Meng Hou: Never heard of you

Gian Chan:.... really

*Meng Housnaps his fingers*

Cao Cao: Oh ya.... no sorry

Gian Chan with rage slashes Meng Hou

gian Chan killed meng Hou

Zhu Rong suddenly comes and says "You killed that Fat Ass nice"

Gian Chan said "I dont flirt with hoes"!

Gian CHan grabs a magical toy and stuck it where the sun never shone

Gian Chan killed Zhu ROng

WEI
Cao Ang
Cao Bao
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei
Sima Yi +1
Sima Shi
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Zhang Liao
Zhen Ji

WU
Sun Ce +1
Sun Shang Xiang +4
Gan Ning +1
Huang Gai
Ling Tong
Lu Meng
Lu Xun
Taishi Ci
Xiao Qiao +2
Da Qiao
Zhou Yu
Huangfu Song
Ling Tong
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao

SHU
Liu Feng
Guan Yu +2
Zhang Fei +2
Zhao Yun
Pang Tong
Ma Chao +3
Jiang Wei
Wei Yan
Yue Ying +1
Guan Ping
Guan Suo
Guan Xing
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Biao
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance
Lu Bu
Diao Chan
Meng Huo
Zhu Rong
Hua Man
Zhang Jiao +1
Zuo Ci +1
Bao Sanniang
Cai Zhong
Chen Biao
Gongsun Fan
Gongsun Gong
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan
Lü Kuang
Gian Chan +2

Defeated List:

Ma Chao killed Cao Cao
Gan Ning killed Cao Ren
Xiao Qiao shanked Sun Quan to death
Sun Shang Xiang bludgeoned Huang Zhong to death
Ma Chao impaled Pang De
Ma Chao impaled Cao Pi multiple times
Xiao Qiao decapitated Xiaoho Dun
Sun Shang Xiang mutilated Xiaoho Yuan's face
Guan Yu killed Zhou Tai
Zhang Fei killed Sun Jian
Sun Shang Xiang killed Zhuge Liang
Yue Ying killed Dong Zhou
Sun Shang Xiang slashed Liu Bei across the face causing death
Zhang Jiao burnt Zhang HE to a crisp
Zuo Ci forced Xu Chu to engage in cannibalism upon himself
Sun Ce bludgeoned Xing Cai
Sima Yi sliced open Liu Chan's neck
Guan Yu crushed Lu Bu
Zhang Fei cracked Diao Chan's skull
Gian Chan slashed Meng Huo to death
Gian Chan caused Zhu Rong the ultimate discomfort

@Emperor Steel: I wasn't sure what it was. Error has been corrected.

Looking to further test his knowledge and strenght, Ma Chao set himself on a quest to find the greatest Warrior, and the greatest strategist the world has ever known, a few days later he ran intoGian Chan,"Why hello there, you must be the great and mighty warrior Gian Chan, its a pleasure to meet you" Ma Chao bows before him, showing humility, thenGian Chan replies, "What could bring such a splendid warrior like yourself before me?"Chao replied, " I wanted to ask you for asistance in helping me fight the mightiest, and most intelligent warriors in the land", Chanagreed to his request and the 2 went on they're adventure together, they slew many generals along the way who had self-declared themselves this and that. They eventualy bump intoLu Buat a nearby Inn,"How dare you touch me you stupid pesant, don't you know who I am? I'm the greatest warrior of China, Lu Bu, and now you will face my wrath!!!"(Can anyone see where this is going?) The trio begin their battle. Gian Chan atacks Lu Bu, and sends him flying through the wall hitting innocent bystanders in the process,"Chan, you must watch what your doing!" Gian Chanignores Ma Chao and goes on assaulting the so called greatest warrior. Lu Bu, then spilts his weapon and creates a cyclone with his mystic chi powers,Giangrabs hold of a fence post, and Ma Chao seeing this unfold before him, formulates a strategy to stop this madness. He grabs the sacred spear Dragon Fang (DW5 Zhao Yun) off of the Inn's wall above the bar, and throws it into the middle of the cyclone, his plan backfires, and the spear is sent back at him. He deflects the spear with his giant sword, but the velocity and force from the impact of the spear starts to crack his sword, distraught, Ma Chao, with the help ofGian Chan, formulate a new plan, they decide to rush into the cyclone, and atackLu Buhead on. They hide behind a house until the winds die down a little, then they run along the walls of the city and jump into the cyclone,Gian Chanis the one who knocksLu Buout while Ma Chao, coming in the opposite direction, slaughtersLu Buwith his giant blade, the body is mutilated by the blade shattering inside of him.

Ma Chao slaughtersLu Bu

Gian Chan, turns around and stabs Zhang Liao, who came running into to late to serve his master Lu Bu

Gian Chan stabs Zhang Liao

Guan Ping and Guan Xing circle around Sun Ce.

