what modem works well for xbox live.

i want a very fast modem so my games wont lag as bad, any recommendations

Best router you can get:

D-Link Xtreme N with with wireless prioritization for gaming, media streaming, and VoIP.

I've had 3 Linksys routers die on me for no reason.

Well if you are talking about a router which I assume you are get the D-Link DGL 4300. I bought it brand new on ebay for $90. This router gives you the option to give your 360 priority. Which means if your computer and 360 are on at the same time the 360 will recieve most of the bandwith that your modem takes in. But if you are looking for an actual modem those are usaully issued to you by your ISP so I guess get a better ISP with faster internet.

If you have everything hardwired I'd say just keep it that way. Wireless will only bring more problems and I don't think what your experiencing is related to that anyway. What sort of problems are you having when you host?crowbarfacelift

Just that nobody joins my games and wenever I join a friends their rooms fill up in about a second