If you are offended easily, you should exit this thread now. You have been warned.
Alrighty then! Without further adieu, I present to you Fifty Shades of Dynasty Warriors:
As the battle winded down, Liu Bei and the Shu army knew they were in trouble. Alas, the night grew late and Shu was served their first lost battle of the year at the hands of Sun Jian and the Wu army. The peasants rushed on the battlefield to celebrate with the warriors. As the peasants ran towards Liu Bei, they caught him shaking the hand of the joyous Sun Jian. "Congrats on your victory" said Liu Bei as their eyes locked. Sun Jian pulled Liu Bei in closer. "You fought well." Sun Jian whispered.
Liu Bei walked into a steamy bath and began to undress. His gigantic dong flopped out of his battle garments. A thundering bang was heard when it slapped against his leg. He hopped in the bath and began to cleanse himself of sweat and dirt. After his bath, he put on his normal attire: underwear, pants, and wool shirt.
Liu Bei said his goodbyes to his fellow warriors and walked to his horse . As he approached his horse, he began to feel very odd. He looked around and saw nobody but felt as if he was being watched. As he continued to walk, something was not right. As he approached his horse, a hand wrapped around his mouth and said, "Don't make a sound." As he began to panic, the hand pulled away and Liu Bie could hear laughter. Sun Jian was on the ground laughing. Liu Bei looked shocked. "Sun Jian, you *sshole!" He then playfully slapped Sun Jian. "Sorry, I couldn't help it!" The two embraced each other and began to kiss slowly. Sun Jian whispered, "I'm sorry that I beat your a** on the battlefield and now I am going to beat your a** in your bed."
Liu Bei began to unzip Sun Jian's pants. He grabbed his monstrous pecker and began to move his hand up and down. "Oh yeah, Liu Bei. You know how daddy likes it." Liu Bei dropped to his knees and put this huge thing in his mouth. He sucked up and down, licking the throbbing member quickly. His slobber coated Sun Jian's dong. "Ok get up Liu Bei." Liu Bei quickly stood up and took his pants off. "F*ck my boy p*ssy Sun Jian." Sun Jian thrusted himself deep inside Liu Bei's anus. Sun Jian was grunting and Liu Bei was moaning. "Yeah, take it you little b*tch." Liu Bei kept taking the dick into his hairy *sshole. "F*ck me harder!" Sun Jian pumped away. Liu Bei could feel his dong begin to swell. Within minutes, Sun Jian blew his gigantic load inside Liu Bei's tight little butt hole. "Well, I hope I see you at the battle of Hu Lao Gate." whispered Sun Jian.
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