Guan Ping "You're about to fall, Little Conquerer!"

The two lunge forward as one, a cry of "Brother!" is heard. Sun Shang Xiang rides a horse forward. She leaps from the horse and impales Guan Xing on her chakram.

Sun Ce laughs. "That's my little sister or you." Sun Ce crushes Guan Ping's skull with his tonfa.

Sun Shang Xiang has slain Guan Xing.

Sun Ce has slain Guan Ping.

guan yu and zheng fei should be +2 btw

guan yu pokes meng huo in the heart with his spear

zheng fei craps down Zhu Rongs throat

Umm I think Zhou Yu should be +1 as well, he killed Xu Chu (sp?)

Yue Ying dives to the side to avoid the frontal attack. Springing back up she uses the haft of her spear as leverage to kick her opponent away and using this opportunity of a broken defence drives the blade of her Horizon through the midruff of her attacker. Zhang Liao falls.

Yue Ying kills Zhang Liao

Meanwhile Zhou Yu engages Wei Yan in a linguistic logic puzzle. After a mere half-an-hour with the eloquent strategist, Wei Yan, being vocally challenged, decides he can't take it anymore and retires.

Zhou Yu kills Wei Yan

this thing needs to be accurately updated. everyone make sure you summarize your kills at the end of each post so the "keeper" can keep up with it.

Jiang Wei rides his horse across the battlefield. He sees Sima Yi on the ground and charges. Sima Yi smirks. "You fell for it."

An arablest fires, filling the horse with arrows. Jiang Wei begins stumbling upward when Sima Yi beheads him using a fan.

Sun Shang Xiang comes face to face with Pang Tong. Pang Tong: "I will avenge Liu Bei!"

Sun Shang Xiang disembowels him using her chakram as he rushes forward.

Sima Yi has beheaded Jiang Wei

Sun Shang Xiang has disemboweled Pang Tong

ma Chao was playing poker with some friends when Gian CHan decided to join. In the table was Lu Xun and Liu Geng . he Jin was cheating and making Ma Chao lose 400 Gp. So Gian Chan angrily grabbed the card deck and shoved it up He Jin's...

Gian Chan killed Liu Feng

Ma Chao realized He Jin was cheating so Lu Xun said

Lu Xun: Please you must pass kindness to one neighbor to..

Ma chao told Lu Xun to stfu and Lu Xun said

Lu Xun:I may be young but im mighty so prepare to...

ma Chao be-heads Lu Xun

Ma Chao killed Lu Xun

@Calen: You killed a character that was already dead with Zhou Yu. Xu Chu was killed by JeffSteel in a previous post

@Bruneau: Thank you for that suggestion. Please abide by it. Also your move is invalid. Meng Huo and Zhu Rong were killed by Hardy.

@Hardy: Calen changed her attack to He Jin so he is already dead and the beginning of your move is invalid.

Everyone please keep an eye on the "Defeated list"

Are we clear here?

@Calen: You killed a character that was already dead with Zhou Yu. Xu Chu was killed by JeffSteel in a previous post

@Bruneau: Thank you for that suggestion. Please abide by it.

@Hardy: Calen changed her attack to He Jin so he is already dead and the beginning of your move is invalid.

Are we clear here?

bug_trevor

WEI
Cao Ang
Cao Bao
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei
Sima Yi +2
Sima Shi
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Zhang Liao
Zhen Ji

WU
Sun Ce +2
Sun Shang Xiang +6
Gan Ning +1
Huang Gai
Ling Tong
Lu Meng
Lu Xun
Taishi Ci
Xiao Qiao +2
Da Qiao
Zhou Yu +1
Huangfu Song
Ling Tong
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao

SHU
Liu Feng
Guan Yu +2
Zhang Fei +2
Zhao Yun
Pang Tong
Ma Chao +4
Jiang Wei
Wei Yan
Yue Ying +2
Guan Ping
Guan Suo
Guan Xing
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Biao
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance
Lu Bu
Diao Chan
Meng Huo
Zhu Rong
Hua Man
Zhang Jiao +1
Zuo Ci +1
Bao Sanniang
Cai Zhong
Chen Biao
Gongsun Fan
Gongsun Gong
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan
Lü Kuang
Gian Chan +3

Defeated List:

Ma Chao killed Cao Cao
Gan Ning killed Cao Ren
Xiao Qiao shanked Sun Quan to death
Sun Shang Xiang bludgeoned Huang Zhong to death
Ma Chao impaled Pang De
Ma Chao impaled Cao Pi multiple times
Xiao Qiao decapitated Xiaoho Dun
Sun Shang Xiang mutilated Xiaoho Yuan's face
Guan Yu killed Zhou Tai
Zhang Fei killed Sun Jian
Sun Shang Xiang killed Zhuge Liang
Yue Ying killed Dong Zhou
Sun Shang Xiang slashed Liu Bei across the face causing death
Zhang Jiao burnt Zhang HE to a crisp
Zuo Ci forced Xu Chu to engage in cannibalism upon himself
Sun Ce bludgeoned Xing Cai
Sima Yi sliced open Liu Chan's neck
Guan Yu crushed Lu Bu
Zhang Fei cracked Diao Chan's skull
Gian Chan slashed Meng Huo to death
Gian Chan caused Zhu Rong the ultimate discomfort
Gian Chan stabbed Zhang Liao
Sun Shang Xiang impaled Guan Xing
Sun Ce crushed Guan Ping's skull
Yue Ying killed He Jin
Zhou Yu killed Wei Yan
Sima Yi beheaded Jiang Wei
Sun Shang Xiang disembowled Pang Tong
Ma Chao beheaded Lu Xun

Sorry about confusing everyone, I was ... confused.

Ok right who've we got ...

A maddness raging through the kingdoms temporarily causes loyal officers to attack their own. Zhao Yun stealthily sneaks down a corridor in the Shu palace and skewers Lui Feng. While in Wu, Zhou Yu slits the throat of Sun Kuang before disappearing back into the mists.

Zhao Yun has attacked Lui Feng

Zhou Yu has attacked Sun Kuang

Shouldn't the defeated characters be removed from the list of faction characters to avoid confusion?

Ma Chao smugly rides forward when Lu Meng knocks him off of his horse with the end of his halberd. As Ma Chao tries to rise from the ground Sun Ce kicks him so that his face lands in manure.

Lu Meng has wounded Ma Chao

Sun Ce has wounded Ma Chao

Gian Chan was riding out alone and found Ma Chao in the farmlands. They decided to help villagers when Zhang Jiao flew into the fields and was shooting fire everywhere and burning villagers.

Ma Chao and Gian Chan ran to Zhang Jiao and yelled at him to explain himself. Zhang Jiao said

Zhang Jiao: IM FIGHTING! FOR THE WAY OF PEACE!

Ma Chao:... youre burning people

Zhang Jiao: YES! FOR THE WAY OF PEACE!

Gian Chan: You are seriously on some drugs

Zhang Jiao: WHO ARE YOU?!

Gian Chan:... the freaking main character of Dynasty Warriors Adventure!

Zhang Jiao: WHATS THAT?

Gian Chan angrily tried to kill Zhang Jiao, but Ma Chao held him back and told him its not worth it. Zhang Jiao then said

Zhang Jiao: HEY MA CHAO WHY DONT YOU GO PLAY WITH YOURE FATHER? OH WAIT THATS RIGHT HE'S DEAD!!! HAHAHAHA

Ma Chao without warning slashes Zhang Jiao

Ma Chao hurt Zhang Jiao

Gian Chan gets into the action and burns zhang Jiao

Gian Chan killed Zhang Jiao

Liu Dai jumps from a tree to attack Lu Meng from behind. Lu Meng calmly sticks the blade of his halberd up, causing Liu Dai to become impaled on it.

Ma Dai lunges at Sun Shang Xiang. She cuts his spear in twain with her chakram and cuts off both of his arms, causing him to bleed to death.

Lu Meng has impaled Liu Dai

Sun Shang Xiang has cut off Ma Dai's arms. causing him to bleed to death.

did you all fix the kill list yet?

Ma Chao and Gian Chan made the oath in the beer garden. They drank extremly viciously.

The next day Gian Chan was hungover and heard loud noises outside. As he went out Huangfu Song and Pang Togn were sparing. Gian Chan told them to quite down and he saw Huangfu Song he said

Gian Chan: Can you keep it down...

Huangfu Song: Who are you?

Gian Chan:... im the main character in the 1st story.

Huangfu SOng: Oh ya thats right, but its just im one of the main characters in the sequel... you know... the better one.

Gian CHan: ya well guess what... youre name is Huangfu Song, not Huanfong Song... so youre a generic :)

Huanfu Song:.... oh crap

Gian Chan be-headed Huangfu song

Gian CHan kileld Huangfu Song

Pang Tong mutted

Pang Tong: Even though he's a generic dw4 fans love him more than you.

Gian Chan: What did you say, damm moth!

Gian Chan sprayed bug-repellent on Pang Tong

Gian Chan killed Pang Tong

Zhang Fei struggles to his feet after the Sun sibling's attack Sima Yi walks up behind him and breaks his neck.

Lu Meng and Guan Suo clash on the battlefield. Lu Meng runs Guan Suo through with his halberd.

Sima Yi has broken Zhang Fei's neck.

Lu Meng has impaled Guan Suo.